Stay at Home Moms Help!!

Hahaha--no--that's not realistic at all!
I had to chuckle when I read this! I was about 40 when I left FT work to stay home, and WOW all I can say is that unless you put effort into having a plan and getting organized...it can be like the movie Groundhog Day! lol
I always thought SAHMs had it so cushy and easy!
You will wonder when you had the time to work.
A good balance for me is working PT. (Although I must say that the days I am working are definitely my "easy" days!)
It's very rewarding though and if you can do it--give it a try.

i have joined and now am a co-organizer of a moms meetup group on meetup,com. I have met a lot of moms with kids my childs age and a great support network which is critical in the winter! good luck to you!!!

Being a stay-at-home mother is much harder than people think. You are still really busy with house cleaning, cooking, shopping, kiddos, etc. It can also be frustrating at times because instead of being able to go home and leave work behind you are ALWAYS at your work... living at your work... living IN your work. I have two small children that will be starting in homeschooling soon so I will not get the luxury of sending them off to school and getting my house clean. It might be a little easier for you since your kiddos will be out of the house, even for a short time, because you can get much needed housework or other things accomplished where I still have to deal with the crying, screaming, fighting, feeding, diaper chances, mess making, etc 24/7 without getting away or having a break to relax. Being able to stay home is a wonderful privileged though and if you can do it then I say go for it. Don't worry about your days... they will eventually fill up if they are not full from the beginning. Dropping children off, picking children up, naptimes, meal times, grocery shopping, house cleaning, washing clothes, running other errands... it all adds up! Blessings!

It sounds like you are already on the right track. The biggest mistake that I made initially was that I looked at it like my husband worked full time M-F, I worked fulltime M-F then he and I shared a 3rd job nights and weekends cleaning the house, doing errands, laundry etc. By staying at home I thought I'd be able to take that 3rd job that we shared and do that M-F while being at home with the kids and then we can have wonderful stress free family time at night and on the weekends. The problem is just watching the kids and trying to keep them engaged and learning is another full time job on it's own. So I was expecting myself to do 2 full time jobs now in the time that I used to do one. As I've gotten into a routine and the kids have gotten older I can honestly say that I do accomplish most of those chores during the week so that we don't have to do them nights and weekends but in the beginning with really little ones it's hard and I was getting really frustrated with myself because I couldn't figure out how I wasn't able to keep up with it all since I was at home all the time!

When you work outside the home you usually can look back on your day and say I finished A, B and C. You have a since of completion. It's sometimes hard to find that in any given day when you're with the kids. Honestly, some days success is simply the fact that everyone was dressed and fed for the day.

Are there other stay at home moms in your neighborhood that have a play group or could you start one? Connecting with other moms is helpful to keep the sanity too.

Good luck,
K.

I recently quit my job to stay home with my 3 kids as well and it is quite an adjustment, but I love it. You need to work out a budget to stay in line with spending because that has changed a lot since dropping down to one income. I also was very nervous about what we would do all day long and how I would get into a routine, but it comes pretty quickly. I do chores during nap time and have a schedule of what I want to get clean each day. That way it isn't overwhelming and I am not spending all nap time cleaning - I can have some time to relax or check my e mail. There are a lot of books you can read about making the transition to SAHM - I read several that gave me some ideas and confidence. Check for some on Amazon or your local library. I also like crock pot meals you can make in the morning when the kids are a little more independent. I find at the end of the day they are tired and cranky and making a meal that takes a lot of preparation at that time can be difficult. I can honestly say that I love staying home and have never looked back on my decision to quit working. Good luck to you!

I am a stay at home mom to a 10 year old and triplet who will turn 8 next month. I left a full time teaching position nearly 11 years ago with the birth of my oldest and although we too have had to make big cutbacks, I never regret my decision. I do a great deal of volunteering at my childrens' schools and they love seeing me there. And trust me, my house if far from sparkly!
You will find a routine and the excitement on your daughter's face when you are the first one she sees after school, will assure you that you are making the right decision. Staying home is not the right choice for everyone, but if it works for you, don't feel bad about it, no one can care for your children like you can. Good luck.

I have been staying home since my first was born 4 1/2 years ago and I just love it! I really didn't think I would be cut out for it, but I decided to give it one year to try it out and I just couldn't imagine going back to work after that! My daughter is in preschool and my son is in a Mom's Day Out 2 days per week, so I do all of my errands, doctor appointments, grocery shopping and large home projects (like cleaning out closets, etc) on those days. I also like to try to do some volunteering during this time. The rest of the days, we spend at the library, park, zoo or other activities and sometimes have playdates with friends. As far as a schedule, it kind of depends on your kids and their ages. You said you have an 8 month old, so I'm assuming the baby is still taking 2 naps per day. This limits what you can do if you want those naps to be at home in the crib. However, as it cools off more, you can put the baby down and then let the older kids play outside (this is key if you have a day when you don't go anywhere because they have to get their energy out somehow!). Find out what the library schedule is for story time. My kids love doing that! We miss our toddler time because it's during my kids' school time, but we still go to the library once every week or two and check out books and let them play for a little while (they have a small toddler area). Again, the zoo is great if you have one close because the kids never seem to get tired of going there. We just get a family annual membership and then we can go as much as we want! You'll have to find activities in your area, but also see if you can find a playgroup and make some new friends.

As for the housework and cooking. I make a meal plan for the week and shop to that list. That way, I know at the beginning of the week what I'm going to be making for meals and I stick to that (I even incorporate leftover night). It helps because I can take into account things that might be going on in our schedule and dinner isn't always such a chore. If we're going to be out in the afternoon and I won't have time to do any dinner prep, then I cook something in the crock pot that day and put it in there in the morning. The housecleaning can go one of two ways. You can work on a room at a time and rotate throughout the week (one room per day) or you can do it by chore (all mopping, dusting, bathrooms, etc.) rotated by day. I have heard people swear by flylady.net, so you might want to check that out. I don't use it personally, but lots of people love her!

I think you're really going to enjoy being home with your kiddos and it might take a few weeks or months, but you will find a schedule that works for you and your family. Best of luck to you!

I stayed home for 10 years with my 2 girls and just went back to work, so am in the opposite situation. I LOVED staying home with them, it takes all the stress out of sick days and eliminates fights with hubbie about whose job has priority, etc. I am very organized and kept my kids on a schedule - naptime, lunchtime, dinner time, bedtime (although naptime for little one seemed to always be at preschool pick-up or drop-off). But we also had PJ days where we would do hardly anything at all. Moms groups or play dates are essential - for the adults! - to keep some kind of contact with grown ups. My husband also did a lot of after work entertaining, so in return he would give me free time on the weekends (usually late Saturday afternoon into evening) to do what I wanted (walk, take a bath, meet friends) but sometimes I would just go grocery shopping without the kids in tow. The house was picked up if not clean, the kids happy and relaxed, mom a little lonely at times, money tight so meals at home and consignment shopping. Family is a team effort and it sounds like hubbie is on board for the changes, so relax and enjoy, this time will fly way too fast (my 13 year old is getting into the single-syllable responses and she used to tire me out with her constant babbling).

I have always worked...sometimes 2 jobs...but My husband and I decided I should stay home after the birth of our twins (this gave us 4 kids)....It has been the best thing ever....If you have the opportunity...DO SO!!! You will be happier, your children will be happier and you and your husband can relax...cutting back was the easy part...No more gas bills, lunches out, tolls and upkeep of the car was a huge benifit... so get rid of all extras and enjoy your kids.... I even watch kids for extra money... I have 1 little girl I only have 3 days a week - it helps me earn cash and I still get to be there for my kids.

House work... you will figure out a routine...; Now, I am a neat freak and work extra hard in this area - but you will find a routine that works for you and your kids...just do a room or 2 every day and you will be amazed how clean things can get... Dinner routines will work themselves out as well. 8 months is a great age...lots of naps and time in a play pen... you will figure it all out!

You may even want to find a sitter for just 1 day a week and go do some just mommy things... grocery shop...catch a movie...go to lunch with a friend or your husband...volunteer at your childs school...

You will be so happy to be able to be part of all aspects of thier lives...

I hope it all works out for you!

ive been a stay at home mom for about 5 years and it is tough!

what helps me is having a general schedule for everything. I dont try to keep the house spotless by any means (my son makes that impossible) but i try to set a schedule to work on one part of the house on this day, the other part of the house on the next day, etc. that way i can aim to have the house generally organized and at least ONE room is clean! lol.

i do work from home to help with the bills. only having one income is rough and i dont make a ton of money or anything, but even an extra couple hundred bucks really helps. It also gives me an outlet away from feeling like i am "just a mom", so i generally spend an hour or 2 through the day (very rarely all at once) working a bit.

Planning a meal schedule will help keep your budget low too. that way you arent going to the store and over spending on junk food or buying stuff that will go bad before you get around to using it.

So I have a 3.5 year old, cargiver for MIL and preddo w/ #2 here is my routine.
Get up at 630 get MIL up and coffee, go back to bed till daughter wakes up (around 8). Get her dressed make breakfast and do put dishes away + load of laundry. Shower, lunch, then perschool (4 days a week).
Grocery shop or pay bills, Thur I clean dowwnstairs, Fri upstairs
Pick her up (swim on Tues) Play time with her outside inside depending n weather. Make dinner eat, bath time and laundry time if any. Then hang out watch kids shows then daughter and MIL bedtime, watch my shows then bed.
Somedays more to do then others and ofcourse this varies but thats a basic day

I will say that in order to get as much done as possible without needing to kick the cat in frustration this is what works for me:

Do crockpot and one dish meals like casseroles soups and stews as often as I can. We have also had many a "Spaghetti Night" because it's fast and easy - especially if you get the frozen meatballs.

My entire world revolves around nap time. I pick up as I go throughout the day including rinsing the dishes and putting them directly in the washer, wash a load of laundry at night, transfer to the dryer in the morning and do another in the morning, and then when I lay them down do what I like to call "the flight of the bumblebee." Thats when I do the busywork like mopping, bathrooms, dusting and folding the clothes I cleaned earlier.

My 4 yr. old is napping less so I will let him watch a movie or some other quiet activity during naptime.

There will be days you feel like supermom and days where it will look like you did nothing at all. Counsel your husband in advance about the unwise decision to say things like, "What happened here?" or "What did you do all day?". A little forewarning goes a long way to keeping the peace. =)

Hope you have as much fun at home as I do!

L.

Hi, I quit my full-time job 7 years ago to stay home. It can be a struggle to be honest, but great too! Joining a local DuPage mom's group was the best thing I could have done! Think about doing that if you do decide to move forward. Meetup.com is a great resource to find something like that.

I was a working FT mom and tried to do it all and always was stressed out but found a way of getting help and having my kids enjoy a quality life! Consider having an au pair, they can help with the kids, they have energy to focus on the kids, they can work 45 hours a week at a very affordable rate and you can select the hours you need to have them work. You can carefully select someone who fits your needs and lifestyle. Meanwhile youget to keep your job, which by the way, consider yourself lucky to even be employed in this economy. If you have more questions, I can answer them for you!
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I was a working FT mom and tried to do it all and always was stressed out but found a way of getting help and having my kids enjoy a quality life! Consider having an au pair, they can help with the kids, they have energy to focus on the kids, they can work 45 hours a week at a very affordable rate and you can select the hours you need to have them work. You can carefully select someone who fits your needs and lifestyle. Meanwhile youget to keep your job, which by the way, consider yourself lucky to even be employed in this economy. If you have more questions, I can answer them for you!
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I have found that making a rigid schedule doesn't help me. It just stresses me out. What I do is use a notebook to write down what I need to accomplish each day. I do it the night before or a few days ahead. The list includes things like: What's for dinner, laundry, errands, library story time, dr. appointments, calling to make the dr. appointments, pay bills, etc. I try to pick one room each day to clean. If I don't have a rigid schedule, then I can adjust what gets done when based on the attitude of my kids and myself.
As far as keeping the house neat, I got rid of the nick nacks and clean out the toys every month, getting rid of anything broken and not age appropriate.

I don't have any advice, but I really appreciate the question and all of the comments...I too am in a similar situation. My husband and I have a 14 month old and another on the way. I have been given the o.k. to stay at home but have always worked full time and have considered myself more of a career woman. I really feel blessed that I can have this opportunity, but it scares me silly to pull the plug and actually do it. All of the advice on routines and your opinions in general about staying at home really help, all in all I think I will be much happier when I just take the leap of faith :).

I am up around 6:45 to start getting myself ready for the day. My oldest (kindergarten) gets up a bit after 7:00 to eat and get ready for school. After we take him to school, the little boys and I eat breakfast. Then they either watch a couple cartoons or play while I do dishes/laundry/cleaning, etc. We eat lunch around 11:00 or 11:30 so that my preschooler can go off to school after noon. When we get home from dropping him at school, the baby naps while I get a few more things done. My preschooler is picked up at 3 and the kindergartener by 3:30... Then snack, more playing, and wait for daddy to get home.

Eventually you'll find a schedule that works for you. You also have to expect that things won't always go as you've scheduled because you stop to play with the kids or someone get sick. But, it's always nice to have some kind of ruitine. And, don't expect a sparkley clean house... My house is usually the cleanest from 8 pm until 8 am (the times the boys are asleep! haha) Best of luck and enjoy getting to stay home... It can be stressful but quite rewarding!

Staying at home won't be quite the same kind of scheduling that happens in the work-world. Set times for everything I think are best tossed out the window. Not that there aren't routines, but being flexible is really important and I think takes some stress out of situations and helps fuel resiliency - and you'll need plenty of that. And don't get too hung up on having a perfectly neat house. It's not very realistic. I'd go for clean first then neat. Mostly, have fun exploring this and find what works best for you - and that may change day to day!!

I have also been a SAHM for 4yrs. Same reasons, child care prices are out of control. You work just to pay for child care and gas. Makes no sense to me. However, I love to know that I now can be a SAHM and have a Career also. I make money on the side and work with clients on my own schedule with both my businesses.
If you're a hard worker and like to be productive the this is my suggestion. Find a franchise business you can work from home and call your own. Not all businesses cost a ton of $$$. Make sure there's a strong market for the product and that you can distribute it on a flexible schedule. Then you can be with your kids and work on your own time making that extra $$ on the side. I LOVE IT! And working for yourself and your personal needs is soulfully cleansing ; )

I'm a stay at home mom of 2 and it is the best time I have ever had. One just started kindergarten and the other just turned 2. I have been blessed that my husband gave me the blessing to quit my full time job when I had my son. But in February I found a link that gave me the opportunity to still stay at home and make some extra money on my schedule. When you get to that point which will probably take a month or 2 to set a routine, contact me and I will let you know about the link.