Superhero Pretend Play

I think that kids that age have a very simple good/bad view of the world that translate into such good guy/bad guy scenarios in their play. So wanting to fight bad guys is normal play at that age. My son was also very much into Superheros at age 4, fighting crimes with invisible guns, shooting pretend bad guys and walking around in his Batman outfit 24/7. Eventually he outgrew this phase. He is not a violent guy and hasn't been in any real life fights at all (he's 10 now). He is actually very compassionate and he very much understands the difference between play and real life.

I really wouldn't worry about her play at this point.

Oh get over it! If she were a boy, you would not at all be concerned. You are making something out of nothing. There are good parts to the story and she also needs to learn when someone isnt worth her time. Pretend play is just that, its pretend. It doesnt mean she is going to vaporize someone or become some sociopath.

You need to read this:
http://www.scholastic.com/resources/article/when-good-kid...

It is about child development and how pretend play is a crucial part of this.
You need to read the article so you can understand, clearly, why kids do this.
Your child is NORMAL.

My son very much likes Super Heroes.
He is now 5 years old.
He is a gem.
He is not violent.
He is so behaved in school and at home he is a typical funny boy.
He is normal.

Your child is normal.
AND yes, playing Tea Party was also my daughter's FAVORITE thing to do... and she would play it over and over and over and over and over again.
Children, can and do, play things that are boy or girl things.
I have a son and daughter.

Statistically speaking... it's the kids that DON'T do this sort of pretend play that lash out and hurt other kids and turn to violence.

I wouldn't worry about this. In her brain she is simply "saving the world". She's the hero, she's tough and she's empowered. It's more about acting out those things than the violence you may be associating with it. Personally, I am much happier when my three year old pretends to be a Jedi or Wonder Woman than some Disney Princess who needs to be saved. :)

Pretend play fosters the imagination. Builds social skills, language skills and gives kids an outlet. As long as she understands the boundaries....i.e. we can't kick our friends who are pretending to be the bad guy, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Let her be the super hero! ;)

No worries! It is great she is so imaginative!

Your child is 4. This is a creative and fun outlet she enjoys -nothing more. It also sounds like a great way for her to bond with her dad! I have boys who are 3 and 6, and they LOVE superheros! I considered it a right of passage and love to listen and watch them play Batman, Spiderman, Wolverine, etc. Don't over-analyze it.

Your husband is right. She is going to be just fine.

My boys watched the cartoons about superheroes along with the figurines.

To this day my boys are all just boys.. they fight amongst each other but have never taken out side of the house to other kids. They did the rough and tumble play with each other and with me and their dad.

Actually two of my boys have been bullied in school and are the first one to jump in if someone else is being bullied or pushed around. They are also the first ones to take anyone under their wing.

I say if she is having fun and using her imagination that's great! If it looks like its getting out of hand a gentle reminder to not play that rough or mellow out a little we don't get that rough with other people usually works.

Play fighting at her age is natural and a healthy way to process the beginning understanding that there is bad in the world. Kids are much smarter than we give them credit for, and I think they do pick up on some of the subtler moral messages. But the main thing they take away from this kind of play is that good wins the day. And that is something we need to reassure our kids of. Yes, there is bad in the world, but in the end, good prevails. Most boys play like this the majority of the time, and most don't turn into violent terrors. Since your daughter currently understands the difference between play fighting and actual fighting (she's not hurting other kids), I wouldn't worry.

I think that good vs. evil is very developmentally appropriate, especially in pretend play. It's great to mention it to her. The comments you're making might now immediately translate to the way she plays or the responses you get from her, but you are planting the seeds. I would be aware of whether or not she things of her classmates or friends in terms of good guys and bad guys. My son doesn't seem to say those things about his classmates, unless he's talking about playing Spiderman at recess.

At 4 years old the rules of life are very cut and dry, very simplistic. We can talk to them about why things are wrong, but by and large they respond to "because that's the rule." We need to keep in mind that as children grow they need to begin asking why and understanding why.

I went to a Catholic high school and took religion classes (and morality). Those classes are huge! High school students need to begin to challenge what they have learned. They need a safe environment to ask the difficult and challenging questions. They need to be able to question what they have been taught so that they can choose it for themselves. I felt so fortunate to have parents and teachers that recognized that and gave us the freedom to challenge and to disagree.

I hope that that didn't seem like too much of a tangent. I just wanted to say that this is ok at 4 years old. As she learns and grows it will be healthy for her to think about things as less cut and dry and recognize that there is good and bad in all of us. It is our choices that help form us. We can always choose good or choose bad, so there is always hope!

Just take comfort in the fact that this is nothing new. Kids have ALWAYS played good guys versus bad guys. Cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, etc. I'm sure it goes back to the beginning of time, and it probably plays an important role in children's lives, figuring out good vs. evil, feeling empowered, and of course, just having fun.
My son is not into comic books but he is a HUGE gamer, as are most of his friends. LOTS of fighting and action going on there! He is 19 now and I just couldn't ask for a better son, he's healthy, funny, smart and kind. Believe me, you and your husband are a MUCH bigger influence on your child than make believe action figures/characters :)

I have struggled some with this too--our son LOVES books and movies with action; probably I got him started because the very first movie I borrowed for him from the library was Star Wars (the original ones, of course). Overall, I don't think the films/books or the 'good vs bad person' themes have caused him to behave violently or fight with kids. In K-2, he did have some trouble with his temper and with striking out at school mates a few times, however I don't think the media exposure did it--he needed to develop some more self-control. He did develop that self-control through taking martial arts (Tae Kwon Do). It seems contradictory, a kid becomes less likely to use violence by studying a martial art, however it really seemed to work for him. He had an outlet for the energy and something he loved doing which encouraged discipline. If you feel concerned, you might seek out a martial arts studio with a program for pre-schoolers. Overall, I suspect your daughter will just have a lovely time acting out those stories with you and her daddy. I love the idea of X-Men meet Cinderella...

My son has been obsessed with superheroes for at least 4yrs. He is 6. We have not had any issues. We limit the violence/roughness he sees on video and always have. Some superhereo videos (even cartoons) are too rough. Pretend play is fine. I wouldn't worry.

My son went through the super hero phase around that age. I remember Batman being a particular favorite, along with the Prince in Sleeping Beauty, oh and the Power Rangers (just ugh).

Anyhoo, he spent a lot of play time fighting "villains", slaying dragons, and performing poor imitations of Power Ranger kicks. He did not attempt these actions on others, and was in no way violent or aggressive because of this imaginary play.

I think little ones pick up on the more subtle messages more than we know. My son was, of course, later into Pokemon. I could find no redeeming reason for Pokemon, until I watched the show with him. Turned out that every episode ended with a moral - compassion, friendship, etc. Also, turned out that he got those messages and would later repeat them to "teach" them to me.

Both of my kids pretend, and pretend pretty aggressively, but that's their time to figure out what they are capable of, know/learn their limits, hear and say NO when it gets too rough. All good things that translate into teaching our kids how to play, how to defend themselves, and when is it too much. If they don;t respond to "that's too rough, or you are going to hurt yourself or someone else"...game over=fate worse than death! she's 3 1/2 and he's 5, and both need to get energy out productively. They like to "save the world" and other from monster parents so we get to talk about bullying, when it's OK or not OK to play rough, saying NO when someone is doing something to you or your body that you don't like. All good as long as it is safe and the lamps are on the other side of the room :)

We're comic book/superhero people, so my 3 year old loves watching, reading and playing all things superhero related. We try to limit it to ones with minimal fighting and violence and nothing with guns or shooting. I also have a home daycare and have had lots of superhero kids over the years, who have been allowed to watch more violent shows and movies and play superheros in a violent, fighting manner. My rule has always been this: we do not play fight and our toys do not fight. If we can't play nicely and our toys can't play nicely, we have to find something else to play. I remind the kids that a superhero's real job is to help people, not to fight, so that is what we play-flying, rescuing, helping.