"That Sucks"....

I just explained to my daughter that some words/phrases are grown up things to say and kids shouldn't say them and neither should some grown ups, that some kids do but we don't in this family because it's not nice. I had to remind her several times that I don't want to hear her say 'that' again but it worked.

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My mother taught me the most important thing is to "know your audience." She never told us we couldn't swear, but we needed to know in front of whom swearing was unacceptable! This is a lesson that may be a bit too complicated for a 4-year-old, though. I would not get angry with him or scold him - every time he says it, just substitute something else. When he is a little older, you can explain that while it might be acceptable to talk that way in front of his friends, it isn't okay in front of adults, or say, girls he is interested in. In my experience, telling a teenager not to swear is just one more way to make yourself obsolete. But kids of all ages need to know that that sort of language is not appropriate in polite company. Good luck.

I don't think you're being silly but I probably wouldn't stress too much about it. I have 3 and 4 yr old boys that pick up phrases that I don't care for from older cousins, etc and I always address it when I hear them say something I don't like. I usually tell them something along the lines of "that's not a nice thing to say" or "we don't use words like that." I wouldn't let it go completely because you are his mom and you should definitely be correcting him if he's speaking in a way that you don't think is appropriate. Just be careful not to make too big a deal of it, otherwise he might start to use the word/phrase as a way to get under your skin. Best of luck! :)

We all have our triggers. In fact, I say that a lot and I was just thinking that I don't really want to hear it come out of my 2 year olds mouth so maybe I should stop! ;) I don't think you should harp on it but I think it's okay to redirect him into saying another phrase when you hear him. When I was a kid my parents hated the word "butt" so we never said it....we had to say bottom or whatever. It's kinda silly, but it's your house and I dont' think it's weird. I definitely have my things that I don't want my kids to say, so I say try your hardest to get the "appropriate" things to come out of his mouth! :)

Unfortunatly the phrase that sucks is everywhere. The next time he says that, ask him what it means? There are worse things he could be saying, but in my opinion a good parent does not want to hear that come out of their child's mouth. My husband hates that phrase. There is nothing wrong with correcting him, I mean that's what parents do, that's are job. It sounds like you have a wonderful little boy, who hears a phrase he does not understand. I run a home daycare and you would be surprised the music that is blaring in the car with their children in the car, bad language, sexual lyrics, this world has lost it's innocents where our children are concerned. Just earlier today, 2 different moms wrote in about their sons, touching themselves one child called it his private time, and in parents said it's OK to go in your room for private time. Children masterbatting and parents are OK with this, no wonder children talk the way they do. I think you are on the right track with your son, and it sounds like you and your husband are setting a great example for him. J.

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Unfortunatly the phrase that sucks is everywhere. The next time he says that, ask him what it means? There are worse things he could be saying, but in my opinion a good parent does not want to hear that come out of their child's mouth. My husband hates that phrase. There is nothing wrong with correcting him, I mean that's what parents do, that's are job. It sounds like you have a wonderful little boy, who hears a phrase he does not understand. I run a home daycare and you would be surprised the music that is blaring in the car with their children in the car, bad language, sexual lyrics, this world has lost it's innocents where our children are concerned. Just earlier today, 2 different moms wrote in about their sons, touching themselves one child called it his private time, and in parents said it's OK to go in your room for private time. Children masterbatting and parents are OK with this, no wonder children talk the way they do. I think you are on the right track with your son, and it sounds like you and your husband are setting a great example for him. J.

I wouldn't harp on it but stick with what you are already doing, giving a look and rephrasing their statement, "Did you mean to say "Rats" or "That stinks" or "What a bummer""?

I am dealing with the boys finding that burping or farting in inappropriate situations is suddenly either hysterically funny or just plain normal. I think it is neither but have tried to follow my husbands advice to redirect them gently. I guess he is right. Getting all riled up about gassy boys is 99% wasted emotion = )

I agree that there are much worse things. But I think it's maybe a great idea to teach him that we only use statements like that in really bad situations. The tire blowing out on the highway and missing Chuckee Cheese while waiting for a tow truck would be a good example. But forgetting something downstairs doesn't even rise to a bummer statement.

I think it's AWESOME that you and your family manage to be polite all the time and never swear. Most of us need some words we can use when we are really upset or disgusted. I just hate to hear these words or phrases being watered down to everyday speech. You might not want to teach your son there is ever an appropriate time to express such frustration. I just think extreme anger and frustration is a given in this life and I personally need to express it somehow.

If you don't like it, then just keep correcting him. It's very commonly said these days, so he might slip, but you have a right to omit certain phrases from your home, if they bug you. It doesn't bother me personally, but I'm not you. Different things bother me.

Hi
Unfortunately it's quite a battle filtering the influences from friends. I have boys 8, 5 and 3 years old. My pat answer is "every family/parent/mommy has different rules and our rules don't include (using that word)". It's simple straight forward and doesn't say anything negative about the source of the behavior. I thnk letting your son know it's not acceptable to you is laying the ground work for more serious things to come. I wouldn't make to big of a deal (disciplin or getting angry) about it, just be repetitive with the idea that your family doesn't use that phrase.
Good Luck.

It's the beginning of a battle that will go on with your son the rest of his childhood, but if you don't want him to say that you need to continue to assert your wishes on him. It's your house, he's your kid, allow what you want to allow. I don't want my kids saying that either.

-M

'That sucks' is not allowed at our house either. I think subbing the right words is a good idea. I have been known to throw out a few 'jimminy christmas' 's at times, a couple of 'crud-ola's and 'dadgummit's too!

As for the actual words, and the 'but so and so is allowed to (fill in the blank).......'... my comeback is always the same: I am not Friend's mom, and I am telling you in our house, that doesn't fly for XYZ. Period.

When I was new to the family, I used to say this all the time in front of my nieces and nephews. I was asked by my husband not to and had actually never realized it was a reference to oral sex! I was so embarrassed that I had always seen this as such a kosher expression when it wasn't. I'd put the kibosh on it. Asking around I found that many people like me, had assumed this was not a real curse word. Maybe you should clue in your son's friend's mom while you're at it.

I agree with AC for the most part, but I think that 4yo IS old enough to learn it.

I may sound like a weirdo when I say this, but I believe in controlled and explained exposure to all things in life in order to teach children responsible use (except for pre-marital sex, but that's a religious issue and I do still believe in educating them about it, just not allowing them to experience it, lol!).

So basically, I swear in front of my children (picked up that bad habit in the Navy and I've toned it down a LOT since the pre-baby days). They know all of the bad words, what they mean and how they are used. They also know that they will be allowed to swear as much as they want when they are 18yo, but for now they are children and are not allowed to swear since they have to be adults to decide when it's inappropriate. This is the rule. I'm sure my oldest son's 18th b-day is going to be a doozy! lol! :) However, my older son is old enough to understand more, so now he knows that it's not a good idea to swear at a job interview or at work, in front of his girlfriend's parents (some day!), in church, around people that have children with them etc... And he knows why it's not a good idea and knows how it can damage the image of himself that he wishes projected to the world.

Oh and I also teach my children responsible knife and gun use beginning at age 7. My son is now 8, has been very responsible with his BB gun for over a year and has been told that he has earned a .22. He will get his new rifle sometime this summer. They should have exposure to these things from an early age in order to be practiced with the safe handling techniques by the time they reach adulthood. He is always supervised with his gun, always wears eye protection, always points the barrel at the ground, always unloads before storage and won't handle one of the bigger guns we have around the house, even with the trigger locks on, without one of us opening the chamber, removing the clip and handing it to him for inspection. He has demonstrated with a friend's .22 that he's capable of handling the "kick" and can handle the ammo responsibly. I'd say he's already more responsible with guns than many adult males I could find news articles about.

Again, the whole thing goes back to teaching responsible use. I DON'T think we should be sheltering our children from life. All that accomplishes is that they get sent out into the world completely clueless and innocent to get eaten alive.

Sorry to rant, but I hope you were able to discipher my point anyways. :)

I think it's too silly to fret over. I'm sure you'll hear much worse from him in the coming years! Go ahead and tell him whenever he says it that you don't want to hear it again, or he'll have time out, but I wouldn't worry about it beyond that.

HI Tia,
I have a similar situation, and my daughter is also a very polite little girl. I have tried VERY hard to be on top of my daughters thank you's and please's. And fortunately, she took to it very well.
Her older cousins says alot of things that they shouldn't. (their mother and father have HUGE potty mouths) Their son (who is the same age as my daughter) says curse words all the time and my SIL has been talked to by his school a few times.
I always tell my daughter that they are grown up words and if she hears her cousins say them, you tell them that it is not ok to say grown up words. That's really all you can do, instill good behavior, teach right from wrong, and hope for the best. Sounds like you have a wonderful little boy and your husband is right. I'm sure there will be more times in the future that you will hear things out of his mouth that you don't like. You just have to talk to them and let them know the proper things. But, yes, I would be annoyed as well. Hearing my SIL and BIL talk makes me cringe when my little one is around. But, that's who they are and as long as my daughter is not effected, I could care less what goes on in their family. Good luck!!