Super Active 10Mth Old - Crying at Gym Creche

If the gym daycare is the only reason you picked that gym... I'd cancel that membership and pick a place with a great setup - with ot without a creche and maybe see if you can get a sitter - the SAME sitter - to have a somewhat 'steady' part time babysitting schedule for you to go to the gym. These caretakers at the gym's creche... I doubt it's their real job or career and is just a secondary income. Why would they work h*** o* making things work with your child when the same ladies aren't always there and they only see her for 1-2 hours at most?

By creche, I am guessing you mean childcare center. My daughter was a super active baby too! Usually at a gym, these are not trained daycare providers, more like a teen babysitter who doesn't know much about babies. Clearly, they are not prepared for a baby who needs a lot of activity and attention. If they are caring for multiple babies, they are not going to have the time to play with her one on one, and it's not like a fulltime daycare center where they will have activities for the kids. The gym childcare is meant for you to drop your kid off for an hour to be watched while you work out. Let the babysitters know what your daughter is like - she is not difficult but she is used to a lot of activity, crawling, exploring and if she is just plopped in a seat or playpen, she is going to be unhappy. I might think about employing a private babysitter for your home when you are going to the gym, rather than using their childcare if it's not right for your child.

Firstly I had to just say "snap"! I live in Cape Town (South Africa) and also could only think of 90210 ... oh, the power of American TV series! :) Unfortunately the girls who usually work at gym creches are not qualified child carers. They are paid minimum wage to ensure that kids don't hurt themselves while the moms are working out. In Cape Town I had the same problem! It broke my heart to know that my little boy had been crying for most of the time I was exercising! I ended up moving and no longer going to that particular gym. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, even though I don't really have any good tips for you. Other than the obvious ones like try to choose a time when she isn't tired or hungry, ensure she has her favourite toy or comfort object with her etc. The great thing about kids that age is that they REALLY don't remember these times which we think will adversely affect them. My "little boy" is now 18 years old and (not only doesn't he remember the gym creche at all) but he's a perfectly happy and well adjusted young man. When the going gets tough just remember "this too shall pass" ... and (before you know it) it has! Good luck :)

I suggest that you're asking the impossible. This is not a child care center. These workers have to take care of several children and do not have the time or skill to figure out your daughter and treat her differently. They are more like babysitters than trained child care workers. They get paid to watch several children in a safe place, not to help them with development or socialization. In the US they get at the most minimum wage which isn't much.

If there is one worker for every 2 children it might be different depending on their training. When I pick up my grandson at the gym's care facility there are usually just 2 workers with 6 or so children, all of whom seemed active to me. They have activities and toys for the children but they don't play with each individual child. They are warm and interact with all the kids but don't have the training or skill to treat children very much differently than the norm. It is a babysitting service only.

I also suggest that if you don't find ways to manage her high energy constant motion at 9 months you're going to have difficulty as she get older and larger. I suggest that the workers are telling you that she needs to learn discipline.

I also suggest that she needs more than 7-8 hours of sleep in a day. Tiredness does result in tears when taken out of their routine. She's stressed in the creche which is difficult to handle because she isn't rested. How did the workers decide she needed more sleep? I suggest that they can tell by the way she acts.

Yes, you can allow her to be her individual self because you only have her. You probably have a routine with her. She knows what to expect. She feels comfortable/secure with you. Put her in a group of babies/children, away from the security of mom and she will be stressed. The stress is more difficult for her to handle because she hasn't had enough rest/sleep.

She isn't on the road to being spoiled as someone else put it. A child this young cannot be spoiled and his or her needs should be met; if those needs aren't met, the child feels insecure. It's not spoiling a child to meet those early needs; it's building security and their knowledge that they are cared for. She's too young to manipulate you or the carers that way.

The problem is the creche staff and their inability and/or indifference. I would wager that they are not trained, experienced child care providers but (since you call them "girls") younger women picking up some cash by just sitting in the creche for a few slots each week. They have no idea how to deal with a child this age who has just seen her mum walk out the door -- they need to distract and redirect her, which means they must INTERACT with her rather than expecting her to buck up, stop crying and play by herself or sleep. The fact they are labeling her as "difficult" is just laughable. They know nothing about kids this age, even though they may tell you they see lots of them in the creche. Seeing children isn't the same as knowing how they act at certain stages and in certain situations. The fact that they "expect her to be still and not one of them gets down to play with her" indicates they should not be doing this job and I wouldn't continue to leave her with them.

Unfortunately for you, she may be a bit too young yet to be left in the creche just yet, though that could change soon. At her age, she is still just young enough that when you leave a room, in her mind, you are disappearing from the face of the earth altogether. Though she is just on the cusp of being old enough to know that you ARE there in the next room, she may not quite be at that stage yet, and there really is nothing you can do about it -- she must develop into that knowledge, and no amount of reassurances from you is going to "convince" her otherwise.

There could be other factors at play, too. She may find the creche too loud (do they play music in there all the time, or talk loudly to the kids?); or too overstimulating and hectic (are older kids in there, running around, climbing and yelling? She may be an active, lively kid with her parents but unused to the noise and activity of lots of bigger kids around); or too cold or hot. She may just have a dislike of the carers themselves based on nothing but her 10-month-old mind not liking them--there doesn't have to be a logical reason. But most likely it's separation anxiety and that is perfectly normal for all kids to go through.

However, since these carers are not recognizing and dealing with that, I would see if you can find another gym with a better-run creche (and one where the carers won't give you unwanted advice, or label your child "difficult" -- no one should label a child this young as anything!). Or go to the gym only for shorter times for a while, to get her used to the creche. But it's OK that she is feeling some separation anxiety -- if she were not, that actually would be a bigger issue.

She will get through this perfectly normal phase and so will you, but meanwhile, you may need to adjust your schedule to leave her with your husband while you go to the gym, or find another gym, or consider home workouts for a few months, then try again with her. But never let "girls" who are just watching kids in a situation like this tell you how your child "should" be playing or sleeping, especially if they don't even bother to play with your child while they're being paid to watch her.

At 10 mos. old...sounds like she is on the way to being spoiled. She should be able to play on the floor by herself and without someone dotting all over her. You don't want to be dragging her all around next year while she is cligging to your leg. Good luck.

my son was also very active..running by 10 months..friends told me they would tell people they know a child that skipped walking and just started running..you need to get this book..Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child..she does need more sleep..especially b/c she is active..i used to call myself the nap nazi..and to this day when i see a baby just sleeping in a stroller or in the car seat i envy them..i had to come up w/ ways to get my son to nap..i would push him in the stroller back and forth on the porch facing a boring wall..and he would drink a bottle of breast milk while i did that then pass out finally after about 20 minutes..then i would roll the stroller into a room w/ black out curtains and a sound machine..he would nap 1.5 hours..
the reason young ones don't sleep is b/c they don't know how to fall asleep..at night i would co sleep so that he could learn to sleep..and when he would wake at 4 or 5am i would have a ritual..i would change his diaper while he drank a bottle...then put him back in the crib..sometimes to get him to sleep at night i would have to drive on the freeway back and forth about 5 miles..
you may have to not go to the gym...i used to run w/ my son in the stroller..i had the Frog Bugaboo..its only 16 lbs..and handles dirt trails well..the BOB is about 21 lbs
then i would get him home and nurse him down to sleep for nap..while he napped i would do 2 ..10 minute workouts..but now Jillian Michaels has a great 20 minute workout..30 Day Shred..then when i would get him to bed at night i would do P90X..when he turned 3 i put him in Preschool a couple days a week and i would go to the gym on those days..and then he liked going to the gym so i could drop him off in the kid care and take classes..but not til he was 3
now he's 5 and goes to kindergarten and i prefer doing DVD workouts at home..Insanity is great..i also do Chalean Extreme..and others..
it does get easier..i was always the mom running after my little one at the playground while others got to sit around chatting while their kids played nicely in the sand..i also was the one who was in the best shape..so??
but she does need to get more sleep and you're going to have to come up w/ some tricks..get that book..do Cry it Out also..if she wakes too early..CIO in the morning..
so she will learn to sleep in later..

good luck!

D.

Sounds like lazy child care workers.