Thank You to Birthday Party

Updated on June 25, 2008
J.B. asks from Madison, CT
46 answers

My child's birthday party was a month ago. I am in the midst of many personal issues and have yet to send thank you's!!! Should I still send them now or just forget it? This year my child received a thank you from a classmate over a month later and we had totally forgotten about the party and never thought twice about not getting a thank you card so it was a surprise. What do you think?

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone!! I had the thank you on my computer but since my printer has been broken I have decided to email it to a professional printer and put it on a nicer card-stock than I could do at home. I agree that people will remember we sent a thank you - especially since it's late! Thanks so much for your feedback - I really felt I should send one out - guess we should go with our instincts!! :)

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D.C.

answers from Utica on

Late is better than never. Thank you notes are always appreciated by the receiver. My husband is always interested in seeing if a thank you note is sent. I actually talked to a bride - months after the wedding, and asked her to send a thank you note to my husband and her response was "If I send you a thank you note than I have to send them to everyone". I suggested that she might consider sending out a few at a time, needless to say no thank you note was ever received.

D.

I'm 60 years old, been married to the same man for 38 years and have 2 grown sons.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

A month is ok-you're a busy Mom and much better later than never- most I would hope will understand. A month is very reasonable tho'!

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W.K.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

moms with kids get busy and other moms undersatnd that, but it is never too late to say thank you. I would send that cards.

W. K

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M.G.

answers from New York on

It's a nice gesture to thank your guests, regardless of how late they go out. They'll remember that when the next party comes around. The fastest way is to send e-cards, then mail out remainders.
Good luck.

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K.N.

answers from New York on

It's never too late to thank people for sharing a special day. You can have picture cards printed with a stock "thank you", but you should definitely at least handwrite their names and sign it by hand. There's no point in sending a thank you if you're not putting a personal touch on it.

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J.N.

answers from Albany on

always send thank you cards. better yet, if your child's old enough, make him/her help (in whatever capacity he can). establish that habit early, and help teach your child about being polite and appreciative when people do things for him/her.

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W.H.

answers from New York on

I agree that it is never too late, no matter what the occasion. I personally would rather have a late thank you than none at all. I like to know that the reciever of the gift knows that we are the ones who gave the gift. It's also a good habit to teach your children. Good manners and etiquette begin in the home.
How old is your child? Maybe he/she can help w/ the thank yous?

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K.R.

answers from Rochester on

It's never too late. You really should send them. What about a fun thank you email with a picture at the party and bcc in everyone.

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P.C.

answers from New York on

It is never too late to send a thank you. It doesn't have to be long and formal!! You don't say how old your child is, but even a 4-yr. old can help put on stamps and seal the envelopes. Involve your child in this now, and you will be teaching him/her an important life skill. As your child gets older, he/she can do more of this -- eventually all of it. My children were always required to do this, even if one year it was a color-copied form with blanks to fill in to personalize it a bit. We're all busy, but we should never be too busy to teach our children common courtesies.

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C.R.

answers from New York on

You should DEFINITELY send thank-you's. It is not appropiate to not thank your guests for coming to celebrate with you and your child and not to mention the gift that they gave. We are all busy with things but you need to find a few minutes each night just to write even a few thank-you's. Before you know it, you will be finished. Better late than never!

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S.S.

answers from New York on

First of all, how old is your child? If they can at least write their name, you can either get or print generic "thank you" notes that say "Dear _____, Thank you for the ___________ I have really been enjoying playing with it!
Your friend,
_____________________"

It's better than nothing, and it IS a good lesson that your child needs to learn - it's important to be thankful.

Good luck!!

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R.S.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

Amen! So happy to hear I'm not the only one. I was over 1 year late sending out thank yous from gifts we received when my twin daughters were born. I felt guilty at first but then I thought, people give gifts because it feels good to them. They're not doing it because they're looking for a response ... or at least it shouldn't be their motivation. Anyone with children knows it's not easy balancing everything. I would recommend still sending out thank yous, but don't sweat how long it takes you. Even though your child may not be aware of it yet, it's a good precedent to set to acknowledge someone's thought and generosity.

All the best!
R.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

J.,
I say skip the thank you's it was a CHILD's birthday party not a wedding. I think people are getting way out of hand with this. I am assuming these were close family and friends at your child's party and I am sure that as you gave out the goody bags you said "bye and thank you for coming" if that is not enough for some people then you know not to invite them next year ( just kidding about that part) Good Luck

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M.G.

answers from New York on

It is never to late to say thank you.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I've read a few of the responses. We're all guilty of not sending out a thank you note here and there, however, that doesn't make it right. Yes, you should send thank yous, and your child should help you.

Of course most people won't complain if they don't get a thank you; they won't be offended either. However, sending a thank you note is the correct, polite thing to do.

Note: attaching a thank you card to a favor, does NOT take the place of sending a proper thank you card.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Yes, you should. Even an e-mail is better than nothing!

In the future, consider taking a photo and making a photo card out of it saying thank you for coming to my party and attach them to the favors!!

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M.Z.

answers from New York on

It's never too late to send a thank you and it is always well received no matter how late.

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

Absolutely send them out. I know life gets busy, I had 3 kids in 4 years, but manners are manners, and in this day in age, people forget etiquette. It's a great thing to do with your child to teach them gratitude...if s/he is old enough they can decorate the thank you's, or sign them. I actually try to write them out the night of the party, so I remember everything fresh...it doesn't always work like that, but the longer it takes to do them, the longer you'll dread it and more you'll forget!

I'm all for them.
J.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

It is never too late to write a thank you note. Most people will appreciate the gesture. they can be short and sweet. Can someone else help you get them done?

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D.

answers from New York on

According to Miss Manners, it is appropriate for someone to give you a gift for up to a year after the event.
And in return, you have up to a year to get the thank you's out. I wouldn't wait that long, but I'd still do them.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

Better late than never. Send them out. A month is fine on sending out thank you's.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

Yes, definitely send a thank you.

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T.D.

answers from New York on

Definitely send them late. And try to include your child if possible. Believe me, I feel your pain but the longer you wait the tougher it will get! People understand.
Good luck!

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C.O.

answers from New York on

How rude! People went to the trouble, time and expense to give your child a present. A thank you note is very much needed. People do notice that they never received one. Just sit down and write them out and have your child participate too.

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C.B.

answers from Buffalo on

Let it go! Forget the thank you's! there is always next year!

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C.K.

answers from New York on

Yes,J., send the notes. Have your child draw a picture on the card. People will really appreciate it. Here is a tip: When writing out invitations, address thank you cards at the same time. You can even use your computer to make labels. Stamp the invitations and thank yous at the same time. After the party just add a quick note about the special gift and put them in your mailbox. I once gave that idea to a bride and she loved it. It sure saves work and makes everyone happy. ( I knew another bride who NEVER sent thank you notes after a wedding. How impolite and sad. Every gift giver felt unappreciated.)
I am the mother of 5 grown children and 5 grandchildren, 28 years old down to 4 years old.
Many happy birthday parties.
C.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

J.:

Send the thank you's- it is never too late! Don't apologize for the delay, just a quick thank you mentioning the gift and how your child is enjoying it.

I never think twice if I do not get one, but I always think 'Wow, we got a thank you' when we do get one.

Love the tip about writing the thank you addresses at the same time as the invites.

Wishing you easier times!

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A.G.

answers from New York on

Hi J.!! It absolutely amazes me at all the responses saying you have to send them out. I completely disagree and do not feel it is necessary, especially if they were thanked for their gift at the party. I agreed with Christine H. and sent them out for my son's first birthday, but until he is old enough to write them out himself, its just really not necessary. They rarely did this back in the day and your thanking them at the party. It's just a waste of trees and landfill space!!! Just one more thing to throw in the garbage. People need to worry more about being kind to each other and living a prosperous life, not creating drama that you have to send out thank-you cards. This is NOT a wedding or a shower, which i feel IS appropriate to send a thank-you. I don't even think twice when i don't receive a thank-you from a child's birthday party, i am more surprised that someone had the time when i do receive one!! Just relax and don't worry about it, if someone if offended by it, then they just have to deal with their personal issue. There is no reason to feel guilty, smile and move on to enjoy the important things in your life! Have a beautiful day!!!! -A.

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E.E.

answers from New York on

I would still send them. This is a great opportunity to teach about being thankful. If your child is old enough to write them, have him/her do it themselves. If not, they can still participate with minimal work from you.
The easiest thing is to make a thank-you note on the computer, just on regular 8 1/2 x 11 paper. Type a simple message at the very bottom of the page and print up a bunch of copies. Something like: Thank you for coming to my party and for the great gift. I had a lot of fun! Love, (child's name)
Then have the child draw a picture of the gift they were given on each page. That way each thank-you note is personalized and it requires less work from you and keeps the child occupied with a fun little project.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

Send the note, who cares if it is late...people always want to be appreciated.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

It is never to late to send a thank you note! I would send them, even if it was a month from now.

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T.O.

answers from New York on

You must send thank you notes no matter how late. If it's too much of a burden to write them then send emails to everyone.

T.

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B.R.

answers from New York on

I hate sending thank you cards. I would try to send 2-5 a day rather than write them all at once. Within a week you'll be rid of the burden.

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C.H.

answers from New York on

I have three children and I do not send thank you's out for their birthdays unless the gift is sent to them. I sent them out for their first birthday but not the others. when they open the gifts at their party I have them thank everyone then and no one complains that they didn;t receive a thank you note. If yu really want to send a thank you and your child is young enough to make it look cute and not babyish, I would suggest getting a cute picture of your child from the party and having thank you picture cards printed (like the christmas ones). You could use Shutterfly or Snapfish and pick them up a your local CVS or Walgreens. they are not expensive and they give people something to put on the fridge. You can simply have printed on them: THANK YOU FOR SHARING MY SPECIAL DAY! I plan on doing this for my daughter 1st birthday in 2 weeks and I have also received a few of them!!

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

J.,

If you have 2 months after you get married, I think you are given the same kind of grace once you have a kid. :)

A week is perfect. I haven't achieved perfection in my life yet.

2 weeks is great!

4 weeks is pretty good.

2 months is par

3 months is okay, but pushing it beyond that is getting rather close to the next birthday right? (although, I have to say I was still sending out Christmas cards - no one cared though, because they got DS's picture).

M.

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M.G.

answers from New York on

I say send the thank you's -- I feel it is disrespectful not to. Better late then never.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I say it's never too late and always a good idea. Print them off of the computer and just add the names after "Dear" and "Love." Print off address labels. Or do postcard ones, one piece only and cheaper postage. I think it's important for kids to learn about acknowledging gifts

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T.G.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
NEVER SKIP a 'Thank You' for any kind of gift or invite, no matter how long it takes to get it out. (Most parents understand how hectic parent life is...) Although, some people think it's ok to skip such 'thank you's' it's really in bad taste and all who were taugh formal manners (and most who were taugh 'causual' manners) WILL NOTICE that no 'Thank you' was sent. Many people even stop giving gifts, inviting, or doing special things when simple 'thank yous' are over-looked. It's also an important thing to begin showing your children as early as possible the importance of (seemingly) small things like that and have them help you (even if they draw with crayon - it's really appreciated). It really does make a difference AND people notice. (thay may not SAY anything, but believe me, they notice!).
Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from New York on

Send them. I am still waiting for a thank you from a wedding shower gift from two months ago...

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S.C.

answers from New York on

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who is late on Thank You's! Last year some of my baby shower guests were just receiving a thank you from me on the day my son was born (2 months after the shower). My friend has a good suggestion for busy moms (aren't we all?) She picks out a cute photo or 2 from the birthday, then makes the thank you cards on a website (shutterfly, kodakgallery, snapfish, etc). Type in a generic message, then once you get them you only have to address the envelopes, stamp them and mail them! Easy, right? They can get to be a bit pricey, but sometimes it's worth the money if you don't have time to write out all those cards! Best of luck to you - and don't stress too much... anyone who is a mom will understand if they receive a thank you a bit late!

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K.C.

answers from Hartford on

Yes - send them. It's important for your child to understand the importance of being thankful - he/she should be involved in the "writing" of the thank yous: writing a message, drawing a picture, adding a painted hand/thumb print, adding stickers, a lip stick kiss --- whatever he/she is able to do.

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J.T.

answers from Buffalo on

yes! def send!!!!! i always love getting thank yous in the mail!

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K.K.

answers from New York on

Yes, please send out thank yous. It is becoming a lost art and it's a shame that more ppl don't send thank you cards.

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A.S.

answers from New York on

You should definitely send out the invitations, even a month late. It can also be a good lesson for your child - the importance of saying thank you. If they are old enough, you can have him fill out the cards.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

Ediquitte for thank yous...is if you said thank you at the birthday party when you received the gift then you don't have to send a thank you card...it wasn't a wedding or confirmation...thank you's are nice to get but if you've run out of time that's okay. I know my kids like to receive thank yous...the mail factor and it makes them feel good but if you can't it's okay...one thing I would like to add, if you opened the gifts during the party you are safe, if you waited until after(and the other children didn't see their gifts enjoyed/appreciated)...I'd send a thank you.

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N.D.

answers from Albany on

Hey J.,
I just saw this post and was thinking that maybe instead of thank you cards you could send, Have a Nice Day Cards or He is STILL talking about how Special you made his day Cards? I used to struggle with sending the basice birthday card but I found a website that really helped me with it and I use it all the time! It is called http://minutegreetings.com . I decided to start a business with it because it helped me so much. You can send a free card to someone you have been thinking of on me and let me know what you think! If you have any questions, just let me know! Take care! N. DeJesus ###-###-####

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