Teachers and Maternity Leave Beginning of the School

It's not a ideal situation. For some moms this brings up anxieties that somehow this will hinder their child. They should have time to get to know the sub and let the sub have time to get to know the child. So maybe you speak calmly and say just that.

Believe me, you will have plenty of times like this over the years. It's best to be known as the level headed mom who waits to see how the situation plays out, not the mom who parrots other people's fears. Be the island of reasonableness.

As a mom, I'd find it hypocritical to hold someone's maternity leave against her. Either we are for moms, or we're against them, right?

What does this other mom want? For the teacher to give birth right there in her classroom, so she can get back to work that same day? Or does she want her fired from her livelihood for the sin of having her baby at an inconvenient time? Sorry, people like that drive me nuts. I don't think I'd be able to ignore her. I'd tell her exactly what I thought of her self-centered, hypocritical attitude.

I've ran into this a few times. It's not never been a problem for my kids, and it wasn't always pregnancy related.

Obviously she hasn't prepared her child to deal with change very well, or doesn't think she has. I always trusted in my kids to be able to adapt to differing circumstances and taught them tools to help them adjust. What do you say to her? "I am so happy for Ms. Teacher! I trust the children are in good hands and that my child will be able to adjust, don't you fell the same way?"

For some people, complaining is their form of conversation. I tend to distance myself from people like that, not that I don't do my own share of b*tching, but I don't make a lifestyle out of it. I'm sorry you have to deal with her.

As a long term substitute (12 yrs and counting), I am we'll aware that some parents don't care for substitutes and question our abilities. Blah

The other parent needs to let it go because that attitude with be picked up by her children.

Substitutes, especially long term,are very well trained and we have a higher standard to achieve because if the attitudes of people like your friend. At our school, we are involved with much more than just showing up and babysitting a class. We are active with teacher planning periods, other supporting classes, the administration and of course, parents.

Subbing is something I chose to do a long time ago on the side . Subs don't make much money.... The routine subs you see are there for 1 reason.... We love the children.

I sub when I can because my main job is running my company. Subbing is my outlet to stay connected with simething I love to do and even I'm there, its my "mental break" from my normal day to day which re-energizes me and I am more productive in both areas.

I love the children I work with. They all visit me for Halloween and know they'll get special treats. When I run into them while at grocery or something, they come hug me and tell me about their day. I get paid hardly anything and compared to my real job I am basically volunteering my time. BUT. To me..... It's priceless!

In a perfect world I guess women teachers would schedule getting pregnant so they would not hinder other people who have issues with quality substitutes like your friend does.

Too bad your friend isn't more open minded. Your children are gaining more experience and they will be able to adapt to changes more easily than some students and GASP. ... They learn too!!!

I think the other parent is overreacting, honestly. I'm sure the regular teacher spent the summer making lesson plans so that they would be ready for the sub. You can't always plan when your baby will come, and kids adapt a lot better than adults do to this sort of thing.

Mom:

This has happened in our school before. Women get pregnant - that's a fact of life, right? So a teacher had a baby! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

The other parent needs to CHILL. What is her problem? Does she think a substitute teacher is "less than" a teacher because she is a substitute?

You can't change her mind - so I would ignore her or tell her to take her concerns to the principal - if the principal can't change her mind - not your problem, right? As long as she's not creating havoc or chaos in the classroom with the other students? There's not much you can do.

If she's concerned about her child growing attached to the substitute - it happens - and in our school - the substitute was in the classroom for one week after the teacher came back to introduce the kids to her, tell her what she's been doing, etc.

Tell the other mom to CHILL!!

A long term sub during the teacher's maternity leave is really no biggie in the scheme of things. My daughter's first grade teacher had her maternity leave at the end of the year. She taught until A., and then a long term sub was there for the remaining six weeks of school. Not ideal, but teachers are entitled to have babies too and they come when they come!

When my daughter was in second grade, one of the other second grade teachers DIED of cancer. You wanna talk disruptive? Her students and their parents knew she was ill at the beginning of the year, and she had to stop teaching in late October due to the progression of her illness. A new teacher was hired at the end of October, and the original teacher died several months later. It was awful for those kids!

Heaven forbid her daughter goes to school where teachers are scarce because insurgents keep killing anyone who tries to educate females. Or in an underdeveloped country where the kids meet under a tree and write with sticks on the ground.

Life is full of substitutes and replacements. The sooner this other parent accept that and teaches her children how to cope and deal with life's constant changes, the happier she might be. Life is all about adapting.

If she keeps bringing it up, just focus on your daughter and how well she is doing is school even with the temporary arrangement.

Happens all the time. Good thing, too! Babies are the future. No worries!

I agree that ideally you want the teacher you begin the year with to be the teacher your child will have for the entire year. But the kids will be just fine. They'll adapt. They know that substitutes are part of the deal.

When I was in first grade my teacher was murdered part way through the year. The teacher who took over the class was someone we were familiar with, as she had assisted in our class many times before. I don't know if she was an aid or a college student finishing her degree or what. She did a great job!

I don't mean to take my situation lightly. My dad was very, very concerned about how it would affect me. He even took me to her funeral, as he thought it would help me cope with the tragedy. The think is, I was in first grade. I really didn't understand what was going on. I liked my teacher, but I don't remember being upset or anything.

My point is, the kids really will be fine. They will know the teacher they have now and, as the time for the regular teacher approaches, their sub will talk to them about it and explain that she is returning. They will have to get used to the regular teacher, but they will be fine.

As far as the other parent goes, just listen. I'm not sure there's much you an say except, "I'm sure the kids will be fine," or "Kids are resilient. They'll adjust." You'll probably just have to smile and nod.

We had this during our son's kindergarten year. It was a bit disruptive...it just will be when you have teachers change mid year. However, the substitute was amazing and my son responded to her much better than the regular teacher. I would encourage this parent to get to know the substitute and perhaps volunteer in the classroom. Perhaps that would alleviate her fears.

A friend of mine had her daughter in a class last year where the teacher went on maternity leave in the first couple of weeks of school. The baby had major health issues and the teacher had to take a couple of leaves during the year even after returning to attend to her baby's health needs. All of this was completely unavoidable and the teacher obviously had to put her child first. However, the back and forth was really disruptive and h*** o* her class. So, it could be way worse than you all have it.

I'm a teacher and a mom and have had experience with this myself. My oldest child was born in July and I was out till October that year. A sub was hired for me, and I had a veteran assistant in the room, which helped. The sub was not adored by the kids and parents but that had more to do with her as a person, and her delivery to the kids, than the fact that she was a sub. The kids and parents were thrilled when I returned and guess what... they were fine. I established my routines that first week and just picked up where the sub left off. We all did just fine and that class was one of my favorite classes of my teaching career.

As a parent, would I love the situation you and your mom friend are in? Probably not, but as others have said, I'd teach my child that the teacher's family comes first and that the sub will get support from the other teachers and do a great job. This other mom you have to deal with is the kind of mom who will complain no matter what, trust me. I am a veteran teacher and this is the truth! The writing is on the wall, unfortunately for you. Sorry you have to deal with her.

The one thing I would add is that it is VERY physically hard to be pregnant and a teacher. With both my kids, the last weeks of the pregnancy were spent standing all day, teaching, bending down, and preparing for the sub to take over. I was not at my best. It's probably better for all that the teacher be in the last trimester over the summer and not the spring, since the kids in last year's class benefited from her hopefully being more agile and energetic, and this year's class will see her sleep deprived but also physically recovered. Try that spin and see what happens. And remind her that teachers have lives and kids too... imagine that!

I had this happen when my daughter was entering 4th grade. I requested a classroom change only because we had just moved and I felt that she had had enough change over the summer. New house, new state, new school, new teacher -- she didn't need one more change. My request was granted and I didn't regret it. BUT if we had lived here originally, I'd not have requested a transfer.
I was a long term sub for 8th grade math and science while the teacher was out on maternity leave. She did not leave lesson plans. She did not contact me the whole 9 weeks she was out. I was on my own. I had to get the lessons prepped and taught as well as keep them on pace because the state testing was taking place 2 weeks after my departure and her return. We worked hard. We lost 13 days to snow. We kept pace. And every single kid passed the state exams. Phew!
Long term subs work hard! We are highly educated and organized. And most importantly, we love what we do. (I've been asked to return to the classroom full time, but I'm just not there. I like being home.)
Basically tell her to request a transfer or quit harping!

I would not worry about it more than I would worry at the end of the year. The teacher is bound by her own biology and I wouldn't presume to tell anyone that she can't try for a baby between x and y months because it would be a little inconvenient at the start of the year. So as a parent? I'm with you. Not worried. I survived having my teacher go on maternity leave when I was in elementary school. The other parent needs to chill out. Other than moving her kid to another class, there's nothing she can do and for 8 weeks, I'm sure that they'll be fine.

So maybe that's what you tell her when she goes off on a rant. Appeal to her motherhood.

Teachers are people too, they get pregnant, get sick, have accidents. Life happens to them just like everyone else.
What are they supposed to be, robots?
That's what I would say!

This should not be a problem for the students- the school knew the teacher was pregnant and probably already had a long term sub picked out for her. Long term subs get paid a little more than occasional subs and also have to attend planning team sessions, parent conferences. I bet the teacher may come up to school to meet the kids about a week before she is due back to help the transition. I would try to keep a very upbeat attitude with the other mom and make it a non-event. If she continues to belabor the issue, change the topic or find an errand you have to run or go to pick up a magazine from your car.

The permanent teacher won't just show up one day. She will probably stop in once a week or so. I wouldn't stress about it.

Love Terry S response.

I wouldn't like it, but I get it and understand. Hopefully, the teacher will come in from time to time and visit the kids so she does have the opportunity to meet them before her first day back to school.

I can see why people might be concerned. You worry about so much with your kiddos in school, so one more thing to add to this can be hard- I totally get it.

This happened to my daughter when she was in second grade, and then again in third. In fact, at back to school night for fourth grade, the first thing the teacher said to the parents was (jokingly) "can you please ask your kids to stop asking when my baby is due, it's hard to not be offended!" The kids were so used to their teachers leaving for babies that they just assumed the fourth grade teacher was pregnant! It was quite funny, but also showed us that the kids just adapted.

The kids will be fine. And most likely, the regular teacher will start making classroom visits before returning, so the kids will get to see her some. You could always ask the sub or the principal if this is the plan, just to make sure it is.

The other parent is worrying, which is normal. All you can do is listen, and assure her that the the kids will be fine. This is SO common, schools know what to do. And the kids sort of work it out as well. They will talk to each other about what they like/dislike about the sub and what they like/dislike about the regular teacher. Parents can help with that as well, just helping them process their feelings about having a new teacher a few months in.

Really, it's one of those things that is much worrisome as a thought, but once you are 'in' it and see how smoothly it is going, you'll wonder why you ever worried.

I would look at her, and very seriously, with a straight face, say:
You're right, she should have aborted that child rather than let it interfere with her job.
I bet THAT shuts her up.

I've been that long term sub that started the year off. The kids never skip a beat, nor do they really care, and the parents eventually realize it isn't something to be worried about.

My daughters's 3rd grade teacher went on maternity leave 2 months before school ended. This was not a problem at all. I actually ended up liking the sub more than her regular teacher. I really do not see this as a big deal at all and would tell the other mother life is too short to be concerned about this.

Tell her that you are soooo excited that it's just for 2 months and that she could have had the baby in January and not have come back for the rest of the yr !! That happened to 1 of my kids...

Also, about 20 yrs ago, I took over a first grade classroom a few months after school started and taught that class until the end of June. The class was the most difficult one in the school that year. The teacher was happy to leave. That teacher decided not to come back after the Christmas break...and the parents were thrilled. I just happened to be a good fit for those kids.

As a former teacher, these things happen all the time. It sounds like the teacher will be back by the end of October. So, she will be with the class for 8ish months. Most likely, the teacher has chatted with the teacher filling in. She might have even given her the lesson plans for the class...

My daughter had a long term sub in 2nd grade due to male teacher illness and she ended up LOVING that women so much that she hugged her every time she saw her in the hallways in subsequent years. But I can understand that for some kids change is more than difficult and if that is the case I would request a classroom that will most likely have the same teachers all year.

I think your response to the other parent was good. Let her vent to you if she wants to and if you can stand it, but don't give in to complaining with her.

You can tell her things like "I see where you are coming from, but I think it will be fine." If you don't fuel her fire by complaining with her she will stop complaining to you. If you have a chance to meet the substitute you can stick up for her with the other mom "I met her and think she's got it together. I think it will be fine."

I don't think you have to ignore or avoid her, but don't stoop to her level of complaining and negativity.