Strange or Not--received Thank You Card Before the Wedding

No I dont think it is strange. Since you couldnt make it and sent the gift I think it is fair to recieve the thank you prior to the wedding date.

I don't think it was strange. It came in the mail, they were excited. And probably trying to remain organized as well. The strangest thing here is that you actually got a thank you card. So many brides don't do that anymore.

I wrote thank you's as gifts came in - I didn't want to be saddled with 100+ thank-yous are the honeymoon whe we were settling back into the work routine. We opened gifts that came to the house as they arrived, rather than stacking them up in a corner until after the big day.

In the traditional manner of things, gifts were ALWAYS sent ahead of the wedding, not carted to the ceremony/reception. The bride would receive the gifts at her parents' home, and it was customary to send a note as soon as the gift was opened. There was no huge display of gifts at the wedding reception as there is now, and the whole thing was more discreet.

So no, the thank you card arriving before the actual ceremony is not odd. Just more old fashioned. I would like to see a return to that old style of doing things. People who could ill-afford paying for a gift would simply send a note of congratulations to the bride/couple and there wasn't the pressure of consumerism.

We opened our gifts as they came in so I could make a note of who sent what. Along the same lines of organization, I sent my thank you card right after receiving any gift which did mean I sent some well before our wedding. Chuckle…I hope I didn't offend anyone.

I think it says a lot about this bride and her proper etiquette.

It is rare to get a thank you note these days. This bride obviously was raised with proper manners. Think of it this way.. if you had gone to her bridal shower, those gifts would have been opened and you probably would have received a thank you note from her.

I give the bride kudos for staying on top of a to do list. Thank you notes will be one less thing she has to worry about!

I'd be thankful to get the thank you note!!!

Many couples are opening gifts when they get them so that they don't lose track or not overwhelmed with the gifts and who sent what....I don't think it's weird at all...

i dont think it's strange. if they received it before the wedding and opened it then I think it's normal, I would have. we didnt have a "honeymoon" so after we got home from the reception we opened our gifts. but there were a few we got before hand and we opened them.

Well, since you sent it early and they received it early, I think it's fine that they wrote the thank you card KNOWING that you wouldn't be at the wedding. Now, it is completely proper to send a gift to the home of the bride before the wedding even if you are attending, but I think if the guests ARE attending, it's proper to send the thank you AFTER the wedding. And this is another reason why the RSVP card IS so important!

I don't think it was strange at all..good for her for staying on top of the thank you notes! I did the same thing with mailed gifts we received. Better than her forgetting or not sending one at all!

From a practical standpoint, it also lets you know - promptly - that the recipient received the gift. That's another reason (in addition to the many below) that it's more than OK for the couple to open gifts received before the wedding and send out thank you notes immediately.

I could see her opening it. Esp. since it probably arrived in a brown box on her doorstep.

I also wrote my thank you notes the moment I received them.. I even had 5 gifts that were delivered the morning of our wedding. I sat down and wrote the notes and popped them into the mail that same day. It was a good way to use up my maiden name stationary..

Of course the next day there were 100's of gifts to open that had been carried to the Wedding. We opened them and listed all of them, but WE did not write those till we came back from the honeymoon.

I even took our Married Thank you stationary on the Honeymoon to place our tip money and thank yous for the stewards and waiters on the cruise.

Proper etiquette says that you can open weddings gifts as they come and send out thankyou notes as soon as you want (the latest should be 6 months out).

Many open gifts the following day with close family & bridal party around, some opening them that night as soon as the reception is over, some wait till after the honeymoon.

Dita D. has it exactly right.
I did the same thing with gifts I received before my wedding.

My gifts from the registry were delivered directly to my house as soon as they were purchased. I did thank-you's early too. It sure made life easier. We had almost 300 guests. I would have never gotten them done if I didn't do them as soon as we got the gifts.

I think it's a great idea actually. She probably figures she'll have tons of gifts after the wedding to send notes for, so any she gets before hand she'll open and send a note now. That way, when they get back from the honeymoon and life gets back to it's normal crazy self, she'll already be partially done.

*hugs*

Great for her! I am one who likes to say thanks upon receipt and then send a formal thank-you once I start using the gift, unless I can't use it until much later. I like to be able to say more than hwo much I look forward to using it. I want to tell the gifter how I am enjoying the gift and how I have decided to use it.

I always open presents the second they hit the stoop.

I'm like that. Have to hide my Christmas presents.... just can't wait! ;)

It doesn't seem that odd to me that they may have opened their present, and why not send a thank you card before the mad rush of cards have to be sent out.

I think it's totally normal and thoughtful.

KATIE

Not strange IMO. If they didn't have room for all the gifts piling up (especially large shipping boxes), they may have opened them as they arrived and put them away. Then they promptly sent the thank you cards.

I think it's appropriate to write a thank you at the time of receiving the gift. I wrote mine asap and so often I got compliments on how quickly I did it. I don't agree with the idea that people have up to one year post marriage to send them.... to me, someone takes the time to get you a gift, why not thank them right away.... it's one less thank you to write after the wedding..

I think the only thing "odd" about it is that you got the note before the wedding. I *think* etiquette dictates you send thank you's after the wedding has taken place. So, totally great (and smart!) of her to get notes written as gifts were received, but she probably should have waited to mail them until right after the wedding. That's what I did: wrote them as I got them and then mailed them all at once.

Then again, considering the complete disregard for etiquette these days? At least you got a thank you in a timely manner! :-)

Oh, and I think the 1-year rule is for the GIVING of gifts--the thank you's should be written ASAP. I think within a month is acceptable??

Very prompt she is..Sounds like me..I think it's great she did that. By my wedding I had all the shower and bachlorette party thank you's done but not wedding :)

She might have the registry set up to notify her when a gift is purchased. Then at some point in the future they go pick them up. I think she was nice to be prompt.

Not strange, just totally efficient, in all ways!

I don't think its odd. Most people write a thank you note at the time of the gift. So, since it was before the wedding, it doesn't really mean anything. They were just being polite!

M

It is very considerate and entirely appropriate.