"The baby"....arrrgh, This Is Vent

Updated on November 03, 2011
E.M. asks from Liberty, MO
43 answers

okay, so maybe it's just me, but I hate when people call a baby "it"...when you or someone is/was pregnant and someone called the baby "it"...It makes me so mad. Like when I was preggo with my first, this girl I worked with kept calling the baby "it". I told her, my child is not an IT. she said "well you dont know what it is yet so what else am i supposed to say" I told her "I dont know what sex THE BABY is yet, so we call our child, THE BABY"

I know it's not my business when it is someone else child but it still upsets me. A girl my husband used to work with is on our FB. She is pregnant with her second child, her first is just a few months older than our oldest. I asked her when she would find out if she was having another boy or a girl. and she said, "In two weeks, as long as it cooperates"....I wanted to reach through the computer and slap her. I responded back that I was sure the baby would cooperate.

Okay, so I am done with my vent. Does this bother anyone else too? What are some things that people say that irratate you? either regarding pregnancy or children or just in general i guess...pet peeves etc?

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So What Happened?

obviously I know that "it" is a pronoun. To me, when you call your child "it" it is just dehumanizing. Like people who say "the fetus" instead of the baby, just seems like a way to stay distant or like saying the child is less than human. I just feel like it takes something away, why be so impersonnal? just my opinion. we all have opinions.

Featured Answers

A.H.

answers from Tulsa on

I don't have a problem calling the baby it before you know what it is. I don't like the term preggers, so I don't use it, but it doesn't bother me if someone else wants to refer to themself as that. There are a lot worse things they could say.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I cannot stand it when a parent (fathers, in particular) says that they are babysitting when they have to tend to their child(ren) by themselves. It's called PARENTING. Babysitting is when the child belongs to someone else!

I also dislike when people quote a phrase incorrectly. "I could care less" is the one I hear most often. GAH! This is stating the exact opposite of what is intended, and I hear it on TV, in movies, songs... 9 times out of 10 they get it wrong! It should be "I couldn't (COULD NOT) care less."

And calling a baby "it" before the gender is known doesn't really bother me, but having someone refer to my daughter as "he" when she is dressed head to toe in pink and has her ears peirced (and looks nothing like a boy!) does.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I see callinga baby it as completely normal, but mostly because I also speak German and "the baby" is said in gender neutral, while "the sofa" is female. (also something funny about German, "the girl" is also gender neutral, while "the boy" is masculine... A girl only becomes female once she is married... So no sex until marriage girls!)

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More Answers

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I'm sorry, but I really think you're being far too sensitive about this. English is just too limited with the pronouns having only he, she, and it to choose from. It's awkward to have to always say "the baby" when "it" is perfectly acceptable if you don't know the sex yet. And yes, a baby can be classified as an "it."

"The baby sat on its fanny."
"The baby sucked its thumb."
"The baby couldn't roll over so it had to be helped by its mother."
"You don't know the sex of your baby? Oh well... do you know when it is due?"

Yeah, I don't see the problem. The word "it" is not an insult nor a derogatory term. You can even use the word "it" for a child that's been born! {{{gasp}}}

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

It is a proper pronoun when the baby is still gender-less.
"It" is still used for idiomatic phrases such as Is it a boy or a girl? Once the gender of the child has been established, the speaker or writer then switches to gender-specific pronouns.
Kind of reminds me of the post about whether dad should be called dad or daddy.
It's a personal pet peeve of yours, eh?
"The Baby" sounds more personal, but "it" is okay when we dont know if "it" has a tail or a split-tail yet.
*I dont like it when people say woof for wolf or punkin for pumpkin or death for deaf and birfday for birthday. Those drive me crazy.

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

'The Baby is growing so fast, I can't believe how active The Baby is! I feel like The Baby is going to be a girl, but it's too early to know what The Baby will be. What do you think The Baby is going to be? OH! The Baby is moving?!?! Do you want to feel The Baby?'

Yeah... that would get old in a hurry. ESPECIALLY with brand-new, first time parents who are constantly talking about their baby. 'It' is a pronoun, just another word. It's not like calling your baby 'it' is dehumanizing it, simply assigning a different word so you don't have to repeat the same thing over and OVER.

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

It could be worse... someone could call it "the parasite that's draining your life force causing you to fall asleep at your desk every day at work and eat like a pack horse" instead. In my opinion, before the little cuties pop out they are a completely parasitic "it", and sometimes for many years afterwards. ;)

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K.L.

answers from Medford on

I dont care for "preggers" or "preggo" and find it rather cold and impersonal when parents call thier children "the kid".. Its one thing to say "the kids went to school", but "the kid wont clean his room", or "he didnt pick up his kid till late".. just seems like they are talking about something unimportant or mundane. I watch a few court tv shows and when parents are fighting over aspects of raising their children it always sways me against the parent who says, "I had my kid" or "I left my kid with him" "I took the kid to school"..Just bugs me. Also cringe at "kiddo" especially when used over and over in a post. And I really dont like the term Baby Bump. But I dont get all upset and angry when I hear these terms. I just figure everyone has a reason why they say what they say. I try to do better when I talk.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

'It' is better to me than 'peanut' or 'jellybean' or 'giggle-pants' or 'junior'... I even think it's weird to call the baby by the chosen name once the sex is known."'The Baby' has a weird ring to it as well, especially if used a lot, kind of annoying really.... But whatever the couple feels comfortable with is fine by me. I doubt calling the baby an 'it' means the mother has any less love for it. Just take a deep breath and let it go... .not worth getting so riled up you feel the urge to slap.

As for my pet peeve.. when people always try to one up each other, "Well MY pregnancy was more difficult..." and that kind of stuff. It's not a competition people.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

So I guess you're not a fan of the book, "A Child Called It" ;-)

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

I think I made a conscious choice somewhere along the way to let all this stuff go. Whenever I see these posts I am always an offender of somebody else, even when I agree with the posters point of view I am typically an offender of some of the responders pet peeves. We can't please everybody and they can't please us either I guess. Like case in point, I have kids that have a black parent (my hubby, which is a term I know people don't like sometimes apparently) and a white parent, which of course is me ;) So everyone calls my kids mixed, I am not a fan of the term. But you know, I use it!! It helps others identify what I am talking about and they understand the term and I haven't come up with anything better so I just let it go and moved on. So I am more in a live an let live position I guess, which is probably a phrase that offends someone..... ;)

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Grandma T said what I was thinking so I won't repeat it. It would be the same as after saying a person's proper name using s/he he/r the rest of the conversation.
And to answer the question of things that irritate me to hear people say...boys will be boys. Especially when used in regards to annoying, rambunctious etc behaviour. I hear that from a family member about her son far too much but if her daughter does anything the same she's reamed for it. AARGH!

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I can't stand it when people give their unborn baby food names- peanut, bean, etc. It's so aggravating...

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L.J.

answers from Louisville on

It can be hard to keep saying "the baby" or him or her everytime over and over when you talk about the baby. People don't mean to say anything bad when they call the baby "it" in general conversation. I think you are very sensitive about it - too sensitive if you are getting mad at the way that they talk about there own pregnancy.

I didnt like when they asked me how much weight I had gained, but people do that to pregnant women all the time.

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

So yesterday I had an appointment. The baby measures 12 inches long and weighs 3 pounds. The baby is also quite the mover. During the ultrasound the baby kicked and squirmed through the whole thing. I think the baby is going to be a boy because of how active the baby is. But my husband thinks the baby will be a girl because of how much morning sickness I've had. Isn't that the saying the more morning sickness you have the more of a possibility the baby will be a girl. I don't believe in this saying though I think the baby will be what the baby will be.

So yesterday I had an appointment. It measures 12 inches long and weighs 3 pounds. It is also quite the mover. During the ultrasound it kicked and squirmed through the whole thing. I think it is going to be a boy because of how active it is. But my husband thinks it will be a girl because of how much morning sickness I've had. Isn't that the saying the more morning sickness you have the more of a possibility it will be a girl. I don't believe in this saying though I think it will be what it will be.

"It" /ɪt/ is a third-person, singular neuter pronoun (subjective case and objective case) in Modern English.

I don't think when anyone uses the word "it" they are implying "the baby" is a creature. They just don't know whether "the baby" is a boy or girl. I think personally I'd rather hear it then the baby all the time. I also am not a fan for the cutesie nicknames like peanut, bean...etc etc.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

i am sure some where some one is bothered by calling "it" "the baby"! j/k i know others that were annoyed by "it". truly too many tramatic and drama type things have happened in my life to worry about the words or wording others choose to use.

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B.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Nope. Doesn't bother me at all. I so much don't care, that I can't even remember if I called my unborn baby "it" before we knew the sex.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

"It" when it's just being used to refer to a baby with unknown gender doesn't bother me. "It" when the child is born makes me cringe. That indicates they don't see the child as a person. I do refer to DD as "kiddo" or "the little one" and was "Junior" before she was born.

Bestie. ARRRGGH! That drives me up a wall. How hard is it to say "Best Friend"? I'm not a fan of BFF, either, but something about "bestie" is so juvenile.

I agree. I'll say that DH is "watching" DD or DD is "with her dad" but not "babysitting". That's when SIL comes over and we go OUT.

"Preggo" makes me think of spaghetti sauce. Are gestating the Flying Spaghetti Monster? ;)

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C.F.

answers from Portland on

Sorry ITS an embryo or a fetus until IT is viable...
That is how I feel and my daughter was "the fetus" or "it" until I found out her sex.
Then we just called her by the name we had picked.
But its not a baby until it is viable to live on its own outside the hosts womb, around the time it has a gender, both around 24 to 28 weeks.

Until then it is a cluster of cells living off of a host and would die with out that host, kinda like a parasite.
Sorry, just what I believe.

ETA after I saw others listing pet peeves. Mine are racists, bigots, narrow minded and judgmental people, and people who jump to conclusions with out all the facts.

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

i agree with 3kidsin3years...it drives me NUTS that my husband and his parents both say he's "babysitting" when he's watching the kids. Which is quite often. Maybe it's because his dad was never left alone with the kids until they were teenagers haha

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Yes, this drives me nuts too. I have never referred to *any* unborn child as IT. Instead, I'll say baby, bump, babe, munchkin, etc. I mean, how hard is it to say "the baby" instead of "it" ??

One thing that drives me bananas is how my MIL adds a hard "A" sound to anything that ends in "y" - like, battery becomes batterAY; celery becomes celerAY........anyways..... :o)

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I'm also pregnant, so I deal with this too... but I totally don't care if people call the baby "it." Of course, now we know "it's" a girl, so most people say "she" but "it" didn't bother me in the least... I can't stand when people use stupid, cheesy nicknames for the baby in utero. THAT drives me nuts and makes me want to vomit. Just my humble opinion, of course.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

So that's another good reason for not telling anyone until later in the pregnancy. We did not tell anyone until I was 20 weeks along, by then we knew 'it' was a boy. Whom we referred to as Boutros, Boutros - drove my folks nuts. I think they thought we were actually considering it as a name. I agree that calling a fetus food names is just bizarre.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I know what you're saying, but in the real world....not THAT big of a deal to me...

If you really feel the need to express your disgust--by all means do so.
But be prepared for the reaction!

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

Calling an unborn baby it does not bother me. Things that do bother me:

Irregardless....I hate that.

One that I see on here often is the improper use of advise. People are asking for advice and yet they persist with "Any advise is appreciated..."

I dislike text speak. When I hear people say OMFG, Paula, I LOLed so hard I have to wonder why said person can't seem to just say the words.

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Meh...it doesn't bother me either way. I have other pet peeves. Like people who interrupt or talk with food in their mouth or chew with their mouths open. ARGH!

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A.F.

answers from Houston on

My pet peeve was when people asked me if my daughter was a "good baby." What baby can be bad?

She wasn't an easy baby, which is what I knew they meant - but I hated the terminology "good baby." It implied that she was bad - which no baby can be.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have never referred to any of my unborn children as it. Not quite as upset about it as you are mind you. I also didn't much care for calling them the baby. That is why every one of my kids has a nickname from before they were born, that is what I called them, :)

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M.T.

answers from New York on

What bugged me when I had babies, who were already born, was when people in the family would refer to them as, "The baby." "Is the baby sleeping?" "How is the baby?" "Can the baby have some mashed potatoes?" They had names. I couldn't figure out why people wouldn't refer to a baby by their name. I'm sure many people refer to babies as, "The baby," but it just annoyed the heck out of me.

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E.J.

answers from Lincoln on

I don't mind using it when the gender isn't known...

My pet peeves are people who make everything baby talk and come up w/all these weird names for their kids. Like nookie for blanket or something like that. Just teach the kids the words!

Another pet peeve is when you see an older child with a binki in their mouth so much that they are talking with it in their mouth.

I agree w/moms that I think calling your friend "bestie" sounds like you're stuck in middle school.

I've said this pet peeve before, but people who are obsessed with the internet, fb, etc and will be texting/on fb while having a conversation with you! Rude!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Calling an unborn baby "it" does seem a little distant and impersonal, but at least it's understandable to me because "it's" more practical than repeating "the baby" in every sentence. In written language, that would be considered awkward. In spoken language, it can be equally awkward, to the speaker if not the listener. But I can understand that you feel jarred when you to hear your precious life being referred to as "it."

What I find very difficult is some of the warlike language that's popular among moms: "Pick your battles," "Stick to your guns." My teeth grate – these are often tiny babies – who are being seen as little enemies?

Nearly as violent to me are phrases like "Nip it in the bud (or sometimes butt)," or calling their own or other mother's children brats, little monsters, spoiled rotten, etc. Parents who call their children such things apparently don't understand the term "self-fulfilling prophecy." Many (not all) kids will become what their parents tell them they are.

Those children may have some less-than-endearing behaviors, but they are only doing what they have learned works. They are too young to see the error of their ways, but they have a whole childhood, we can only hope, to learn that other behaviors will work better.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Your not alone. It really bothers me too. I can't stand it when people call my child --It or even parasite/monster etc. They are trying to be cute-but they are soooo irritating and it makes me mad when I hear that. I always correct and say Excuse me, but my baby is our Little one or whatever the current nickname-ex. bubbles,sweetie etc. I totally agree with you!!!

M

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T.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I hate it when any living creature is called 'it'... esp. bugs me when people refer to my cats as 'it'. With both my pregnancies I found out the gender but before I knew I referred to the baby as 'heeshee' or just 'baby' and didn't use any pronoun

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

Well then I am sure you would hate the name we used - Nacho. And we did not find out the gender so she was a nacho for 9 months.

My pet peeve is when people get annoyed at the things I say/do when they have no effect on that person whatsoever.

I also get annoyed with all the products out there that say "I'm The Princess", "Diva", "Spoiled Rotten", etc. . . Those are not the kind of person I want my children growing up to be. One lady handing out candy at the trunk or treat we went to commented that, "Oh, aren't you a little diva!" (She was dressed in a tutu and sparkly shirt - didn't scream diva to me.) And of course she has now been referring to herself as a diva ever since. Try explaining to a 2 year old why that is not something to aspire to.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

Not really but I try to say "baby" instead of "it." I think I said "it" when I was younger then started saying "he" but confused people. I finally started saying "if baby cooperates" because that is how my doctors referred to "it." =D

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Nicole P. do you do stand up comic? Loved your answer.

Some people just do not think about what they call your baby. I think only
someone who has been pregnant might think about what they call the baby.
We all have our pet peeves.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Calling exes a derogatory "Ex".

Calling husbands or wives "the wife" or "the husband".
I knew one girl who called her husband "The Colonel", and it was not in a loving, cutesy way.

Calling boys "son". As in "Son, get over here."

People have names, I expect others to use them, exept online. I do not use people's names online.

And Amen 3kids. Fathers do not babysit.

When people post and do not use capitals, especially for the pronoun I. When they use text words, ur-this is a city in ancient Mesopotamia, uncapitalized. I still have to think twice to remember that in today's talk it means your.

D.M.

answers from Rapid City on

I have to agree with you on this one! When we let people know we were having a boy someone posted online "oh I loved your posting on "It's a boy!" Nope never said "it's and ever would. I said "our baby is a boy. Fetus to me sounds so sound so uncaring and rude to me....Baby sounds much better and that's what they are....even most doctors say baby. (Not fetus.)

S.T.

answers from Nashville on

since I didn't find out what gender my daughter was until I was 8 months (the little darling would not cooperate), she was "Junior"! My little guy was "baby bear". I have never once referred to either of my children as "it". This is also a slight pet peeve of mine.

M.M.

answers from Tucson on

My neighbor the dad sent me a text saying it was born. lol... I was pretty hung up on the fact that he said it too.

★.O.

answers from Tampa on

I get annoyed with fetus being called an "it", "bean" or "sprout".

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It doesn't bother me.
People just don't know how to deal with gender ambiguity.
I tend to lean towards 'the child' rather than 'the baby'
What is it about 'it' that bothers you so?
You don't feel it's a term of endearment?
I wouldn't read that much into it when people are at a loss for a better term and are not comfortable with alternatives you suggest.
You should read a book by L Frank Baum 'John Dough and the Cherub'.
Throughout the entire book he never gives away the gender of Chick the Cherub.

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