Stop Baby from Hitting

I don't know if this is good advice... as I worry we are not doing the right thing... but it gets the result we want....

To this day at 22 months, from the very first time we tried, saying "no" sternly causes my daughter to laugh and repeat the action... whatever it is. I am not really sure how to resolve that problem.... but rather then try and try and fail... i just tried a different tactic.

Rather than say "NO", I just say her name and tell her to touch gently and it hurts mommy when she hits. Really any action that warrents a "NO", I replace with a quiet, gentle explanation and I ask her to say sorry. She always stops.... she really doesn't hit anymore at all. She understands what gentle touching is (especially because we showed her early on how to pet the cat).

So, I never say "no". I just physically stop her and tell her what to do instead. I am afraid it is not exactly "discpline" but my daughter is very well behaved.

My daughter also started hitting when she was around 18 months old. We repeatedly told her not to do this but when she was angry, the hitting just kept coming out. We finally began implementing 'time out' in the corner. She hated it but she began to realize that when she did something wrong, she was going to be punished. She eventually stopped hitting. Even today, when she's angry, I see her hand raised, about to strike, but she holds herself back and in seconds, drops her hand to her side. Hope this helps!

It seems like he is hitting for attention so stop giving it to him. When he hits you or anyone else turn your back to him, cross your arms and deliberately look away. He will be upset and pull on you to get your attention. Continue to ignore him for a minute or so and then nicely tell him you dont like it when he hits you and will NOT play with him. I guarantee you it wont take long before he stops.

My son, almost 18 months, is doing the same thing. Oddly enough, both when he is angry with us and also when he is excited AND, most frustrating, randomly sometimes. More me than Dad, too.

We've been doing time out. He definitely understands that. It helps, but creates high drama and much crying and I just don't want to overuse it. So, sometimes I just tell him hands are not for hitting, they are for gentle pets. A few times I've been able to catch him and turn a hit into a gentle caress or he's done it himself.

But I think you are right about wanting a reaction. And I think that my "random" hits (not out of anger or excitement) could just be for attention. (When he was 8 or 9 months he used to pull my hair in the carrier if I stopped to talk to someone for too long. Nobody believed me, but I am sure that he wanted my attention and did hair pulling intentionally). So, this is my most recent approach and maybe the only real advice I can give. Recently, if he hits me while we're playing, I just let him see how hurt I am. I don't even bother to scold him or say no, because I know he knows it's wrong. I abruptly put him down, or stop playing or just walk away from him and go read a book. I show him that I don't want to be with him if he is hitting. And he always comes and finds me and wants to play, so I always make sure to tell him that hands are not for hitting and that I don't want to play with him if he hits me. (Also, with time out, I always remind him why he was put into time out before I take him out). Good luck.

HI Tahara
Congrats on a wonderful baby boy.
Sounds to me like he has figured out the game you are playing and likes it. It is not hurting him or he would not like it.
Perhaps he likes the look on your face. Teach him to pat you rather than hit. When babies are hitting you it doesn't really hurt you and you can easily say "nice mommy" and move his hand to patting motion. or
Just change his activity so he doesn't hit, put him down.
Just some motherly advice. I probably am old enough to be your mom, talk to your mom. She'll love telling you stories.
God bless you & your family
K. SAHM married 38 years ---- adult children 37,33,and twins 18-- now there was hitting an biting and alot of changing of activities with the at that age. I put one in the playpen and one out.

This is exactly what my 15 month old son does now. It's the only time I really use a time out! I have a pack-n-play in another room. If he hits once, I do what you do. "No hitting mama! If you hit again, you will have a time out!" with a stern voice and holding his hands gently but firmly. If he does it again, I pick him up and say it again, then take him and place him in the pack-n-play. I sit in the room near him, but don't look at him or respond at all.

After 45-60 seconds, I take him out and soothe him. And tell him, "No hitting mama! If you hit mama, you get a time out. I love you sweetie. Please don't hit mama."

I do this every time. He screams like a maniac! But I think it's so so so important! (And I really think he's starting to get it!) Ignoring whining or fussing makes sense. But ignoring hitting doesn't, in my opinion. It's something that could easily transfer to hitting other children or animals. I don't think 15 months old is too early to be taught that hitting is wrong.

he may just be looking for some undivided attention with you. Just a thought, kids will seek any attention if they are not getting the good attention, at that point he will do whatever it takes to get whatever attention he can get. Does not mean you are neglecting him, means he is demanding attention no matter what it is. you said it seems like you are telling him no all the time, at this age you need to say "no no" and redirect him to something else. if that does not work and he starts to hit and laugh about it, don't smile, just pick him up and put him in his playpen where he is left with just his toys and ignore the tantrum if he throws one. if he throws them out of the playpen for attention, don't pick them up and don't acknowlegde what he did. ignore the bad behavior. when he settles down and is being pleasant again, then go get him and say hi there buddy, don't mention the bad behavior, just go on as if it did not happen. eventually he will realize that he gets no attention for that behavior.

Dear Tahara,
When my son was about the same age, he began biting. I must have scolded him 2 dozen times, without success. Then one day I had enough, I took his arm and bit him. On the verge of tears, he announced, "That hurt." I explained that that's how it feels when he bites someone else. He never bit anyone ever again, and that was 20 years ago.
W.