Spitting 20 Mos Old Boy

Updated on October 17, 2006
R.G. asks from Akron, OH
4 answers

MY SON IS 20 MOS AND HE SPITS AT YOU WHEN HE GETS UPSET OR CAN'T HAVE HIS WAY - I HAVE TRIED JUST TELLING HIM THAT SPITTING IS NOT NICE - BUT THAT DOESN'T PHASE HIM. PLEASE HELP.

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So What Happened?

Well, here's an update - I tried the time outs - that did not sit with him too well - he would not stay in the time out spot. I tried telling him that it was not nice and walking away - he would then just knock things over or hit his brother to get my attention other ways. A plus in this whole situation is that he is no longer spitting at me - but the down side is that he does it to his big brother (who's only 3 years old). I tried having him spit in the sink or toilet, he did not go with that idea too well. I do have a problem with not being consistent, only because he will stop the spitting and do something else - he will follow me around the house and knock things over and if I ignore that he then picks fights with his brother - he is a little aggressive to be so little. Thanks for all the advice - I am still working on it.

More Answers

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E.J.

answers from Cincinnati on

Spitting is just part of the growing temper tantums that they have at this age. Although mine did the biting phase. But sometimes it takes for you to do the samething to the child as they do to others for them to understand that this is wrong and people don't like it. When my son was biting I actually bit him so he could see how it felt. It took no time at all to break this just because he knew that he was going to be bit back. I had to learn that it wasn't being mean but sometimes thats the only way that it sinks in that they know what you are talking about. So you can either try that or you could just try walking away and leaving him for a minute right where he is having this fall out episode at. This is what I find out that my son hates the most. This even includes them falling out in public. Just walk out of sight for a moment. He will get the point and the picture that what he is doing is unacceptable. Also you have to do it the way that he is doing it. Laying it on him lightly, it wont phase him. Let me know how this works out.

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T.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I will tell you this I have a two year old son and he did the same thing for about 3 months. I tried not to get angry but I just told him that it was gross and that every time that he did it he got time out or a toy taken away. He stopped spitting but we had to replace it with another action, so instead of spitting when he gets mad we take deep breaths and blow out the mad!! It seems to have worked! Good Luck and be patient!! -T.

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E.A.

answers from Toledo on

what we always told the kids in the daycare where i worked was, "if you need to spit, you can do it in the sink" and this worked because the action wasn't forbidden (means they won't want to do it as much) and the novelty wore off after a while.

part of the reason he does it is because he receives attention for it - it may be negative attention, but it's still attention. try telling him "you may not spit at mommy" in a firm tone, then walk away and ignore him. if you do this consistently (it may take several weeks for him to get the idea, and you will have to do it every single time) he should learn that it doesn't get him what he wants.

Good Luck!

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P.J.

answers from Columbus on

Well congrats on getting married!!! As far as the spitting there are a few things I tried some worked where others didn't. When he spits look him in the eyes and fimley say "we do NOT spit at people" and walk away. If that don't work say the same thing but then put him in a time out find a quiet spot and make him stay there for 1 1/2 minutes you get the time by his age. After the time is up explain why he had a time out and then remind him that you love him but spitting is unexcepitable(did I spell that right,lol:). If he gets spit on the floor make him clean it up again firmly letting him know spitting is not nice. My son for some reason went through that and the time out worked cause he hates time outs. Good luck

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