Stay at Home HELP!!

Updated on February 22, 2008
E.W. asks from McKinney, TX
6 answers

I am currently a working mom and I DESPERATELY want to find a way to stay home with my daughter. She is two and has already had to have tubes put in last year because of constant sinus infections. I just took her in for her two year and she has yet another sinus infection (they seem to always be here) and the doctor seems to think that a lot of has to do with her in daycare. I need to start staying home not only because of her health but to be a better wife to my husband and mother to my daughter. Problem is $$$ (of course). I have worked out our budget and we just cannot do it. I am coming up about $800 short a month, cutting everything in our budget including getting rid of my car and getting a MUCH cheaper one.

Do any of you mom's have any suggestions, something that I can do from home and still take care of my angel. I do not want to invest money into anything, I do not want to see Mary Kay, Arbonne, etc.. I want a real suggestion, please do not suggest any gimmicks. I am really upset and want what is best for my family.. Help!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you Mom's for all of your help and advice. My husband and I have decided to get rid of my car and this is going to significantly cut our expenses. It will be a huge sacrifice but well worth it to be able to stay home with my princess.

More Answers



answers from Dallas on

I think it's awesome that you're trying to figure out a way to stay home with your daughter!

My husband and I make it work on a VERY small salary by living in a modest home & driving only one car (paid off); we don't take expenive vacations or buy luxury items. Some people may be of the opinion that such sacrifices are hardly worth it, but I'd beg to differ. I am more than happy with the life we've made.

One thing I have done to drastically reduce our spending is becoming a member of There have been a few threads about it here on Mamasource. I've been able to cut our monthly grocery bill by half. My husband says couponing is my part-time job. :)

I do wish you the best of luck. Hopefully you & your husband will find some ways to cut down on the expenses so that you can do what's best for your family.

Oh! I did find these; I haven't read through the whole thing but there just may be something to lead you in a direction:

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answers from Dallas on

$800 short a month! That's a lot! You must have a lot of expenses. Are you living in a home that you pay a mortgage on? If you're serious about wanting to stay home... big sacrifices have to be made for that. Sometimes we put ourselves deeper into big expenses than what we should. Just because we can afford something or we have the money to buy a bigger house or car, doesn't mean we should ..... please, that's not to say that's what you're doing. This is a lesson I'VE learned in my finances. And the discipline hubby and I had to learn in order for me to stay home.
We've learned to live WAY below our means so we have extra money to save; pay cash for big emergencies or unexpected things that come up (no charging credit cards anymore!); paying cash for big things we want (a vacation). Because our expenses are below what we're bringing in -- there's much less stress at home.
We live in a smaller, older home ... drive moderately priced cars. My husband bought a no-frills (no bells and whistles added) to his car recently. We have the same old TV we've had for years. Have the basic package on satellite. Lowest priced plan on our cellphone. No cleaning lady. No dry cleaning bill - I iron everything. We eat out only once a week. I cook/prepare every meal - easier on the pocketbook. Even though we CAN buy all these extra things and we would like to ... we don't.

Ok.... so that's just my story. When we finally made the decision to go from 2 incomes to 1 - we were serious and we did drastic things. Lived in a one-bedroom apartment; no cellphones; drove old paid for cars. You said your car was cheap but what do you define "cheap". I define "cheap" as paid for in cash -- like that much cheap. Like NO car payment. What about hubby's car? His could be a paid-for older car, too.

Also... you might want to consider rearranging your home living expenses. If you live in a home, consider selling it to buy a smaller home with a smaller mortgage payment. That's where the majority of expenses go to - a big mortgage payment. But i don't know your situation - you might be renting already.

Just examine every expense ... and really consider - can we get a smaller one of these - or do w/o it. or get an older one of these? Or sell this to get cash for it to help pay down this.
But my guess is that if you are $800 in the red (when you live off hubby's income) then you might have a larger expense that can be trimmed down or traded in.
Again, like I said -- drastic things need to be done. We had to do this, too, and it was soooo worth it! I love staying home w/my son. These first years go by so fast and I don't want to blink to miss them. We had the rest of our lives to buy big stuff -- but only these first few short years to stay home w/our kiddos. And the kids don't care what cars we drive and how big the home is. If they have a voice, they'd say - I want Mommy here.

*I remember when i was a child, i had a friend whose family wasn't "well-off" financially, but her mom was a stay-at-home mom. I asked my Mom "why can't you be a SAHM like (friend's) mom?" and she would say "because we can't afford it." As a child, that didn't make sense to me. Why could they afford it, but we can't? But looking back on it, I can see now that my parents had placed themselves into deep debt and high expenses so the NEEDED my mom to work. My parents took lavish vacations and shopped a lot -- so the credit cards bills were high; they drove new cars all the time -- they never drove "paid-for" cars. They always had a car payment. They never kept a car long enough to pay it off. anyway... my friend's family -- I can see now -they didn't have those high expenses. They drove older, paid-off cars and bargain shopped. And ordering pizza on the weekend was a special thing for them. We ordered pizza 2-3 times a week and ate out a lot because my mom was tired after work and didn't have time to cook by the time she got home. anyway... I can see now that if someone who's living on a lower income than what my Dad was bringing home at the time...if they can do - so can I. I just need to live like they did.

I know many SAHMs and I've never really heard of a working at home job that wasn't already the home/family business; or selling products; or getting people to work under you (pyramid business). Other options like the other poster said: nanny or babysitting other kids. No easy, especially when you consider that the parents will bring their sick child into your home w/your kid there. And you can say that you don't want sick children there -- but they'll still try to mask the child's symptoms and bring that illness into your home. So essentially, the "daycare" is entering your home. Plus, you don't have freedom, when you watch someone else's child. You don't have the freedom to pick up and go to the playplaces or bounceplaces for playdates. Or the freedom to go have lunch w/Daddy on some days. Or the freedom to go to the gym to workout if you want. You become prisoner to that child's schedule and the other parent's demands/wants because they are paying you to watch their child. {just my experience and what i've heard from others doing this}.

Others I've know have worked part-time for gym childcare centers or for Mother's Day Out places. You can bring your child there - it's part-time so it's not ALL DAY, but it is every day usually. And you might run into the same problem here w/ germs/illness at these places.
Other options: you working on the weekend or nights when hubby is home to watch kiddo. Or hubby taking a 2nd job. Or if you're paycheck is higher than hubby's - he can stay home.
Good luck and you can do it!

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answers from Dallas on

I have a home daycare and have had two kids come here at 2 different times in my career that were not, repeat were not in daycare at all when they develped this problem, they were at home. I feel a person is prone or not prone to them weather they are in daycare or not. My suggestion is for you to start your own home daycare. Depending on where you live you can make about $150.00 per child and get to be home with your child. But first get registered.



answers from Dallas on

E., what about keeping another child in your home...maybe ask a mom you know from daycare whose child is the same age? That would give your daughter someone to play with and you some extra $.

One thing to keep in mind when considering working from home...Try and be realistic about what you can REALLY expect to get done with a two year-old under foot. If you have a deadline and your daughter wants your attention, you'll end up stressed and your daughter can't be expected to play independently at 2 years old. Finding something you could do on your own timeframe would be ideal, but then it might take time away from your husband if you're doing work after the baby goes down. Sorry...I'm not being overly helpful but I have tried working from home myself and until my kids were about 5 and could understand that at certain times they had to play independently, it wasn't worth the stress it caused my whole family.

Good luck to you and let us know how it turns out!



answers from Dallas on

I am in a similar situation. One thing that I was able to find was a job working from home with my church. Not sure if you attend one but sometimes you don't have to attend to work for the church. Good luck.


answers from Dallas on


I went through this when I had my first child and it was tough cutting I am home with all 4! I actually home school them all:)

I know that you said you don't want to sell anything...I really think you should look into all the direct selling companies and find one that fits your personality...They are so great for women STAYING HOME with their families. I meet with a group of women each month who do their own business and it's so wonderful to see them grow!


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