Suggestions for a Grumpy 20 Month Old

Updated on February 05, 2008
S.M. asks from Greenwood, IN
18 answers

I would like to know if anyone has any suggestions for me and my 20 month old little girl. She never ever wakes up happy. She always screams as soon as she wakes up and is in a bad mood for up to an hour after she wakes up. She has 2 older brothers who have always got up and happy and ready to take on the world. She is happy all other times, but it is so frustrating to have her screaming mad every times she gets up. Would like to know if anyone else has ever been through this and has suggestions? Thank you

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all who have responded. I have tried many of these things in the past and I am a stickler on bedtime being at 8:00 for all four of my children. It is comforting knowing that many others have been throught the same situation and I might just have to deal with the grumpies after each rest period. For those of you wondering or commented on getting her into a big girl bed, she has been in one since she was 12 months old, because we had our sweet little surprise baby boy about to be born 2 weeks after her 1st birthday. (she loved it and took right to the bed -- the grumpies have only been going on for about 3 months) I am going to try the protein suggestion. Thanks again to all who put for their input!!

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

S.,

My son (2 1/2) was also this way. He would moan and cry "Maaa Maaa". Here's what I've found that works for him:

1) We moved his bedtime up to 8 (from 8:30). This way, he is waking up on his own in the morning, and does so like clock-work, at 7AM. The "crabbies" were more prevalent when I had to wake him up rather than him doing it on his own.

2) Sounds silly, but I started bringing in my 5 month old in the morning to "wake up big brother". For some reason, this made Jacob smile and laugh (and baby Ryan, too). I let Ryan lay in the bed with him (I'm right there) and Jacob will play teddy's, give hugs, or whatever with him for a few minutes. That means a good morning for us every time.

You know, some people just aren't morning people (ahem, my husband). I can wake up and be ready to take on anything and hubby takes awhile. It used to annoy me to no end, but I've found that if I just give him like 15 minutes, he's fine. OR, I let the boys come wake him up with hugs and it starts him off with a smile. Lol.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,

My 18 month old son is the same way. He is even worse if he gets woken up for any reason. I just let him slowly wake up in his crib, sometimes that means letting him stay in their and cry it out. I always say that he is just like his mother (me) I was a crab when I would just wake up also! I hope this suggestion helps!

Jackie

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,

I feel your pain, my oldest son who is 8 always wakes up happy and ready to go no matter how much sleep he gets. Now my soon to be 6 year old is the total opposite. No matter if he gets enough sleep or not, he is very hard to wake up in the morning and wakes up in a very bad mood, yelling, cranky etc. It also takes him awhile to become "normal". After 6 years I havent been able to find anything that works with him. When he wakes up, I turn on the tv for him and he sits there and watches it. It does help with him being cranky, but not 100%....Again I know what you are going through, but really there is nothing I can find that would help. If you find something let me know please lol..

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K.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have always been a bit of a grump in the mornings. My mother tried to fight it all along, and it never worked. I have since learned, though, that it does take me longer to wake up and get around than those who bounce out of bed. My suggestion is to give her more time to get up in the morning. I wouldn't allow the screaming...but maybe if she knew she had some time and you were to wake her gently...kind of at intervals...she might not feel so rushed. My husband still does that with me sometimes if I have to get up at a certain time. He'll come in two or three times and just rouse me up. Usually by the third time I'm able to get up without biting heads off! LOL

Just one thing to keep in mind...people are different in their sleep AND waking patterns. I think it's important to make her feel like she isn't "wrong" or "bad". It just may take some time to figure out how it works for her. Is she a night owl? I am very much so. I can take on the world after 8:00pm! LOL

Good luck and I hope this helps some!

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J.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

My 2 year old also tends to wake up grumpy. I find if I just sit quietly holding her for 5 minutes she snaps out of it pretty quickly. If that isn't working I distract her from her bad mood by asking her if she wants to pick out her clothes for the day. That always works. Good luck!

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

She has low blood sugar when she wakes up. You need to feed her at least 7 grams of a protein before she goes tobed and no more than 15 grams of carbs if you pick something with a carb it it. for example a hand full of peanut sor nuts or peanut butter on a cracker only give like four crackers too many carbs means too much sugar and you want the protein not he sugar. or before bed give string cheese, do this for at least a week maybe even two and has to be every night or a hard boiled egg etc that should help for sure!
J.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

We've learned to leave our little girl in her crib until she asks for us to come get her. She too is grumpy if you get her up right away or wake her up. If she has some time to herself after she wakes up, she is a much happier toddler.

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D.C.

answers from Chicago on

My son was the same way. He was a snorer and was stuffy a lot. We tried allergy medicine and notheing helped. Fianlly we had his adenoids removed and I have noticed a big difference. We didn't remove the tonsils because they were not large, but the adenoids were quite large. My oldest also had morning issues. Usually a special juice or breakfast item helped. Some people just need quite time when they get up. Try changing the routine a little. My third liked eating and getting ready by a certain time so she could watch a show. Good luck!

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L.E.

answers from Muncie on

My son used to do this. Was just an absolute bear when he got up. We found out had sleep apnea and had his tonsils and adenoids out at age 3. My daughter had the same surgery at 2 but was not grumpy waking up. But, she would actually be gagging if she got to crying to hard hers were so large. Her pediatrician did not believe me, even when I taped her at night. Thank goodness the surgeon did. I hope this is NOT her problem but if it is it's easily treatable. My daughter had to stay in the hospital just one night and my son was able to go home the same day at a surgery center.

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D.P.

answers from Lafayette on

What is your bedtime routine? Is her bed a fun place to be? Sometimes if bedtime is a fight they will wake up with a chip on their shoulder. Do you have to rock her, sit by her bed, pat her etc. She should be able to go to sleep on her own and then they usually wake up happy. If you need advice on going to sleep well let me know. We did it wrong with girl #1 but corrected our ways on girl #2! Now they both wake up sweetly.

Good luck!

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G.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi! I'm so glad you asked this question, because my three-yr-old is like this, and has been for more than a year, (I have a 4th baby who will be a year old next month), and it is frustrating and feels bad. I think mine probably needs more sleep and more protein in the evening. I have four kids, and my oldest daughter is 11. She stays up a little later doing homework or wanting to talk to me, but it seems to make it hard for my 3yo to go to bed at a good time.
I have 3 girls, 11, 3, and 1, and one boy 7.
Let me know if something you try works for you!

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B.V.

answers from Chicago on

My 20 month old id the exact same way. She has always woke up form her afternoon nap grumpy. She wakes up great in the morning but in the afternoon, no matter how much sleep she has gotten (1-3 hours), she always wakes up grumpy. I find that if I just go in with a smile, sing a song, get her a drink and a snack when we get out of bed and read a book with her or turn on a little program that she likes, she snaps out of it pretty quickly. I trruly believe she is just the type that doesn't wake up well and needs some time to wake up all the way. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have not experienced this and am sorry to hear your DD is like this. What a bummer for you. I know how much you cherish happy kiddies when they awake, I sure love mine that do.
I recommend homeopathic treatment. I think she's got an imbalance and a remedy would help her. My son is being treated homeopathically by Dr. Josephine Polich in Naperville b/c of eczema. His attitude swings got a lot better after being on a remedy. It's super safe and can have astonishing results w/ no side effects!!!! www.dupagehomeopathic.com if you're interested in looking into it.
Best of luck!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I won't be much help, but I have read that babies who aren't getting enough sleep show it when they wake up. I know it's hard with other kids on regular sleep schedules, but is there any way to get her sleeping more? An extra nap? Put her down earlier at night? Does she have her own room that you can darken and have white noise to drown out the other kids? I hope you can figure something out!!
Another thought just came to me...I hate naps, I always wake up cranky and feel worse than before I fell asleep and it takes me a long time to get alert. I wonder if she's just getting ready to phase out a nap all together?

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Try to train her to get in a better mood quickly by not getting her out of the crib until she calms down. Sit and explain that is she keeps crying like that she will have to stay in bed until she is in a better mood. Eventually she will pull herself together quickly because she has to.

If you continue to allow it she will do that for the rest of her life. I have two sister-in-laws that are so incredibly crabby when they wake up no one can stand to be around them....I hate to see what their children endure when the wake mommy up.

I have a little one that wakes up crabby from a nap and I won't cuddle with her until she calms down and relaxes. She wakes up other times fine, but naps are bad....so I've been tryig to train her to pull it together. I hope it works.

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T.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

Well, I can tell you that I had the same problem. I do know that you need to nip it in the bud now. Mine, started kindergarten this year & I had to switch her to afternoon from mornings. It was unbearable. They suggested putting her to bed even earlier to ensure that she is for sure getting a good night sleep. Is she getting 10-12 hrs a night? Make sure that she is on the same schedule every day...that really helps! Other than that....my suggestion would be to speak with your Pediatrican about any advice he or she has. Good-Luck!

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I"m just wondering how much sleep she is getting . My 2 year old went through and bad sleeping stint around the same age. She would wake up throughout the night crying and in the morning and just lay on me in the morning and after naps for up to 2 hours and sometimes fall back asleep on me. I started putting her to bed earlier and eventually she started taking longer naps again. Although alot of her sleeping problems started right when her new sister was born. But anyways now she calls for me in the morning and is happy to see me and start the day. So just hopefully it'll be like my situation and will soon pass. :)

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R.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think Toni's advice was right on. I too would put her down earlier and then have some assistance from my younger one in the mornings. Maybe even play soothing music for her in the mornings.
Goodluck

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