Stay at Home Mom Struggling with Returning to work...HELP!!!

Updated on February 12, 2009
S.L. asks from Kirbyville, TX
21 answers

I am having an issue. I have been a stay at home mom for awhile. I have a 10 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. I returned to work for a short while after my oldest turned a year old, and worked on and off for the last 9 years, but mostly stayed home. I am now trying to decide whether or not to return to work once again. My husband, who makes good money, but works all the time, doesnt want me returning to work. He likes me home with the kids. He really doenst want me going back to work. He just says that he will work more hours, which makes me feel even worse because I feel like now I am the cause for him becoming overworked. I just feel like I am becoming someone that is not me. I feel bad for wanting to go back to work. Does anyone have any advice or that is in the same boat as me?

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A.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi S.,

I agree, try MonaVie. It hasn't taken off in San Antonio yet. I learned about the oppportunity 3 years ago and I wish I had listened to my friend. I am a former pharmaceutical rep who is very skeptical of supplements, etc. I always believed it had to be a pill to work. 3 months ago this opportunity came back into my life from my friends at Pfizer. You should try the opportunity. It is great. I am at home and working on my time making money as if I were still in the corporate world. Look at my website at www.mymonavie.com/amberwhite

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L.L.

answers from New Orleans on

Just make sure you are honest about how you feel with your husband. You all still need quality family time, so him being away for more time won't help that and he will be overworked. Sit down and discuss the pros and cons and make a decision. I am presently a sahm in the same situation. My husband earns well but is overworked.

I am in the process of finding a night job so I can help him out. Sahm can be really great but is not for all. I have done it on and off for like 6-8 months at a time for the past 3 years, but It gets very boring, isolated and I guess whatever works for you personally and for your family.

As for me, It's time for me to get out and be around some other adults, build up my work ethic, socialization skills, sanity! Also we need that balance. I am ready. I know when my mind body soul and spirit are in sync and screaming its time to change and get our for me! Go with what you know!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I too have recently started staying at home while the hubby works. I enjoy being at home w the kids, but they are all in school and i am feeling like im not pulling my weight. He makes good money, but i have always been independent. Great that your man feels the need to pull more hours to make things easy for you, but dont feel guilty. Maybe u can work part time, and still enjoy the home time. You need to stay active in your line of work, and social life so that you dont feel "worthless" in the sense. As i do. I feel isolated, and just bored. I enjoy having my own money, and feel that it keeps me sane. I suggest that you follow your heart, keep yourself busy w fun things, and get bk out there if it means it makes things easier for you both. Good luck, and then go spend your money on you!!! Lol. Im going to go bk to school.. I am a nationally certified mssg therpst... And i still feel the need to do more... Radiology is my next step.. I just want to feel useful, and helpful. Working part time will allow me to be home and work. There is a happy medium... Go find yours..:)

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi, S.! I do know the struggle you're going through, I went through it this past fall. My husband didn't like the idea of me working, but we needed the money! He thought of taking on a second job, but I told him no because he'd never see the children, working 60+ hours a week. That was not the family life I wanted, and I didn't want to feel like a single mom, raising the kids on my own, when I had a husband there.

What we decided, instead, was that I would work from home teaching music lessons. I'm here, he watches the kids (and therefore gets great quality time with them every day). I make 30/hour, which is GREAT money for part-time. I also started a home-based business with Ignite, switching electric accounts to Stream energy. This is easy, and is bringing in the extra money to do the nice things, like build up a savings, put the kids in dance/martial arts, and pay to remodel our home. If you're interested, message me and I'll tell you more about the work I do.

As I tell others with this same problem, think outside the box! There is a need to be filled that only you can fill. With my teaching, I found there was a desperate need for private woodwind instructors in Fort Bend, so I have an overflow of students! Some still call me to set up lessons, even this late in the year. With Ignite, I managed to switch accounts that others couldn't because they weren't close to those people, therefore saving my dear friends money! It couldn't get better. Find your niche!

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

If working is what you want to do then try to go back part time or try working from home. I am a stay at home mom looking for a work at home job. I dont have the husband telling me to stay at home- its more like go back to work, but Im unable to right now do to medical problems. You may find it easier to work part time so you could get out of the house some and help your husband keep from working all the long hours. You might try wal-mart, they look for people that want to work part time it may not be great pay but it will allow you to be out of the house and around people for adult time.

good luck

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L.R.

answers from Sherman on

Once you have babies those CAREERS and COLLEGE mean nothing... I have six children and LOVE being at all there functions, ect... BUT I also want them to go to the College of there choice, be in cheerleading, and whatever they want to do without having to say NO because of MONEY. I also wanted to find MYSELF... I was NOT looking for an at home business and had taken up realestate because I thought I could choose my own hours... NOT.... I am now makeing about three times what i did in realestate... and get to choose WHAT six days out of my month that i work... LOVE IT... you can email me if you want and i will send you a packet... [email protected]____.com.... GOOD LUCK...

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J.F.

answers from Austin on

S.,

I don't exactly know what you're looking for in your life, but I just want to share something with you that made a difference for me. I'm a SAHM to a beautiful 14 mo old boy. I desperately wanted to stay home with him and not go back to work (I was a dental hygienist for 9 yrs). So I found something that helped me do just that.

I am a Representative for Silpada Designs Jewelry. I sell gorgeous sterling silver jewerly, which is just starting to become very popular, through home shows and parties. The average Silpada Rep earns $900 a month by doing just one show per week. You decide what days you want to work, so you can be home with your kids during the week. This opportunity could be the answer.

If you would like to learn more about what I do, please call me anytime! I love to talk about my job!

J. Furse
independent Silpada Rep.
###-###-####

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A.P.

answers from Austin on

S.. My hubby and I were in the EXACT same situation..
Then we decided to start a business as distributors of MonaVie.. it's an absolutely AMAZING antioxidant superfood drink that is selling like crazy. It's everywhere in California and Texas is starting to catch on, so we're busy carving out a piece of the market here for ourselves. Anyway, it really sells itself and there is a lot of money to be made in it if you put some effort into showing people. You do it from home and all you have to do is show a couple of people a day at the most. We started making pretty decent money after only 2 weeks. So if you are interested in anything like that, we would LOVE to get you in our group!!
Let me know if you're interested!

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A.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi S. I too was dealing with issues after decideing to stay at home with my kids. I started out loving it and then wanted to do more to support my seemingly stressed hausband because I made great money. I'm a lawyer by trade but found the most rewarding job was with my children. I try to provide the loving envionrment to my husband when he gets home no matter what and I let him know how much he's appreciated.

More recently over the last year I started working from home. I enjoy the business I'm in becuase there are so many moms like you that just want to help out with income and still be there for the kids. If you are serious about what you want and you know it. I would definately suggest considering a home based solid business. I put in a few hours a week. I am having my fifth child next month and I enjoy bringing home a check while being at home. Maybe that's all you need!

A. Bartholomew J.D.
http://www.healthy-us.com
http://healthyus.wordpress.com
Life is Meant to be GOOD, Live Well

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M.S.

answers from San Antonio on

There are many days I want to return to work...the SAHM thing is very hard and can be isolating. My DH also works long hours and I do feel a bit guilty at times. I have started putting together a small part time business at home (I am designing personalized stationary...I hope to eventually have some local gift shops carry my designs in their stores). I have two preschool children, so if I went back to work daycare would eat up a lot of my paycheck. I have even thought about working an evening shift somewhere just to get out of the house, like at a Barnes and Noble say 6pm to close. But my DH didn't like that idea at all. (I think because he would have to do dinner, bath and bedtime every night.) Just know that you are not alone, I would love to make some extra money and get out of the house a while myself. Sending you a great big hug {{{{{hug}}}}}...if you figure it out let me know.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

I think as a wife and mother, you have to decide what YOU want.
Also, what makes you feel most comfortable. If you feel you might be happier returning to work, which would allow you more social interaction and an additional income, than do it.
It is HARD not to be pressured from other sources, including your husband. But you would need to discuss your reasons with him, I thnk and be as honest as possible.
Also, you have to cinsider the fact that your husband is already gone alot and now you will be returning to work - the impact on the kids may be difficult at first.
Could you consider part time work?

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K.W.

answers from Corpus Christi on

To alot of us working moms, our careers are a big part of our identity. And alot of us truly enjoy what we do for a living, our coworkers, etc. I don't think that you should feel guilty for wanting that part of your life back. As long as you are there for your children and spend as much time as you can with them so that their needs are met as well you should not feel bad.

I'm in the same boat, I'll start my leave in August. My issue though is not wanting to return to work. I love my job, but I really want to stay home. I've promised my husband I will return to work though so I need to keep that promise to him. I think ultimately I will see that returning to work was the right decision for me because my job is such a big part of my life and identity. After all, I spent 7 years in college and grad school to get this job, and I want to set that example for my kids, show them that women can be strong and financially independent.

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D.R.

answers from Houston on

Did you ever find what you were looking for if not I would love help.

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M.F.

answers from Houston on

I share the sentiments of many of the other responders. I had a (what I thought) wonderful, high intensity career and also had a small direct sales business - it was more for my personal use and I would order items for friends and colleagues. I did not realize how much stress I was under with my career with deadlines, quotas and managing people and their clients.

Long story short, the industry I was in started to bottom out, I was the top salaried person in my company and was let go because they could no longer afford my salary. It was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. I now stay at home - my youngest is 17 - make my own schedule, have no stress - and that little business I did on the side - is now a career. Stress free and I love every minute of it. I agree - you need to research a home based business. My initial investment for the entire business cost less than my licensing requirements and what I would pay in one month for expenses in the other industry. I truly love what I do and it is a very empowering and uplifting company that focuses on women and stresses God and family before your career.

Feel free to contact me! Good luck to you - I have been where you are now and wish I had made a different choice at that time. I missed the interaction with other adults as you do now. Now I get to do what I want on my own terms - not someone dictating when to do something or what office I need to be at and what I have to do.

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C.R.

answers from Houston on

I hated feeling like I wasn't contributing to the family income. Check into the school districts close to you regarding substitute teaching. I have found it to be simple, and I can still schedule when and what times I want to accept work. It allows me to contribute financially and it gets me out of the house, but I can still be there for my kids.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I wouldn't go back to work full time. Listen to your husband. He foresees a problem and the last thing you need is marriage problems. Go back to work part-time, flex-time, or volunteer somewhere. But do not go back full time is my advice. I have done full-time, part-time, SAHM full-time, etc. As of now, I sell Mary Kay (which brought me out of a depression), I teach an on-line class, I substitute teach, and help out at a school district. All of which are flexible at my will. If my kids are sick, I stay home and don't feel guilty about missing work. I loved my full-time job (teacher) and would go back in a heart beat if I felt I could do both and not skimp on my home life at all. I have tried it and I personally can't. There will be time for that later. I do need to work though, even if it is just for myself and not for the money! I understand completely. But, listen to your husband and come up with a compromise that will ease both your minds. Hope that helps.

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L.L.

answers from Austin on

Hi S.,

I recently found the Perfect Home-Base Business for me,Perhaps it will work for you. L. :)

We are currently interviewing people TODAY to work at home.

We provide free training thru the internet or thru telephone conferences. We help you start making money at home immediately. We also have training centers all over the United States that you are welcome to attend. Our Training centers are available to you at no cost.

We invest time and money on you so please, only people that are willing to work 10 hours a week or more need to inquire.

About our Company::

60 minutes did a big special on our homebased company:
http://www.ameriplanusa.com/video/AMR300K.asx

WE OFFER:

* Daily Pay

* 401(k)

* FREE LIVE Support

* FREE Dental, Vision, Prescription and Chiropractic Plan (
for entire household)

WHAT WE DON'T DO:

* NO Selling

* No Cold Calling

HOW DO YOU GET PA1D?
1st Opportunity - We help other people work for AmeriPlan. There are
millions of people looking for legitimate opportunities to work from home
for various reasons and you can now help them!.
We will train you to do this online or offline. Our work is always paid on a daily basis.
whichever you prefer!

2nd Opportunity - We help save people money by enrolling them in our
benefits plan. We all know people that go to the dentist, wear contact
lenses, wear eyeglasses, take prescription drugs or go to a chiropractor,
and now you can help them save money and get
paid for your efforts. Our benefits package is very
affordable ($14.95 per month for an individual OR
$19.95 per month for an entire household) and most
people realize a significant savings from it.

Not only do you get paid for helping people SAVE
MONEY, the person or family that you enroll with
our benefits package is YOUR customer and you
will get paid month after month, year after year, as
long as they remain in our benefits program: www.mybenefitsplus.com/40551234

For an interview please Call L.
BEFORE you call or email us please read and study about our homebased company. Read and study about our company at http://www.freedomathometeam.com/40551234

Call ###-###-#### Monday thru Sunday 9 am - 9pm central time

Listen to your future team members at: www.theschoolbusdriver.com

L.
Ameriplan
Regional Sales Director

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M.D.

answers from Houston on

I totally know what you mean about missing the adult interaction. It gets very mind- numbing to be playing with a baby all day with no other outlets. I really don't think that going back to work is the only (or the best) solution to that though. It really depends on whether you are going back to a career that you love and that fulfills you...or are you just going back to work in an office or something?

Have you considered a home based business? I run a business from home and LOVE it. I get the adult interaction I need and the mental stimulation of working - but at the same time I get to be with my boys too. I feel like I've got the best of both worlds! I love what I do and at the end of the day that's what matters!

You can check out my website www.Freedom2WorkFromHome.com/M. to see what my business is all about. You may find that you are interested in helping people afford quality health and dental care too. If that is the case call or email me (sooner is better as we have an awesome promotion that is ending at 5pm CST today!!!) so we can discuss the opportunity.

I wish you happiness and fulfillment in whatever you choose!
M.

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C.J.

answers from Houston on

It's a hard decision that many face. Many look at direct sales as an alternative. However it's something that should not be jumped into on a whim.

I'm in Direct Sales with a wonderful company, but I did my research and found a company that matched my particular requirements and addressed what was important to me, that it was a product that I liked and would use, would customers reorder product, available support services and the like.

I wish you the best in your decision making process to work outside the home or in something like Direct Sales. But remember if you do choose the route of DS you still need to treat it like a business to succeed and build that income.

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T.B.

answers from Seattle on

Have you thought about staying at home and working from there? I am a sahm and I just started working from home with a wonderful company. It is legit. Here is my story below:
Hi
I have 3 small children and researched long and hard for a work at home job. I really wanted to contribute to my family and keep my kids with me during the day. So I did lots of research and I found a great career! I recently have come across a home-based business opportunity with no large investment, no inventory and no risk. It is an Inc. 500 manufacturing company. I work from home with a company that manufactures products that we're already buying elsewhere, but they are better, safer & healthier. We just help set up customer accounts and the company pays us to do so. It has benefited our family so much! I never have to leave my house to be successful! If you would like some more information, please feel free to ask me about how I made it happen for my family! I would love to share the information about our company! I think if you hear all the details about working for this company it will make so much sense to you.

If you would like some additional info. please go to my website at :

http://www.workathomeunited.com/tblake

You can view the link that says view more and then if you would like me to contact you, please click the link that says Get More Info. Now! and leave some basic information and I will get back to you!

HUGS
T.

www.workathomeunited.com/tblake
www.livetotalwellness.com/tblake

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T.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi S.. My name is T., a 26 yo, disabled work at home mom. I wasn't disabled until I had my beautiful daughter 8 months ago. The epidural severely injured my spine. I was a waitress at IHOP for 7 years. Most people don't love being a waitress, but I did. It hurt my pride that I couldn't work a regular full time job with a regular income, and leave all the financial burden on my husband. I had to do something. I started my own business and am loving it. I am looking for new people to join my team. It would only cost you $25.00 to start with no commitment. When you hand me the money I will hand you all the tools you need to start making easy money. If you are interested in hearing more about this awesome opportunity feel free to e-mail me... [email protected]____.com

Many Blessings,
T.

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