Temper Tantrums - Collinsville,IL

Updated on September 02, 2009
C.H. asks from Collinsville, IL
11 answers

My son will be 18 months on Sept 18. He is super active, a typical boy and a good boy. But when he gets mad or upset his first emotion is to throw something or push something over. I'm assuming this is just a phase and a way for him to tell me he's upset. He isn't talking very well yet. I tell him we don't throw... and try to get his mind on something else. Will this pass?
Thanks ladies!

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answers from St. Louis on

I just wanted to let you know that my little guy will be 18 months on September 21st and is doing the exact same thing! You are not alone! I just walk away when he throws a fit and he gets over it pretty quickly. He pushes things over and throws things as well. It is just a phase and once they get a little older they will learn how to deal with their frustration better, hopefully. :-)

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answers from Kansas City on

Join the club! lol my daughter is 18 months and will throw herself down and cry. I ignore it and once she starts calming down I simply ask are you done now? it seems to distract her by making her think so she calms down pretty quickly. Other times she gets so upset that she will cry for awhile of which I put her in her room till she is done. usually she starts playing and so I don't bother her until she realizes she wants out of her room. plus she doesn't use a lot of words so she gets fustrated easy.



answers from Wichita on

You're doing fine, yes it will pass. Be sure to model dealing with anger/frustration positively. (I know it doesn't seem to make a difference, but believe me, any negative behavior that he sees you do, you will see it in him! It's pretty awful when you see that.)

The only other thing I would add is that when you get regular check-ups at the MD, be sure a lead test is included. My daughter had severe tantrums right at the age when her lead was high. Everyone said she was normal, but I wasn't completely sure, and the behavior changed quickly as the lead level dropped. There's no way to know if they were connected, but statistically, there is a clear relationship between high lead and aggressive behavior. Can't hurt to test.



answers from Kansas City on

C., You are absolutley right, he is just frustrated and probably doesn't have the words to express himself. Help him learn those words, and the appropriate way to act. "Oh, I'm mad, my tower fell and I worked hard to build it."

Give it a try.




answers from Joplin on

I can't help you much with the throwing ( my lil guy is Still throwing) what I was told to do about the throwing is to make him pick up whatever he threw, we have tried that and also making whatever object "flew" go bye bye...still no luck so maybe someday? But the temper tantrums...what has worked ( better than I EVER would have hoped for ) is we walk away...we ignore the tantrum...no words, no eye contact...and believe it or not it ends quite quickly, now that he knows he can no longer Get a rise out of us ( Or get his way) he is a Much better, sweeter toddler...now Alex is older he is 28 months old, he is speech delayed and has a lot of therapy...but having the behavior of tantrums going by the wayside I will say he is now using more words = ) So I am pretty sure that given time this will lessen for you as well ((hugs)) it does pass = )
If you think he has a speech delay you can always contact Parents As Teachers...but honestly boys just happen to be later talkers, so I would say don't stress but it can't hurt to check out PAT



answers from Topeka on

Welcome to the terrible two's (just a bit early). I have a 9, 7, and 3 year old. Temper Tantrums do subside, but they still rear their ugly heads from time to time. I know that is not comforting.... but that is just the facts!



answers from Kansas City on

Hi C.!

Yep, it's a pretty normal thing, but I would also watch for patterns: Is the same thing making him upset? Is there a particular time of day when he get mad, like close to naptime? Watch for signals and see if you can head off some of the tantrums before they become full blow. If you see a pattern and can get him calm without him losing it (sorry for the bad grammar, hope you get what I mean!), offer lots of praise.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing, but I agree with Betsy - anything he throws or pushes over, make him pick it up after he is calm.

Good luck!



answers from St. Louis on

Well, for tantrums at home (screaming,crying) tell him that you are sorry he's upset, but crying is done in his room. You may need to help him on going to his room for a while. Let him know when he's done, he can get out. Till this day when my daughter gets upset (now 8) she goes to her room to cry. If he has throw something, broke anything, etc... have him pick it up after he gets out of his room. Be sure to complement him being calm. Give hugs and kisses. Afterwards show him ways to let out anger in his room... like punching his pillow on his bed. Let him know it's OK to get mad and upset, but teach him the right way to let it out. Ignoring works wonders too... especially for the thowing themselves down on the ground. (no telling this child to go to thier room) Be sure to walk OVER him and walk away. The best of luck to you. It does get better when you find what works, it just takes a little time and being consistant is key.



answers from Kansas City on

The short answer is yes! The long answer is that has he becomes more verbal it will happen less, but until he's 4 or 5, they really can't understand or control some of their emotions and this will happen more. As they get older, we tolerate hitting and throwing less, but try to understand that he's stressed and frustrated and see if we can help him work through it.



answers from St. Louis on

okay...are you ready? I'm 46 & still feel the need to throw. When I was a toddler, my mother actually taught me to throw something when I was upset...to allow the emotion to be expressed. I still harass her over this! What a nightmare!!! Thanks a lot, Mom!

That said, this is a normal phase of toddlerville. Just encourage him to use his words....as in, "oops, I saw you throw that toy. Tell me what's wrong & let's work on it together." If he's not willing to work with you, if he's still focussed on his anger....then you can intervene & use a "calm place" or "timeout" to allow him to get his emotions under control. Good Luck.



answers from St. Louis on

I think you just described my daughter!!! She will be 18 months on October 22. We are going through the exact same thing at home...when she doesn't get her way or we tell her "no" she throws or knocks anything that is in her reach. We have begun to ignore this behavior and it seems to lessen the tantrum. All we can say is, "this too shall pass". Good luck...they're so much fun, aren't they!?!?

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