Temper Tanrtum in 4 Month Old?

Updated on August 07, 2011
J.J. asks from Broomfield, CO
19 answers

My son is now 6 month old, and for the last few months, if we're in the car or he's in his bouncy seat and he gets in a mood he'll start screaming and crying, to the oint of making himself throw up. WHen i get him he's soaked with sweat, and it takes him awhile to calm down. I've never experienced anything like this with my oyher 2 kids. Im not sure if it's even a tantrum, they way he cries, and how upset he is breaks my heart. I know he wasn't hungry, and when we were in the car I had the a/c on, the car was not hot. Please help!!

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So What Happened?

I appreciaye all your thoughts and ideas! I called his dr. after the 1st episode, and took him in. She said I need to male sure hes fed, changed ang not tired or hurt, and let him be mad. I sat him in his bouncy seat to use the potty, so it was just under a minute when he began screaming and making himself sick. I checked his whole body to make sure nothing bit him or pinched him and he had not a mark. his dr. said its his temper, she said he has a nasty temer and that i need to get a handle on it now.I wanted to see if any other moms have had similar experiences, im not sure i buy that its his temper, but am horrified to think it'll happen again. Hes my lil man, and it hurts me to see him so upset, and I ulled over and got in the back seat with him to try to distract him after i made sure the belts werent tight, and that he was ok. It took me over 30 min to get him out of his carseat and walk along the side of the highway b4 he calmed down. Then i had to put him back in to get home and he started up again. I wisj i could turn his seat around if its motion sickness, and i try not to go anywhere in the car unless i cant walk there., but im at a loss! again i thank all of you for your help!!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Babies that age, often do that.
It will pass.
Both my kids did that too, at about that age.

When in the car, I used a Helium balloon, tying it in the car where they would not get tangled with it or grab it... it distracted them when in the car.

Babies cannot talk... hence they cannot "say" what is wrong.... nor express their discomfort... HENCE a baby's way to 'communicate' is to cry and scream.
It is NOT a temper 'tantrum.'
They are merely trying to... express their discomfort.

It is a phase and will pass.
But we can't avoid going in the car.

Babies will ALSO do this, when they are OVER-tired or tired.
Babies cry/scream... in ORDER to, 'shut-out' external stimuli, too. It is their way to say, they have had enough or that they are tired.....
So, know his cues.

And if he cries when he is in those things... then don't put him in it or leave him in it.
He does not like, it.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It sounds like motion sickness.
If so, I hope he outgrows it, poor little guy! I had it throughout most of my childhood and it was awful :(

1 mom found this helpful

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B..

answers from Dallas on

WAY too young to even know to throw a tantrum. WAY too young. He is telling you he's unhappy or comfortable. Now you need to try to find out why. It seems he might not feel secure confined. I understand he needs to be in the carseat, but you should NOT leave him in a bouncy seat crying until he throws up. When he cries that hard, time to stop what you're doing and take him out.

PS.
Read your what happened. Find a new Dr. No GOOD Dr. would ever say what that Dr. did.

7 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

At 4 months old, it's not a temper tantrum. He's clearly upset about SOMETHING. An infant seat and bouncy seat both hold baby essentially the same way, so I would also explore a bit and see if there is something physically making him HURT in that position? Does he cry like that in the carseat even if it's not in the car? What about if you area actively engaging with him while he's in the seat? I wonder if he has a little rash or something that the buckle bothers or perhaps there is something poking him under the padding?

Poor guy. My advice is to treat his complaints like the are REAL and look for the source. Don't dismiss this as temper. He's trying to tell you something.

HTH
T.

7 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

He's not throwing a temper tantrum! He may just really not like being confined. Car rides are not fun for everyone, and some kids really hate them. I don't have a solution for you, but your son is not throwing a fit. He is genuinely unhappy, and this is his only way of telling you that.

7 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Not temper at that age, but he sure sounds miserable. Babies can become motion-sick. And they can also feel completely left out and in need of comforting/connection. Throwing up is not something he's making himself do, but the degree of upset and or simple nausea could certainly bring him to the point of up-chucking.

If it happens only occasionally in those particular locations, he could be feeling an uncomfortable pinch or squeeze. If it happens every time, then I'd consider motion sickness or a distressing sense of separation. Try adjusting his position. And in the car, try a few VERY short trips, like just down the block, stopping and taking him out for awhile BEFORE he becomes upset. If you can do this, you may be able to desensitize him by gradually increasing his time in the carseat.

Also, my grandson detested being strapped into the car for a few months in the middle of his first year (not an uncommon dislike in babies). We would sing to him loudly, including his name and animal sounds, every time we had to go somewhere. It usually kept him distracted, and he gradually got over his unwillingness to ride in the car.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

To echo everyone else, definitely not a temper tantrum and you need to get a new dr. asap!!! You could be dealing with a serious health issue like reflux or it could be that the straps are too tight in his car seat and if you have 2 other kiddos he probably doesn't want to be confined in the bouncy while they are moving about - he wants to join in the fun! My oldest HATED his car seat - because he was too big for it! Once we bought a bigger seat he was happy as could be. My youngest hated the bouncer and the jumperoo because his older brother would be running around playing and he wanted to join in!

Go with your instinct and if you try adjusting his car seat straps and putting him somewhere other then the bouncer and these fits continue take him to a new doctor and have him checked out - he is trying to tell you something in his own way :)

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N.S.

answers from Dallas on

your child is communicating in the only way he can- crying. There is something wrong. My guess would be motion sickness. He is probably getting very nauseated and the more nauseated he gets the more upset he gets, vicious cycle sets up and bada boom bada bing- upchuck. One of my kiddos would always, always start with the same behaviour when he became nauseated for whatever reason; whether illness or food not agreeing, or whatever- he would become grumpy and then cry and almost combative then would throw up and continue crying for a while until I had him cleaned up, diaper changed, and held him.
Regardless, some momma detective work is called for and if you've eliminated all external causes, a call to the pedi is in order.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

Some kids like motion others are troubled by it. His nervous system is still very immature. Pull over, take him out, whatever. He should not be getting to the point of throwing up or sweating. Early stress is very harmful to babies.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm appalled and angry that a doctor would say an infant this young has a "nasty temper." I think you should get a new pediatrician pronto.

A child this young is too young to have "temper tantrums." They react immediately and instinctively to what they don't like or what hurts or upsets them, sure, but that is NOT the same as intentionally manipulating an adult or having a "bad temper." Do you want a doctor who instantly labels your child like that? Will the doctor label your son "dumb" if he doesn't follow two-part instructions by a certain age? Will she label him "slow" if he doesn't walk or talk on some schedule she thinks is right?

If an infant is fussing like this in ONE circumstance that repeats -- in this case, car seat or bouncy seat -- the baby has some reason he hates, or is in pain because of, or feels unsafe and unprotected in those specific situations. If he is only doing this in the car seat and the bouncy seat, add it all up: He has some issue with being strapped down in the sitting position. Some kids truly hate being strapped into anything and it is not "temper" and something to punish them for; it's because they either hurt due to being strapped in (you check that the straps aren't too tight, but to him, they may still be); or he feels like he has zero control and cannot escape and get away. Or possibly he does have motion sickness that does not end up with vomiting; not all motion sickness does. I have had friends with kids so sensitive to motion that the bouncy seat alone made them very cranky and they were fine the moment they were out of it.

I would ditch the bouncy seat. It is not an essential tool for raising a baby. My daughter hated hers too, because she felt she had no control and couldn't move away from it. The car seat you can't do without, of course, but have you tried another model? And this might also change when he is larger and you can turn the car seat around. He may also have gas that comes when he is in certain positions, which is very difficult to tell.

But meanwhile, find another doctor if she was serious when she said as you report that "he has a nasty temper and you need to get a handle on it now." How do you "get a handle on" so-called temper in an infant? Wallop him? Take away his blanket? He's not old enough in development to have any idea of manipulating adults to get what he wants; he is only reacting to what to him is pain or insecurity or raw fear. The only reaction from adults should be to ease the pain, make him feel secure and make him feel safe. Sorry, I'm not fussing at you here but at the doctor's comment!

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S.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I do not agree with your doctor. You do not need to "get a handle" on a 4 month old's temper tantrum. There is no way that you can spoil a baby. Spoil him rotten right now and it will help him to be independent and confident in the future. Hold him, love him, comfort him, when he cries and he will adapt much better than if you let him be. Come to his every need and he will turn into a confident toddler who knows his mommy loves him and will be there whenever he needs her. It will be easier in the long run. Tiny babies like this need to be held and loved. I think it's so sad your doc is diagnosing it as a temper. So sad.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Try Hyland's line, I use the colic pills and teething pills for my kids, but I am pretty sure they make a motion sickness one too. It can't hurt to try and see if it will work. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

It could possibly be tantrums. My 3rd started the at 4 months! I was super sure by 6 months, and it was old news by 9 months when I finally started disciplining for it. She was purposely screaming and hitting me in the face if I tried to put her in the car, or stopped too long to talk to someone, went to put her down, or really anything that displeased her. Some are early with all that! My other two didn't start them until 18 months! Keep watch a bit longer on big picture, make sure he's not uncomfortable, but they could be tantrums. Your instinct will know over time. Our neighbors are Amish, and they typically begin tantrum discipline at 4-6 months! (when kids meet the requirements of actually having tantrums, not just being uncomfortable).

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Does it only happen when he's in the car seat or bouncy seat?

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

It is NOT a tantrum; he is not developmentally capable of having a tantrum. He is just in need of some love and attention, and perhaps a clean diaper and some milk. Even if you think he is not hungry he may be going through a growth spurt, which is common at his age, and need extra milk. Carry him and hold him as much as possible, use a sling or other infant carrier. Don’t let him get to the point where he is sweating and throwing up, that is not healthy for him at all and it is much harder to calm down a baby who has been allowed to get that upset. In the car it is tough because you can't take him out of his car seat, try to go out around his nap time so he may sleep in the car seat, and hang some interesting toys over the car seat so he will have something to look at other than the back of a chair, think how boring that must be! Sometimes you may just have to pull over and take him out of the car seat for a few minutes to calm him down. I sounds like you have a high need baby; I have had one of those! My other two were easy going but my middle child NEEDED to be held and cuddled more than the average baby. Holding your child a lot will not spoil him, that is an old wives tale. It will make him feel more loved and more confident. Best of luck!

I just read that your doctor says he has a nasty temper, I would change doctors! What an ignorant, rude thing to say! He is a baby, there is not one "nasty" thing about him, he is perfect just as he is! I know it is so hard, my baby girl used to cry so much I worried she was sick or that I was a bad mom, but just hang in there! After the 1 year mark my fussy baby started to turn into a happy toddler! She is 6 now and is the sweetest tempered child ever! She still loves to cuddle and needs lots of attention, but she is so well behaved. So there is hope!

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Maybe it's Motion sickness?

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

maybe something is sticking him when he's in the car seat. Does he have any bruises on him? I'd run my hands all over the car seat to make sure there isn't anything sticking out that could hurt him.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

If he were my baby I'd check with a doctor. Four-month-olds don't have temper tantrums per se - that is, they don't act up to get their own way. Something else must be upsetting him. Your doctor is the place to begin investigating the cause of this.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Sorry if this is obvious but is it possible the straps are too tight? Do you think he's upset about being strapped in? It is pretty odd. Could he just be high strung? Is this the only thing he does that seems over the top?? Look for a common denominator. Good luck!!

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