Stopping Breastfeeding - Cortez,CO

Seriously, I am really getting sick of the self-righteous, formula bashing that happens on this board. It is starting to border on freaky.
And I don't think your question was Whether to stop--it was HOW to stop, right.
A 2 yo can understand "No".
Have you sister put band aids on her nipples and tell her daughter that booby is broken.
This could become a real power struggle if your sister is "done" and her daughter "won't allow it."
If she needs to go a day or two with water or milk in cereal, she'll be OK. (nutritionally speaking).
If she can make it through a double shift w/out BFing I'm pretty sure she can make it through life.
Best of luck to your sister. She needs to make up her mind and stick to it!

Pamela: YOUR truth is not everyone's truth. Sorry but your views are almost bordering on abnormal and twisted. Not truth at all. Just a troubled misguided female focusing on exactly the aspect of womanhood which doesn't HAVE to define you. You poor baby.

H P.
Part of the problem is the kid is in control. Now, I fully believe in ownership.... so this goes against the grain so to speak. But if your SIL 'gives in' she is just teaching her daughter to NOT EVER quit because eventually she gets what she wants.

THIS WILL HAUNT YOUR SIL FOR THE REST OF TIME!!!!!!!!!

So, she has to teach her daughter that what mommy says mommy means. At this point I recommend cold turkey..... and it's gonna be tough.

But here's the thing about kids - they won't starve.

A couple notes.... She really doesn't need formula after 1 year, so if the taste of formula is what you think the issue is then go straight to milk - and I am fine with chocolate milk, because it isn't THAT bad for you.... especially if you make it yourself and from the beginning only use a bit of the chocolate sauce and mix it in.... makes it a teeeny bit sweeter, but they still get the calcium and vitamins etc.

You can also just give her nothing but water. eventually she WILL drink it.... if that's all that's offered. At 2 she should be all on table foods, or toddler foods so the nutrition she needs isn't coming from the breast. Make sure she gets calcium from other sources - cheese, yogurt etc.

Then - mom needs to take the weekend off. go on a trip. Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Her daughter will absolutely eat and drink while she's gone.... but it will be a rough go.

Good Luck.

I think Raven may have a point, and I think your SIL may not really want to quit either. I BF'd till my son was 2.5 years old, gradually dropping the nursing time. It does sound like it's more emotional than nutritional. Her daughter is old enough to understand a bit that she's needing love and comfort and not milk. Your DIL can start talking to her DD about not nursing anymore, BUT she needs to replace the nursing time with special DD time - perhaps just cuddling, or whatever, but DD needs the love and connection time. Make it gradual.

Hi-
Realize that this advice is coming from a Mom who allowed her children to self-wean using the don't offer don't refuse method. It's clear as day that her daughter doesn't want to stop and there isn't anything bad about continuing--in fact, it remains healthier for her to breast feed than any other source (cows milk, goats milk, formula, etc.). However, your sister needs to decide why she wants to stop. If she just isn't into it and doesn't enjoy it and has had it then it is a good idea to try to wean. However, if she is trying to wean because "society" thinks she should then that isn't a good reason. I agree with the post that says the daughter is emotionally attached to breast feeding, as it makes her feel secure. If she doesn't want to offer breast milk anymore, then trading that time for some other Mommy-toddler cuddling, special time will be the trick to weaning. I also agree that cold-turkey will cause anxiety and separation issues that could be more difficult to deal with then just breast feeding. Also, from a brain development perspective the child is not old enough to be in a power struggle with her mother. That takes higher brain functioning then a two-year old is capable of. She is simply trying to get her needs met. In short, the most compassionate way to wean will be to insure that her daughter's emotional need for Mommy time is satisfied in some other way--otherwise it could set up a trust issue in the future. The toddler doesn't understand why Mommy suddenly doesn't want to give her what she has always had every other day in her life. Most children will not self-wean before age 2 1/2, and the worldwide average, believe it or not, is actually between the ages of 3 and 4. Almost every other country in the world promotes breast feeding longer than in America--the WHO recommends AT LEAST the first two years. Those facts may help your sister understand. But please don't take my message wrong--I do believe that it has to work for both Mom and Baby.
Good luck to her!
J.

At two she should be able to drink whole milk (cows milk)... although she will still prefer breast milk... I think she would take better to cows milk than formula.

This might sound crazy... but have you tried giving her chocolate milk ever? My idea is this... if she takes it you could give her chocolate milk and slowly add less and less mix until you are giving her plain milk... If she takes juice, she might be interested in this new "sweet" beverage.

As far as stopping breastfeeding... your SIL can do it gradually by cutting down nursing sessions. It will help if she tries to spend plenty of "cuddle time" while she does it, so her daughter doesn't feel like she is losing that time with mom. BUT... until she has some sort of nutritious substitute (other than juice) to replace the breast milk... getting her to start transitioning is going to be important.

Your sister may have to use a little "tough love"- and sometimes just say no. It is healthy and OK for a two year old to learn that they can't have what they want, all the time. If your SIL is determined and consistent... the process will go much smoother, and in a few months you will all laugh and look back and say "wow, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be..."

Good Luck to you all!
-M.

If she is 2 she can understand no. Just tell her mommies boobs no longer work and put band aids over the nipples so even if she tries she can not get anything. It is ok if she is not drinking milk, there are plenty of other ways to get her dairy in, just increase her intake of yogurt and cheese. You can also try pedisure and yogurt drinks. At this age I would stay the best way to ween is cold turkey, and to hold your ground even if she throws a fit. She has to know that mom is in charge of moms body, not her.

Since she is two years old she does not need to drink a bottle or lots of milk in a sippy cup, as long as she is eating enough healthy foods she will be fine. Does she like cheese and yogurt? The issue of her not wanting a sippy cup of milk is really separate from the whole brestfeeding issue, as long as she is eating and drinking somethign while mom is gone she is not going to starve. Some klids go strait to a "real" cup because they do not like sippy cups, my oldest was like that. As for the nursing, she misses her mom when she is gone so long and breastfeeding is very comforting and familiar to her, it is a way for her to re-connect with mom and feel close to her again. I don't see any thing wriong with nursign a toddler, I breastfed my children until they were 2 1/2 and 3, my youngest is still nursing at 1 year right now. It is really not that unusual and it is good for the toddler's immune system. I would say taht weaning is a very personal experience between a motehr and her baby, and when they are ready, it will happen. Personally, I "replaced" nursing with cuddling, reading storybooks, and giving my child small treats instead of nursing them.

I always said that as soon as my kids got old enough to ask for it, they'd be to old for it. Until I had an 8 month old that was walking and could walk to me and lift my shirt up, obviously I wasn't going to stop nursing at 8 months. I nursed that particular little one until she was about 2 1/2. It's hard to tell from your post if her little girl is still on formula? If so, regular cows milk may be received better. I have one who never drank milk unless it was in cereal (He's 5 now and I can rarely get him to have a glass of chocolate milk even) So we just made sure he got lots of yogurt, cottage cheese etc to fill that gap since he was no longer nursing. Anyhow, back to my original point :) I was still nursing my daughter when I would get home from work around midnight. Daddy was letting her fall asleep in our bed because it would help her get to sleep faster and he was working the 5am shift and needed to go to sleep, so she would wake up and want to nurse when I would put her in her bed. I was about 12 week preggo and I got home one night and was just too exhausted. I simply put her in bed and told her that the milk was all gone. I laid with her until she fell asleep. A gentle reminder that the milk was all gone for a few days, along with some snuggling pretty much did it. She would stick her hand up my shirt and "pinch" my nipple for minute, or she would lift my shirt and rub her cheek against my breast, but she was just fine with not being able to nurse.

and a side note @Pamela, having nursed 3 kids, and 2 formula fed (Premie twins that I was able to pump for about 4 months with, but medical complications and med changes for me led me to have to switch to formula) I have to say, I found absolutely NOTHING self-righteous, judgemental or preachy about your post. I think you laid out the facts as they were, informative and true.

and @Denise, I don't think she was "formula bashing" Obviously you've formula fed your kids, and you have to admit, that stuff is nasty. It stinks, its funky colored. It gets the job done if it has to, but come on, natural milk, whether from the breast of a mother, or a cow or goat, is way more appetizing.

First off she is 2 and not a baby! She knows what she is doing and has taken over control!
She does not NEED milk to live and won't die if she doesn't have any. Just stop cold turkey! She will soon come around to drinking milk out of a cup. Just will take a bit of time.
We don't drink juice (total garbage for kids) but we just gave water to our kids and they soon got the hang of it and milk was soon accepted.
She wants the breast because of mom and how close she is to her... it is a comfort thing and not a need to live.
Sounds to me that if she doesn't take control now, this will a life long battle for who wears the pants in the family....