Strategies for Teaching Social Cues

Updated on February 09, 2008
L. asks from Wilmington, DE
5 answers

My son is in 4th grade and has some difficulties reading social cues from his peers. He is oblivious to their subtle cues in the classroom and is then surprised and hurt when they are blunt about their feelings. Until now he has been able to negotiate the minefield, but as he gets older, the kids get more savy and the stakes get higher it's getting harder. Do any of you know some tools I could use to help him recognize the cues? He's a happy, well adjusted kid and I don't want the situation to ruin his self confidence. Thanks for your help.

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R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I too have a 4th grader. He has Asperger. Social stories have been wonderful. Another thing we do is watch tv, and not just for leisure. On commercial breaks we'll talk about the social situations - did you see the look on his face when she said that? How else could he have answered his Mom, teacher, etc. What do you think he will do next? Those type of questions. DVD's are best cuz you can pause when you need to. TV shows are great, but you are limited to talking on timed commercials (unless you tape those too). My son's favorite right now are Drake and Josh and Zoey 101.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

There are many good social skills groups in the area. One of those would be helpful, but make sure that the kids in the group are of similar ages and have similar issues. If your boy is merely "socially clueless" but the boys in the group have, say, severe anger management issues, it would be a bad mix.

Also, kids with social skills issues frequently have problems connecting to their own bodies and their own feelings. Occupational therapy would help with this. A lot of kids with social skills issues also have sensory issues. When they get more comfortable in their own skins, it helps them to be more socially competent.

I also agree with the teacher who suggested having your boy evaluated. If the social skills issues are disruptive enough to affect his education, often the school has programs to help, as well.

Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Washington DC on

If you don't work with one already, you should consult a Speech-Language Pathologist. Speech-language therapy is essential for kids with autism spectrum disorders. The SLP can design a program to improve your son's social skills. He or she can also direct you to helpful games and activities to use at home.

I am a board certified Speech-Language Pathologist and I have worked in schools for 8 years. You can contact your child's school to begin the process of evaluating him and developing an IEP or you can contact private SLPs. That is all the advice I can give you outside of seeing him myself. Please do not hesitate to act! Good luck-

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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi L.,
I am an elementary teacher and have worked with many students who struggle with social situations. First, I would suggest having a formal evaluation done on your son. Your school district should be able to provide an autism specialist (sometimes they are shared by several districts) or the speech therapist at your school.

In the meantime, you can use social stories. These are simple word and/or picture stories (which ever he is more responsive to) that explain specific situation he will encounter. With a 4th grader, you would probably want to make the story together so he understands what you are doing. He will probably have suggestions of what he wants to know about as well. Some examples are available at http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/ and http://www.thegraycenter.org/socialstories.cfm

Good luck! I've really seen these social stories work wonders for specific situations!

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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi L., I have a 3 1/2 yr old with PDD with suspicion of him becoming an Aspie later on. My son had no clue of social cues either. He loves when I scrap book, so I bought a simpel one for him. WE cut magazine pictures of various things. Granted my son is younger and has speech/OT issues so I do it for that too, but I do expessions. Kids are so cruel at times so I'd try to find picks of smirks, and mischeivious expressions and explain the expression. Put them in a scrapbook to review and even roll play.
I assume your son is mainstreamed at school?
Good Luck

N.

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