Son Super Clingy All of a Sudden

Hi! Good to hear someone else is going through this. My daughter is 2 and this Fall I tried to leave her with the same childcare person at the Park District so I could take my class and she refused and cried and tantrumed. i gave it a couple weeks and then dropped the class. She was fine all summer with her sister there but then her sister went back to school so I thought that might have something to do with it. I've since seen the clingyness at other times too. I thought she might not be feeling well too but I now think it's a phase. She is the baby of 3 so I can't help but foster the closeness I am enjoying with her so hopefully it's true the independence will come and we just need to ride the phase out!

I have the same problem with my son. My husband just came back from a two-week training in Fort Campbell and my son is real clingy to me. My husband thinks our son hates him now because he doesn't go to him that much. I have been told to leave him with aunties or grandma for an hour at a time or longer to get away from him for a little while. Otherwise you will go crazy like I did while my husband was gone. This may help your son break his separation anxiety as well. (Any advice from military wives would be appreciated for deployment time in December).

Good luck!

Maybe he is coming down with something. My daughter always gets super clingy when she is about to get sick. It could be a phase as well.

C.:

if you can support his need to cling to you it will allow him to work through it... independence is something that must develop - it develops from having a strong base and secure attachments.

time and patience - this too shall pass.

Warmly,

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com

Hi C.. Let me start off my saying THANK GOODNESS! I thought I was the only one that had this problem. My husband was even taking it personal. My 2 1/2 year old did this for a while. It is starting to back off a little but there are stuill times she gets up and won't even speak to her father or anyone else. Just to me. I don't know why they do this seeing that someone besides me is going threw it at the exact same age makes me feel better that it may just be a phase. I don't know if I have helped at all, I have not read your other responces yet, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Feel free to contact me. Take care!

I agree with Patricia's post...just ride out the phase and cuddle him when he's feeling clingy as you reassure him. When dropping him off someplace, just remind him that you will be back as you always come back for him and he can do fun things and tell you about it when you come back. We have 2 boys who just turned 3.5 and 2. For quite a while, the 2 year old was a Mommy's boy and the 3.5 year old was a Daddy's boy and that's who they would cling to if feeling clingy or given the choice of who to go to. Lately, the 3.5 year old is all about Mommy wanting Mommy to get him what he wants, wanting Mommy to put him to bed, etc. The 2 year old has been keeping a close eye on Daddy, wanting Daddy to hold and cuddle him more and wanting Daddy to put him to bed, so they did a little role reversal lately. Every once in a while the 3.5 year old has gotten clingy as you describe, though he hasn't cried when we left him for quite a while now. He'll tell me he doesn't want to go to the child center at the gym sometimes, but then he goes in and plays fine while there and has fun. It's just for a short time that he clings and then he's back to normal for a while until the next clingy phase, and it's definitely lessened a lot as he gets older. The 2 year old still cries EVERY time we leave him, though it is lessening little by little. He's strong willed, so he's more intense about wanting to be held, who he wants to hold him, etc., but he's getting there. Seems like your son is simply working now to establish those roots of feeling secure. :)

I am a SAHM...with a 2 1/2year old boy. It must be a phase, because just as I read you blurb, I am finding myself in the exact same position. I don't leave our son with a sitter, but the other night was the first time I went to a meeting for 2 hours alone - since then our son, when left with his father, has been saying "naughty Mummy", and has been OVERLY clingy saying "I can stay with you". My husband thought it funny that he was saying "naughty Mummy", I'm just hoping it's a very short-lived phase!

Hi C.,

My daughter is 3 and she is the same way all of the sudden too. She will be fine then all of the sudden it is where is mom. I can not even go out the front door with out her right behind me, even though I am just taking the trash out. Her Dad is a great man also. I was told to look for changes that I have done like for example going back to work, new baby sistter, and so on but we do not have none of that. I know my daughter gets clingy when she is getting sick but she is also whinny. Even trick or trating last night she wanted me to hold her. The only think that comes to mind with my daughter is about 2 weeks ago we were at her older sisters school function and she went to get a book and when she turned around I was not standing right there. I could see her she was maybe 5 feet from me. She strted crying and I grabed her in 10 seconds but I am thinking those 10 seconds scared her and she is now affraid to lose mommy. So think back.. It could be a phase or he could be getting sick.... Good Luck

Oh my gosh!! We should hang out! My son is 26 months and is going through the same phase. He cries when I leave him with his Dad-who. he adores usually. And he doesn't like when I talk to other adults. He pulls on my arm and says "Mama, no talk". Very possessive all of a sudden! We also just had a baby-she's 4 months old now. So maybe that is some of it? He thinks I should not talk/play to anyone except him. Anyway, I'm sure just being consistent-saying a quick goodbye- and being positive-smiling and saying he'll have fun- when saying your goodbyes may help ease the seperation after a while. But other than that it will probably just take time! It's hard for me sometimes, but I try to act rather than react to him. Easier said than done!

I third Patricia. Independence will happen if you support him by giving him what he needs-- and right now that is you. This too shall pass and you will miss the days! Just wait until they don't want to be seen with you. ACK.

This society is in such a rush for our babies to grow up. Slow down and let him be a baby!