Telling My Son(s) About a New Baby on the Way

Hi A.,
I agree with all of these, especially the wait as long as you can! I told my (now 15) 2 year old when I was only 4 months along, and I don't know how many times I heard "just get it out NOW I wanna play with it." I didn't have jealousy issues with her. She was almost 4 when I had my 2nd boy and I waited till almost 7 months to tell her, and the time was much easier on her. I wish you the best of luck, and the sibling classes are a great idea.

C.

wait as looooong as you can.

its a long wait for anyone, never mind someone who doesn't know how long an hour is. lol

thats my only advice. cuz no matter how you tell them, they will be thrilled, excited and scared all at once. lol

and even jealous....but its all normal!!

have fun!!

in the end, everything will work out!

best of luck! =]

Work into it... Get them used to the idea, read them stories about it.. etc. etc. and consider yourself lucky your child is up to the idea -- mine said "Only if it's a girl" (like I'd have a choice).

Hi A.,
First of all, congratulations! I'm a mother of 6, soon to be 7, and we have always told the kids right away. They have always been excited about it. I didn't think the time was so much of an issue, because they get busy and don't think about it all the time. I was probably more impatient than they! But it did allow them to participate in our excitement and preparations, and often even the appointments and ultrasounds, which gave them some "ownership." The only time I wouldn't tell them right away was if I still had some ambivalent feelings about being pregnant, because they will take their cues from you. The most beautiful thing is that I have rarely seen a child who wasn't excited about the prospect of having a baby brother or sister. Even my daughter, who has wanted a sister for so many years, and kept getting brothers, overcame her disappointment and was just as excited as the rest of us. Now, she's finally getting a baby sister in May! They're such a blessing! And your oldest is big enough to really be a helper, too, which will add so much more to the experience for him. Have fun! By the way, if you're a Christian, an awesome kid's book is "Angel in the Waters," by Regina Doman. My kids loved it and wanted me to read it with them all the time, particularly my 4-year-old.

We told our 4 year old son almost right away. My DH & I knew that we would be talking about it & that our boy would need to go to midwife appointments with me, so we told him almost as soon as we knew. This was his response: 1st completely quiet, then big smiles & jumping up & down. I asked him how he was felt about the news & he said "sooo happy! Like running & dancing for joy!" We thought this was a good a response as could be hoped for! We've shown him pictures in pregnancy books along the way so he knows what the baby looks like & what size it is at each stage. A few weeks ago he made a cradle for the baby that was 4 inchs long, just the size the baby was. He is also our official announcer-telling the news to family & friends. He has an auntie who is doula who he plays 'midwife' with, taking turns birthing babies. He tells everyone he wants to be a doctor-nurse-midwife when he grows up. I can't speak personally for telling a two year old, but whats worked for us (so far) has been to be very open with our 4 yr old and to include him in the process & joy as much as possible. Good luck!

my daughter was the same age when I was pg with my son.. we just sat her down and told her. she asked a bunch of questions (be ready with answers to anything! like how did the baby get there and how will it get out). if you are showing, then it's easier for them to picture because he's probably noticed if you are... check with your local hospital for sibling classes too.. they are great for the older kids to know what to expect when you are in the hospital so they won't get scared.

A. - I would just ease them into it, as your belly grows just let them know that there is a new baby on the way, let them help you decorate for the new one, buy something special for the new baby and I believe that most hospitals do have sibling classes so check into this. I used this for my girls when my son was coming and it kind of helped. Good luck

Get them involved in the process in some way. You don't necessarily have to go to the extent I did; my older daughter was 2 when my younger daughter was born, and she came to all of my doctor's appointments with me. She got to hold the heart monitor and press the button. She got to see the ultrasounds. We made her feel like this was HER baby, too. As a result, there has been absolutely NO jealousy. Definitely let them be involved in some way.

(When my mother was pregnant with me, she asked my older brother (who was 3) if he wanted a baby brother or sister; he responded with, "I want a Danny or a doggie!" Needless to say, I let him down on both counts!)