T-ball Team Mom Bring Candy for Snacks

Updated on April 29, 2011
S.T. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
25 answers

Ok, so my husband is the coach of my son's 4 year old team and the team Mom has been bringing candy for the kids after the game every time(Pop Rocks, Full size Hersey Bar's). Her family is not in the best shape so it makes me understand, and I am not trying to be mean, BUT how to I (or my DH the coach) let her know in a nice way that those are not the best snacks. If she gives them to my son I have to be 'the mean mom' and take them away because we do not allow those kinds of snacks very often, and they have 2-3 games or practices a week. I asked my DH last night if i should cut up the rest of the oranges we had to bring and he said no that he asked her to stop bringing 'kids crack' as he called it to her and my DH is not very tactful so I am afraid someone will get offended if I don't step in. What would you say/do?

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is why the soccer rec league my kids participated in had a strict "no snacks" policy. And I'm so glad they did. Seriously, kids do not need a snack at every practice and every activity. Why must every little thing involve kids do involve treat foods? It's better if each family plans for their own kids' needs. You're never going to please everyone anyway. As soon as you say "no candy" someone else is going to have an issue with drinks with high fructose corn syrup. Then you'll have allergy concerns. It never ends. I'd push for a "no snacks" policy period. And suggest the team Mom plan a team outing after the last game to an ice cream place instead. Every practice does not need to be celebrated with treats. IMO, better to save that for a one time event to look forward to at the end of the season.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

This is a job for the coach, not a micromanager on the side. If another parent were upset about it, the appropriate action for them would be to discuss it with the coach. Since you're married to the coach, then talk to him and ask him to clear this up. It is his choice how he wants to handle it but since he is a coach of a team of 4 year olds, he should probably employ a little bit of tact if he plans on continuing to coach.

2 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Most teams have a snack guidelines list. Just print it out and hand it to her, thank her for being thoughtful but let her know that you are going to implement a new snack schedule.

Really, why is she bringing snacks all the time? Set up a snack rotation. Take a clipboard, put a few snack ideas on it, the dates of the practices/game in a row and pass it around so parents can sign up for a day.

Also, we don't even do snacks for practices... maybe some drinks but that's it. Snacks are usually on game day.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Your son gets a Hershey's bar. You get in the car and break a square or two off and give it to him. He is not going to die or get fat by having one or two squares of chocolate.
My other thought is....talk to the team mom and ask if you can be in charge of snacks every other practice. (so if you practice on Monday/Wed you could be in charge of snacks on one of those days). Tell team mom you totally appreciate how much she is helping with the team and that you would love to help her shoulder some of the burden. Then, have a sign up sheet where different parents bring snacks on game day. Just be aware that some people (and I am probably one of those people) will bring special treats for the kids.
You don't have to be the mean mom and take the whole snack away, just give him a couple of bites...that's what I do!
L.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Your hubby was rude, and she has every right to bring whatever kind of snakes she wants for the kids. If that make you the "mean mom" when you take it away that is on you, not on her. If I was her I probably would have had some not so nice words to say.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

Why not do a sign up sheet where a different mom volunteers to bring snack each time

3 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, wow! You guys have T-ball practice/games 2-3x a week? All my kids only had 1x a week for games/practice at the T-ball level!

Secondly, wow! Your team mom is on the hook for ALL the snacks? We have always divided it up and everyone takes turns bringing snack!

Third, I probably would not have said anything and if I felt it inappropriate I would be the 'mean mom' and OWN it! I would NEVER take it upon myself to dictate to the team what they get to have as snack.

Fourth, The kids only get snacks after games here...not after practices too!

~Amazing how different everything is! My 6th and final boy is going thru T-ball as we speak....and now I am longing for some PopRocks! Those were AWESOME!

2 moms found this helpful

C.D.

answers from Columbia on

Do an of the other parents brings snacks? What we have always done (I have coached my kids sports for years) is make up a schudule for those willing to contribute. We make up a calendar of all the games and practices and let families sign up for the days they would like. Pass the calendar around to a couple of other parents first so she doesn't have the chance to sign up too many times. That way, even if she does bring sweet treats it won't be every time. Also, if you present the calendar to all of the parents your husband can send a note home as the coach suggesting some healthy snack options parents can bring when it is their turn.
Good luck, and I think it is sweet thatyou are trying not to hurt her feelings. Sometimes parents like her just want the kids to like them, and they really don't think about the unhealthy habbits they are fostering.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

you guys need to be dividing up the snack duty! Here is what you do: Your husband will say to this woman that because she is the team mom he needs her to make out a snack schedule for games only with all the parents. Tell her that snack should be reasonably healthy-no candy. And then he should say no more snacks for practices b/c this will confuse parents and make them think they should be bringing something.

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

All the teams my kids were on had a sign up sheet for snacks, so it was a different family bringing snacks each week. Usually the coach outlined the snack policy at the first parent meeting (only water and fruit during the game, treats and/or juice ok after the game.) Some parents' ideas of treats were energy bars, and some were donuts, to each his own! And of course the occasional piece of candy was there too.
I personally like the way your husband phrased it (lol!) and I doubt anyone would get too offended, I mean he is there to provide guidance and good sportsmanship which includes keeping your body hydrated and energized. As far as stepping in, I wouldn't do it, let HIM be the coach and deal with the parents (I'm sure you do enough of that as it is!)

1 mom found this helpful

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

let the coach be the bad guy. He has to be more tactful. He's the coach, AKA the "Guy In Charge." If she doesn't like Coach's rules or won't abide by them, then she doesn't need to bring any snack at all or maybe her son should find a different team. I mean common - this lady is kind of crazy to bring chocolate bars to a sports team practice. A bag of oranges costs less than a pack of candy bars.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I would eliminate the "team mom" bringing snacks. Either let each family bring their own snack or have a rotating snack schedule, and list what appropriate snacks are. Specifically say, "No Candy!" on the list. Have any of the other parents complained to your husband about the snack mom bringing candy?

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S.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

My daughter went to gymnastics and they would form a line to the office at the end and they woudl give out candy. I thought it was horrible. Such a healthy sport and they 'treat them' with candy? Is the motiviation for them attending, the candy or the sport? They are doing something healthy and fun, candy has no place in my opinion. They also did it a dance place and i told the owner i didnt like that. She was flexible and tried different things, even stickers. Im amazed that some parents didnt care.

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B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Write it out. Have a sign-up sheet for snacks and list acceptable snacks, and unacceptable ones. We never allowed "kid crack" at our sports practices. Unless you count popsicles as junk food. But we didn't. Usually we had water/gatorade and fruit/crackers/pretzels etc. If you have a written policy, that will help with enforcement.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

It will be hard to do it mid-season, but a "snack" policy should be in place from the beginning for future seasons. It can state with sign-up materials what types of foods are allowed. From your description I take it she's just bringing this stuff and giving it out every practice and game and not just when it's her turn to bring the snack -is that right? If it's only when it's her turn, I would just roll with it, but if it's several times a week every week -that is hard. Maybe if there's not a designated snack list in place now, you could go ahead and start one.

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O.S.

answers from Birmingham on

He's the coach and he handled it just fine. Each family needs to teach their child what is or isn't a healthy snack. When something is offered, say thanks and walk off the field. You can always have something else packed for your child/children to give to them as you're walking to the car. Collect the unwanted snacks and give to your school teacher. Some of them have a goodie box and they enjoy getting all sorts of things.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

At our T-Ball games the parents in charge of snacks buy the whole team "Team Tickets" from the concession stand. The parents take their kids to the concession stand after the game and let them pick out what they want their kids to have.

I can honestly say that my parents were very strict when I was growing up about food and as soon as I became an adult I went crazy and ate nothing but candy bars while I was in college. I would grab a Bab Ruth for breakfast and a Butterfinger for lunch then maybe eat something like mac and cheese for dinner. Kids will eventually eat everything they were denied as a child.

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O.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would suggest having a different family bring snacks each practice/game. I think that is totally fair. That way the responsibility doesn't fall on the same person each time (you can present it that way). I agree though. I wouldn't want my child having candy each time. It is not the most nutritious option.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

let him wear the "big boy pants" .....let him be the coach he is.....& let him handle it.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would have the coach handle it. First, I wonder, do the other parents care, or are you alone? If you are the only concerned party, he probably doesn't want to step on her toes. We have a similar tball schedule this season, so I can relate to that one. If others are concerned, the coach should just be honest. IF the coach handles it, he is the man in charge. If you handle it, it could be considered "meddling". Coach either needs to tell her other parents want to help with snack and ask for a sign up sheet or he needs to be completely honest and tell her that some "parents" are getting concerned about the amount of candy the kids are getting. THis all needs to be prefaced with thanking her for taking on snack and the thought is appreciated (even if the treat is not).

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Wow, I'm really surprised at the number of people who say you shouldn't be bothered by another mom giving full size candy bars to your 4yo son, 2 times per week. I would be upset of another mom did that, though I would try to remember that she probably thought she was "helping" (sort of sad, if she thinks that is helping, but still).

I do agree with the other parents who say that you should let your DH, who is the coach, handle this. That is his job. That is not to say, though, that you can't offer some good suggestions (like the letter/notification of what an appropriate snack is, or sign up sheets for snacks, etc.). But offer him the suggestions, and then let him handle it his own way.

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S.B.

answers from New York on

I have a friend who son was into sports and they had the parents take turns each week bringing in snack but they also gave out a letter with a listing of approved snacks. I know I would not want my child eating a candy bar twice a week. They do not need any help being active and that extra sugar intake can get them really going.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Our coaches passed around a sign up schedule. She shouldnt be the only mom doing it. I loved bringing orange slices. I would put them in the fridge so they were nice and cold :)

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K.W.

answers from Biloxi on

I would have your husband make a snack schedule for the parents of each player to alternate bringing snacks and tell her that it is unfair for her to always have to be the one to do it. My son's soccer team had one parent who always brought candy, but everyone else at least put a piece of fruit in the snack bags. Also, I would probably mention that snacks after practice are unnecessary and that they tend to ruin dinner for many kids that age (I know that they would for mine), so we are going to limit snacks to after games only. That is how I would handle it and then I would just deal with the candy on her snack days. Good luck!

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

I sort of weaseled out of it.

This happened when my kid was playing sports. His practices went until 6:30pm on a weekday and he was only 4! I had to tell my kid before we got out of the car whatever snack was offered, to just take it, say thank you, and save it for another time. I had a more healthy snack for him in my bag. I too was floored by some of the snacks people brought - candy and sugar drinks! @ 6:30pm! On a weeknight!

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