The "Always Changing" Program at School for Girls?

Updated on February 04, 2011
M.D. asks from Rockport, TX
15 answers

Is anyone familiar with this program? They are planning to show the movie at my daughters 4th & 5th grade school tomorrow- we have the option to opt out. Obviously it is about puberty and the physical and emotional changes that go along with it. I am going to do some research online about it but was just wondering if anyone had any first hand experience. She is 9 and we have discussed puberty and some of the changes but did not go into alot of detail. My daughter is shy and even gets embarrased talking to me about these things. She just says "I know, I know" and tries to hurry me along. I wonder if it would benefit her from watching it as a group and not being "singled out" on the conversation. What are your thoughts about these films in school. I remember watching one when I was in school, but I thought most schools did away with this.

Let me know what you think?

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answers from New York on

I think it's necessary information they are giving her, just the basics. Maybe it's all stuff you have already talked to her about. But, in the school setting among her girl peers maybe she will get something more out of it then she did when she was embarrassed in front of her mother. I am all for it.

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answers from Jackson on

I think her being there with her girl friends and not being alone would help her see this is a normal thing she will have to go through. It was never easy for me to talk to my mom about this stuff but seeing it and maybe joking " can you belive that movie" with her friends may help her. Even may ask you about something. I say let her go.

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answers from Kansas City on

I think it would be beneficial! From my experience young girls think they know about their bodies, puberty, how it all works, but they usually don't! ;) It's normal for her to be pretty embarrased talking to you about it, but with this forum she can absorb the information she needs and all her friends will be getting the same information which is also helpful! I'd let her watch it and maybe when she comes home, see if she wants to talk about it, but don't worry if she doesn't.

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answers from Eau Claire on

I believe it is beneficial for them!! It was always easier for me to talk to someone other than my mom at that age (about that topic). I'm not sure why... Also some of the other kids may even have the same kind of questions your daughter is embarrassed to ask you about so she will realize she's not the only one!

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answers from Austin on

All education is beneficial.

If they were offering advanced sciences, I bet you would not have to see a video or presentation about it.. You would be the first to sign up.

Guess what, this is "advanced female anatomy", of course she should be a part of it.

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answers from Dallas on

She definetly needs to watch it. Don't you remeber going through that age? We thought we knew about it and we thought we understood it, but when did you actually understand it? Not to mention the fact that being singled out not to watch it could have negative social effects.

It wouldn't be a bad idea to go out and find a book for her that also addresses questions she may have. You can just leave it in her room and don't mention it to her. She is at a stage where she is uncomfortable confiding in Mom. If you ask her if she would like the book she will tell you no. Just buy it and leave it there for her. Since she is embarrased by it, do not push her and make her uncomfortable.

When she gets home after school ask her how her day went. If she isn't completely squemish ask her about. Just don't push.

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answers from Eugene on

If she won't listen to you tell her about it. Then she is the type of girl that should listen to this at school. Ask her if she has any questions for you before and after watching it.

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answers from Dover on

I am not familiar with the program but I see no reason to opt out. Necessary information is shared. Let her see it.

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answers from Phoenix on

Let her watch it, then discuss it with her. American Girl has a great line of books for girls, including "The Care and Keeping of You". I would encourage you to continue discussing things with her, even if she is trying to hurry you along. My oldest is 12 1/2, we have always had open conversations together. I usually let her lead, but have brought up subjects like sex and drugs with her. As a result, she comes to me for advice and isn't afraid to tell me about things she sees and hears at school. When her friends are over she speaks openly is front of me about issues and they have learned it's okay to do so as well. Of course conversations have to be appropriate in language and content. It is so important to be able to talk, because they are faced with so many issues in the next several years and they need to know that no subject is too embarrassing to talk about with you. Make no mistake, some times you are mortified on the inside, but on the out side you need to appear relaxed.

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answers from Houston on

"All education is beneficial. " This is absolutely not true! Some education, given in the wrong way or at the wrong time, can be very harmful!

I wouldn't let her see it without seeing it first, and then decide if it's appropriate.

I knew all about sex and my changing body before my mom had the 'talk' when I was in fourth grade. But I learned it from friends, which was not a good way to learn. In fact, they had learned from their parents and had a book with various positions/ect. So I had WAY TOO MUCH information.

This can happen, does happen often. I've talked to public schooled adults who say they knew everything in kindergarten thanks to their friends and classmates! So it's a good thing you ARE having these conversations now, but I wouldn't want her to see something like that without seeing it first. At the very least, watch it soon after she does so you know what was said and can discuss it.

My kids surprise me sometimes by bringing something up a long time after it happened and I don't really know what actually occurred.

I have FOUR girls, so I get to have these talks a lot. In my situation, birth/procreation is my profession so my girls hear about it all the time. They've seen births on film more times then I could count. So hopefully they will feel comfortable asking me questions.


answers from San Antonio on

My daughter watched the video but we had already talked about it. It really depends on your relationship with your daughter and how you communicate. WE TALK ALOT! BUT my daughter initiates most of it, and I answer as best I can on her level. By the time they were going to show the video at school she knew the majority of what they were going to talk about in the video. She came home that day and we discussed the things in the video that were new to her. She saw the video in 5th grade but she started in 7th grade. She was very prepared as far as knowledge but like the rest of us think it sucks to have to through it every month!! That news was a shocker, she thought it was a one time thing!
Good luck!!!



answers from Houston on

All the girls in 4th grade watch it or one similar (I really don't remember what the specific title was - it was 7 years ago) in the Conroe ISD. At our elementary school the moms were all encouraged to watch at the same time - in the same room!!!! It was nice that both watched all the information and then could discuss it!!



answers from Austin on

I know it would've helped me a great deal if my mom had been more open to discuss puberty & the changes that would come but she didn't. All we knew is that grown women & teen girls had 'boobs' & that was it, that was all we knew so I commend you for taking that step to open & honest with your daughter & I think it'll be helpful for her to watch the film although I'm sure she, like many other girls, will feel a bit self-conscience or embarrassed. She'll at least have the extra information the film may provide. We had either the same film or similar...same topic...when I was in 5th grade. The boys went to one room while we watched the film. Don't know if the boys had anything similar & we had to watch it, I don't remember us having an option to opt plus the film was animated...very cartoonish & it really made us giggle & feel embarrassed abt watching it. I was thinking 'why' are they showing this at school! My mother NEVER had 'the talk' with me, I don't know if she had 'the talk' w/my older sister but I know she never did w/me. Any time I asked about such things, mom just said "Well WE don't talk about that. That's not nice to talk about". I know it would've helped me a great deal if my mom had been more open to discuss puberty & the changes that would come but she didn't so the film at least made us aware of what is going to happen eventually & if it weren't for that, I probably would've ended up like Carrie in the movie 'Carrie'. Hope this helps, good luck!



answers from Austin on

I personally would be okay with it. If she's embarrassed discussing this with you, she might feel more comfortable watching it at school. I remember watching these videos when I was a kid and all of us girls would basically make fun of it (i.e. it was still embarrassing at school). However, I was secretly glad to have seen it because it was the best way I learned. I didn't want to discuss it with my mom either. Much more embarrassing than the video.

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