The Dreaded Make-up Age!

Updated on January 08, 2008
L.E. asks from Houston, TX
18 answers

My 11 year old daughter has decided that it's time to start wearing make-up. I do not approve as I seriously believe that she is too young. While the application of the product is subtle, I noticed it right off. She is wearing mascara and a tinted lip gloss. I really have no problem with the tinted gloss as I normally purchase it for her. It is a barely there gloss and it kept her satisfied. She is really a good girl and obeys my every request. We have a wonderful relationship that just seems to continue to blossom, however my question is, how do I let her know that I disapprove of this make-up phase and that it's just not time? What is the appropriate age for girls to start applying make-up. I may just be old fashioned, but I know that I didn't even start wearing lipstick until 10th grade.

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So What Happened?

I really appreciate all of the responses that I received regarding my dilemma. My daughter and I went out today and purchased clear mascara. I explained to her that there was plenty of time to wear makeup and that when the time was right, I would personally take her to a department store to pick out items that are best for her. She was more than happy with the solution and I even think that she felt like a big girl going to purchase makeup with mommy. I also made her promise to never share makeup with anyone else while in the process. She was instructed that her mascara and gloss must stay at home for the time being and that when she started middle school, she could begin bringing it with her in her purse. Again, I thank you for all of your advise, it was much appreciated.

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C.H.

answers from Houston on

This is a decision every mother dreads. I agree that 11 years old is too young for real makeup. Lip gloss is a good compromise. I have 2 daughters of my own and I have decided that they will have to wait until they are 13 to wear makeup. That's how old I was. Just wait until she asked you if she can start shaving her legs!

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

My 11 year old daughter is doing the same thing. I went through the same doubts and old fashion feelings but I got over them when I went to school with her and saw the way the other girls are wearing the stuff. I sat down with my daughter and showed her how to apply it and then we went and bought her make up. It cost a little more but I bought her bare minerals so it doesn't damage her skin. I feel better about knowing she has her own and won't be sharing with any little girls at school.

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M.S.

answers from McAllen on

Hi there, I felt that maybe I could help out a bit by responding.
As you, I was in total shock the realize that todays girls are just growing up too soon. I didn't waer makeup till I was 25. At the time I was working at a children's fashion store and had to make purching desitions and be open to what todays girls look for. Therefore I realized how even the little girls start to get the peer presure about how to look and ack like the other girls. Not all kids are as futunate to have a strong relationship with their parents and the reality is that our kids that do talk to us, spend their time with these other kids all the time

I have a daugther of 13, therefore I know what you are going through. I'm no expert but maybe my experence can help you a little.
I divorsed her dad when she was small, so she and I have strong bond and friendship we talk alot about everything.
At the same age of 11 is when she did exactly the same thing mascara and lip glose. I told her no mascara. But at times Id find out that she still did it at school because I have good relationships with her teachers. So after compromising with her we decided to only do the clear mascara and lipglose and ok. I thought that if I can't stop it I could monitor it. But of course it didn't stop there.
When she started middle school my sweet lil girl did a full 360 on me from a pink princess to an Emo chic.
Black makeup all over! I was in shock to say the the least.
I took it as a phase and just realy had a hard time with the black eyeliner so again I found myself compromising. We said that she could only do it on occasions. And I was lucky, because it was just a phase and she doesn't do it any more. She realized that she realy looked bad instead of cool.
Now a days she still wears some make up and we have fun days doing eachothers makeup. We talk about what looks best. I just try to keep the comunication line very open. Because now the next issue has arrive...boyfriends.

Have a wonderful day. And keep up the good work!

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M.W.

answers from Longview on

My son is 13 and all the girls in his class that I know where entirely too much make-up. I would suggest that you sit her down and explain your feelings about make-up but also listen to why she wants to wear it so bad. And if you decide to let her just sit her down and show her how to apply it sparingly so she is not wearing so much. I think it is great that you are a concerned parent about this. I wish some of my sons friends that are girls had some lessons. Hope everything works out and you are able to come to a compromise.

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K.L.

answers from Beaumont on

I know how you feel!! My oldest daughter is 13 and has started with the makeup thing. If you and your child can talk to each other openly and candidly, then you won't have any major problems. Sit down with her and talk to her about your concerns. Compromise!!!! You can agree to let her use lip gloss...but cut out the mascara. (I don't like mascara much myself) My daughter uses an eye pencil for eyeliner. That's all she really needs. She lets me show her how to apply the makeup so she won't go to school looking like a clown. Or worse yet, end up with that line around her face that marks where the skin ends and the base makeup begins. *shudder* Why not make this a special occasion and take her to the mall to get her colors identified. I think it's Dillard's that does that kind of thing. Work on her colors together. Help her buy makeup. Spend an hour in the cosmetics section of Wal-mart deciding what is best for her face and skin tone. Give her your history and stories from when you were growing up. That way, your bond becomes stronger and you still have the feeling of control that you need to satisfy the old-fashioned tendencies. And she will have the pleasant memories to share with her kids when the time comes.

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S.E.

answers from Sherman on

Bless you, I have four grandaughters and the are 7,11,11, and 11. They are wearing the lip gloss but no mascara yet. I am a Arbonne Consutant and Licensed Esthetician. Two things I would like to let ya know is MAKE sure the Mascara is from Natural Sources. I learned it Esthetics School that they use Bat Gwana to blacken some mascara,looked it up on the Internet also,and was true. Remember also after 3 or 4 months mascara's can start to retain bacteria's, you should change all mascara's after alot of use. Please take time to show her how to apply it, if you decide to let her wear it at this age (my opinion to young for mascara yet)
We had a lady who got a bad infection from poking her eye with the mascara brush. Oh and look at www.arbonne.com we have a whole new line of teenager makeup, that is awesome, not really a makeup but tinted moisturizer it is called F.Y.I. and we also have a awesome Acne Treatment line if you ever run into that problem as they grow up. Good luck Barbara R. my business listing is Honey's Skin Care and Arbonne International Skin Care

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D.Y.

answers from Houston on

that's scary; my daughter is also 11 yrs old and she sometimes wears lipgloss. I'm hoping that she'll wait until at least 15 for real makeup; tell your daughter that she should wear her natural beauty for as long as possible

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

My 12 year old just started wearing makeup eyeliner and mascara. At first I disapproved but then I had to step back and remember she is growing up. She is already in the 6th grade and has started shaving. The next step is make-up but monitor the application.

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H.B.

answers from Houston on

Give her a horror story. Tell her the bad stuff about wearing makeup to early. That eventually it will suck the moisture out of your face and you will always have to put it on. All of the pi ples make up causes by clogging pores. I know it sounds horrible, but my mom did the same thing with shaving my legs and I waited and I am a much happier woman today b/c I dont have to shave every day or even every other day. Somethings are just if you wait or only for special occasions. If that doesnt work try clear mascara and the Clinique products which are very good for your skin. Hope this helps.

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A.V.

answers from Beaumont on

I started wearing just lip gloss and some mascara when I was about 12 years old. You could always get her the clear mascara and let her wear that. It might keep her happy for at least another year and then when the time comes then she can add some color. The clear mascara adds length but not color to the eyelashes. I would just let her know that you don't think she is old enough for colored mascara but she could wear clear.

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E.H.

answers from Houston on

Because you and your daughter still have such a wonderful relationship, why not approach the situation as such? Why not sit down with her and make a decision about it together. If you come to her with your opinion as opposed to coming at her as if she's done something wrong, maybe you two can come together and decide on something that will satisfy both of you. Who knows? Maybe she'll agree to wait another year if you'll agree she's old enough then. Or, maybe you can set up milestones - lip gloss is fine now, when you turn 12, we can add the mascara and so forth. If you have a great relationship, you don't want to start tarnishing it with the little battles because there are so many more to come! Hope this idea helps!

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W.K.

answers from Tyler on

My oldest daughter is almost 17 and I do remember the first stages of her wanting to were makeup. We set down and I told her that for her age which was somewhere close to your daughters age that she just could wear pink eye shadow and lip gloss or pink lip stick. I told her once she got a little older that she could start adding a few more products. If you and your daughter are as close as you say you are then she will be ok with you telling her that you are not ready for her to wear mascara just yet and let her know what you do appove of. You can even let her start wearing power, you can't really tell she will even have it on.

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M.G.

answers from Houston on

I told Burgundy she couldn't wear it, and when I caught her putting it on, I plucked her eyebrows. 1-2 hairs at a time. To remind her of the cost of worldly beauty.

She quit wearing makeup.

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S.D.

answers from Tyler on

How about some clear gel mascara and tell her this is your compromise until she is whatever age you choose. I remember well my Mom taking me and my sister to a makeup distributor and getting us made up then purchasing the basics including skin care. It was a great experience. We were 15.
This gives the "expert" twist on the makeup and we followed it because it was not Mom's advice. As a result my makeup was always tastefully done as a kid.
Good luck

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V.C.

answers from Houston on

Hello. I have a thirteen year old daughter. While some of her friends started wearing makeup in the 4th grade, I did not approve. Her friends would apply the makeup so thick and it seemed that their parents did not care. I too would allow my daughter to wear lip gloss, but that was it. It wasn't until she turned 13 in November that I really started to let her experiment with eye shadow. After Christmas, I started to let her use eye liner as long as it is put on lightly. Being at the age where kids are prone to acne, I purchased a makeup kit from sheer cover. This foundation is in powder form and only contains natural ingredients. Unlike liquid foundation, this goes on smoothly and does not look caked on. It also will not clog pores. I think that 13 is the age to start allowing your daughter to start experimenting with makeup. Just make sure you teach her and supervise to make sure she understands how to do it. I also have a great relationship with my daughter, so it made it easy to let her know that she was just too young to start wearing it regardless of what other kids were doing. She understood that and respected my wishes.

A.G.

answers from Houston on

stick with what you have been doing. try clear mascara, and buy makeup for her that is almost identical to her skin tone

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S.O.

answers from Houston on

My daughters started at age 12. Mostly just eye make-up and lip gloss. I wouldnt worry if I were you if she is just wanting to wear mascara and lip gloss. Just make sure she wears it sparingly and not over do it.

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

I have a 9 year old who wants to wear makeup real bad. She knows my feeling that only lip gloss with a hint of color. I will let her wear polish on her toes. She really thinks she is big time when she gets her toes polished. She knows how I feel about makeup and does not push to hard right now to wear it. Let your daugher know how you feel and set limits. Your own limits and not anyone elses. Just know you are not alone, I think we all feel old fashion about this subject. I was a teenager when I was alowed to wear lipstick.

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