Telling the Kids About a Half Sibling

I responded to this once before. No, you should not tell your kids about a sibling that may or may not be your husbands. The baby won't even be part of their lives. It will complicate matters even worse. If your ex- husband wants to tell them--that should be HIS JOB. If he and this other woman were living together and raising this baby together than that would be a different story.

And no, I don't think forcing a paternity test should be your role. It's your ex-husband's mess and he should deal with it on his own.

Good luck to you.

My heart goes out to you. This is a horrible situation that your ex put you in. You or your ex should tell the children (but not until you know for sure if it is your ex's), I am sorry, but if it were me, I would want to know if I may in fact have a sister or brother (even if it half) and would want to have it out in the open sooner than later. I wish you all the best. Please let us know what happens. Good Luck.

I dont know from experience how to answer this, but I feel for you. I too think I would want to know if the baby was truly his. I first would want to see if he actually has anything to do with this child too begin with. His story might change on it being his once it is born and he has to help support the baby. I feel that honesty in a suttle fashion is what you need to do here. Explain to the children as much as they need to know and reassure them that no matter what you love them and that you always will love them. You might want to call your ped or a professional counsler and ask them for advise on how to handle this. Have you talked to the the pregnant ex-girlfriend? How does she want to handle this? Maybe together-as hard as it is you two can come up with a plan.

Bottom line best of luck, you will figure it out!!
Jessica

I would wait to tell them until you find out that it's his AND if he regularly cares for this other child. If your ex wants nothing to do with this child, there is no point in telling your kids about s/he until they are older. I have 3 half-siblings and am glad to share my life with them. The ONLY way I am able to share my life with them is because my dad is a part of my life. I have a full sister who hasn't seen the half-sibs in 10 years and they don't know her well(the youngest doesn't remember her at all). Obviously, we all know each other exists but we were also older and integrally involved in each others lives for some time.

Good luck!