Stressed About Brother's Upcoming Wedding

Updated on August 30, 2011
A.C. asks from Morehead, KY
19 answers

I am super stressed here! My brother is getting married this Saturday (so in 5 days). TODAY I get a message via Facebook (not even a call or a text message) from his fiancee stating that she would like my girls to be flower girls. She asked that they wear either a burgundy, teal or silver dress and asked me to show them the steps for walking down the aisle as there will not be time for a rehearsal. On the upside, it is a casual wedding, my future SIL does not seem to be a picky bridezilla and is super nice. But on the downside, I am suddenly having to find 2 dressy dresses, in specific colors, before Saturday. I spent all day today at the doctors office as all my kids (and me, and my hubby) have strep throat. Since we will still be contagious for 24 hours from the time we start antibiotics, I will not be able to go out shopping till Wednesday or i can try to find dresses online. But I also just shelled out $100 extra today on unexpected co-pays and medications, plus I bought their wedding gift, and I still have to buy dress pants for my son and dress shoes for all 3 kids. I have been looking online for a few hours and am having a really hard time finding reasonably priced dresses, in the correct colors and sizes, that can be guaranteed shipped to me house by Saturday morning. What should I do?! Do any of you know of a good website that might carry what I need? I have already checked Gymboree, Childrens Place, Gap, Old Navy, Wal Mart, Target, Dillards, Macy's. Or should I just tell them there is no way I can manage that on such short notice???

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

You can let the girls wear a white dress or something and add her color ribbons to their outfits. White dresses are very easy to find, and you can find them in simple and fairly cheap designs, which is fine since it's a csual wedding. A cute eyelet would be so pretty. The dresses don't have to be matching. Just let her know you can't find a dress in her colors with this short of notice and ask if it that would work. If not, then politely decline and say it's just too short of notice.

Buy a roll of teal thick grosgrain ribbon, tie it in their hair, then make cute bows and safety pin them to the girls dress, or tie it around their waist like a sash sort of like these:

here a bow is just pinned onto the chest:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/75954417/girls-acu-army-bow-d...

or tied like a sash in the back:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/76523493/white-eyelet-straple...

or tied like a sash in the front:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/74272329/white-eyelet-heirloo...

Or, get them cute black or white skirts and a teal top. I say teal b/c that color is pretty easy to find.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Here's what I would do (if you want to attempt to tackle this), I would find two basic ivory or white dresses (depending on the bride's dress color) that match or are fairly similar, then I would buy sashes in teal, silver or burgundy.
The good news is that she sounds laid back and not too picky.

Here's a website with a clearance section starting at about $29 per dress:
www.flowergirldressforless.com

Here's O. from that site for $28.99 that comes WITH any sash color you'd like (style 2001W) in a ton of sizes available!
http://www.flowergirldressforless.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Sc...
Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I think your nuts for trying to please your future SIL. Pick up the phone, call her, and tell her the truth. Your sick and the kids are sick, so sorry they can't be part of the wedding party.

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Do you have a JC Penneys? I am amazed at the cute dresses they carry for girls.. and great prices too.

I also agree about white dresses with beautiful Ribbon..

The other thing is that, if you really feel overwhelmed. call the Bride and be honest.. The kids are ill and you are not able to find dresses.. I promise you she does not want you stressed out about their wedding. She will appreciate your honestly.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

if it's a casual wedding - she doesn't need flower girls...

I would call her and tell her - while I think it's great you want to include my girls in the wedding party - I will not have time to purchase dresses for them - as we have been sick with Strep this week and want to be well for the wedding on Saturday...

Or you can do it just the way you said - SORRY!! Can't get two dresses by Friday!!!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Why on earth did you say yes with all that on your plate?

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

If it were me, I would tell her that you are honored that she wants them to be in the wedding, but that a) you are all getting over strep throat and the kids may not actually be feeling enough to go, let alone play a role, and b) because of the illness and other factors, you didn't budget having to buy the special dresses and don't currently have it in your budget.

While she may be nice in general, this strikes me as thoughtlessly stressful on you guys. You don't have to be a bridezilla to thoughtlessly stress people out...

If you are planning on doing it, I would strongly suggest calling all the 2nd hand children's shops in your area (there's a chain in the Midwest called Once Upon A Child; maybe they are also out your way?), or even within a 30 min drive, and asking if they have any formal/semi-formal dresses in those colors, and give them the kids' sizes and have them check.

If you have a JC Penney outlet, they often have dress clothes (bridesmaids/formal, for both kids & adults). Or if you have Burlington Coat Factory out your way, they have formal stuff, even for kids all year round.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

A casual wedding does not need two flower girls. Tell them they can't do it on so little notice.

Or, send her their sizes and tell her to find them dresses.

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

Go to a bridal shop. All they have is dresses for occasions like this. Then you don't have to do shipping or anything. We also have had fantastic luck with a store called XXOO. I am not sure if they have them there in Utah but they are like a formal dress shop for kids. In any case you will probably spend $70 to $150, these kind of dresses are just expensive.

Have you asked if you can do white then accent with silver? Maybe do silver leggins or silver shoes and hair bobbles? Maybe that is an option. A lot of brides have the flower girls in white like the bride. If you can do white, you may have better luck, although it is way out of season for white. Hmmm.

This is a tough one. If I were you, I would not bail on it. Weddings are such a huge thing and you wouldn't want to miss the involvement with your brother's wedding. I say do the best you can and just keep the bride in the loop of where you are. I bet if you offer ideas of what you CAN find she will be quite flexible.

Good luck!

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C.W.

answers from Orlando on

JC Penney has some really pretty dresses in the childrens section that are wedding quality. The way I see it you have 2 options..either get the girls white dresses & say thats all you could find with the time constraints & they can look like little brides-or thank her for thinking of your girls & kindly decline the offer stating there just isnt enough time/budget to be able to handle this offer.Hope you and yours feels better soon and good luck to you girl!!

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J.J.

answers from Pocatello on

Try Jolene dresses. I bought one for my little girl and she looks awesome in it :) Here's a link to a burgundy dress that's super cute. A little pricy but sometimes they have them buy one get one half off. Good luck!

http://shop.joleneusa.com/Joyful_Holladay_p/joyful%20holl...

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A.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Wow, that is one crazy nervy request. I agree with others that suggested that you tell her you won't be able to pull it off on such short notice. Even if it is a laid back affair, you should have been given more of a notice to plan - especially since you and your family have been sick! I say set the tone for your relationship now so that in the future she doesn't try to take advantage of you. If she and your brother have their hearts set on the girls being in the wedding, I would suggest asking her to pick out dresses in their sizes and desired color. I'm a little curious to see how teal and burgundy work together lol! Good luck :)

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E.P.

answers from New York on

Without reading your other responses, my response to your SIL would be - "oh, thanks so much for asking, but I've already purchased clothes for all of us and the girls' clothes won't fit into your color theme or be appropriate as flower girls. I know you're going to have a great wedding and we'll be there with bells on!"
No way would I be scrambling at the last minute to find dresses at the last minute. Did she just find out she was getting married next weekend? Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

You say it's a casual wedding. Are you sure you need dressy clothes? I'd tell the bride your circumstances and ask how dressy your kids have to be. If not dressy that should make finding dresses easier and you may not need to buy dress pants and dressy shoes.

I've been to informal weddings for which no one purchased dressy clothes. They just wore what they already owned. My daughter wore a long formal dress, her husband a tux and the minister was in shirt sleeves. No one seemed to mind tho I was disappointed. My brother at least wore a navy long sleeved sweater so that he blended in in the pictures.

A agree with A.C. and would probably do as she suggested.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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L.B.

answers from Provo on

My general response to an absolutely unreasonable demand like this is to tell them that I require at least one week's advance notice for anything like this. That aside, indicate that you will be happy to come, but that you have not had sufficient lead time for the dresses.

Note: She should have notified you/provided the dresses several months ago. This is OUTRAGEOUS behavior.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Go to the mall and find something. If you can't then you can't. Talk to her in person. Tell her who wonderful it is for them to be included. Ask her to come over and look at the clothes they already have since it's so late in the week. Plus having strep...my granddaughter was in the hospital with it in July and I thought we were going to loose her one night. She was very very very bad off.

So, since you live out in the boonies,( I loved Dinosaur National Monument when we visited years ago. I got to touch a bone still in the ground...WooHoo!!!) I would just tell her that everyone is too sick to go on a big shopping spree to the metro area of Provo/Salt Lake City and that if you can't borrow something from a friend then she'll just have to make do.

Chances are that you won't get a delivery in time, so the money spent will be for something they won't really need. I know of at least one bride who ordered their dress and were told it would be there in time and it wasn't. One had to borrow a dress and then hers come in the morning of her wedding in the wrong size. It swallowed her, she wore it anyway and it just hangs...Take care of your family first and let things happen as best they can for the wedding.

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