Start Talking?

I don't know if there's any way to know right now if he's just lazy (some boys are) or he is not able to speak. Instead of giving him something when he points, make him try to say it. Maybe this way you can determine if he's not talking because he doesn't want to/doesn't need to or if he's not talking because he's having some sort of problem with it.

Don't worry! My husband and son both were late talkers, my son at 3 and my husband at 4. They are both evry inteligent individuals, even above average. Many kids don't find a need to speak yet if they can convey thier needs well enough for them to get what they need. You might have a very smart child who will talk in full sentences when he is ready to talk and just skip the baby talk. Like I said, don't worry!

Be aware of how you are responding to him. Are you anticipatiing his needs and meeting them so quickly that he has no need to talk? Read books to him, but stop on each page and ask him questions about what he's seeing on the page to try to get him to say words. Talk to him when you are going somewhere, either walking or in the car. Point out objects and give him the words for them. Avoid any temtation to use 'baby talk'. When you are doing tasks around the house and he is with yoiu, talk to him about what you are doing. Ask him appropriate questions about what you are doing, to give him the idea that you are expecting him to talk. Do ask his pediatrician about the possibility of there being a problem that needs to be addresssed medically too, but even if there is, using language with him in some of the ways I've suggested is going to be helpful. You may be doing all this already.

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I don't have any advice because I am in the same boat as you. My son is 29 months and is only saying maybe 15 words and no more then one at a time. I know he understands everything we say but like yours just points and makes noises. It is very frustrating at times and I almost feel like I don't want to take him around other kids in fear of them saying something. I didn't know where to start so I have finally made an appointment tomorrow with a pediatrician to discuss what to do. That's what I would suggest is to express your concern to your pediatrician and go from there. Good luck!

L.,
Each kid is different, three of my four kids spoke short phrases by the time they were a year old, but my oldest took longer to speak. He was about two years old when he finally spoke anything we could really understand. He now has a daughter that is two years old and is having a tough time speaking, but she understand everything. We have been told by her Pediatrian that it is normal for some kids to take a little longer to speak. I found that what has helped with my grand daughter is to not "speak for her" ask what they want and do not suggest what you think they want. That will help them use their words. If they do not tell you what they want, say you do not understand. Eventually, they will use their words. Sometimes we do not realize how much talking we do for them and all they have to do is reply with a yes/no or an expression.

Good luck.

Dear L.,
It certainly woudn't hurt to run it by the pediatrician just to be sure, but it's my guess he doesn't talk much because he doesn't really need to.
My sister didn't talk for a long time. She pointed and had different noises that meant things. She had a weird little gargle sound she made when she was thirsty, she had a growl for when she was hungry.
A little boy I did daycare for didn't talk. He would just point at the refrigerator if he wanted something. His parents would take every single thing out of the refrigerator until he pointed at what he wanted. I didn't have all day for that. The other kids were quite verbal and I just worked on getting him to use his words. For instance, I would ask him if he wanted water or juice, but I didn't show him the water or juice so he could just point at it. I wanted him to say which he wanted like the other kids. If he didn't want to say, I gave him water. It was the same with snacks... grapes or watermelon? If he wouldn't say, I chose for him. It was obvious if he got the one he didn't want. I didn't deny him grapes if he wouldn't use the word, but I told him that if he didn't use the word, I didn't know what he wanted. I also would pretend like I forgot the word for something. "Silly me...I forgot what this thing is called. Can anybody help me?" The verbal kids would yell out "It's a spoon!" They would laugh and giggle. One day my daughter who was quite vocal said, "Mommy, you forget a lot of words." She probably thought I was going senile, but that little boy being around other kids and getting him to use his words was all it took.
And let me tell you about kids who are late talkers....
They make up for lost time because once they start talking, they don't shut up.
My sister and the little boy I spoke of are extremely intelligent adults with no speech or hearing difficulties.
It's my guess that your son is absorbing absolutely everything and his own style of communicating has worked for him so far.
I do know a little girl that is deaf and we sign with her. But she still uses words and out of necessity also knows how to spell them.
Again, run it by your pediatrician, but also work with getting him to say his words.
Then have plenty of Excedrin around because one of these days, he'll probably talk your leg off.

Best wishes!

He may have a language delay. I would bring this matter up with your pediatrician and ask him how you can make a referral to get your son checked out by your State's early intervention services. They will test your son to see what, if any, delays he may have and provide you with in-home services including speech therapy. From my experience, when there is a lanuage delay at issue, the sooner the child receives early intervention, the greater their chance for recovery.

Wishing the best for you and your son.

early intervention is really important. I'd have him evaluated ASAP. Ask your doctor who your local "regional cener" is or how to get an in-take with an early start program. I don't know about resources up in Redding, but in San Jose, Parents Helping Parents is a great resource. www.php.com You also might try FEAT (families for early autism treatment) in the Sacramento area.

How does he communicate to you? Does he point to things? If you point to something does he look at what you are pointing at? Does he imitate things you do? (Arms up, wave, clap) Those would all be good signs. Does he take your hand and walk you to the cookie jar (or whatever). That's what my son did and he's autistic.

Good luck

My peditrician always said that as long as he acts like he understands what you're saying and can respond to commands, you shouldn't be worried. My son turned 2 at the end of October and it wasn't until over Christmas that his vocabulary just exploded. He's finally using 2 and 3 word sentances. It just takes some longer than others (especially boys). We may still consider taking advantage of the speech program that our school district offers because it's free and really great from what I hear, but our pediatrician said that it isn't necessary. It's really hard not to compare to other kids, but at this age you really can't.
One thing we do to encourage talking is called stretch talking, where if he says something that you think is about the dog, expand on that like "do you want to give the dog a treat" or something. Also, when you think he said something, repeat it and pretend like he said it perfectly even if you barely understand it.

I would not worry at all! My brother didn't speak a word until he was 3, and in grade school, he tested at the genius IQ level. My cousin didn't speak until she was three, and then she busted out with complete sentences out of the blue. When my daughter was 18 months, she had only a few words and my ped wanted to get her hearing tested. It was fine. At 21 months, my DD still only had a handful of "words," just like your son. She pointed to things she wanted, she made happy or not-happy sounds, she used some sign words I had taught her, but she still wasn't even saying mama or dada. I knew she was fine. She didn't show any other signs of autism or any other developmental delay. In fact, she was off the charts as far as motor skills went. Our ped told us she was very concerned and we should have my DD evaluated for a learning disability right away. I said no. I wanted to wait a little longer because in my gut I just knew she was fine. My ped referred my DD to the Early Start program, who called the house and insisted that I was doing my child a disservice by not having them come to the house to "evaluate her learning environment" and getting her in therapy. Therapy? Just because she isn't speaking the "required" number of words yet? We still refused, but were now scared by this time. A good family friend, who has a masters in childhood development and works with special-needs kids all the time, came to the house and did her own evaluation. She said that kids who are progressing with or ahead of the curve on motor skills often don't feel the need to speak because they can communicate their needs and entertain themselves by using their body. She said DD was just fine and told us to just talk as much as we can to her, try to engage her in conversation by using lots of eye contact and questions, and acknowledge and reward any attempts to talk, even if it's "gibberish." For example, I started requiring DD to say thank you every time she got something she wanted. Of course, it came out "DA!" but as long as she said SOMETHING, I accepted it. I didn't make her say it over and over and over again until it sounded like thank you. Sure enough, shortly after her second birthday, DD said dada, then mama. Each day brought a stream of new words, and about a month after her second birthday, she was speaking in two- and three-word sentences. By 2 and a half, she was using more complex sentences, and by three she was caught up to her peers. AND, she talks nonstop!
Do not worry too much, and stop and really, really ask yourself, honestly, if you think something is wrong. Does he communicate his needs? Is he affectionate? Does he make eye contact? Does he engage you and other loved ones? Is he a happy kid? If yes to these, then just let him be. Have his hearing tested to give you some reassurance ( I did because my brother did have some hearing problems and I was worried it might be genetic), but if that's fine, just read to him, talk to him and give him time.

Hi L.,

It sounds like you've received a ton of advice already but I thought I would quickly chime in too. I would really recommend that you get in to see your Dr. asap to get started on being evaluated. He may be just fine and he's just choosing not to speak just yet. On the other hand, if he is slightly delayed and needs a bit of help, now is the time to get going on it. I had a good friend who had what sounds like a similar experience and the only reason she is getting any help through her insurance now is because she began the evaluation process before he turned 2. The benchmarks can change dramatically at age 2 when it comes to what your insurance company will help out with. If you start now you can sneak in before those kick in and if your little guy just needs some help with his speech then you may still qualify. If you have any doubt, I would get in and at least begin the evaluation process before age 2 so that you are in the system before his birthday. Good luck to you!

I believe he's likely on track with normal development, but I wanted to ask if you've spoken with the pediatrician to get their opinion?

Our son was past 2 before his vocabulary and verbal skills really flourished. Our daughter is 22 months, she's ahead of where our son was at the same time, but she's still only putting a few syllables together here and there.

Because he's showing you, I think that's a great sign that he's understanding and being able to communicate.

If it is a real concern, though, I'd always suggest speaking with his pediatrician to make sure all is well.

HELLO. I READ YOUR QUESTION & IT BROUGHT ME BACK TO WHEN MY SON WAS THAT AGE. THE FIRST THING I WOULD SAY TO YOU IS TAKE HIM TO HIS PED DOCTOR & HAVE HIM/HER REFER YOUR TO A ENT DOCTOR. POSSIBILITY, HE MIGHT HAVE FLUID BEHIND THE EAR DRUM. UNFORTUNATELY, WE MADE THE MISTAKE JUST LETTING HIM POINT & NOT TEACHING & MAKING HIM SAY THE WORD. BY THE TIME HE WAS ALMOST 2 1/2, WE TOOK HIM TO MY AUDIOLOGIST & HAD HIM TESTED. THE SAD PART, THE TEST SHOWED HE HAD FLUID BEHIND THE EAR DRUM. WE AGREED TO HAVE SURGERY TO PUT TUBES IN HIS EARS (BOTH) & AT THE SAME TIME, THEY REMOVED HIS TONSLES & ADNOIDS. UNFORTUNATELY, MY SON INHERITED MY ALLERGIES. WHAT THEY EXPLAINED TO ME IS THAT SOMETIMES, THE EUSTACIAN (?) TUBE DOES NOT DEVELOP & KEEPS FLUID BEHIND THE EAR DRUM. SHORTLY AFTER SURGERY, SLOWLY, HE BAGAN TO SAY WORDS. BUT IT TOOK ALOT OF DICIPLINE ON OUR PART TO SAY THE WORD & TEACH HIM TO SAY THE WORD. HE IS NOW 27 YEARS OLD & HAS NO PROBLEM SPEAKING. PLEASE DON'T WAIT TO GET HIM CHECKED OUT. ON THE FLIP SIDE, MY FRIEND HAS A DAUGHTER & SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH THE EARS & SHE DIDN'T SPEAK UNTIL 3 OR 4 & NOW, HER VOCABULARY IS LARGE. SHE IS READING & NOW DOING MATH AT A FIRST GRADE LEVEL. MY FRIEND IS A STAY AT HOME MOM. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. MY HEART IS COMPASSION TO THOSE WHO HAVE CHILDREN LIKE YOURS. PLEASE LOVE THEM & BE PATIENT. THEY DO GROW FAST. :<)

BLESSINGS,
A. MYERS
____@____.com

We were concerned with our sons vocabulary at around 18 months. Our ped told us to write a list of the words he is saying. As long as it is at/above 50 words then he is doing fine and that putting the words together will come in time. We started tracking the words and were very surprised that it was over 80 words. Once he was about 2 his vocabulary increased and he started using 2 word sentences. Fast forward to 3 1/2 and he talks well and knows more than you could possibly imagine. I must agree with some of the other moms that it is a good idea to get his ears checked out to make sure that's not a problem. If thats fine then I would encourage you to have him start saying the words instead of just seeing what he wants. You can start by saying what it is he wants and try to get him to repeat. Our son seemed slow getting the words out at first but is totally fine. Our daughter at 16 mo has a HUGE vocabulary already, it's like night and day. Then again, she has a little role model and likes to thing she's 3 too. =)

some kids are naturally just quiet and won't talk unless they absolutely have to. I would however, just to be on the safe side have his hearing tested. It was at about your son's age that we found my brother had pretty significant hearing loss. He wasn't speaking much, because he wasn't hearing the sounds to parrot. If it is a hearing loss, the sooner you get intervention the better off he will be.

Hi L.- my first questions are these: is there a 2nd language in the house, or a 2nd accent besides yours? If so, usually children who are raised with those speak a little later, digesting both languages or accents until they understand how to completely speak their words. another thought on this may be an insecurity. He may be unsure of his words and therefore afraid to speak in case he gets it wrong, a fear of correction and failure. I would start small, telling him that if he wants something, he is going to have to start audibly asking for it. For example, this week if he wants a treat (like a cracker), he needs to at least attempt the word cracker. My 16 month old nephew says a word that sounds closer to caca, but it is for cracker. He has a very small vocabulary, but we can see him learning. He gets frustrated when he can't get the word out and then sort of screams and points at it. If you can see your son learning, then that is reassurance #1. If he absolutely refuses, and would instead starve before asking for food with his voice, you may need to seek out a speech therapist. They may have games and things that will help him overcome whatever is causing his silence. You never know, one of these days he is going to start talking and you won't be able to get him to stop. =)
I hope this helps. Hold on to hope and seek out professional help if needs be. It'll all work out.
-E. M

Hi there,

It wouldn't hurt to have his ears checked? Our little one had fluid in her ears, but not infections, and the pediatrician was very concerned about her hearing. Turns out she is talking very well, so there was nothing to worry about in our case. But might be something for you to discuss with your pediatrician.

H.

Hi L.,

I had posted exactly the same question one year ago.
At 25 months, my son had 6 words (papa, mama, tata for binky, vruuum for car, no and woaf for dog)
After reading all the answers (basically similar to the ones below), I contacted our pediatrician.

She first checked his hearing and said not to worry and he was fine. I insisted on a referral to Early Intervention. They came home and made a complete evaluation (speech, gross and fine motor development, social and emotional development...) He was OK with everything except for the speech (evaluated at 14 months). So he could get the free service from them. They came once a week to play with him and he went once a week to a playgroup.
Today he is 32 months old and has about 500 words in French, 400 in English and over 50 in Spanish.

So, I would recommend to see you ped, rule out any underlying problem (hearing...) and ask a referral for early intervention. It cost nothing to try. If he is eligible, he will get free help. If he is not, you are reassured that he's fine.

We were concerned about our daughter (now age 5) because she didn't speak any words until age 2.5. Our son (now age 8) spoke full sentences at age 2. Both kids are doing great now -- they just develop differently. If your child still doesn't speak by age 2.5 - 3, then definitely have his pediatrician test him but it sounds like he is already making some progress with sounds, which is more than our daughter did at 20 months - now we can't stop her from talking!

I wouldn't worry too much yet :o) Kids learn to vocalize at all different young ages. Perhaps he hasn't been expected to speak.

When my oldest was that age, all he ever had to do was "grunt" a certain way and i knew what he wanted and got it for him :O) That delayed his speech until I realized what i was doing :o) Then I began saying "ok you want a drink?" ok say "drink".... he would say it as best as he could, then i would get it. I began to do this all day long. after about a week, words starting "coming through".

After I made him say what he wanted by asking him to "use his words", his language developed pretty easy.......he just didn't have to say things before....only "grunt" LOL!

If your son doesn't start talking around 2 1/12-3yrs old, then I would have his ears checked for fluid or something preventing him from hearing things correctly.

But for now, if he hears you and tries to speak, then just continue to ask him to say things when he wants something. I'm sure that's all it is :O)

~N. :o)

Talk to your pediatrician and see when s/he would be concerned enough to get a speech evaluation and hearing evaluation.

I wouldn't worry about this. He can make sounds about daddy, so he seems to be hearing okay. My son was the same way. Right before he turned three he starting talking. The first thing he said was "I want some juice." No baby talk really ever, no "no" or "mommy". He started with complete sentences and always spoke in complete sentences after that. Boys are usually slower than girls with speech anyway.

We were having the same issues with our son when he was around 18 months. Our ped recommended that we start reading nursery rhymes to him everyday. There is something about the way that they are written and the way that we move our mouths when we read that that kids pick up on. We also started him in a preschool so that he could be around other kids his age who were already talking. We read to him every night and by the time he was 21 months old he was speaking in 4-5 word sentences.