Starting Daycare and Freaking Out.....

Hi Rachel
A couple suggestions...First, you can't cry in front of her b/c she'll think daycare is a punishment and there is something wrong. You can cry in the car AFTER you've dropped her off but not before then. Second, it will take time for her to adjust but it will probably take a week or so. What I did with my son was stay with him for a while in the morning the first day, less the second, etc. I don't think you need half a day but the first day might be rough. Also, this weekend, talk up the daycare. Tell her what to expect (on Monday, M. is going to drop you off at daycare...you will have a great time and meet some new friends! There will be lots of art projects and fun activities) etc. If she wants to bring a favorite stuffed animal, let her for security purposes. And when you drop her off, tell her you'll see her very soon and that she'll have a lot of fun! Kids feed off our reactions...So if she see's you crying and being upset over this, she will be the same way.

My son started daycare about the age of your daughter. It took awhile for the adjustment to work out. Just be patient and know that you made a good choice in the daycare so she is fine. Crying at the beginning is very normal. LIke the other poster said, it wasn't typical and routine when you dropped things off. Once she gets used to the routine I am sure she will be just fine. For the first few days just bear with the tears. It will help you to call a few times the first few days. YOu will quickly see she doesn't cry for long after you leave and it will put your mind at ease. Good luck

I don't know if I can really offer much advice on the subject as I have been lucky enough to be a SAHM for the last two kiddos, HOWEVER this gorgeous new 3 month old may lose her mommy for to a part-time job I was recently offered.

What I want to offer is some support. These are trying times we are living in though the media is screaming that the recession is over, the people on the street beg to differ. Seems like prices are going up while many still don't have jobs and the ones that do still make wages that don't adequately pay. Your decision to go back to work was likely a necessity, of course I don't know that, but for me it is!LOL I wonder if you can afford to cut you hours or rearrange them to ease the suddenness of this transition? Overstimulated babies are so unhappy and all this shock can blow up in your face as it translates to sleeping issues and separation anxiety (I don't really remember if she's too young for that) but that can cause you to get in a wreck trying to get her and you up and ready for the day when niether of you has had any real rest. It *is* true thaough kids are amazingly resilient, but maybe, judging by what you have written to us, you would benefit from slowing the process down a notch or two. Go in late so morning are not quite so hectic, or come home early...wherever it fits best, remove that stressor and implement the schedule again when both of you have adjusted.

Also, it seems to me that even of you lke the daycare, if the other children won't give your little honey any rest...well I have already said it.

You're a caring and sweet mom and I can tell that you truly want the best for her, so best of luck to you , sister!

Let us know, please, what you decide to do? I am terribly interested because I will be in your shoes very soon.

T.

Just remember that the visit was not typical, it was more like Christmas morning--brief mayhem, and then things settle down. Good daycares have a schedule of play time and quiet time, and a good child-adult ratio, and the adults will keep the other kids in check. Once the initial novelty is over, the kids will very soon be acting like normal and your daughter will blend right into the routine. Yes, kids adjust right away. You will take longer to adjust than she will because you will miss her...so be strong and don't let your anxieties worry the baby. Wallow in her joy when you come to pick her up again, instead.

That's the age my first daughter started going to daycare. For the first day, I sat there with her when we got there in the rocking chair and read a couple of stories. She got to look around, the kids got to look at her, and she kinda relaxed---until I went to leave. She clung, she grabbed, she wailed...I kissed her told her I loved her very much and would see her soon. I called to check on her a few hours later---and she was having a great time. The daycare worker told me that is how it is...they cry, they cling and then they will be fine. When I talked about staying to read everyday, the daycare person said it actually can make it harder for the child--the first day or so is fine, but as a daily plan it makes the kids more anxious. It kills Mommy to say bye bye--but your daughter will be ok. She takes her cues from you--be happy, cheerful and excited about all the fun she will have---then lose it in the car by yourself....good luck!