Staying Home Alone

I actually had a course on this several years ago back in the State of North Dakota. There are a few factors to determine this.

1) State Law. This varies state-to-state, so you need to find out what your state law considers the minimum age at which to leave a child alone (if even for a short time). States such as MN and ND state age 12, whereas the state of Missouri doesn't not specifically have a law in place as to the minimum age as even a 12 may be considered incompetent to stay home alone depending on the maturity level of the child. Just because one 12 year old can stay home alone doesn't mean another is ready to do so. I've known some 9 y/o that were babysitting siblings while others do not attempt to do so until much older.

2) Before making your final decision on home-alone care for your child, you should ask yourself eight (8) critical questions: A "no" to any of these questions indicates that your child should encounter problems and that home-alone arrangements should be reconsidered.

A) Do I have a positive attitude toward my child's home-alone experience?

B) Is my child old enough to be left alone?

C) Is my child emotionally mature enough, regardless of age, to assume the responsibility of self-care?

D) Has my child been adequately prepared for the basics of self-care?

E) Does my family life in a safe neighborhood where crime is low and community cohesion high?

F) Can neighbors and community facilities be depended upon as support systems?

G) Will my child be in a self-care for short time periods?

H) Will my child have some type of distant or close adult supervision during self-care?

Taken from "Home-Alone Kids, The Working Parent's Complete Guide to Providing the Best Cre for Your Child" by Bryan E. Robinson, Bobbie H. Rowland and Mick Coleman.

3) If you decide that your child is old enough to stay home alone, be sure you have them prepared putting information into a 3-ring binder by the phone. Some of the informaiton you should include would be the following:

+9-1-1 and other emergency contact numbers and discuss when to use them

+FIRE SAFETY/EMERGENCY INFORMATION and a Fire Escape Plan (Practice this with your child on a regular basis and BEFORE you leave him/her alone.

+WEATHER EMERGENCIES-This is what to do in the event of tornadoes, Thunderstorems, Blizzards to name a few.

+COOKING SAFETY (If you are allowing your child to cook.) If not, then you need to make them aware of this and have healthy snack foods that your child does not have to cook.

+The Book I have actually has a "Safe at Home Alone" game board in the middle of it that kids can play and learn from.

+ANSWERING THE PHONE AND DOOR. This section covers teaching kids when and how to answer the phone, take messaes, answering the door, and coming home.

+HOUSE RULES.

+MEDICAL EMERGENCIES. This covers first-aid. Make sure you have a first aid kit fully stocked. Also your child should know basic first aid should they need to use it.

+SAFETY CHECKLIST

+ CONSIDERATIONS FOR SELF-CARE RULES
-Play and Friends
-Telephone
-Chores
-Homework
-Sibling Care
-Snacks and Cooking
-TV

The list goes on...I have other information that is too much to list here. If you would like more information, please contact me.

My son was in 3rd grade when he started coming home after school by himself, it was only for an hour that year. I started off slow, a quick trip to the store, and things like that. He is in 4th grade now and still doing well, he calls every day to let me know he's made it home.
I checked and checked trying to find the "legal age", and what I had found in Kansas was just based on maturity. I agree with what the others have said, it's just sort of based on your own kid.

My son has stayed at home since he was seven. Not for extended periods, but he intensely dislikes going to a babysitter or daycare and is a very reliable kid. He never gets into anything. He is almost 11 now and we've never had a problem with him staying home. Our daughter on the other hand is almost 10 and we still don't trust her home alone. She is just to immature and unreliable, always getting into things she shouldn't. So it really depends on your child and where you live. Also, make sure your child has a phone so he can always reach you in case he is scared (ours never is) or needs something.

I am thinking that state law is 12 years old - or it can be considered child abodment. I know that our daughter is 10 and we still dont leave her home alone.

I think it really depends more on the maturity level of your child than the child's age. We let our son stay home for short periods of time (while we ran to the post office, for example) when he was about 9-10 years old. My daughter was about the same age; however, my nephew, who is 12, does not have the maturity and responsibility to be left home without supervision--there just wouldn't be a house to come back to! Know your child, and make sure your child knows safety rules, and when YOU ARE COMFORTABLE with it, give it a try, maybe for 10, 15 minutes until he proves to you he can handle it. As he shows responsibility, gradually increase the amount of time he is left alone until you are both comfortable leaving him for longer periods of time. Good luck!

One more thought.... If you have any neighbors who stay home, maybe see if they would check in with your son, or have your son "check-in" with you and the neighbor when he gets home? I have always have said that I would be happy to do that for our neighbors, but they never take me up on the offer. Just a thought.

I definitely agree that it depends on the maturity of the child. I was babysitting other kids when I was 11, but my sister wasn't even ready to be left by herself until she was 13. Before doing anything, go over all the safety rules and contact numbers and make sure he knows all of them! Not trying to scare you, but I had a friend in middle school that ended up getting badly burned because her parents never taught her how to use the stove, never told her not to use the stove while they were gone, and never went over how to get out of the house if a fire was to start. It could have easily been prevented. Once your son has got all of the safety stuff done, maybe start out by leaving him and having a neighbor check in every half hour or so and then taper that off until you're comfortable with him staying alone. Trust your instincts, they're usually right.