Taboo topic-Elective C-section

Updated on October 02, 2010
B.M. asks from Lamar, CO
50 answers

Hello- I am looking into asking for a elective c-section, I know this is kind of a taboo topic but let’s please keep the reply’s nice, I’m already having a hard enough time as is. I have done my research and know the risks, and the benefits of a v**inal delivery.

My personal reasons for wanting a c-section are mostly fear based, I have a bone tumor in my back and so my back is very weak and also a source of very bad chronic pain for me. I also have disc disease, and a deformity in one of my SI joints. I am very scared of labor because of my back issues. I also have been told by multiple doctors and my physical therapist that labor and delivery will be very h*** o* me, and won’t be pretty. The tumor also may cause issues with the epidural, but we cannot know for sure until I have it done, but it is a good chance it will.

I know the best way is a v**inal birth, for both me and LO. I know the recovery is so much better with a v-birth and I know that bonding is much faster also. (Along with the other how many reasons!) If I was reasonably sure the epidural would take, I would be willing to give it a try. But after talking to an anesthesiologist it looks very much like that will not work out, the odds are not in my favor at all for the epidural being able to do its job with the tumor in the way.

On top of all of this I have some mental-health issues that I cannot take proper care of while pregnant, so with being unable to take my medicine it makes everything much worse. The medications I usually take, I cannot take at all while pregnant, and they are a very big risk to LO, so not worth it. This is why I cannot manage my fear like I wish I could.

But I very much want to be able to enjoy my time being pregnant, but the last month or so I cannot enjoy it at all because I am so consumed by fear. I want to enjoy my time left with LO inside and treasure it, as this will be my only child.

So my question is: Have any of you had experience with an elective (or not, if you have positive information) c-section? How do I go about asking my doctor about one?

I have weighed the pro’s and con’s, and to me it seems like this would be the best option for my situation. But I don’t know where to go from there with my doctor. Also, my insurance will cover it, so that is not an issue.

Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you SO much for your support and advice! I will be talking with my doctor at my next appointment and see what they have to say. I hope it will be not too stressful, but I am now sure I'm on the right track so I will fight for what is best for me and LO. I will have to see if they want to try the epidural or if they are going to just knock me out becuase of the tumor. But in any case I think the recovery will be better then seriously messing up my back worse.

It is so great that everyone has been so nice and supportive!

Thank you again! It means a lot to me!

Featured Answers

A.G.

answers from Houston on

I cant offer much in the way of advice on this , but i wanted to say congratulations, and that i hope you dont have any trouble........or get negative responses.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

It sounds like an "elective" c-section may actually be a better option for you. Trust me, a c-section after a difficult labor is a horrible recovery, especially with back problems. My c-sections without labor were great recoveries and the third, I was actually out of recovery before the baby was ready. I didn't get to see her or anything before she was taken away, and bonding was just fine. GL, and congratulations!

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M.N.

answers from Pocatello on

I am going to offer my 2 cents for what it is worth. I have 2 kids, both VB's but I still have opinions on your situation.
If you are more comfortable with a C-section over a VB, by all means, do it. Don't end your pregnancy in fear. Decide what is best for you and move forward with that decision, not second guessing or doubting yourself.
Just talk to your doctor straight up, tell him your concerns and fears and your reasonings, I am sure it will be ok.
Also, you said something about bonding. I think if you carry a baby for 9 months and love that baby, think of that baby, your whole world revolves around that baby, well then I don't think you will have trouble bonding. How can you? Once they put that baby in your arms that you have felt kicking and lost sleep over, took care of, gave up things in your life for, you will love it no matter how it got here. People told me you bond better with a breast fed baby. I breast fed baby #2, not #1, I do not feel any closer or love the one I breast fed more. I love both my babies and did from the moment I found out I was carrying them.
Sounds like you are doing everything you can to insure a safe and healthy baby. If a c-section means a safe and healthy mommy, I say do it.
Good luck and congratulations.
M.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like you're a very well-informed mom! Bring up this issue with your OB and lay out all the issues you've presented here.

If a c-section will make the birthing process less stressful and anxiety-producing for you, then go for it! Remember, despite what some people are dying to tell you NO ONE gets a prize for "birthing their baby better" (i.e. v**inal childbirth without drugs) and more importantly, your new baby won't care one bit how he or she comes into this world!

Best wishes!

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D.B.

answers from Detroit on

I think there is so much negative info given out about c sections that women are terrified at the prospect of having one even when its necessary. I've had two c sections (both for medical reasons because I'm diabetic with a host of labor related issues and both were scheduled, but because of two different reasons, ended up being more the "emergency" type, if that makes any sense). I have to say, both were relatively easy to get through and the recovery wasn't as bad as I'd read it could be. I would caution you that they generally still do an epideral for c sections (so that you can remain awake but not feel it). You'll need to check with your OB about what your options are for a c section without the epidural because I'm not sure what they would do instead.

As far as "talking your doctor" in to having a c section, you have some REALLY valid reasons for requesting one. The strain with the tumor on your back is a REALLY REALLY valid reason, as I'm pretty sure you'll need your back to be in good working order to push for a regular delivery. Make sure your insurance company is also aware of the reasons, because some insurance companies like to try to deny claims for c sections that were considered "elective".

Best of luck to you mommy....I know choosing this option isn't something you came to lightly or on a whim and let NO ONE make you feel bad about this decision, least of all your OB.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

It sounds to me like you have every reason to make this choice. I would not feel bad about it at all, you do not have to choose to take the risk to be in unbearable pain when you will not be trading off a healthy baby. We all know children who are perfectly healthy who were delivered by csection, and your baby will too. Needing medication is a valid reason too, I quit breast feeding one of mine to be on medication that I needed, waited as long as I could, but some times you have to do what you have to do.

Stories like yours are why rigid arguments that are anti-this or anti-that in medical care are really so annyoing. You should not feel guitly about your needs and should be able to make a personal decision about your medical care without feeling presure from lay people who get on a popular band wagon. Doctors should be the ones who help you make these decisions, and you should not be worring about needing to hide your birth story from the natural brigade.

Just because you have a choice to try v**inal birth, does not mean that you are making a selfish decision.

Feel no more guilt about this, and I hope you feel supported!

M.

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K.I.

answers from Spokane on

Sounds reasonable to me, I say ask for it...just talk w/your Dr. and tell him that's what you'd like and why...although I am sure he already knows your medical history, I am surprised he hasn't already given you this as an option?

Don't feel bad for one little minute about not having a v**inal birth...sometimes things just don't work out!

Wishing you all the best!

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

I had a C-section also. Although it wasn't an elective c-section, I was pretty sure going into the hospital that my doctor was going to end up doing a c-section. (I guess it was elective on my doctor's part! hah hah) I think I preferred it to a v**inal delivery! The recovery was pretty straightforward if you listen to your doctor's advice (don't push it, rest), and I don't think there was any issue with bonding with my baby.

From what you describe, it sounds like it might be a very wise choice for you.You sound like you are concerned about what others might think - and women can certainly get nutty about this topic.

Don't let anyone tell you what's best for you and your baby - that's a decision that you and your doctor should make. go with what YOU think is best.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

It doesn't sound like your c-section would really be an elective. You have some very compelling reasons for this surgery.

I would not worry about bonding with the baby. I don't for a moment believe that it takes longer if you have a c-section. I have had three c-sections and I have felt 'bonded' with each of them as soon as they were placed in my arms. With my last c-section this was immediately after she came out and was momentarily checked by a nurse. I literally held her as they sewed me up.

I do believe that a women's mental state effects how your labor and delivery will go. If you are honest with your OBGYN and share about your tumor, back problems and mental health issues, and let him/her know how you think a c-section will help safely deliver your LO, then I can't imagine that it would happen any other way. If the doctor resists this idea, ask him to have you see a anethesioligist for a consult before you go into labor. If you can get this doctor to agree with you about the epidural then your OBGYN will have to help you.

Good luck, stay calm, but most of all, enjoy. I think you have valid reasons!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

;

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K.R.

answers from Denver on

You already have so many answers, but I had to add some stuff. I had c-sections with both my boys. First was an emergency and the second was I guess what you would call "elective". There was no way either one of those boys were coming out down south. (My uterus did not do it's job). That being said, recovery from the second c-section was night and day!! I bounced back quicker then some of my friends who had v-births even! People don't seem to talk about all that goes along with v-births, like tearing and swelling down there. All that being said, I have two incredible, healthy boys (that I immediately bonded with btw) and I am happy with the decisions we made regarding my health. I could be a better mom because there was no damage done to my body that wouldn't allow me to "mother" right away! Good luck!! And go with your gut!!!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Just wanted to say something about the bonding....
My second was an emergency C-section. After two days of labor he was NOT coming out...damn. So, run me to the OR and take that baby out. i was exhausted, throwing up, just a mess. The anestesiologist (wow, I spelled that wrong) gave me anti-nausea medicine and it knocked me out! I was stirred awake when they pulled him out and heard my husband sing to him, fell back asleep and woke up in my room. My husband was holding him and singing to him and when he saw me awake handed the boy over! I did not hold him the first 2 or 3 hours of his life (and with my first he was on the breast right away) and I don't feel like I bonded with him any less. Don't worry about not holding him/her right away, it made no difference to me!
L.

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L.C.

answers from Pocatello on

I am sure you have gotten a lot of reply's already and ones that are more informative than mine are. I just wanted to support you in your decision. Giving birth is not easy and normally I would say v**inal is the way to go. But you are in an abnormal situation. And luckily there is an alternative to a v**inal birth. You have obviously weighed out the pros and cons. Tell your doctor what you have written here and go from there. I am sure your doctor will be understanding of your concerns and help put your mind at ease. Good luck with birth and your new little one.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I don't think this is "Elective" it sounds to me like it is medically necessary!! I urge you to talk to your OB/GYN immediately about this. In fact, I am surprised that he/she hasn't already broached the subject with you, surely he/she knows the medical history of your back issues and the tumor.
As someone else said, when I think of "elective" C section I think of someone planning their delivery date around some event that they don't want to miss...not someone who has legitimate medical reasons to be leary of the thought of a v**inal birth.
Every birth is different...even different pregnancies with the same Mom are different!!! My own daughter went through about 12 hours of labor and over an hour of pushing, to deliver her first child 10 years ago. This past January, she labored here at home until we finally convinced her it was time to head to the hospital....1 hour and only TWO pushes later...our little grandson made his very smooth appearance into the world!! You could talk to a midwife in conjunction with your ob/gyn if you wanted to explore the possibility of a v**inal birth, there are so many different positions for labor and delivery now...maybe there are some that would be worth looking into for you, in order to protect your back.
Don't worry about bonding with your little one...you will be able to make that bond as strong as you want...no matter what your birth experience is!!!

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R.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I have had 3 C-sns and I don't think you should feel like youare doing something bad or wrong. It's almost necessary. Be kind to yourself and don't blame yourself. I recovered the best from my C-sn when it was elective (the 3rd one), I tried to labor the first time, went in to an emergency C, then tried to VBAC the 2nd one, went in to an emergency C. Finally I had no choice but to have an elective C and it was by far the easiest one, fastest recovery. When you go in to it prepared and well informed like you are - it makes all the difference. So good luck and don't beat yourself up about this.
God Bless.

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E.H.

answers from Kokomo on

It does not sound like it is elective considering your back problems. Just tell the Dr. everything you said on here. The only thing I would worry about is if the tumor causes problems with an epideral, then if it will also complicate the spinal, which is what is typically given for the c-section.
I had a great first cs, and am close to having my second one. I can tell you that is absolutly does not cause you to have problems bonding with your little baby.

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

I've gotta say that this was NEVER my problem ;) One of my biggest fears the past few months of pregnancy was HAVING to have a c-section. I needed my OB to reassure me that the labor I hoped for had a good chance of happening. I feel that you deserve the same thing, an OB who will do his/her best to allay your fears however possible (as long as it is medically sound.)
It sounds to me like you have many reasons to fear a v**inal delivery...when I think of 'elective C-section', I think of moms I have heard of who had them so as to not miss out on a big football game or something like that, I do NOT think of moms who have very real medical issues that could potentially harm themselves and/or their babies.
If I were you, I would write out exactly what you have told us here and share that with my OB, I'm pretty sure s/he will be supportive, and if not hopefully you will still have time to find an OB who will be.
Good luck to you!

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E.B.

answers from Tampa on

Simply ask your OB and discuss your position as you've done in this post. I recently had a non-elective c-section due to preeclampsia. The recovery was very difficult the first 3 days, but I got through it with pain medication and my husband's help. (The nurses were great, but I'd rather have a loved one's shoulder to lean on when I'm hurting) Just be sure to ask the nurses to bring you meds on a regular basis and wake you up EVEN if you're sleeping; no need to be a martyr. The idea is to keep the pain under control. I've learned that a happy mommy makes for a happy baby....trust your instincts and all will be well. Good luck!

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E.E.

answers from Portland on

I had both v**inal and c-section births. There are positives and negatives about both. It sounds like you need to have it c-section and it isn't elective
As far as bonding goes I found it much easier to bond after the c-section. I wasn't exhausted from HOURS of being in labor in the middle of the night. The C-section was scheduled for early morning and being so rested was a very pleasant start to having my second child.
Be advised it is major surgery and you will be in pain for a while and unable to go up and down stairs. I highly recommend having someone around for first week or two after baby is born to do EVERYTHING...yes everything. Your only job should be to feed and diaper and love baby. No laundry or chores or cooking you won't be up to it.

Do what you need for your health, your baby needs a healthy mommy more than an all natural birth.

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K.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

There's a lot of good answers on here - I agree with most that you should go for the C-section with all your medical issues. I had a v**inal birth, and I know you are worried about recovery with a C-section, but I was in a WORLD of pain after my v**inal delivery and could not get out of bed for several days at the hospital or at home, so there's no guarantee that choosing the v**inal delivery will give you a faster recovery. I've never had a C-section but it sounds like it's the way to go for you! Good luck! :)

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J.H.

answers from Denver on

I know you have gotten a ton of responses here --as a birth doula I have one thought you might want to think about -- letting your body go into labor before the c-section. Scheduling it or more like planning it might be a good option -- due to the fact that hormones that are released when your body prepares to have the baby are essesstial and make recovery, breast feeding, bonding, etc. a little easier. it does sound like you have a good reason to have a c-section and if you have this fear, and do a trial of labor (attempt a v**inal delivery) your fear might pevent that from happening...but if you at least wait until you are in labor to go in to have your c-section, your body is more ready to foster baby outside the womb. Good luck and know that it is okay -- whatever choice you make -- because you are getting the opportunity to choose and that is what is important. As a doula, we want mama's to have the birth that they are most comfortable with and remember the outcome to have a healthy mom and baby is what you are trying to achieve!

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A.P.

answers from Denver on

Tell your doctor you want an elective C-Section, and they should schedule your pre-ops and birth date with the hospital and obstatrition of your choice. There is nothing wrong with your decision and you do not need to justify it to anyone, it is none of their business and the less stress you have the less stress on your baby. Recovery is different for everyone, I bounced back in a few days, I think a lot of that has to do with posative outlook so do what will make you have a wonderful delivery:)

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

I have to say that after reading about your medical issues, your choice of an elective c-section really makes a lot of sense.... In the end, the right decision for you is the right decision. No matter what other people (even well meaning but judgmental people) think, you are the best judge for you and your little one.

I've known several women who had to have preplanned medical c-sections, and after they made peace with their decision, which they were able to do before the birth, they had no trouble bonding with their baby.

G-d bless you and a give you a safe delivery, whatever choice you decide. And whatever choice it is---it is right. Trust your heart. Your fear is probably there for a good reason.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Wow, with the back issues you described I kind of think it is a no brainer. I mean if you in your heart had a huge passion to go v**inal, then you could try it, but I am not getting that from your post. Many people do recover fine from c-section. If that is the best decision, talk to your dr, make it with confidence and go ahead and enjoy your last month. You are running the show regardless and you need to do what is best for all!

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D.B.

answers from Provo on

You probably already received your answer, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your situation! And that I hope everything works out and you have a comfortable delivery! My sister had to have a c-section because her first was breach, and they just planned it that way with her second. She LOVES it!!! She always tells me how nice it is to not have to sit around and wait to start labor, you can schedule it for when it works for you. She also stayed in pretty good shape while she was pregnant and all of her recoveries were super fast! I think you should totally go for it! At least for me, my hormones were enough to handle on their own while pregnant, you don't need that extra stress or fear!!! If that's what You want, then tell your doctor! Don't let them make the decision for you. If they have thoughts and concerns about your decision, they can tell you and you can talk about it. Or you can get a second opinion. But most likely it won't matter either way. My dr's were always really great, and if you tell them your concern I'm sure they'll know just how to help you as well. There is nothing wrong with wanting a c-section! and the sooner you can decide, probably the better. So you don't have to worry about it and can enjoy your pregnancy!!

So no matter what anyone else says, we're totally here to back you up with whatever you decide! :) I wish you the best of luck! And super congrats!! Having children is really the best thing ever! :) It's totally worth all the pain and troubles they put us through. ;)

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

i think that you have the information you need. talk to your dr and discuss what you said above with him and tell him you want a c section. does it hurt afterward? yes, but having the fear removed of having a v** delivery would probably make the whole process easier. do not be afraid...do what you feel you need to do and enjoy being pregnant. i had a c sec because of medical issues and it was the best thing to do in the end for me. yes the recovery is longer and you have to take care of yourself and your incision, but it all worked out. have someone help with the baby and you after you come home from the hospital so as not to over do it, but within a few weeks you wont think anything about it and it will be a distant memory.

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C.W.

answers from Austin on

Do what makes you comfortable. To me, it seems that some (not all... but quite a few) natural birth mothers are so "open minded" to the idea of a 100% natural birth that they close their minds to the fact that what is comfortable or right for them, isn't what is comfortable or right to others. I would just mention your fears to you OBGYN at your next visit, and discuss the option of a c-section... he (or she...) should be able either tell you what to expect, or maybe even find a way to alleviate your fears and look into other options... IF that is what you want to do. This is YOUR body, and YOUR baby, and it is your right to do it your way.

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J.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do not worry about this and it is not a taboo topic! It is only taboo for those who are judgmental. I had 2 elective C-sections and they both went perfect. It is a very controlled environment because it is considered a major surgery. You have a team of ob/gyn experts around you the entire time: your doctor, anesthesiologist, a couple of nurses for you and a couple of nurses for the baby. They are ready for anything.

My first baby was breech and flipped head down at the last minute, literally. My doctor asked me what I wanted to do because I had a scheduled c-section set up anyway. I asked what he felt since he has been an ob/gyn for 40 years. He recommended the c-section. Apparently when babies flip to the head down position at the last minute the cord is sometimes tight around the neck. Then you go to deliver and the baby doesn't get oxygen so you end up in an emergency c-section anyway. I opted for the c-section. Sure enough, when he went in there to take my baby out the cord was wrapped around his neck tight. I cringe to to think what might have happened.

Do not worry about what others think. Who cares, you know? You have to do what is best for you and your baby. If I were in your shoes I would definitely do a c-section. If your doctors recommended it then do it. They are not all greedy money machines that people make them out to be. They actually want a good outcome for you and your baby.

Also, the hospital will want to do a Hep B shot on the second day in the hospital. Don't do it. Wait until he/she is a little older. Check out Ian's Voice website for allergic reactions to the Hep B vaccine.

Good luck!!!!

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Bless you. You know what is best for your baby and your body. I'm a nature-birth freak, but I wouldn't judge you in a million years. How you choose to birth is your business and no one loves this baby more than you, so don't appologize for your choices! It is YOUR choice to birth in the way you believe safest for you. Remember that all statistics are for a perfectly healthy woman. You have a lot of added variables.

Don't be embarrassed to bring it up with your doctor. In my experience, the difficulty is to try to stop a doctor from doing a c-section, not trying to get them to do one, lol. Just tell him or her your fears and desires and I'm sure you'll have their support.

Congrautlations. Remember that you are mom and make the call on what is right for you.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Show your doctor your post. He or she should know each and every issue and discuss them top to bottom. Get a second opinion if you want and then follow medical advice. But I think you have laid out a compelling case. And I am NOT pro-elective c-section.

I hope you have a lovely birth experience and suppoirt who can help you during pregnancy, in L&D, and afterward. Be an advocate for yourself now. It is good trainin becaue it will be your job to be an advocate for your child with his or her doctors too.. With birth and new motherhood comes stress on you and your family. Never ever feel bad for asking for help and making doctors listen.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I haven't had an experience with this, but I think with your back issues you have a valid reason for wanting a c-section.

The thing that concerns me the most is the tumor/epidural issue. You may have to be completely put out to have a c-section if they cant give you an epidural. Just something to be aware of.

And I wouldnt worry about the bonding issue. I've had friends who had to have csections for various reasons (breech, cord wrapped around baby, baby too big, etc) and none of them had problems bonding with the baby.

I think you should tell the doctor what the other doctors and physical therapist told you, and tell him/her that you would be most comfortable scheduling a c-section rather than risking further damage to your back. In your case, if it did cause further damage, you're risking a much worse recovery time with a v**inal birth.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Don't worry, just ask for what you want. Many of my friends had elective C sections. The hospital in Manhattan a few of them went to makes any excuse in the book to do c-sections rather than v**inal for easier scheduling purposes in such a busy hospital. Don't feel bad. It's your delivery. People do both. I did two v**inal births NO drugs, and my 3rd was an emergency c-section. Recovery from the c-section was brutal. To me it outweighed the pain of natural v**inal. Either one is tough in it's own way, the v**inal during, the c-section after, but you will be fine either way and feel much stronger afterwords and in love with your baby! The bonding was no different with my c section than the other two. All of them were strange to me at first with hormone baby blues, but we bonded like gangbusters after that.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

I would take all the information you have gotten from your other medical professionals and present them to your OB. It sounds like you have a good case for opting for a c-section.

There is one thing you didn't address here (so I'm not sure if you have considered it), that being the position you could give birth, if you did it v**inally. I gave birth to two babies on my hands and knees, and one while I was squatting next to the bed. Would either of these positions relieve the pain and/or reduce the chance of further injury? Would your OB be supportive in allowing you to deliver the baby in one of those ways? If you haven't, I suggest you discuss those positions with your PT. I understand your fear about the epidural, so that's why I brought it up, I'm not trying to dissuade you from having the birth you feel is best for you and the baby.

I wish you well and hope your OB is open to discussing all of your options.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

This would be a medically necessary c-section... not an elective.
Also make sure your Insurance WILL cover it.

ALSO, due to your condition... an Anesthesia Doctor and the Surgeon/Your Doctor, would need to be consulted with ... in order to FULLY assess your condition and anesthesia options... per the c-section. BEFORE your c-section is performed.
PERHAPS even, during the c-section... your Doctor who handles your Tumor situation... might need to be there as well... to also oversee the surgery. Usually, a "Team" of Doctors/Anesthesiologists are there anyway, for a c-section. That is how it was at my surgery.

I have had 2 c-sections... with both my pregnancies. One was an emergency c-section. The 2nd was by choice, because I did not want to have a VBAC, after having had my c-section. Both were covered by insurance.

all the best,
Susan

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

If an epidural will not work for labor, then that means you will have to be completely knocked out for an elective C-section. right?
Having been through induced labor and natural labor without epidural I can tell you it is intense, but it really isn't that painful-- at least it wasn't for me. I used hypnobirthing techniques. I know that's not what you are looking for and I hope you can find a way to manage your fears. Perhaps some of the hypnobirthing stuff could help with the fear management? I hope you are able to enjoy these last few months/weeks of pregnancy and get a good healthy delivery -- because really, that's all the matters, right?

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K.N.

answers from Austin on

You've gotten so many responses... Even though this might not be part of your original question, you might also want to consider researching whether you want to tie your tubes as part of your c-section. I only mention this because you stated that this is intended as your only pregnancy. If you are certain you don't want to be pregnant again AND you are considering a c-section, then your doctor should be able to tie your tubes fairly easily at the same time. Anyway, something to mull over if you don't want to be on other birth control methods for the next 25 years.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

You have legitimate concerns, with the bone tumor and back issues, I can see why you would consider a c-section. Just talk it over with your Dr. and do what you together feel is right.

I would consider elective c-section as one with a very healthy mom and pregnancy, and doing it for easy or cosmetic reasons, but yours is more medically inclined.

Don't let anyone harass you no matter what you decide, it sounds like you are doing your research and well informed.

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

An epidural is not a necessary part of v**inal birth. I'm sure you've heard horror stories from plenty of women who say that labor is unbearable but it's been done without painkillers since the beginnning of time and it's healthier for both you and the baby. I don't know anything about tumors so I can't possibly comment on that but I can say that not everyone has "back labor" so to speak. My back was a tiny bit sore in labor but nothing that standing in the shower didn't take care of.

IMO any good doctor would not schedule an unnecessary surgery simply because of fear. Now if the tumor could possibly be affected negatively in labor that's different. But don't you need an epidural in surgery? Natural childbirth was the best decision I've ever made and was the most empowering experience I've ever had.

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N.K.

answers from Seattle on

Sorry for being late to respond, but I thought I probably have the most in common with you and I am a mom of four. I was paralyzed from the waist down due to caude equina syndrome when I was 18. Through surgery I was able to walk again, but do to some complications I crushed two vertebrate (S1-L5) to a big pulverized mess over the couple of months that I was learning how to walk again. I had those fussed together with bone (no metal). Two years later I became intentionally(I say this because people thought I was crazy) pregnant with my first child. I was dead set on an out of hospital, midwife attended homebirth. I had several neuro complications that we had to attend to, and I knew that an epidural wasn't an option for me if I wanted one, so I was glad that I was really commited to a drug free birth. He was born easily out of the hospital, with no complications. Nobody knew what to expect. I didn't know if I would end up in a wheelchair again or not, but for me it is what I wanted to do. I should add that I was paralyzed by hopping off of an eight inch step, so I generally just go fo the gusto with my life. My next child was born at home. My third child was a 13 week old fetus when I needed emergency spinal surgery to correct a reaccurrence of the original injury. I had the surgery awake under spinal anesthesia. It is rare to do that, my case has been written about and presented at anesthesia conferences,and also shows that people with severe L4-5 abnormalities can have superior diaphragphm down coverage with spinal anesthesia. This is also the choice during many c-sections. My third baby was born via a normal med free v**inal birth, but in a hospital. Number 4 was also a v** birth. I have had a total of 8 spinal surgeries now, and if I were goiong to have more children I would continue to attempt v** births. I am NOT trying to convince you to change your mind. I just like to let people know that just because one thing about your body is different doesn't mean everything is. I personally find great solace in all the things that I can do. Even if the thing I can do is make the very best decision to go a different road than everyone else. Best of luck to you and your little one.

-N.

K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

KiKi,
I'm sure if you tell your Doctor just what you told us, you both can come up with what will work best for you and your baby) I opted for C-Section and feel as though it was the best decision ever for ME and my BABY! Everyones experiences are completely different but I had very little pain with my C-Section. I did get sick from the epideral though (and by sick I mean, just puked about 5x after the baby was born, but not a big deal at all!). I was able to bond with my baby right away and was basically able to enjoy the whole experience! I was up and walking around 2 days after the delivery:) Please, please, please don't listen to any negative comments you may read about or hear that imply that you're any less of a Woman or Mother because you opt for a C-Section or "took the easy way out"... With child birth, there is NO EASY WAY OUT! It just drives me insane to hear Women make ridiculous comments like that! I don't care which part of your body your baby comes from, it's still child birth and you're still gonna be an awesome Momma no matter what! So you do what is best for you and your baby! :)

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

This doesn't sound elective to me. I am a huge supporter of natural childbirth and wished that I could have had it natural, but c-sections are there for a reason, and your reason is definitely legitimate. I went through natural labor, but he just wouldn't deliver, so had to have the emergency c-section. The second was scheduled. The scheduled was much easier to recover from.

Whatever is safer for you and your child is the best option. And you can bond just fine after a c-section. By the time my daughter was done being checked out, I was in the recovery room with her and bonded just fine. My son was in NICU for an hour, and we also bonded just fine.

I also want to suggest getting a HypnoBabies CD for c-sections. It is just calming, affirming words that can really help you through the preparation.

If you have any other questions about the c-section, let me know.

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P.H.

answers from Denver on

Kiki,

Good luck to you! Do what is best for you... and if your doctor doesn't support you, find one who does!

Paula :)

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N.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there, I know I'm a little late chiming in but wanted to share my experiences with you. 1st baby - v**inal delivery, delivery and recovery was horrible! The epidural stopped working when it came time to push baby out and so I could feel every contraction and suffered intense back pain, I never thought I'd be a screamer but boy was I wrong. I also have back problems and knew going in what I was in for but didn't realize just how bad it would be. I wouldn't have wished it on anyone, and right after delivery I just passed out, I couldn't even open my eyes to see what my baby looked like or take a few hours to bond with her, she was my only child that I don't "rememer" what happened after she was born because my body was so physicallly exhausted and I'm sure traumatized by what I had just gone through. On top of that, recovery was no easier or faster than my C-section recovery, I literallly wabbled around for 2 weeks not being able to sit comforably and don't even start on the topic of sex after a v**inal delivery, it hurt SO bad for at least 3 mnths after having her that I thought I'd never be able to have sex again.

Well 4 yrs later I had my second child. He was a very big boy and at 39 weeks weighed 10/2 on sonogram measurements. The sonographer basically went over what could go wrong with v**inally pushing out such a big baby and that baby can get stuck, break a shoulder bone, or IF he won't fit through, have to be pushed back inside of me and then have the C. When I knew my baby was at risk too, I opted for the C-section and sure enough he came out weighing 10/3. My OB told me she knows I made the right decision and based on his shoulder size and my size, it would have been a very rough delivery. Recovery from the C was very rough but I can't say which one was tougher, they were both very painful just in different ways. However, I was treated with stronger pain meds with my C so I think that did help as well. I also know I bonded so much quicker with my second baby because I was fully awake and alert and was able to breastfeed him right away and wasn't too exhausted to spend those first few hours bonding with him like I was with my first.

2 yrs later, I went in for a repeat C to have my 3rd child and everything finally went great! : ) Recovery was so much less painful and I almost felt like I was taking a mini vaca while in the hospital. : )

There's reallly no easy road to take, if you want a C section, I'm sure based on your medical history that your OB would have no problems giving you one, and don't feel ashamed having one, you have plenty of valid reasons of needing one. Some women have them these days just out of fear w/out even having any medical reasons to back them up and it seems more and more OB GYN's are performing them out of convenience to themselves.

So either way, your baby has to be brought into this world and there's no easy way to do it but do what YOU feel is best for you and your baby, not what anyone else thinks. Good luck with everything and let us know how everything goes!!

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

I am normally totally pro v**inal birth and anti cesarean. I've had 6 surgical deliveries and would not wish them on my worst enemy. HOWEVER while reading your current medical history and the fact that you don't plan to have any more children (multiple cesareans greatly increase the risk to both mom and babe) I think that having a cesarean is your best option.

I would be very concerned about that tumor on your back during a v**inal delivery and NOT because of an epidural. You may not need an epidural at all for v**inal delivery. But with all those back issues I'd be concerned about the affects of delivery. Side lying or squatting with assistance might be the best pushing positions with those conditions, but I'm not certain.

I highly suggest wither SCS or v**inal delivery, that you get a birth doula!

S. (Birthspring Doula Services in Houston TX. I can help you find a doula in your area if you like.

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A.M.

answers from College Station on

Have you concidered the fact that they do a spinal tap in a lot of hospitals? I had one while have to have a planned c-section with my second and they stuck me in the back just like the epidural with my first. I am not sure but if the epidural wont work wouldnt that mean a spinal wouldnt either? Have you concidered a IV drip? Those take the edge of the pain... I really think you should consult your ob and have him lay out all the pros and cons of this issue. Just say hey doc I was wondering if a c section would be better for me? Congrates on your sweet baby and I hope you have a smooth birthing experience regardless if its c-section or v**inal! I had 2 c sections and if I have another child want to try v**inal bc of the horid experiences I had with both!

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

It sounds to me like you don't NEED a c-section, but you have valid **medical** reasons to want one. A difficult labor isn't only painful for you, but you may be at risk for other complications. I would bring up your back concerns with your OB, tell him what you've learned from the anesthesiologist, and ask him if he thinks a c-section would be a good option for you.

Don't be afraid to speak up with your doctor. The only way he's going to know anything about you is if you tell him. I had to get over my fear of speaking up, and it's made a HUGE difference in the care I receive.

And I hear you about enjoying the last bit of pregnancy. It's much easier to do so if you feel like you have everything planned and set, and all your ducks in a row. No need to worry if you don't have to!

Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

If I were in your shoes I would most definitely opt for a C-section! You need to put your health issues at the forefront here so that you can be healthy and happy once your LO arrives! Many babies are born via C-section and they thrive and bond with their mothers just as well as v-birth babies. God Bless you as you enjoy the last months of pregnancy...

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't have time to read all the responses you've gotten, so I'll add my two cents' worth anyway. Contact your insurance to see if you can have a consult with a midwife. Also, contact several doulas and see how they can help you. I don't blame you for being afraid. With preparation, planning, and prayer, I believe you and your baby can have a beautiful birth, even if it is a c-section. Consider all options and don't let the medical community convince you that a c-section is the only way to go. You do have other options. God bless you!

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L.R.

answers from Portland on

Late input here, but thought I'd respond.

I was dead set against a c-section, used a midwife because of their lower section rates, told her to do everything she could to avoid a section, etc. Guess what? Yeah, I needed a c-section.

After working through my emotional issues with being unable to deliver naturally, I can honestly say that in my case at least, the section was very easy to recover from. I was up walking around, showering the next day, and back to my usual activities the day I went home from the hospital. I had very little pain, and you can hardly see the scar. Not to mention my son emerged looking great because he hadn't been squeezed though a straw!

I read on here all the time about women having difficult recoveries from v**inal births, and I think how lucky I was to deliver the way I did. I know I can't speak for everyone, but I wanted you to hear a positive c-section story.

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