Starting Potty Training for 20 Month Old

Hi T.

I have recently started potty-training my 18 month old daughter.
I wanted her to have success, so we started in the mornings only. It isn't the easiest for me, because I have to drag myself out of bed as soon as she wakes up. But she always goes very quickly. No waiting, and success for her! She gets to say "Ta da", wipe and flush. But only if she pees. And I don't leave her on there for very long.
I think it is working for both of us because we started successfully - she has to go first thing in the morning anyway!
I am not using rewards - just the feeling of success and accomplishment and happiness!
Good luck!
K.

While every child is different,and every parent's motivations and abilities to consistently train are different, there is no 20month old boy of whom I am aware who was easily or completely potty-trained at that age. The parent might be trained...but the inner volition and approach are those of the parent and not the child...who may indeed "work" for a reward. Your son is simply too young. You can begin to train vocabulary, interest and recognition of a potty chair, etc. But he needs full language and motor control in order to state his need, arrive promptly at his destination, withhold the urge long enough to skillfully remove his clothing in time. A near impossibility on all fronts for a 20 month old! If you wait until he is 2.5 -3 years old, this will be accomplished in about a day and without more reward than your praise and obvious delight.

hi T.,
good for you for following his cues! he is considerably on the young side so don't be discouraged if he loses interest, and don't push him.
i'd be cautious with pull-ups (they seem to encourage kids to stay in diapers longer) and go easy on rewards. praise should really be enough, with maybe a treat for big milestones like the first bowel movement in the potty. i tend to avoid food treats, i don't think that sets up a good pattern.
also, please don't use 'tough love' on a 20 month old learning to potty train. tough love is for breaking drug addictions or destructive behavior, not for teaching little guys about the potty.
good luck!
khairete
S.

T.,
I'm going to tell you this not that I am following my own adivce.....pull-ups are just leaky diapers. Most kids don't view them as underwear. If you have the time to just stay home and do nothing but potty train then I would follow the advice of bare bottom and nearby potty. Good luck. I'm waiting for summer break when I am off and I can get my 2 1/2 year old out of pull-ups!

Hi. With our first son, we did a sticker chart type thing. He got one sticker for pee and two for poop. After so many we went to dollar tree and he got to pick out an age appropriate toy. (which was usually a car, he loves them). We went straight to big boy pants, only pull-ups for naps and bed time. He was 2.5 when we did him. We did the three day potty training and he was done in 2 days, 4 days he was done with pull-ups at night. He caught on quick.
However our second son, is the complete opposite. We thought he was ready, he decided otherwise. He is 27mo. and we are just now getting to a good point. We used pull-ups for him and we use candy for a reward system (he didn't care for the sticker chart). I read the other response about using candy. We do not have that problem. He goes when he has to and thats it. All children are different. You'll just need to find out what works for you and your lil one. Best of luck with the potty training.

Hi T.,
Firstly, don't wait till your all out of diapers to start potty training, you may need them, especially at night. I have 5 kids, I know alittle bit about this. Go get the potty seat now, get two, one on each floor of the house, you may also want to carry one in the car and be prepared to have to use it instead of a public rest room. Some times young kids are frightened of a potty that isn't their own. Bottom line, be prepared for anything. Carry a bag or leave a bag in the car or nearby w/ extra change of clothes, wipes, a water bottle,(you may need it to rinse out the potty seat), couple of plastic grocery bags for disposing(if no big potty is nearby), hand sanitizer, and
a small treat for using the potty.
We found a small treat of two M&Ms for going peepee, and 4or5 when their was something solid in the potty. Yes, they will try to sit their and con you into candy for just trying sometimes, but be tough--You know, show me the goods, and you get a prize-no goods, no prize. Keep trying!
It's called tough Love, and you better learn how to use it now, otherwise you will get walked all over by you child.
Also, make sure your child care provider is using the same technique as you and you are both consistant. It's easy to confuse a 2 yr old, so talke to who ever is carring for your child and work out a plan first.
Even before that, go get a couple of cheep little potties, don't use up the diapers, (just put them out of sight for now and have them available for bed time and naps, that will or may stop later), and dedicate two or three solid weeks to focusing on the potty. Really one solid week at home worked for us, play time was at our house, we didn't go on trips or over to other peoples houses. Going to bed by 7-7:30 is the normal bedtime for a 2yr old and naps or rest time is crucial. So don't keep them up late or not give him a nap, this causes bad behavior, then they forget about the potty, and you have lost an entire day, because you wanted to be out late or wanted to go someplace and had to bring the child. This process can go quickly, but you need to be dedicated to being a good parent first.
Good Luck!

Hi. My son showed signs at 18 months and so we tried potty training. He picked up on it (I gave one chochlate chip as a reward - stickers etc mean nothing to him). He was 75% there and I decided it was too early for a couple of reasons. He could not get his pants down by himself. He would run into the bathroom and sit on the little potty and pee thru his pants and underwear. Also, he does not talk well enough to really tell me he had to go. He either ran to the bathroom himself, or he pulled at his croth. I realized that it was not going to work for us because we go to the gym several days a week and he would not have been able to tell the gals at the nursry at the gym that he had to go. He is back in diapers, but at home he still goes in the potty occasionally if he runs in there. I have a friend who trained her 22 mo. old girl, but she has to take her every time and going out is a nighrmare because she cannot hold it for long at this age. At this age it may be more trouble than it is worth unless he can get the pants down on his own easily and unless he speaks well. Whatever you decide, good luck.

I'd pick up a copy of the book "Diaper Free Before Three" and check out www.diaperfreebaby.org for information on Elimination Communication and Early Potty Training. Information from companies like Huggies is unlikely to help you at all since their ultimate goal is to keep your child in "Pull-Ups" for as long as they can sell them to you. Get your child out of diapers and on to a potty.

Both of my children were successful on the potty and done with diapers before they were 18 months old. Some children never wear diapers, and parents EC from birth. This may all sound strange at first, and not the "norm", but once you learn about EC and EPT, you will be hooked (and think of the money you'll save) !!

M.

PS--I want to follow up and respond to another response I just read to your post. YES--toilet learning at this "early" age will be effort for you, but consider this: You are the parent and your job is to take care of your child, to be aware of their needs and to respond! If this means carrying your 20 month old to the toilet every 20 minutes, then that's what it means. You are teaching them to respond to their body's cues and teaching yourself to be aware of their body's cues as well. You can choose... focus on getting your child to the potty for comfortable release, or continuing to let them soil themselves, ignore their body's cues, then wait for you to clean up the mess (change the diaper). The "reward" should be that they feel dry, clean and proud of themselves!

One way to get around the not being able to pull down his own pants is to teach him a sign for potty. You could look it up on-line or just make one up, like tapping his shoulder with his hand, something that will work for you and you won't be embarrassed when he signs it in public. You can train him to run to you, sign potty, then both go to the bathroom and you help him with whatever he needs. Just because he isn't able to do all of it doesn't mean he can't use the potty. My son trained completely at 26 months. After 5 days he was pretty trained on peeing (an accident every day or two, but really got it). Then dry at night (I think this can vary by child and if I got his fluids in him early in the day, but he did it all on his own, so I stopped with diapers and went to underpants at night, it meant wet sheets a few times a month, but I would rather that than not following his cues and letting him grow up.) Then 5 days later I let him pick out a truck at the toy store for a poopy prize. He sat down the next morning every 5 minutes for 2 hours until he pooped on the potty. Then we worked on pooping at friends houses, airports, etc. Before we started training I took him to about 4 places we go a lot (library, grocery store, Target) and had him sit on the seat and feel that it was a little cool but would warm up. This way when he was trained he was comfortable hopping up there and going. Get TONS of books for him about potty training at the library and talk about how grown up he is. It was hard, but I kept everything positive and he really felt like he accomplished something. My son had a UTI 6 months after he potty trained and I was so pleased to spare him a catheter to test his urine!! He just went into the bathroom and peed in a cup. And I don't miss paying for diapers either! I agree that pull ups are diapers to them...get Thomas underwear or whatever your son is interested in. I wrapped them and had my husband give them to my son the day we started. Good luck. It will take patience, but there is no reason not to start.

My son has never recieved any rewards for potty success, other than lots of happy applause and praise. We were very lucky and that was enough. We have a friend who uses M&Ms and the kid goes potty very two minutes just to get candy. It is totally out of control.

Every kid is different of course, but what worked for us was just really deciding we were going to potty train. First we had the potty chair in front of the TV and let him go bare bottomed for a couple of weeks. Then we took away diapers and pull-ups completely and just sat him on the potty every 45 minutes. I learned where all the bathrooms in the state are located I think.

Good luck!

We have seen success with using stickers as a reward. My son gets to pick out the sticker and place it on the sticker chart. However, he is older and I am not sure if 20 month olds like stickers yet?