Super Tacky- Sprinkle Shower?

Updated on March 29, 2019
W.M. asks from New York, NY
21 answers

I have been to more showers than I can count and I just received a sprinkle shower invitation for a same-sex baby and I don’t know why it just irritated me and I immediately thought it was completely tacky to continue toI keep asking for free things and peoples precious weekends why do u need these things? U had a baby recently! Bc they are new.? As a woman who hasnt any any type of shower for my life ecents ywt...: when can I have a single girl living with Colon in the city party because that’s the choice I made plus I probably need it more than you do

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answers from Santa Fe on

I don't really think of a shower or sprinkle as a gift me it's just celebrating the baby to be. But where I live people don't really ask for much or have huge registries or anything. It's more a chance to get together in the spirit of celebration. Since you're not feeling it, I think you should just rsvp you can't make big deal.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Reading on

What the hell is a sprinkle shower? It sounds like a golden showers party. And what are you talking about a single girl with "colon" - this post just gets more and more disgusting....

Sounds like you just wanted to complain, since you don't actually have a question...

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from New York on

I don't know what a "sprinkle shower" is or what a "same-sex baby" is - you mean the child of a same-sex couple?

If you want to have a "single girl living with her colon" party, you can! There was that episode of SATC where Carrie Bradshaw "got married to herself" and registered for shoes.

(If you decide to celebrate your colon, try to not be a party pooper!)

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

People are sharing their happiness, or they're trolling for gifts, or both. Pregnancy is difficult, uncomfortable, and for many either hard to achieve or hard to survive (literally). Life is about to change a lot, and people usually don't throw a shower for themselves (usually a friend does). Ideally, only good friends likely to share the joy are invited.

You, apparently are blessed with (or plagued by, based on your tone) a large family or a large circle of friends. So you get a lot of invitations.

I think a "sprinkle shower" is less than a full-blown, big-gift shower. It's just for small necessities/niceties and can be a way to pamper the pregnant woman (who is way more tired than she was during the first pregnancy - if you're not a mom, you would have no idea), replace a few things that may have worn out or which just need to be refreshed a bit (like bottles and pacifiers) for a second baby. It lets the person or couple take a few pictures to show both kids later in life, "See, here are the people who love Mommy" (or "Mommy and Daddy" or "Daddy and Papa") and who celebrated that you were on the way. What's so terrible? It's mostly about getting together and laughing and being together, and maybe oohing and aahing over some cute stuff. Not your thing? Don't wish to celebrate a friend's happiness? Don't go.

What's a "same-sex baby"??? It's either twins or the child of a same-sex couple. The first means 2 gifts maybe. The second couldn't possibly make a difference to a decent person - a baby is a baby. And it might be extra nice to celebrate something that some people still frown on and which wasn't a possibility when reproductive technology and marriage equality weren't around.

I don't know what "life ecents ywt" or "living with colon" mean so I can't address those. But if you want to have a party and invite friends to celebrate something, go ahead. Be prepared to pay for it and hope your attitude doesn't come across as a request for gifts, or you'll have no guests. But if you're a good and loyal friend, people should be happy to celebrate whatever you are happy about.

Too many invites? Decline some. Don't make a big deal about hating showers. Just say "So sorry I won't be able to attend. Best wishes." Done.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

If you want to go with a happy heart for the parents, then go and celebrate their joy with them with a small gift.

If you can't go/don't want to go/aren't happy for them/would be grouchy or complain about the inconvenience/wish that you hadn't been invited/have something else that you would rather be doing, then RSVP your regrets. No explanation needed. A simple "Thank you for the invitation, but I can't attend." is fine. No gift required.

No need to be irritated.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

The typos make it hard to read your question (Colon?).

I gather you're not a mom. This is a mom site for parenting advice.

Decline the invite politely if you don't want to go.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

No one is holding a gun to your head saying "go to the baby shower". You want to have a "single girl living with colon in the city party", knock your socks off.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

How is a shower "asking for free things" is this really how you see the world? That's so sad. Most people enjoy celebrating life's special moments with the people they love, and if they can't afford a gift they do something else, or simply give a card.
It sounds like you don't even like these people so why not save them from your clear disapproval and just cut them out of your life NOW.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I’m not really sure what you are asking but if you received an invitation for a party you don’t want to attend, just nicely decline.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i'm over showers, and pretty much never go (i'll modify that when it's my grandbabies.)

but that's just for me. i think showers are a fine thing to have, and enjoyed by most. i can send my gift and not have to endure all the little games and so forth.

no way to tell from your post if this is actually tacky or not. it really just sounds as if you don't want to go, but instead of taking responsibility for that, you want to blame the new parents.

the very fact that you felt the need to add 'same-sex baby' (which doesn't even make sense) tells me that you're a grump at best, and pretty douchey at worst.

can't even figure out what the hell you mean by a girl with Colon in a city park.

is it that freakin' hard for you to say 'can't make it, but congrats and have a great time'?

back to your hole.


5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

It sounds like you are jealous and wish that you had a reason for someone to throw you a shower or sprinkle.
You are allowed to politely decline and just stay home with your colon.
It is not at all tacky to have a sprinkle or a shower. These types of gatherings are usually given by a friend or family of the mom and mom just attends. So it is unlikely they are gift seeking.
When can you have a party? Anytime you plan one. Plan yourself a birthday party, move to a new place and have a house warming party. plan a party just to have people over..

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

What’s your question?

If you don’t want to go to something you’re invited to... just say no thank you.

No one is making you go!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Awe, you're so cute.
Don't go if you don't want to. Gees. It's an INVITATION. It's not a demand.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Why don’t you just throw your own party?
If you been to so many showers you must know a lot of people. Rent a party bus or vip area in a club, or something. I’m sure the new parents would appreciate a fun night out.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

I think each baby should be celebrated. My first was thrown a huge family and friend baby shower and there was another party given by the ladies I worked with at the time. My second has an afternoon tea/meet the new baby when she was about a month old or so thrown by some of my mom friends I had made through my first child and going to a Mother's of Pre-Schoolers group (MOPS).

The best thing about the meet the baby party was because she was already here, I knew what I needed for her. Like she was small and actually needed some newborn size clothes. She was a different sex and so it was really nice to get a few pink things. People were able to share newborn items they wanted back later or wanted to get rid of at an exchange type table we all swapped a few items...oh and best of all the hostess sold Mary Kay and offered a huge basket of make-up as a raffle prize if you brought a pack of diapers.

Each of my children have pictures of their special party just for them. I think each child should be celebrated. The first one big time, each one after that at least recognized...then if there is a huge age gap or twins or something have another big party.

But then again only if someone offers to throw one for you. Babies should be celebrated...but it doesn't mean you can't have a party for yourself if you want to celebrate just about any reason what-so-ever. Go have fun sprinkling the baby or decline because you can't/don't want to go.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

If by same sex, you mean the parents already have a son, and they know that their new baby will also be a boy, for example. Parents who have all boys or all girls often have the big expensive stuff from the first baby, like a blue stroller, or lots of boy baby clothes. So the idea of a "sprinkle" shower is that it's not elaborate like a mother-to-be's first ever baby shower, where she needs absolutely everything. A sprinkle shower is less elaborate, and the gifts are simpler - stuff a parent runs out of, like diapers and baby shampoo and burp cloths and pacifiers or a new lotion or perfume for the new mom - rather than cribs or car seats or play pens.

It's quite the opposite of tacky - it's a way to welcome the new baby and show support and love to the new parents, while making it clear that the gifts should be small, useful, and simple, like a new book for the baby to look at, or a new rattle, or a new sheet set for the crib.

If you can't feel pleasure or joy about the birth of a new baby, then stay quiet and keep your selfish thoughts to yourself. Try to be gracious and kind, and maybe someday someone will celebrate you. But that won't happen if you continue to be irritated and angry at other people's joy.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

It's simple, if you think the baby shower is tacky and irritating, just decline your attendance, and let people who want to share with these people and celebrate with them, attend and have fun. Same thing with people asking for frivolous donations on GoFundMe. I just don't give a penny and let others who want to give do so, but I don't throw a tantrum or think I deserve a GoFundMe and create one just to outdo others. You sound angry that you don't have any reason to celebrate something, so you must whine because you're not someone's center of attention.

If you need gifts, which I assume is what you meant by your last sentence, then stop going to parties and spending money, save up your money for your necessities, or hold a garage sale to make extra income and buy whatever it is you need. Some people like celebrating important events, and a new baby, IS an important event to most, maybe not to you, but to people who care about the baby or the parents, it sure is. Some of these people may not have seen the new parents for a while, so the party is a great opportunity to catch up, and after having a baby, most people get pretty busy, so again, it may be a great opportunity for people to have fun while they still can.

If your weekends are so precious, cut down on the amount of parties you attend, or cut off some of your friendships. No one keeps tabs on your calendar and knows that many of your "precious weekends" have already been used up by others who invited you to other parties. You don't have a right to tell others that they should not hold parties, because it offends you. It sounds by your bitter tone that you'd ruin the party if you attended, so do them a favor and decline. Everyone will be much better off. By the way, chacha's response about your colon party (whatever that means) was hilarious!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

A baby shower is suppose to be a celebration of a woman becoming a mother for the first time - it's a rite of passage and not really about the baby itself.
Why do they need these things? - they like the implied access to your wallet.
A sprinkle or meet and greet is more about each baby.

You don't have to go to every party you are invited to.
If you feel a shower/party of any kind is a gift grab - decline the invitation.
If you've been to a lot of showers you might sort of be on a suckers list - they see you as a giver and would like you to keep giving.
Just be more selective about what events you wish to attend and rsvp "No thank you, I will not be attending" to invitations that irritate you.

A sprinkle is a smaller shower.
Same sex baby I took to mean that the mothers last child was the same sex as the current baby.
While I think celebrating every baby is ok - it's still tacky to expect every child is a reason for free stuff via inviting as many people as possible to a party to 'give' something for the latest family addition.
Ultimately no one has access to your wallet without your permission.
So if you are tired of giving and giving and giving - stop doing that.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I wish I could understand the end of your rant. I assume you are typing on a phone and it's just a mess. Did you even read what you wrote??? Ugh...

You shouldn't attend the shower. You resent this mom for having a second shower. I don't believe it's really because she's having the same sex child as before - I think it's just because you are jealous that you didn't get a shower at all.

Life isn't fair - it just ISN'T. Some people get showers and some don't. If you're smart, you'll keep your rants to yourself so that your friends won't think badly of you.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I take it you're not friends with the Mom or other guests. That could be a reason not to go. So don't go. If you are.a friend why would you resent getting an invitation to a party focused on your friends new baby. Many parties are planned to celebrate something. A birthday party would give you gifts. I've had friends host a dinner party for my birthday. We celebrated me.

You believe a sprinkle shower is a gift grab. Perhaps you didn't know that a sprinkle shower is different than a baby shower. I doubt gifts are the reason for the party. I know of people who plan a party for any reason. People go because they enjoy being with friends. I hosted several potluck dinner parties. One of the reasons dinner clubs are formed is to share food and friendship. So a sprinkle shower is also about friendship. You don't have to bring a gift. Or you can spend $5 and bring a new pacifier. For not much you could bring a package of diapers. These are not things mom can reuse from baby one. PerhapThe goal is to share friendship and happiness for a new baby. Gifts are a way to get everyone involved and provide for conversation.

I am a mom to an adopted 6 year old. She's now 36. I didn't have a shower. I invited friends to her birthday party. Could you think of a shower as a birthday party for the new born? My friends supported me while I parented a special needs child. I didn't need gifts. I needed to know friends were there for me. So you could think of a shower as a way to support mom.

New moms get very little sleep. They rarely have more than a minute to themselves. It takes sometimes weeks or months to workout a way to take care of baby and sibling while managing a home.

Perhaps you could offer to babysit. That would be a much appreciated gift. Then maybe you could understand having a sprinkle show to show support for the 24/7 mom.

I suggest you give yourself a party. Perhaps a potluck, a barbecue, a drinks and appetizers. You could ask friends to bring a food. Or you could be creative and laughably say the party is a gift grab. I suggest friends will laugh and have fun. Ask friends to bring something that costs less than $10. Then use those things as a part of the party. Be creative and have fun.

I've had Tupperware, A jewelry party, and the most fun was a basket party. Now, that's a gift grab. I received Tupperware, jewelry, and baskets. I'm sure you could plan a party in which you receive gifts.

If I knew who/what is colon, I could probably suggest a party for girl, colon in the city party.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

It's interesting to me I had this exact conversation with someone and their issue was having not had the gifts from the first 2 events acknowledged. I gave them my opinion on any gift giving. I am a "GIFTER". If I see something I know someone will love, or fits their personality, need, etc. I give for no reason at all. If I can give a gift for a special occasion freely, joyfully, without resentment or expectation, I DO. Most often I do. If I would have to be doing it begrudgingly (as in my friend holding her breath for a thank you card), I wouldn't. There's is nothing wrong with saying that you're sorry, but you're not available. Or, as we've done when a grumpy child doesn't want to go to a party, we sing "EVERY PARTY NEEDS A POOPER, THAT'S WHY WE INVITED YOU!" As a "senior" parent raising a grandchild, If you're close to or related to the parents, offer to come by and bring a special tea or coffee, and entertain the kiddos while the Mom takes a bubble bath and "time out"!!

1 mom found this helpful
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