Teaching 2 Year Old Son

Updated on February 25, 2008
C.L. asks from East Orange, NJ
24 answers

My son who is 28 months is now at home with me because my husband and i were not happy with the daycare center he was at. We didnt see a progress with him in the school and why struggle to pay for something that we see is not doing anything for him. Now that he has been home with me for about a month i teach him his letters, numbers, shapes, colors etc, but sometimes he seems like he is not interested and don't want to sit down or is ignoring me. Or he is being stubborn and just determined not to repeat what i'm saying or doing with him. Could it be me? What i doing wrong? I think i just need a schedule, please any advice? He loves to read(well look at the pics and talk, lol) sing very well and anything involving music. So is this normal behavior for a 2 year old.

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So What Happened?

Hey everyone..Happy Tuesday!

Well i just want to let everyone know that i really appreciated all the advice that i got. I felt so much better knowing that i was stressing and trying over achieve than my son having a problem. I can say i took the playing a game and counting, or saying abc while doing something is working great for him. TOnight he picked up his alphabets when we were cleaning up and said " Mommie , B!" i damn near broke my neck from turning it around 2x because i had to make sure he said it..and he did! I was sooooooooo happy. My husband is greatful as well for all the advice and this website because being a mom know a days , we don't get credit and sometimes we just need support and it's great that we get it from each other. So once again WE thank you.

ta-ta

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M.P.

answers from Elmira on

Homeschooling my older kids has taught me how to keep my two younger ones learning and happy. I go to the dollar store and but books that come with a cd to listen to and cds that sing about letters and numbers. It gives me extra time with the other kids and if the cds break or the books rip it only cost me a few dollars. Also the older liks it. They don't always have to listen to my voice and the music seems to help them remember. Most younger kids can only hold their attention on one thing for 15-20 minutes at time anyway but it is a peaceful 15 minutes. I hope this helps some.

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D.H.

answers from Hartford on

This sounds normal for his age. Try working the learning into his play. Like, if he loves little cars, teach him the colors of the cars and make it a game (let's race the red and blue cars). Write the alphabet on a big sheet of paper or with chalk on the driveway, and have the little cars drive over the letters like roads. Count the cars. The trick is to make the learning just part of the game, not "okay we're going to sit and learn now." Boys especially love things outside, so play with sand, mud, sticks, rocks. It's easy to teach numbers and colors this way, and you can write letters in the mud with stick - fun stuff. If he likes puzzles, get an alphabet one.

I wouldn't expect him to be ready for a sit and learn environment until he's 3 or even 4.

Don't stress over or make it a big deal. If you have fun with it, he'll have fun with it and learn along the way. He will get it eventually.

D.

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P.G.

answers from Elmira on

I have been working, as a teacher, in both Public and Private school settings. I have seen the down fall of many children and the whole education of others (depending on the school and approach). My life's work has been to find a proper way to educate each child in a whole way, that feeds their head, hearts, and hands.

So, please...
Relax

Children learn through a myriad of different ways, mainly watching and mimicking at such young ages. They have so many facets of intelligence to discover, support, and nurture.

Reading and letter recognition can wait. Work on kinesthetic intelligence: help them to balance, kick, throw, roll, walk, run, jump, coordinate hand/eye, hand/foot etc. Social skills and communication interpersonally and intrapersonally. Musical and auditory functions need nurturing. Logical skills and rhythm should be introduced way before math skills, like counting or processes. Before reading, vocabulary and verbal context should be grown and mastered. There are so many skills and worthy intelligences to work on before these "institutionally important" academics like reading and writing.

There are social, emotional, physical, and spiritual prerequisites for academics that are being wholly passed over due to the push and shove of "no child left behind" and parents wanting their child to be smarter and perform better than the Jones'.

Not every child learns at the same rate or in the same way.
Your child's academic skill is NOT a reflection of you but, the way they show respect and communicate are.

Relax and help them to grow into whole social, emotional, physical beings before the academics. Academic will come when they are ready.

Enjoy your children. Enjoy their quirks and humour, their ideas and creativity, their uniqueness; don't push them into little molds.

http://enhancinged.wgbh.org/research/multi/examples.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/7107798.stm

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M.K.

answers from Rochester on

Have you looked into doing some montessori in the home? Kids learn best through play and "work". There are some great books on schooling at home "Montessori in the Home" by Elizabeth Hainstock it is available on Amazon. This is the time where your son can learn a fantastic amount but he won't want to learn in a traditional "school" setting. Just do your best to encourage him to continue learning.

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K.H.

answers from Buffalo on

yes...it is

If he did not like the structure of the daycare, he may be trying to keep mommy time as mommy time...not learning time.

Reading books is great...be careful not to pause too long pointing out shapes and number, you are losing his attention and becoming the teacher. He will pick things up in his own time. Just because he did not learn his shapes when the rest of the 2 yr olds did, won't make him less intelligent as an adult. Do you know who was a faster learner as a toddler when you were in high school? It just doesn't matter. It will come, and if you over stress it, you will stress him out by pushing.

Make a point to be descriptive when you talk to him...adding a little bit here and there...it will start to catch his attention and want to learn. Count things out loud. Pick up toys in a pattern...first the blue toys...1,2,3. then the red...1,2. Everything you do near him. I need 2 white eggs...1,2 and white milk. 3 blue plates...1,2,3. Not as though you are trying to teach...but naturally he is going to pick up on your speech and want to know what you're saying and learn from it. I used to set up silly things intentionally....does he have a box of building blocks?? the different colors and shapes...accidentally spill them over and ask him to help organize with you, use some acting skills and look genuinely upset you made a booboo. Children are sympathetic, he'll help you is you look like you are sad...assign him a shape or color.....lol or...flip an old deck of cards in the air, or get a cheap deck from the dollar store.....ooopsie, "please help me get these back in order before anyone finds out". they are only cards...if he bends them so what.

collect them and lay them all out on the floor and put them in order. one row of hearts...one row of spades...you stay on one side...let him have the other, give him the row near him to search....you do the other three....ok...we need one...or the letter A...you find yours (slowly), let him keep up and find his Ace...ok, I found the spade, and the diamond..when he finds his...then tell him, ok next we need 2's etc etc...it may work, he won't feel its teaching, he's helping....but his attention will not stay long enough to finish it...thank god....how do you explain the j,q and k...lol

I don't like lots of television for kids...but make video time while you are preparing meals...and if he loves to sing ..invest in barney videos (gosh he annoyed me, but he taught the kids and they love the songs) next thing you know <poof> they have learned a ton of stuff. Whistle barney songs all day (lol, i caught my self whistling barney at work)...he will get used to the tune, it will catch his attention when he hears it on the television.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

hi C.!
i am a teacher...it's okay that he gets distracted...he's two. change up what you do daily...include lots of playtime, while still teaching him his letters, numbers, etc. also developmentally, he may not be ready for some of the concepts you're intoducing. don't worry...it may not seem like he is getting it but he is....be persistent..not pushy. if he turns "off" let him....remember..he's only two. have fun!

p.s. www.lakeshorelearning.com has cool things for preschoolers...i get my supplies for school from here

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M.

answers from New York on

I would reccommend that you use his interests! If he loves music then find things that involve music. He likes books use books, i.e get a book about the items you want to teach him, read it and talk about it. If he is not into formal education techniques try "unschooling" - use everyday activities, things, common events as opportuniites. My daughter is also 2 and we learned to count doing all kinds of things. We counted diapers as we packed the diaper bag, etc. Now I ask her for a specific number of an item so she practices.

I am also an avid believer in multisensory learning. So we use a lot of Do Re Me & You items. We learned our body parts using their Head Shoulder Knees and Toes set. It incorporated almost 30 body parts in the book, song and puzzle. I will admit that I am a consultant for DRMY. I started because I saw what a wonderful effect thier products held for my daughter. But I would reccommend you check them out even if I wasn't in the biz :-) How great is it when our children learn while they are playing with out even realizing it!

Good luck! They all learn everything they need in their own time :-)

M.

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C.V.

answers from New York on

This is completely normal, when my son was 2 he just wanted to play and his attention span was very small. Like your son, he loved to look at books, so I decided to get him flash cards and he loved them. There are a lot of different games that you can play with flash cards, so you can switch it up to keep him interested.

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C.H.

answers from Albany on

I agree with the others that he is too young for formal learning. If your friends or whatever have a comparison thing saying their kid can do this and that, who cares. Many of the kids mimic/memorize and don't actually "know" what it is.

Continue the reading, it's a great thing. Read books that encourage the things you are trying to teach.

Good luck!

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B.J.

answers from New York on

For a child of that age, it's hard for him to want to learn without fun. Try and see if there are other moms doing the same thing you are doing. Join a group where there are other kids involved. Maybe that will get your son to motivated to learn more.

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M.B.

answers from New York on

As a former elementary school teacher...I would say he just is too young for "formal" teaching. Exploring and observing are about what a 2 year old can handle. Learning needs to be fun. Try things like introducing more challenging vocabulary ....like instead of saying "I am so hungry," try "I am famished." He is going to learn letters, etc. in preschool anyway. Letting him do what he wants is also fostering independence....

M.

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G.M.

answers from New York on

As a teacher, your 2 year old son, does not need "formal" education. At his age, he will learn through play and listening to others. Remember you are dealing with a very little person. His attention span is very small. If you want to work with him formally, you should make your lessons fun and short.

Hope this helps.
G.
mom of 8 and 5

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P.R.

answers from Elmira on

Hi C., I don't think you are doing anything wrong. From my experience with my daughters and my neices and nephews, 2 years old might be a little young to be teaching him all of the things that you are. Maybe if you start out with colors or shapes first to see if he can learn those, then gradually add the alphabet and numbers in. My daughter is 4 1/2 now and she is just taking an interest in learning her letters and how to write them. She could say her alphabet when she was 3 but she didn't know how to recognize them. When ever I would try to work with her she didn't show any interest. Your son will learn what you want him too, just be patient with him. Maybe making a game out of what you want him to learn will get him interested. I hope this helps.

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M.Z.

answers from New York on

Hi, C. (what a cool name!!),

With a wee one that little, perhaps you could take the focus off his gaining academic skills and focus on all there is for him to learn about this world he lives in. It's been helpful for me to understand a couple of principles about how humans learn.

First and foremost, humans are learning machines. You cannot prevent us from learning. We *want* to learn. And, we learn *despite* things that are going on. We learn ALL the time. *Without* needing to be taught! Little humans learn at an incredible rate, and the way we humans learn is through our own process that has nothing to do with the "teacher." (Sorry folks, it's true!) Think about how we learn to walk and talk and function in society. Our moms didn't deliberately teach us how to walk; how would they have done that? We learned to walk (and the myriad other things we learned and continue to learn to do) by observation, imitation, reason. My point here is that learning is what *we* do. We are compelled to do it.

In our society, little people are distracted from their learning process by constantly having their attention drawn away from drinking in and understanding their environment to interpreting symbols like letters and numbers (which have no role in their world). Little kids are trying their best to understand the world, and we're only happy when they can tell us that this shape is "H" or whatever. What have they learned? Probably something more like: "It makes Mommy happy when I agree with her about what to call this shape." That isn't really learning the alphabet or how to read.

Kids learn to read by being read to. And, they don't really need to be taught, either. I know this because I have lived it. My son "taught" himself to read out of his need at that time in his life (when he developmentally was ready) to understand how to read. Reading is just one example of this.

My guess is that you won't likely find too many other folks telling what I'm telling you, but my whole point is that young people probably could do well to be focusing on learning other stuff than letters and numbers and shapes and colors. Things that may not be quantifiable but are, nevertheless, crucial and important to their development.

Rather than "teaching" those things, I would take long walks together in the woods (if that's what he likes to do). I would find out what *he* likes, what fascinates him, and then I would provide those things (but I would be willing to shift as he shifts ~ and he *will* shift!). I would listen ~ *really* listen ~ rather than talk so much. I would answer questions honestly and to the best of my ability, and when I couldn't answer a question, I would be honest about that and then help him find the answer. I would never ruin an experience by turning it into a "teachable moment." I would pursue things that interest me, and model that for my son (but not to the exclusion of allowing him to pursue his interests).

I would focus my efforts and attention on creating a rich, joyful, peaceful, loving environment for my son. Then, I'd get the heck out of his way!

I hope this has been helpful!!

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S.F.

answers from Buffalo on

Absolutely normal. I don't know that it's necessary at this stage to try to formally "teach" him these things. I'd suggest working it into the things that he enjoys. While reading, talk about the colors and shapes that you see in the pictures. Find some CDs that have songs about numbers and letters. And so on. I know *my* 27-month-old won't sit for a "lesson" but she loves to do her puzzles, read books, sing and dance, etc.

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G.G.

answers from New York on

Sounds like you are doing everything you need to do. I too have a 2 yr old, actually he'll be 3 in February. Your son sounds alot like my son. My son is very smart, outgoing and very observant but also very independent. I am a working mom so I don't have the luxury of being with him all day and he isn't in a daycare...yet. He currently stays with my mom who speaks mainly Spanish which I was told is the reason he isn't talking much at the moment. He is trying to distinguish 2 very different languages, English and Spanish. I do have to say that he understand both languages. My son isn't very verbal but he definvitively tries very hard to talk. He does have a pretty large vocabulary though. Because I am a working mom, I make sure I have time to play with him. Our nightly routine is get home, have dinner, playtime which includes puzzles, books etc., snack time while he winds down with one of his favorite videos, clean up (brush his teeth and potty time) and then we put him sleep. However, like your son, he sometimes doesn't seem very interested in reading, won't repeat his letters/numbers and simply won't pay attention to me. So, to answer your questions...No, you aren't doing wrong. It's not you. And yes, he is a very normal 2 year old. Of course, my fustration sets in when he doesn't pay attention but I don't let him see it. I just redirect what we are doing to something that he wants to do. I give him a choice of a few things we can do. It sounds like you do have a schedule so it's just a matter of getting him interested in what you want him to do. Good Luck! Good to know that someone else is in the same boat as I.

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L.W.

answers from New York on

what day care? i had issues with mine and pulled pout my 3 1/2 year old
any how.
The one thing is you think he's gonna listen to yo u... hah your his mom ( made the same mistake,.)
so i have an itinerary and we hardly follow it. and we incorporate everythin in it. library trips nick jr. nogin , sprout and good ol channel 13. Yes we still write and do flash cards n work books but at his pace. he gets bored we stop. hell they knew my son has speach issues and i was and still am the only one workin with him.
and finally, Kids do also better when there are two or more doin the same thing.
were are you from?

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J.H.

answers from Binghamton on

your very lucky you have an observant son, some kids at that age could care less or just don't catch on as quickly as others do. as far as getting him to repeat things you say while your teaching him i would get one of those books that you pusha button and it will tell him his colors and letters and animals and such. thats what i did wiht my son and he loved it. He caught on really fast and we made a game out of it. I also bought him some color and number blocks to put together and we play wiht those too. if he likes reading i would go for the books i think he'll participate more witih this method. i know my son did and he's 3 yrs old.i hope i helped......J. from bighamton, ny

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M.L.

answers from New York on

I feel your pain I have a 19 almost 20 month old son and he is the same way. He knows his numbers and ABC's but he is stuborn, he only says them when he wants to. What I find myself doing is going through both when he's climbing up the stairs or down the stairs. Also when we are walking and he is taking a step. He repeats them after a while and this keeps him busy so it prevents him from acting out at times. he also enjoys Elmo's ABC dvd. Im a 22 year old single mom.

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H.P.

answers from New York on

First of all he is only 2! I work as a school psychologist at the elementary level. We have sooooo many parents who call us up wanting their 3 year old tested thinking that they have learning difficulties because they don't know their letters. Many kindergarten students don't know all of their letters until close to the end of the year. Part of the difficulty in teaching a 2 year old letters is that they don't mean anything to them yet. The best thing you can do is find various, fun activities such as finger painting, playdough, stickers the letter game in the car etc...to expose your son to as much as you can without formally teaching...if he is observant and determined, he will pick up on things that way. As he is closer to 4 then you could try "teaching" strategies...he will be more open and developmentally more ready.

Good Luck...have fun.

H.

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T.S.

answers from New York on

I don't have a two year old but I work with children alot. Two year olds have very short attention spans. So it's not you that he is paticularly ignoring. A schedule would be great for both of you and get him into the habit of sitting still for short periods of time. You could try replicating his daycare center with a little table and chair or whatever thier techniques for teaching were this way he would associate the two as the same learning. You should also remeber that when he was in daycare and came home he didn't have to have a set time to sit and pay attention he just roamed about the house at his own pace. So many thing to distract him. His TV all of his toys that he now doesn't have to share with anyone. If you recreate his learning environment with his daycare then he will slowly learn the new atmosphere and routine. Once that is well established you can slowly start to change things around to the way you would like them to run. The one thing I can suggest is the foam letter and number blocks that you place on the floor like a mat. They are big and brightly colored and may keep his attention also because they are a new toy for him. This can help both in holding his attention and learning with repetition, I got mine at Burlington Coat Factory/Baby depot, but Toys R Us should have them also. Hope this helps and I have given you a good idea. Let us know how it works out.
T.

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C.B.

answers from Albany on

Hi
I am 35 and mother of 4 children.
I homeschooled for 7 yrs. My youngest 2 boys I found to be difficult to teach. My friend who schools 7 says "boys are tougher to teach". I also notice this world seems to push our children to learn more n more at such an early age. Kindgarten for me was all about learning my ABC's and to tie my shoes.
My best advice is boys have a way of taking a step back before going forward. My youngest still takes his time with learning. He is a perfectionist and they need time xtra for everything.. Its all or nothing at all with my littlest.
If you rush him he will feel your frustration and it could prolong the process... Also I have children that learn different ways. One can do 3 things at once and learn still. Another needs absolute silence or she looses her concentration.
My oldest boy can learn anything that is visual...
Maybe you need to find out the way he learns best 1st.
Also try different places to practice his letters or numbers with flash cards like on a car ride...
Many Blessings with Schooling
C.

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D.

answers from New York on

You have to remember a 2 yr old has an attention span of about 15 mins. So with that in mind, keep any learning sessions with him short, and involve play. I have my son signed up for a book club that may give you some ideas. Each month a new book comes with an extra activity book, a craft type project, and a cd. You also get a little news letter about what your child should learn this month. It's Brighter Vision. It comes in Aidan's name and it' only $17.99 a month (much cheaper then pre school) and it's educational. Each month there is a theme (letters, shapes, a trip to the Zoo, learning to help with chores) and all the the material follows the theme and their age appropriate. It was a program set up by teachers and it's great. The books are really nice, hard back or board books, and usually are worth more then your monthly payment themselves. We've had Aidan signed up since he was about 6 mos old. And as he gets a little older he'll get excited that he gets his own mail. The website is www.brightervision.com . Look into it, what can it hurt.

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C.B.

answers from Albany on

You have to keep it at a play time level when teaching a 2 yr old, there attention span can not handle long time learning, You just have to play with him all the while saying this is a blue square, can you get the blue square, Or Sing the ABC all the time, Teaching a 2yr by play time is the best way. They are just too young.

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