Stop the Screaming!

I don't know if you ever read or watched Little House on the Prairie or better yet read the books...but Laura and Mary were not allowed to go to town until they were about 5-6 years old, and church wasn't appropriate for anyone who couldn't control themselves. I'm not saying not to go to church, merely pointing out that for generations people have just followed the cues of their children and their chidlren's developmental phases. Our generation seems a bit out of touch with that.

As far as the church crying goes, either skip church, or have the pastor give a sermon on welcoming families at church with young children. Nothing wrong with a crying baby in church - they're part of God's family, too...

"As far as the church crying goes, either skip church, or have the pastor give a sermon on welcoming families at church with young children. Nothing wrong with a crying baby in church - they're part of God's family, too... "
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upon leaving the The local RC Church I found a small local church --- small children are a part of the package. Good bad and ugly some Sunday's. Also there is a special children's sermon just the little people who go to the front of the church to share in the lesson. Then all the kids leave to go to the nursery during the adult sermon for about 20 minutes and come back up afterward to finish the service.

I am still blushing as on our 50th Anniversary as a church our then Bishop McCoy gave the sermon. And there was my youngest Ian, rolling all over the floor in front of everyone.

He was just too cool about it. I would have been frowned upon by my former church.

There are different settings to fit different needs, sometimes just picking the right setting can be welcoming and eliminate the negatives.

good luck -- church is important for that little person, from the beginning.

M.,
Here are a few suggestions: If you have some friends with children his age or a little older try to get together with them once a week so he can adapt to the children. Maybe put him in a daycare one day a week, there are ones out there that do offer that. Try sitting in the nursery with him so he feels safe and not abandoned and maybe he will feel more at ease? I know you will miss service but in the long run maybe this would work? Just some suggestions... good luck!
Christina

I tend to view my children in terms of the BIG picture. What they're doing today which may be a nuisance is not necessarily something they'll be doing when they go away to college, right? In reading your post, my most overwhelming thought was, "How can attending the service be more important than spending time with your baby?" I realize we all have priorities, but this period of time in his life is a blip on the map compared to the big picture. This surely will not last forever (unless, as suggested below, it is a sensory integration issue), but your baby will only ever be this age once. You really have the rest of your life to attend service. Does your church have no way of 'piping' the service into the nursery so everyone can hear? What about taking turns with your husband? Do you think spending a couple of Sundays in the room (even volunteering to be a nursery worker) would help him ease the transition of being in a strange environment? I encounter a similar problem when attending our homeschooling co-op. I'd LOVE to go hang out with the other moms to chat, learn new things, etc... but, I have a 19 month old. So, I stay in the nursery and visit with those moms around the needs of our kids. It just is what it is and it won't last forever.

This may sound silly, but it worked for me. I had thae same problem with my youngest daughter. My mom suggested that i take a roll of scotch tape with me. When my Daughter got a little disruptive I tore off a piece of tape and stuck it to the back of her hand. It occupied her for a long time. She had fun peeling it off of her hand and trying to figure out how it was sticking to her fingers once she got it off her hand.The trying to see what else it would stick to. The only time she was bored with it was when it lost it's stickiness and I just gave her another piece.

We've been in a similar situation - no close playmates my son's age, and lots of kids at the church nursery. I found out purely by accident that if I took him back before any other kids were in the nursery, he was fine. When he came in after they were all there, he was overwhelmed. But when he was already there, he saw them come in one by one, and he could better control his introduction to them.

I'm wondering if your child exhibits any other symptoms that might indicate a larger problem. For instance, my third child screamed like that and it was an indication of sensory processing disorder. Things that we also saw in him:

Any type of chaos bothered him and made him come unglued. He hated places with bright lights and lots of activity, people moving or being in his space. He didn't like certain types of clothing (fussed when we'd put him in anything with cuffs or hoods). Things we realize now were there but didn't at the time: he was hypersenstive to sound and smell. The mail truck driving by woke him up. I had to take the phone off the hook at naps, couldn't clean or vacuum during naps...vacuuming at all at ANY TIME of the day bothered him. he hated having his feet and back and head touched. Diaper changes were miserable. he'd scream, get physical, fight us every step of the way. Bathtime was ok until it was time to wash him or his hair.

If ANY of these things ring true for you, grab the book "The Out of Sync Child" and then contact your county for an Early Intervention Screening.

Of course, it could be other things but I'm prone to point this type of thing out since nobody told me and I've since had another child with Sensory Processing Disorder.

I suggest you stay in the nursery with him for a few Sundays and then start leaving earlier and earlier over a period of a month or more. Some children can immediately adjust to new situations, they can process all of the activity quickly and find their place in it all. Some can't, so they need more time to get to the point where the place feels familiar and friendly to them.

Talk it up before you go, too. Build up his anticipation of this super fun toy filled room.

If he is still stressed even if you stay in there, and after 2 or three times doens't seems to be warming up to it, it *might* be sensory-related. Crowded nursery rooms may not be best for him right now.

I love the idea of the scotch tape, I've done that! It works!