Still Nursing 19 Month Old & Trying for Baby #3

Updated on January 11, 2008
A.L. asks from Toledo, OH
18 answers

Hi moms,

I wanted to get some advice from mom's who may have gone through this before. I exclusively breastfed my daughter for a year, and now we are down to bedtime feedings, and sometimes during the night if she wakes up (not often). I don't mind this situation, I never really set a goal for how long we were going to do this, I figured I would leave it up to her. So my question is, my husband and I have started trying for a third child, and I wondered if there are any cautions I need to take when we do conceive. Have any of you gone through this, and continued to nurse? Or did you stop, and why? I know that in the last few months of pregnancy nursing can cause contractions--but what about in the early stages? I will discuss these things with my OB when we conceive, but I just wanted a little advice in case I need to start weaning her now. In case anyone wants to know, I have been menstrating regularly for about 6 months, so the aspect of getting pregnant I am not as worried about. Thank you all so much!

A.

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A.A.

answers from Lexington on

It's perfectly safe to breastfeed all through pregnancy! The only time you might need to take precautions is if you have some serious preterm labor or something extreme like that.

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M.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I continued to breastfeed my oldest daughter while pregnant with #2, until after I had the baby. I was in a yahoo group for women pregnant and nursing. Most women found it very difficult to continue between weeks 20 and 30, when the milk supply is at its lowest. After that, most women get colostrum and it is less painful. I cut nursings down to once a day and weaned at night. That meant having dad offer a cup of water or a yogurt in the middle of the night if she was truly hungry. Also, I had to walk her to sleep in the sling a few nights because she was used to nursing to sleep.

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A.A.

answers from Dayton on

I BFed my daughter until she turned 2, and she weaned herself. I did not BF through pregnancy, but I volunteer as a peer breastfeeding counselor, and here's what I've come across- You can most definitely keep bfing until and through the birth of your second child with out complications to your pregnancy. A lot of older children will wean themselves, however, when you become pregnant because the milk changes in taste and consistency (from the demands of an older child back to colostrum in anticipation of your new baby). If your older child continues to nurse, though, it won't cause any problems to your pregnancy. Just make sure you're eating enough healthy calories to take care of three people instead of just two, though! Good luck and kudos for extended nursing!

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L.N.

answers from Lexington on

Hi, I conceived while still nursing regularly and had to cut back to once per day due to extreme nipple sensitivity.

I also did some reading up on it since I had similar questions. I think continuing to nurse is okay, but doctors won't usually recommend it. I did some reading on other mom's lists and there are ladies who have done it. I was primarily concerned if the hormone changes I was undergoing were going to adversely affect my 11 month old (now almost 16 months.) As far as I can tell, they don't really...? But maybe it is something to ask a doctor to be sure. The other thing about your uterus contracting, supposedly it contracts just as much or more when you orgasm and they *do* recommend having sex if you and your husband are up for it and there are not extenuating physical complications (like you being diagnosed for placenta previa for example). Supposedly all your happy hormonal releases makes for a happy baby in tummy :)

Supposedly also a lot of babies self-wean in the 3rd trimester since the taste of the milk really changes then and they don't like it. I have heard tell of some mothers stopping nursing and then letting their child start up again when the baby was born but often times the older child shows little interest in starting up again.

For myself, I cut back to 1x per day and figured that the rest would work itself out.

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L.S.

answers from Dayton on

You don't need to do anything. Often, when you become pregnant, your nursing child will wean herself. The milk must taste different or something. I have several friends who nursed, became pregnant, then their children stopped nursing within a couple months. Chances are, your child will do the same and if not, your OB will advise.

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L.W.

answers from Columbus on

I nursed successfully for the first 4 months of my second ( and last) pregnancy. Then she just lost interest one week and we were done! Amazing since I thought it was going to be a terrible pain for both of us to wean since she was quite attached.

I suggest using your gut instinct...our bodies tell us amazing things if we listen close enough.

Best Wishes!

P.S. Just for info, I'm still nursing baby #2 at 22 mths. It has come in handy because she is a very picky eater. A friend told me she probably is more picky because she prefers the breastmilk...:)

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A.T.

answers from Cleveland on

A., my two oldest are so close in age that I conceived when my oldest was 9 mo. old. I continued to nurse him till he was 16 mo.'s. Never bothered me at all.. In fact, I think that's why I stayed so healthy during my 2nd pg. I didn't wean him. He weaned himself. If it weren't fir his loss of interest, I know for a fact that I would have nursed him till birth of my daughter.
God bless,
A.

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K.I.

answers from Cincinnati on

A.,

I was down to nursing my almost 2-year-old only at nap and bedtime when I conceived my second. Soon, nursing became painful because I dried up and there just was no more milk so we had to stop. My firstborn had one night with a tantrum, two nights a bit fussy, and then was fine. I would often read him to sleep, so he didn't even notice the lack of nursing.

Best wishes,
K.

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P.V.

answers from Columbus on

Good for you for nursing as long as you have!! I have just one baby, he is eight months old and still nursing, which I plan to do for awhile longer. SO I don't exactly know the answer to your question, BUT I highly reccommend attending a La Leche League meeting in your area! I have definitely encountered women who are pregnant and still nursing. Plus it is just such a wonderful support network for breastfeeding. I love hearing other womens' stories, and the facilitator would certainly have advice for you. Good luck on #3! Cheers!
P. (Columbus)
p.s. I think the site is www.lalecheleague.org

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

i have known other mom's that nused though pregnancy. but had to stop becuse the hormones cause their milk to dry up. i don't think it should be a problem though as for any complications with next pregnancy. Kudos for being able to nurse your baby for so long.

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K.H.

answers from Columbus on

I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter when my first was only 8 months old. I was still nursing and my OB told me to quit immediately. I think it's personal preference for each doctor. My neighbor's kids are 12 months apart and she was told she should stop nursing the older one when she got to 24 weeks pregnant. I was told nursing while very early pregnant can cause miscarriage and then later in pregnancy, early contractions.
My doctor put it to me this way... when you're pregnant, the baby takes 100% of what it needs from you. To make milk, your body is taking away from the baby's "bank." So, the older child doesnt need you to nurse, but the baby needs everything you can give to him or her.
Makes sense to me...good luck with whatever you choose.

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M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Just another vote for being able to nurse while pregnant - we TTC for baby #2 when my 1st child was just over 2 yrs old. Our kids are 35 months apart (just under 3 yrs apart). While pregnant w/ #2, my 1st continued to nurse and I was totally fine with that. Unfortunately I had pretty awful nausea for about 3 months, and for me there was also some nipple discomfort while nursing so I did limit her to 2 or 3 nursings per day, sometimes limiting the length of the nursings if it was too uncomfortable.

I was willing to nurse through the pregnancy and even open to tandem nursing, however half-way through the 2nd trimester (when DD was about 2.5 yrs old), she self-weaned probably because my supply was dwindling as well as her being older and perhaps on the way to self-weaning anyway.

So please trust your own instincts regarding nursing while pregnant - OBs typically have little to no experience with mothers who are pregnant and nursing an older baby, so I would be very, very skeptical of their breastfeeding advice (with the exception of this --> if my pregnancy were very high risk including a history of pre-term labor).

Others have pointed you to La Leche League - don't hesitate to call a leader (or 2 or 3!) if you'd like information and support on breastfeeding while pregnant. Additionally, I love the kellymom.com website for evidence-based breastfeeding information - click on the section in the upper right hand side of the page entitled:

Pregnancy Tandem Breastfeeding

Best of luck! :)

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K.D.

answers from Cleveland on

My oldest two are 11 months a part. When the oldest was about 4-5 months my milk dried up which my dr told me could happen. He told me I could breastfeed till I was 6 months along with baby #2 but I didn't make it that far.

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N.C.

answers from Dayton on

Hello. I was told that nursing while pregnant is not a problem, however, every situation is unique. My friend had nursed during 2 pregnancies and on one of them her daughter weaned herself (she was almost 2 years old) because it tasted different while she was pregnant. Her son, however, had no problem nursing all the way through her next pregnancy, and yes nursing caused terrible cramping in the last few months. Hope this helps.

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A.Y.

answers from Cleveland on

regarding what some have said about growing baby taking 100% of what it needs from mama while the older babe can have other things - it's totally treating women like we're nothing more than babygrowers/feeders (this is the major part of the reason that I switched to midwifery care at the start of my 2nd trimester with my first pregnancy - even the female OB didn't seem to trust my body or my mind to know what it was doing). Yes, the developing fetus takes 1005% of what it needs from mama, but it's not taking 100% of MAMA! 100% of what the fetus' dietary needs comes to about a 25% increase in calorie consumption for mama from what I remember, and if you're a "typical American bodytype" (i.e. carrying a little extra padding) to begin with, you've got plenty of stored baby-growing fat for both children without worry. If you're underweight, it could be an issue, but not one that eating compensating calories can't take care of.

I conceived my 2nd just fine while continuing to nurse my 1st, he semi self-weaned right around the start of my 2nd trimester (semi because he would still ask every once in a great while after that and I let him nurse when he asked, still do when it's doable but getting harder with 18lb 6mo baby taking up more and more lap space!). Contractions are not an issue unless you have other factors that are a concern. Basically, if it's safe to have sex, it's safe to breastfeed. We all have contractions throughout the pregnancy, breastfeeding or not, and later pregnancies usually have more braxton hicks contractions regardless of what else you're doing from what I've heard (I had a lot of BH contractions toward the end this time around even tho 1st wasn't nursing and I was too darn exhausted for sex! My due date was questionable because of my irregular cycle, he was born 6 days after the earliest due date I was given based upon LMP and 10 days before when I thought I was due based upon when I thought I conceived based upon ovulation tracking with several other dates thrown in between from a first trimester and second trimester ultrasound... for what it's worth he was 7lbs 12oz which was 9oz lighter than his big bro's birth weight, big bro was born the day after the due date given by his 18wk ultrasound, which was almost 2 weeks past the due date that LMP gave).

Take everything your OB tells you about breastfeeding with a whole ton of salt - they are NOT lactation experts, OBs are trained to medically manage births not babies. If you're really concerned, talk to a lactation consultant or pro-breastfeeding pediatrician or family practice doctor (our family practice doctor, Dr. Jennifer Snyder in Lakewood, is very pro-breastfeeding and gave realistic advice through my pregnancy. I'll try to remember to put her in the recommended companies thing here).

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T.P.

answers from Canton on

I am still nursing my 2nd son, at 21 months and we, also, are TTC baby #3. I don't think there's any harm in it at all. We're down to 1 feeding a day, and sometimes he even skips a day. I'm letting him self-wean at his own pace, and have no issue with it whatsoever. There are many moms who have done tandem nursing, a newborn and toddler. It shouldn't be a concern, esp. since you said you *are* going to speak with your OB any ways. Go for it! I don't know many nursing moms of toddlers, so to see one around the same age as my little boy is refreshing. Good luck to you! ::::::::Baby Dust:::::::::::

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J.S.

answers from Lexington on

I was still nursing my 11 month old when I became pregnant. I continued to nurse her until she was a year and would have liked to continue past that. However, my ob/gyn was pretty insistent that I wean her. I'm a little foggy as to the reasoning ( a two and three year old will do that to your brain). It seems as though he was concerned about my body having enough nutrients for the baby as well as me if I was depleting it through nursing. Hope this helps.

J. S.

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J.W.

answers from Columbus on

I found out that I was pregnant with #2 when I was still nursing #1 at 16 months. I continued to nurse till he was 19 months. Then I found out that I was pregnant with #3 when I was still nursing #2. #2 was 7 months at the time and I nursed him till he was almost 10 months, but my Dr. said that as long as I didn't experience any cramping or excessive bleeding that I could continue till he was 12 months old. The only reason I stopped nursing sooner is because my body was having trouble nursing and being pregnant at the same time, I was not producing very much milk, so I started giving him bottles. Hope this helps.
-J.

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