Taking Care of Baby and Doggy??

hi A.! i totally hear you; i have a 2.75 yr old, a 1 yr old, and a TEN YR OLD PIT BULL who is a huge sissy mush dog that is afraid of the kids. but sometimes i find myself walking down the street w my big boy walking along side me dawdling, the baby in the stroller, and the poor old dejected dog dragging along on her leash looking like she lost her best friend, and i'm like, what has my life come to??? this is too absurd!

but here's something for perspective; my neighbor has a 4 yr old, a 3 yr old, is pregnant, and has 2 dogs, and her husband is often out of the country for weeks at a time, and like me, she has no relatives or help of any kind nor any money for a dog walker. i'm ashamed when i complain after i run into this woman on the street.

anyway i would say this to you; could you afford a dog walker? if you can get a great one, the dog will love to see him / her, it would be a real treat for the dog; maybe your relatives can pay for it since they obviously love the dog as well. if the dog walker can take the dog out for a big exercise walk every day, say for a solid hour, she could probably go a lot longer between walks.

my husband has to walk the dog first thing in the morning, maybe your husband can do the first walk and make it a good 15 or 20 minute jaunt around the block to make she she has enough chance to do her business.

but i would be a tiny bit concerned about a 6 yr old dog that has frequent accidents; is it possible the she has a bladder infection? a dog that age shouldn't have to go more than 3 times per day; of course ideally she would go out frequently but with a baby the dog simply has to learn to wait, this is the new pecking order; baby first, and everyone else 3rd, basically. anyway i think you should take her to the vet. is it also possible that she's having accidents on purpose to show you that her feelings are hurt about the baby? that's a pretty typical way that dogs show thier dismay. maybe you could take an extra 20 minutes or half hour every day after you put the baby to bed to play with the dog and really talk to her and give her lots of love. and maybe weekends when your husband is home from work, you could take her for a special walk, an hour or so, just the two of you, stopping for lots of intermittent dog hugs and snackies.

good luck!
J.

Hi A.! I am a first time mommy too with a daughter born last Sept. We live in Westchester right now. Our first "baby" is a 4 year old pug who definitely feels left out now. My husband also works crazy hours, so I had to juggle baby and the doggie most of the time. What I used to do is bundle my daughter up and put her into the baby bjorn and take Baxter for a walk (if the temps. weren't extreme). The fresh air was good for her and esp. now she loves to look around and observe everything - and I get some exercise too. I try to do it around the same time each day so Baxter can adjust as well. Hope this helps.

S.

A.,
i hear ya! My dog is my little girl and my son is my little boy. I could never choose between them both. Fortunately i have a yard. Maybe you could hire someone to come & walk the dog 2x/day till you get on a normal or better schedule. Your vet may be able to suggest someone. Thank god for parents & in-laws though. Good luck!

I wish I could be more help but I can at least sympathize. My two dogs don't know what to do with themselves and on top of it all, one of them keeps peeing over and over in the same spot in the house and it is driving my husband crazy! (He is not as much of a dog person as I am) All I can say is that in that book Baby Laughs by Jenney McCarthy, she talks about how she practically starved her dogs the first 3 months the baby was home. However, like you are thinking, when she got a grasp on things, she let the dogs in from outside and all is well. Once your baby gets on a regular schedule I think you will find it easier. You will be able to put your baby on your hip and walk the dog at the same time! :)) Best wishes to you my dear! N. w/NEDJ Enterprises

i hear you. i have a baby boy (well, he's turning two next sat. but he's still my baby) and a boston terrier and a husband who works long hours and i also live in nyc. i used to put the baby in the bjorn and that way i could successfully bring the dog to the curb without waking baby. it's easier than negotiating a stroller and dog leash, but that's possible, too, though it requires some acrobatics. i'm afraid there's no way around taking the baby out of his crib and putting him in another vessel when the dog has to pee, short of getting a dog walker.

A.,

Our best advice is to get a copy of Cesar Milan's book (aka the dog whisperer) and rent or buy season's 1 and 2 of his show. He has a regular program on the National Geographic Channel and has done episodes specifically about introducing a new baby into the home where there is a dog...The key ingredient is that the baby has to be seen as pack leader in addition to you and your husband and he shows you how to do that. Good luck and congratulations

P.

I am a new mother old a 6 month old. I ended up having a C-section unplanned so I was very tired and had limited things I could do. My husband was home the first 2 weeks but after that I was on my own. I am lucky to have two great dogs (a golden and a Min Pin) they have always adjusted to my life so this was no different. Some days they are lucky to go out and pee and others they get more play time. You may not think your baby is on a schedule but he really is and you should be able to just change when the dog goes out with the baby's daily ways. Also if you go out everyday at the same time with the dog the baby will get use to this and it will become part of his day. My son loves going for walks and he watches the dogs as well. Not sure if I helped but I hope things get back to normal for you as soon as possible. Good Luck
PS My husband works crazy hours as well hes in the Navy and is gone a lot too. Good Luck again M.

I will say that I felt this same way initially. Our daughter was born in Oct. of 06. She is now 16 mos.....so probably with a similar bday to your baby, just a year earlier. I wanted to throw the dog out the window when I could not deal with the balance of her crying or wanting to nurse and needing to take him out. Fast forward a year.....the baby is on a schedule and the dog only goes out three times a day. My husband takes him out at about 7:00 before he leaves for work. I take the dog and baby out sometime between 1-4. I work it around naps and any errands I am doing. Then my husband takes him out after he gets home from work. I do not leave water out all the time. I can not deal with more than one mid day trip out in this weather.... I am writing to let you know that it all gets a little easier with time. Also, the winter sucks.......wait until spring when the weather is milder and the baby is more patient:-)
I envy your in laws with a yard. We had no such luck with families far away. I say leave the dog there as long as you can so you can relax and enjoy your baby and survive the winter!
J.

How far do you have to go for your dog to do her business? We got a 6 week old puppy when my daughter was the age of your son. I simply put myself on a schedule of feed baby, play with baby, put her back to sleep, take the dogs out every three hours around the clock. With an older dog, of course it won't need to be that frequent!

If you have to travel a distance then I would say the baby bjorn is a great idea. I used to walk the dogs several miles 4 times a week that way even when it was below zero. I put my daughter in a snowsuit, put her in the babybjorn, wrapped a scarf around her face (the only skin left exposed) and tucked a blanket between her head and my chest and then over the rest of her to cut any of the remaining wind. It was nice for the dogs to get out and my daughter usually quickly fell asleep which was a wonderful break for me!

Good luck mama!

Hi A.-

I share your struggles of how to juggle baby and dog. We have a 6mos. old little girl and a 4 1/2 yr. old American Bulldog, who until Grace came along was our "baby". There was definitely a period of jealousy for our dog in the first few months of Grace's life. During that time my husband would take her on extra long walks at night and on the weekends. But, now they are best of friend. Sure, our dog does get ancy when Grace takes an extra long nap, thus delaying our walk. But, overall they just love each other. Our dog lays right next to Grace's activity mat and occassionaly gives her kisses. I think that Grace sat up on her own so early because she was trying to reach for her doggy.

I am sharing all this with you because I hope that you see that there will be a period of difficulty, but it will pass. I suspect your dog would much rather be with you and the baby, even it meant waiting to go outside, then away from you. Keeping your dog away will only lead to abandonment issues and increase jealousy toward your baby. I encourage you to bring your dog back into the family. It is a blast watching Grace fall in love with her doggy!

Good Luck!
S.

We are symbiotic! I am a 1st time mommy to a 5-month baby boy and a 3-year old Labradoodle, and we live in a 4-floor walk in the east village (very near the LES) and my husband travels for work and is often away... I don't have anyone nearby so I have dog AND baby quite often. When the baby was really new and I was recovering, I had a dog walker come for the afternoon and night walks. Now I do it all. I usually use the bjorn while I'm walking the dog because it's easier to handle the leash but I do get comments from people when we're all out walking at 9pm, especially when its bitterly cold. I have no other choice and it all seems to be working. The good news is that baby and dog utterly adore each other and sometimes, when my baby cries, the only thing that cheers him up is the sight of our dog. The interaction between the two of them is a riot. Our dog does not get as much of our time as he did before but I think he knows we love him just the same. The baby loves to watch me play with the dog so that's one way of me giving attention. Sometimes I find the walks tedious but they get me out of the house so I've learned to appreciate them. There's a dog-friendly coffee shop on 3rd and 1st avenue that we all go to most mornings - the baby loves it because he has lots of faces to look at and interact with and the dog loves it because they give him cookies. The only thing that concerns me about your current situation is the current sequestering of your pup. It's so important to integrate your family in whatever form it is so your dog doesn't get jealous of the baby and act out and also so your baby isn't afraid of or allergic to the dog. You may want to consider bringing your dog home, despite the inconvenience so your dog doesn't resent the baby in the long run. These are my thoughts and sympathies. I hope I've helped.

Pretty soon your son will be big enough to play with the dog. They will like going outside together.

Maybe keep the dog at your in-laws during the winter months and with you in the summer.

Take care. God Bless

i am fortunate to have a yard to just let the dog out in to do his business. maybe consider a dog-walker temporarily.

A.,

I live in OG so it's a little easier for me, but we have a 10 year old beagle, 9,8,5 & 2 year old children. Our beagle was also our first baby. When we brought our daughter home from the hospital our dog ignored me for many months, it broke my heart also. She did adjust though and has been the most amazing family dog. She is very protective of all of the kids and is their favorite buddy. She has a very special bond with our youngest who was born prematurely and had health issues, I swear she sat next to him every day and to this day he climbs in her dog bed with her to play. Beagles are brilliant dogs and I'm sure yours will adjust her walking needs and it will get so much easier as the baby gets older, not to say that helps now. Our beagle has added so much to our family over the last 10 years and I can't imagine raising the kids without her. Good luck, and congratulations on the baby!

HI, i went through the same thing as well. Your not alone! i have a yorkshire terrier and when i had my daughter things just changed..i too was busy working around the babys schedule and didnt have much time (or energy) to give my doggy the love and snuggling time like i used too. I still feel guilty b/c almost 2 years later..its still just not the same! Luckily i have the ability to let her outside in the yard, so walking her isnt really a problem, but maybe its the new motherly instinct or something that changes you..or at least it changed me. My daughter is now the #1 and the dog is..well..just a dog now. as i type this it sounds so cold, and i dont mean that i dont love my dog, she still sleeps in our bed at night!..but the love is different... well, i know i didnt offer you a solution..but just wanted u know that your not alone! you will get the hang of it!..im going to go give my dog a cookie now! lol......

One solution would be to get those indoor pee pads and in fact they do sell little "fake grass" doggy "toilets" which are washable of course. As your baby becomes a toddler I am sure it will work out fine. When my youngest was a year and my twins were four we got a poodle/terrier pup and our baby Rose grew up to have quite an affinity and love of animals and now she is employed by the Susquehanna SPCA in Cooperstown. At the time we lived in a 3 room apartment 2nd floor of a house. We used newspaper for training. It was wonderful for them all.

It sounds like you had your hands full for sure. All I can say is that before you know it your little one will be older and you'll be able to swing it all, no problem. I know I had some of the same feelings when we brought home our twins, but it didn't take long for everything to work itself out. You did the right thing and soon you'll have your other baby back with you.

Hi A.
I actually have a one-month old daughter and two dogs - a 6 year old American Bulldog and a 2 year old Chocolate Lab. This is a lot in a 2 bedroom apartment (3rd floor walk-up) in the Bronx! I actually worried a lot about how they would interact with her when she was born, since they were used to running the roost for years. Thankfully, they have adjusted well, but navigating walking them with her has been an issue.
I used to walk them three times a day (I walked them separately when I was pregnant since they are each about 100 pounds and really active), but went to twice a day when I was pregnant. I find navigating everything in the mornings to be most difficult - walking them and feeding the baby are the first two things I do. The question becomes, what to do first. My advice would be (if you can) to either walk your Beagle or have your husband walk her before he goes to work - even if it means really early - mine sometimes get walked at about 530 or 6am. I've found my two can "hold it" for at least twelve hours (and sometimes more like 14 or so) without getting fidgety. It's a lot to get a baby in a carrier to go out with the dogs, so I dont really do it often. Also, in the house, I tend to incorporate their activities into other things I would do with the baby, so I might throw their toys down the hallway for them to retrieve when I have her on the couch sleeping, eating, etc. or have them come up to sleep on the bed when I'm holding her.
I never tried this next one because the dogs were crazy about the baby from day one, but I had a friend who laid the baby out on a blanket and put a treat in his hand so the dog could eat it. This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
I have a ton of other anecdotes from my "three" kids if you need them - let me know how it goes.
A.