Tantrums When Leaving Fun Activities

Ask him, "Do you want to come back?" Invariably, he'll say, "Yes." Then tell him, "Well, we can't come back if we don't leave." Then drag him to the car. At least you'll get a smile out of the host(ess) or other parents as you are dragging him away. Ha! My dd (now 4) actually responds to this tactic. That and redirection. Good luck!

Cut out the warnings and the cookies. Just tell him "OK, it's time to go," and lug him, kicking and screaming, to the car. Do not talk, or plead, or scold, or respond, while he is carrying on. Just lug him, and be consistent: don't give in to the tantrum one time, then refuse to give in next time. When he realizes that he won't EVER get attention for having a tantrum, and that having a tantrum won't EVER change the outcome of the situation, he will stop.

Staying consistant and strong ate the only things that are going to get him through this stage, I think. Make sure when you say you're going to leave ("ok our minute is up, lets go") you do so right away so he doesn't think that by throwing a tantrum he's getting what he wants.
It'll suck for awhile, but eventually your little guy will understand that "go time" is just that, and no amount of screaming will help extend it.
I know its horrible and can be embarrassing, but you'll get through it. Other moms understand. We've all been there! :)

It's his job, as a 2-year-old to throw tantrums and it's your job, as his mom, to drag him to the car wihen it's time to go. This too shall pass. You just have to wait for him to grow out of it. In another year or two you'll be shocked at how cooperative he is.

Try taking a kitchen timer with you. When the timer goes off it's time to go. Let him help you set it. "today we have 30minutes to play. When we get back home we're going to..."
Use it at home for transition time as well so he's used to the meaning.

When we take our 2 and 3 (soon 3 and 4) year olds to the park. We always take some kind of snack. Like goldfish, preztels, fruit snacks, and a juice. That way we ask are u ready for a snack, they happily agree most times. For times when they don't, we tell them well we need to leave in a certain amount of time and we usually get an okay. When their time is up, most days we have no problem after that. You can also tell him that we will come back later or tomorrow or whenever. That always works for us. If they throw a big fit (usually when they r over tired) We just tell them we are sorry they feel that way, that we'll come back later, end of convesation. I have gotten good at blocking out fussing when it is not called for. They know mommy doesn't play. Hope this helps you out.

My 2 1/2 year old son does the exact same thing, to the point where I dread taking him anywhere. I also have a 15 month old son, so sometimes it's really important to leave at a specific time, for feedings, or such. I have also tried the bribing with cookies or whatever, and it generally works, but I don't like the fact that I have to bribe him. Someone on here suggested asking if he'd like to walk or be carried--this is what we have to do. We'll ask him if he wants to walk like a big boy, or be carried like his baby brother. I hate referring to him as a baby, because he's not and it makes him cry, but it generally works after a minute or two of screaming. I have the additional problem of not being able to pick him up easily--I have a lot of back problems, and it's extremely painful to carry him (which is a problem in itself). He knows this too, so he'll drag out his fit as long as possible because I will put off picking up a screaming and kicking toddler as long as possible, since it huts. But in answer to your question, the time warnings, and letting him choose to walk or be carried tends to work. I also take a watch or small clock, or something that'll beep loudly enough so he can hear it when his time's up, and that way he knows it's really time to go.
It is really hard though, and I know exactly what you're going through. If you figure out anything better, please let me know!

The 5 minute countdown is a great start. But at his age, he probably also needs some distraction, like the cookie. Not that you need to give him a cookie... but you need to provide SOMETHING to distract his mind. The "let's race to the car" is one version. I always tried to race my kids to see who could get their seatbelt on the fastest, me or them... Start challenging them while you are leaving the park/library or wherever you are. Also, remind them that you are leaving because...___... and start talking up the next item on your agenda. "Let's hurry so when we get home we can ___" or "Come on, we don't want to be late for ____" . You get the idea. Try not to use the exact same "agenda" each time you go somewhere... just be creative about where you are headed next... home for a nap? Not such a good thing to mention. Home for something cold to drink (before the nap that you aren't mentioning).. much better thing to talk up.

I use to have this problem too! I started giving my daughter warnings 30 minutes before we leave (about every 5 minutes I remind her we will be leaving soon) and that seemed to work for her. I also started saying things like "bye bye swings!" which she then repeats and waves to the swings. We say goodbye to everything she was playing with at the park or friends place. Also, I use lines from her favorite TV show to make the exit a little more exciting for her. She loves Little Einsteins and luckily for me (seriously, I'm so thankful for the script on this show lol) they have a part in every episode where they buckle their seat belts and get ready to take off in their rocket! So I pretend the stroller or car is the rocket ship, and then we repeat the lines from the show where you buckle your seat belt and raise your arms as high as you can and say "blast off!". Then on the way home I talk up what we'll be doing once we get there, like coloring, or having a yummy dinner, etc. It's kind of a long goodbye process but tantrums completely stopped once I started doing it this way. I hope you find something that works for you out of the responses you receive! I know how hard it can be to go through this, especially when it happens all the time!

I always offer something like this, "Ok, Aubrey, it's time to go now. Let's go home and have a snack and watch Dora! Hurry, let's go!" Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. HTH. :)

remember who you're dealing with. yes, the warnings are an excellent idea, keep doing that. yes, sometimes incentive is a good thing (although i would only give a reward if the child comes along relatively compliantly.) but 2 year olds don't have much of a concept of future, they live joyously in the NOW, and when a wonderful glorious fun NOW is ending, it hurts! and when they hurt, they bellow. be patient and consistent, and understand that he has to vent his frustration somehow. lugging a screaming toddler is just part of the fun<G>.
khairete
S.

I've experienced this many, many times. My 4 year old has a hard time with transitions. What has worked best for me (although not every time) is to say something like 'guess what were gonna do when we get home' excitedly - then make sure you do something fun of course or you'll lose his trust. Nothing elaborate; his favorite game or something. Or 'Quick, before we miss (his fave show)!' Or 'I have a surprise for you in the car' (a fave stuffed animal or something).
Just remember, it's important to not wait until he is in full blown temper tantrum mode to do this, otherwise it may just seem like a reward to his behavior. Predict when he'll need the distraction and beat him to it! Eventually, he'll forget his routine of screaming whenever it's time to leave. Good luck!

I think this is pretty typical for a 2 year old. Continue to give the minute warnings and maybe try to distract him when you leave. For example, ask him to help you find the car or have a race to see who can get to the car first, or look for rocks or leaves(boys love collecting those). If all else fails, which it sometimes will, then just pick him up and take him to the car kicking and screaming. This behavior won't last forever, especially when he sees it gets him nowhere. Good luck!

The only thinkg that worked when my kids were younger was giving them time messages: "OK, we have 30 minutes left", "we have 15 minutes left", " we have 10 minutes left and then we go", "OK 5 minutes, time to pack up", "2minutes, finish packing up". That way it's not a surprise and he knows that it's coming. We need to write a mommy guide so that things that we learned over the years can be on a FAQ page!

I think perhaps a 2, 1, 0 minute warning might work better. At least it did for my son at that age (5 minutes is forever to them). Also, you can try to give him some power by asking would he like to walk or be carried. It might not work the first time or two, but you're giving him an out. He can say, OK, I'll walk. Also, have you tried just leaving after the 0 minute warning? (In this case you wouldn't ask if he wants to walk or be carried). Just tell him it's time to go, pick up your things and walk out and load up the car so he has to come to you. It did wonders with my son. Good luck!

Just had to comment; I still have to drag my nearly 6yr old DS kicking and screaming, especially from the swimming pool. He doesn't do well with most transitions. At least the tantrums are getting shorter, at two he could keep it up for almost an hour. The best thing is to be as firm as possible, don't use the word OK, and head for the door. Another thing that works is to plan.( I am still working on this as an easily distracted adult) Let him know in the morning what is going on that day and try to stick to it, as in "Today we are going to the store and then to the park for 30 min and then home." I just read a book (can't remember the title) that said some kids just have to test the rules more than others. Good Luck!

Always helpful to mention what you're doing AFTER you leave. I, too, have had to carry a screaming, kicking kid out of a few places. You're not alone. :-) Keep giving the warnings at 5 min, 4 min, 3 min, etc. It does help some. And make sure to give praise when he DOES leave somewhere without a fuss!