Splitting Household Chores

Wow, that would not go over well for me:) However, I like the idea of 50/50 and maybe you both getting a list? Maybe on Sunday nights you can sit down together and make a list of who does what. Like there are some things he may not like to do, but that you don't really mind doing..ya know? For example, I hate unloading the dishwasher so my husband will pick that chore. It's such a hard balance, I hope someone has the right answer for you!

Good luck!
A.

It is ridiculous. Perhaps he and you could each make a list of what chores need to be done each week. Then divide them up 50:50. Taking care of your son of course counts (you may want to list the specifics that this entails). DH and I share about 50:50 and we both work outside the home. But we don't split each task 50:50. We split the cooking, I do the laundry, he does ~70% of the dishes, etc.

We don't make a list of who does what - whoever sees a task that needs doing and has the time to do it, does it. Sometimes that means that one of us does more than the other, depending on what our schedules are. If I'm doing a show, he does more; during exam crunch time, I do more. It all gets done, and that's what matters.

Assuming you work 40 hours a week and he works 20-25 He should be doing more than 50% of the chores. Write down everything that needs doing around the house take your time and make it a long comprehensive list of daily, weekly and a few times a year. Write down caring for your son, taking him for vaccinations, check ups calling for appointments, dentist visits. taking him to preschool, confering with his teacher, anything. Then the two of you discuss who will be responsible for what. It sounds like his "your job is easier than my job" is a great excuse for having to do less. Dont buy into it

Absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe an adult would act like this.

It's time for 2 lists. His chores and your chores.

In our house, hubby has certain things that he's mosting responsible for - I have things I'm responsible for - and the kids have their chores. Just because I'm responsible for the laundry doesn't mean he won't help fold or hang up a load. Or just because he's responsible for taking out the garbage, I won't do it if he's working. Were a team, we do what needs to be done, we respect each other and help each other.

If you can't handle the task of doing simple household chores together, how are you going to raise a child together?

I agree with Dana. When my hubby and I were first married we had this issue as well. We looked at the chored and decided togeather what chores were equal. So like whashing dishes and doing laundry we decided we equaly not as fun and as had. So I hate washing cloths and he hates doing dishes so we split that up that way. And we just kept going and got all the fighting out until we thought it was about fair. good luck!

Hi, L.;

All this is a symbol of an underlying issue of self esteem and co-dependency issues. Co-dependency issues revolve around control.

Sit down together and make a list of what each is expected to do.
Do you have an issue with setting boundaries on your partner?
Just want to know.
Good luck.
D.

How can I get him to share chores and respect that I need freetime to do things I enjoy on my days off as much as he does? Buy fabulous bottle of champagne-take the lists and build a romantic fire in the fireplace!

If you get a list, he gets a list. It is being fair and everyone pitches in on keeping the household running. My hubby works full time (40-50 hrs a week) and I usually work part time (8-15 hrs a week) sometimes I take on another job that is 2-3 months long so then working about 30 hours a week plus taking care of our daughter.

When I am working less I pick up the majority of the chores because I am around the house more (cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping) while hubby usually does the garbage,shoveling, homerepair and sometimes the laundry. When I am busier outside of the home my hubby, even though he works full time, does what needs to be done to have clean clothes and a somewhat clean house. I never leave him a list (unless it is the grocery list which he asks for) and he never leaves me a list. If anything he will ask if I am going to the store and if so I could I pick up something for him which I reply write it down please otherwise I will forget to pick it up.

You will need to talk with him about this, and the two of you figure it out. This is part of living together and there will be much harder things to work out in the future. It may be uncomfortable, he or you may not want to sit down and figure out a fair game plan about the chores but hopefully it helps you both stop disagreeing on this point.

Maybe just ask him to shorten the list and be practical. As far as washing the clothes...Come on he could certainly do better than that but he might be afraid that he will ruin some of your things. A lot of our clothes need to be hang dry or something.

I know I make a list for my husband once in a while. Sometimes a list on paper doesn't sound as bad when you are in a rush and you ask/tell someone to make sure something is done.