Strangers Taking Pictures of My Kids...

Updated on June 30, 2012
H.M. asks from Willowbrook, IL
30 answers

I was at an outdoor family Concert a few weeks back and two Chinese women who didn't speak English were snapping constant pictures of my 16 month old son one after the other because they thought he was so cute and he was playing in the water fountains that shoot out of the ground. They had a pretty professional camera. The point of me saying they were Chinese is because I felt I really couldnt' say anything to them. And, I didn't really think about it at the time, but after we got home, I kind of wondered why strangers would want a ton of pictures of my son, I thought that was really weird. Just wondering if you would say something next time this happens? This is actually not the first time, people used to take pictures of my other son a lot when he was a baby. I have been told they are very cute, but still..

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Like a couple of moms have posted as well, apparently I am quite a sight in Asia. Strawberry blonde hair, green eyes and nine feet tall!!! Some ask, most don't.

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Does you son have blue eyes? Most asians I know go crazy over my daughters blue eyes and bring over their family and friends to look at her eyes and take pics.My brother went to japan with his gf to visit her family and told me all of her family went crazy over his eyes.

3 moms found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would not worry too much about it. They probably thought it was a great shot of what he was doing. I have people actually video my youngest sometimes when he is out places cause he is a gymnast and does all kinds of flips where ever he goes. Most don't even think to ask they just think what he's doing is cool!!!

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

A person who is interested in photography or a person who is a photographer sees a cool shot, so they take a lot of pictures so they make sure they capture what they want...

I have a lot of friends interested in photography. I don't even think they specifically think "that kid is cuter than most" I think that they are thinking "this is gonna be a good shot". You've got the water splashing and a happy kid- sounds visually interesting. I'm an artist, too- so I get it. ...and you let them take the pictures, so they just went for it. i DO believe each of my photography friends would have asked the parent first, however.

I have personally taken pictures where water is moving, and you gotta get the right shot, cause if you don't, it doesn't look good and you have wasted your time.

You can always ask them to stop.

7 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I guess it depend on the person and the location and the pose.

If I was changing a diaper and they were snapping that, I'd be upset, unless they came up to me and said, "I can't believe a father is changing a diaper. I just wanted to show my husband." Then I'd say ok.

When I was a child, My dad was in Japan as part of the occupation Army. I was two years old and had naturally curly, platinum blonde hair. I have pictures of dozens of Japanese taking photos of me while I was looking at the animals in the zoo. The japanese had very straight, very black hair. I was the center of attention where ever I went. Hundreds of people took my photo. They thought I was tremendously cute, especially when I could talk to them with simple japanese words.

BTW, If you look at my profile picture, I still get my photo taken with strangers and by strangers every year. About 11,000 pictures last year alone.

Keep smiling. It will make a better picture. ;~))
Good luck to you and yours.

6 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Please try to relax. This was one incident, and it sounds like it may have been largely a cultural difference. I live in an area with TONS of tourists all year long and have noticed that tour groups or individuals from certain cultures -- notably China and Japan -- tend to snap, snap, snap everything, all the time, and cute children are a priority. I have also traveled to Japan a couple of times and have noticed that among the Japanese, this happens on their home turf, too -- taking lots of photos is just a "done thing" and since young children are adored and treated very well there, they tend to want to coo happily over young children wherever they travel too, which is nice. This is not intended by them to offend you and they likely have no thought of posting your child's picture anywhere. Americans tend to be more suspicious of someone photographing us or our families, whereas I find that in other cultures, snapping photos of strangers is not nearly as big a deal as it is here.

I was photographed all the time in Japan by strangers just because I was so obviously a foreigner. Everyone was friendly and even funny about it. Total strangers would come up to me and ask if I would talk with them to help them practice English! Do that here and we assume you're a con artist. I found it very open and charming, and it's not like anyone got my personal data or name to post online. If these ladies don't have any ID on your son, it's not going to come back to affect you or him later.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I can tell you this. I lived in Japan for several years, and people took pictures of me constantly (and I'm no supermodel). Sometimes they would ask first, sometimes they wanted to be in the picture too, often they wouldn't. I think it's a cultural thing.

My point is that you don't probably don't worry about how these people being creeps. It appears to be a fairly standard thing. In the future, if it bothers you, go collect your child and sweetly tell whomever is taking the pictures that he is going to spend some family time now.

5 moms found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Funny you should say that because two Chinese girls in their early 20s found my daughter to be cute, too, I guess and were also snapping pics of her at the beach. I got up from my towel and kind of started hovering around my daughter a bit when it got a little overboard in my opinion and they smiled, waved and walked away. No real harm done. Sounds like a cultural thing.

4 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

One or two shots wouldn't have bothered me, but I would have said something if they continued to do it. I would have just walked over to them, pointed to the camera, then my son, and said "no, no", and smiled as I shook my head at them. I'm sure they didn't mean any harm and I would be more concerned if my kids were older, like they are now. Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I wouldn't worry about it too much.
When I travel I LOVE to take pictures of children, they are such great subjects! I have the cutest photo of a group of French schoolgirls eating lunch outside of Notre Dame and a darling shot of a troop of French Boy Scouts crossing a busy street in downtown Paris! I also have a sweet photo of some Hawaiin boys playing football on the beach. Of course I don't publish or post these anywhere, they are just part of my personal photo albums.
And remember a lot of Asians, Japanese in particular, love to photograph everything!!! I know that's a stereotype but I have found it to be pretty true :)

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Meh. What's the big deal? It's a complement. He's adorable. Moving on.

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

We ask permission to take a photo of a child we do not know.. I have done this a few times, it the outfit is super cute.. Once we asked a mom if we could ask her daughter to try on a hat, so we could send our daughter a photo of what the hat looked like.

Our daughter, who has a ton of Asian friends says.. That in some of the cultures. they love American faces.. And so if they see a beautiful person, cute child etc.. They will take photos..

It is just one of those cultural things..
As Americans we can come off as a bit aggressive and non trusting.. always assuming the worst.. .. so I think you handled it well to just smile..

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My camera is attached to my body almost permanently. When parents are visibly present and/or I can identify who they are... I ask. But especially at big venues, or overseas / language barrier... when I see that GREAT shot? I just take it. About 50 of them on average, because I'll just keep shooting as long as I can stay unnoticed by those I'm shooting.

For me, it's not about their kid, it's a 'human moment'. Kids running through a fountain. A look of wonder on a face. Soccer in an alleyway. Pounce! Got that frog! A look of complete and utter disgust that only the under 8 crowd can manage.

It's not just kids, though...I have pictures of thousands of people, several hundred of whom I've traded info with so they can have those shots (I'm the annoying person who will lean out her car window and ask the guy sitting on his bike in the traffic jam next to me if I can take his picture, and then hand him a card with my email so I can send him the good ones).

I'm not a pro. Heck. I'm not even good. I'm alright/okay. But I LOVE capturing those moments in time.

I got one just the other day of a pretty girl in a red dress on a white Vespa just taking off her helmet and her hair tumbling down her shoulders. SUCH a great shot. But she ducked down into the station before I could even trade info. Happens all the time.

Oh. Whenever I ask? No is ALWAYS an okay answer. But I only ask before shooting if I happen to be close to that person. I've had people approach me several times. That's the drop the camera from eye sight, smile, wave, and show them the shots I've gotten. Ask them if they want my email so I can send them. I don't offer to delete them, but if asked (on two occasions), no worries. Done.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Americans do this while travelling overseas, too. I'm thinking about friends and family who come back with pictures of people in their photos of the local "scenery".

My SIL was in Italy and took photos of some fishermen, thinking how quaint they looked and one of them became angry and stopped her. She was surprised and embarrassed. He may have felt like you did when your daughter became the subject of a foreign traveller's curiosity. Perhaps we could all stand to be more understanding of eachother, whether travelling or encountering travellers from abroad.

2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't worry about it. When I was a kid I had very blonde hair and I have blue eyes. We would have Asian tourists that would come up to me and my family and ask to take our picture because we had blonde hair. My husband is Filipino (born and raised there) and he said that people with blonde hair are exotic looking. So, they just think we look "cool"

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

My response is usually to stand in front of their camera or pull my son away.

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J.M.

answers from Missoula on

I have had that happen several times. I don't usually mind unless I'm getting 'creeper' vibes from the photographer.

I do remember one time while waiting in the pediatrician office, she started 'flirting' with another little boy. They wound up sitting on the bench, holding hand and giving each other big hugs. It was too cute, and the mom snapped up a picture. I wish I woulda gotten her contact info, so I could have gotten a copy. lol.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I probably would have said something. Yes, I get that he is cute and all but several pictures? I'm not saying they were up to no good but it does raise a flag because maube they intend to use his picture somehow for their benefit.

My daughter models and she gets paid for that so if I were to see someone taking pictures that appeared to be professional, I would confront them because it could have an effect on her jobs if the pictures were posted in places that are not so nice.... such as random pop ups on social websites, etc.

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C.K.

answers from Miami on

I would have approached them politely. Even if they were Asian, they might have been able to speak English to you...and even if not, you would be amazed how much you can communicate with gesturing and smiling.
I love to take photographs and have frequently asked people if I could snap their kids (or dogs), especially when they are playing in water.
It probably wasn't weird, they just saw some great shots.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My American born friends lived in either Japan or Korea when they had their little girl. They couldn't go anywhere without people taking pictures of their baby.

For me it depends on the moment. What are they taking a picture of? My kid in a swimsuit? My kid in a not-so-polite pose? Or just my cute kid having fun?

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Ditto Mz. Kitty and H. LP and TF Plano/Allen

No matter what culture or person, you can say "no."

A picture or two, fine.
But if it were constant pics of my kids, no.
And, depending on what gadget they were using for taking the photos, when you upload a photo onto say, Facebook etc., the photo has the "location" the photo was taken at. Unless the computer user, changes the preferences on it. My Husband showed me this.

People/strangers, always comment on my kids saying how cute/pretty/handsome they are. Once I see a camera, or they aim it, I say No. And if they ask personal questions of my kids, I do not answer. I say "that's private. Nothing personal."

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Maybe they were the photographers for the event

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Well, I have a simmilar story, but I was a teen and the subject - I was at my highschool Military Ball. We lived in Vegas at the time and I was in the JROTC program and we had a Military Ball at the Rivera Hotel and Casino - we (my group of friends) went out to the pool for some fresh air and the men were in uniformand the women all dressed up and they were just snapping away! Heck, we saw flashes from some of the balcony rooms surrounding the pool area. I too wondered WHY, but just ran with it since I was 14 and did not care, but as a parent I probably would have said please stop - I am sure they understand NO.

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

Probably harmless, but yet! I wouldn't mind a couple of pictures, but then I'd just tell that person, that you prefer they stop taking pictures of him.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

I remember one year when daughter was barely one we took her to a festival dressed as an angel. So many were taking her picture. How cute etc Got annoying after a while though so took the wings and flower head piece off. I really do not think they meant any harm. Its not like some strange guy was taking a picture of your 10 year old. But you should have if it was bothering you just said no by shaking your head. I bet though they spoke english. Or at least understood no.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

In this context, I'd chalk it up to cultural differences. The anxiety about strangers taking pictures of our kids has only been around for a generation or so, and it's rooted in our specific culture.

Now if, say, a solitary man from your same culture had been doing it, it might make sense to react with more alarm. But the same act, done by different people, can mean very different things.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

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W.D.

answers from Chicago on

I would love to hear from someone of the Asian culture on this because I have also experienced it with my daughter a couple times, most recently at Loyola while in the waiting room with her at the pediatrician. It was a sweet older Asian couple. They talked about her (at least I think) and were smiling and took pictures (with just a reg small point and shoot). She was about 2.
I am sure it is a cultural thing. I'd love to know what that cultural thing is .....out of curiosity.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I guess I would say that even if you told them to stop they don't have to. There's not a lot a parent can do except just decide to leave.

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

I went to China a few years ago. I am tall, pale, and rather busty. I felt like a celebrity, everywhere we went I was stared at! My sister (built like me, but without the bust) lived there and said it was just because I looked pretty darn different from the norm there. She'd been asked to have her photo taken with random people (or their kids) on a fairly regular basis. They were just admiring your kiddo, and probably looking forward to showing his pictures to family back home to show how different we are. I wouldn't love people taking pics of my kid, but I don't think I would have said anything (I pretended not to notice the stares myself, my hubby HATED it).

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