Son Is So Picky

Hey L.! To make you feel better let me tell you that at that age, my son was eating nothing but chicken nuggets and pancakes! The truley weird part was that he would NOT let me warm them up. They had to be frozen! The good news is that he did grow out of it and he does eat more stuff now(he's 4). Hang in there. If you are really worried about him not getting enough nutrition then maybe talk to his Dr. They make liquid vitimins that you can put in his milk or juice. That way you know he is getting what he needs even if it is not from food. But don't stop trying to introduce new foods. One day he might just eat it! Good luck girl!

I would say to try dressing up different foods. Krafts foods sends out the recipe magazines, that gives good advice on how to do different foods that kids would like. More like giving different foods shapes or faces on them. I say try to make the foods fun for him. I would suggest also getting him involved in helping to cook, this gives them a chance to be more involved and would want to eat what he has helped to do. Have him also look through the cookbooks to see what he likes as well.

Go to Kraftfoods.com and sign up to receive the magazines, they are free and they come pretty regulary.

I'll bet someone told you to just let him go hungry and then he'll eat. That's what I was told. And I just can't do that. My son is still a picky eater. I just try to supplement with vitamins. No easy task because he hates those too. I have gotten him to eat Total cinnamon sugar cereal (only I have to call it "power squares") and that's good because they have the vitamins he needs.

Hi L.!

He might not be as much of a picky eater as a kid who needs some work on chewing and swallowing and accepting textures. Tell your family doctor that you would like him evaluated-- that you think he needs help. Speech therapists and occupational therapists both work with kids all the time with similar issues, it is common and not a reason for alarm but for action. You will be amazed at what these professionals can get done! Your insurance should pay for this.

Good luck,
J.

Firstly, I'm so sorry you've gotten rude advice on this site; I have been called out for some of my parenting choices, too. Community doesn't work if we don't at least TRY to be nice to each other, and what we have here is, after all, a community, albeit on-line.

Okay, off the soap-box.

We also have a picky 2 (almost 3) year-old. We have discovered whole-grain and fruit cereal bars, which have a great vitamin content, so we figure since she eats three a day, at least she's getting her vitamins and fiber. Also, we've found that though she is a picky EATER, she's not a particularly picky drinker. V8 Fusion has no high-fructose corn syrup, and it's a yummy mix of both veggies and fruit.

We've had very mild success with letting her "help" us cook, too. This has worked with spaghetti noodles and boiled eggs. Complicated cooking hasn't worked - I think the leap from bananas, eggs, and flour to muffins is a bit too complex for her comfort zone. Also, since she can open the fridge on her own now, I've designated the bottom shelf as kid food - juice boxes, tupperware with cut cheese or hot dogs, a bowl of grapes pulled off the stems. I've also added those little fruit cups to her shelf, thinking that if she see them there, maybe she'll accept them better. Last night, she asked for peaches! She only ate a couple, but she DID eat them, and it was her own decision! It's a start.

Again, we're still feeling out the whole picky-eater thing, too, so all I can give is the little triumphs we've had, and commiserate a little with the mealtime battle.

My son is 2 years and 4 months old. He is also very picky. I don't know that I have any great advice. I keep offering, and he is gradually trying more and more. He often spits stuff out, which drives my husband crazy, but there's really nothing you can do to keep someone from spitting something out, and there's nothing you can do to force him to eat. I try not to make a big deal of it. If he eats something, I am excited, and if he won't, fine.

I just wanted to agree with the folks who wondered if he's got a sensory processing disorder. The gagging and coughing kind of makes it sound like it. It might be worth looking into, but it's probably just normal 2 year old pickiness.

Good luck!

All I can say is keep trying . . . be sneaky if you have to . . . but keep trying, eventually he will realize there is more to life than toast and chicken nuggets . .. my neice went through a phase like that, white rice, plain pasta, chicken nuggets, and vegetable barley soup (but only if it was from Denny's). . . it took patience and sometimes a little bribery, but she eats like a "normal person" now - - although she still won't eat scrambled eggs if they have any "browned" spots - -

Good luck - oh yes, see if he will drink something like boost or ensure (maybe disguised the yogurt he likes)or take vitamins, just to make sure he gets his daily allowances . . .

L.,
You have received good advice already. I would only add that if he is not talking then look at the sensory processing. Speech and swallowing are often related.
Children often mimic others. If you and your husband are eating brocoli and loving it, he is more inclined to eat a "tree" too. Once you get in the habit of making special meals it is hard to get out of so I would suggest you go to the "cereal is all we have on hand" mantra. Milk should be 3-4 cups a day, not the whole diet. You might want to see how much milk he is drinking.
And remember that they all seem to survive it. Not too sure about the moms though.
K.

I hope you do not think that this is ridiculous advise, but I had this problem when my kids were about two and still have it now that they are 6 and 7, only not as badly. According to a dr. I saw for this reason, children will never allow themselves to starve when food is available, so as long as there is some avaiable for him, he will eat. One of my daughters went through a phase of eating only peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches. I tried everything to get her to eat other things as her main meals, which didn't work, and my husband kept making her sandwiches. I always had fruits, veggies and other healthy snacks that she would eat. Our dr. recommended that we let her go through this phase, which eventually would stop, and it did. He also informed me that when she dropped sandwiches for chicken nuggets and canned peas, that she would be fine then too. For my peace of mind he asked that we give her a children's multi-vitamin to help supplement any missing nutrients.
My other daughter was 4 when she one day said, "I don't like potatoes any more", and neither one of the girls will eat them now, it's been over 3 years and they are fine. We just had to learn to pick our battles and find other ways of getting them to eat more things. They loved watching Veggie Tales, which has good moral messages and the characters are all vegetables. I'd watch them with them and we'd eat different veggies while watching the shows. Our youngest still calls cucumbers "Larry" and can't seem to eat enough of them. Hope this helps some.

L.,

Your son sounds JUST like mine. My son is 4YO now and is still picky but getting better. We tried EVERYTHING with him; starvation, awarding him (more like bribery), counseling. None of that worked. The ONLY reason that he's eating better now is because we laid off of him and didn't force him to eat anything. What we're doing to promote his healthy eating habits is put something new on his plate every meal. If he sees us eat it and not get upset at him for NOT eat it, eventually, he'll try it. He may or may not like it and we just have to accept that. Our doctor told us that he was otherwise healthy and gaining weight normally and it wasn't affecting his growth at all.

I guess it just boils down to relaxing a bit about it and not stressing. It's possible that the stress is making him NOT want to eat anything except what he's comfortable with. Just know that there's another mom in San Antonio who's going through the same thing with you :) Please keep us updated on his progress and what works and what doesn't. Maybe we can try it with our son. Good luck and God Bless you guys as you struggle through this.

A.

I'm sorry you've had some rude comments and unhelpful advice here. It happened to me once too and I know it doesn't feel good.
My now 9-year-old lived on plain pasta and strawberries for about 3 years. It seemed that every time she branched out and tried other foods, she would have a lot of stomach problems. We finally took her to a gastroenterologist when she was 8, and it turns out that she is EXTREMELY lactose intolerant. She has no lactase in her digestive tract at all, so she cannot tolerate even a small amount of dairy. My oldest, now 12, would never eat anything acidic--tomatoes, citrus--which meant no pizza, no spaghetti sauce, no oj. She is asthmatic, and her doctor finally figured out when she was 9 that she also mild reflux, which aggravates her asthma. He said she shouldn't have acidic foods, and I said she's never like them anyway; he said, that's probably why--she instinctively knew those foods weren't good for her. I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes there is an underlying reason why our kids are so picky about the foods they eat. My youngest, who is 4, lives on bean and cheese tacos, mac-n-cheese, bagels & cream cheese, grapes, strawberries and bananas. I give her vitamins and let her eat what she wants. I don't want to fight with her and I know eventually she will branch out. She just finally tasted pineapple the other day and now can't get enough...she's always said she hated pineapple. Okay, last but not least, a close friend of mine has a son who ONLY likes super healthy foods. It took a while to figure it out--she thought he was just very picky b/c he wouldn't eat the standard chicken nuggets, fries, etc. However, it turned out he LOVES fruits and veggies--he comes to my house and requests grape tomatoes instead of chocolate, and once devoured 5 apples in an afternoon. So, he eats tons of different foods and isn't really picky at all, his preferences are just not those of a typical kid. I don't know if this helps at all, I just wanted you to know you're not alone, hang in there and at some point you might want to consider having him allergy tested to see if he has food sensitivies. Good luck!!

At that age you cannot "reason" with a child about nutrition, but you can keep trying. Feed him healthy things he will eat and set out and offer something new and he can feel free to try it or pass. I even offer my boys to spit it out if they don't like it as long as they aren't super rude or gross about it. It takes the pressure off I guess. Many kids have issues with texture, so helping him talk about what he doesn't like about a food will help his fears as well as his vocabulary!
Is he curious about food at the store? Maybe he'll try new fruits or veggies if he helps pick them out? Does he like animals? Maybe if he can pretend to be a monkey he'll eat bananas, etc. Go for unprocessed food as much as you can and just keep trying. My oldest son is 8 and he's just now trying new things, so it's been a long wait but he hasn't starved to death and I never went completely crazy, so life does go on!

Has he always been like this? It may be a case of him having power over you...he realizes this is one thing he can control because you will eventually feed him what he wants, because you don't want him to starve (which he won't). I will not advise you to offer him what you make and say he eats it or that is what he gets at his next meal-that is exactly what you didn't want to hear, right? :) Here's my advice:
Sometimes my 2 year old will try to tell me he doesn't like something-before he has even tried it. I tell him he only has to try one bite and if he doesn't like it, then he doesn't have to eat anymore. 99% of the time he will oblige my request. And about 75% of the time he will end up eating his whole serving of what he didn't want.
Does he ever eat fruit? If not and you would like him to, make him a "milkshake"-some yogurt or a Pediasure and some berries and/or a banana. I make my kiddo a smoothie with chocolate milk, one banana, a spoon of peanut butter and a spoon of dry oats all blended over ice. He LOVES them. Create your own smoothie using whatever you think would go over best.
Try serving something you would like him to eat alongside his favorite foods. Sometimes this is just the ticket to get them to eat something they normally wouldn't.
It doesn't sound like you are pushing him, which is good. This just leads to further food struggles.
Good Luck...hopefully it's just a phase.

Jan 5 2009 Liz had kinda the same question.. Here is my answer adapted for you.

I think as mothers we worry way too much about meals. Your child will not starve. Do not make meal time a battle. It is not worth it.

But,you cannot have your child only eat Chicken nuggets and toast. What you can do is fix meals that are kid friendly, this means, not highly spiced, not large portions and include all types of textures. Keep the meals simple. If you make pasta with a sauce. Place very small portions on the plate and all separate. Let your child decide what parts he will eat. He may eat the sauce but not the pasta. If you are having a salad, put a few small leaves of lettuce, 1 cherry tomato and 1 carrot stick and a small amount of dressing. Let him eat what he likes and if he wants more give her more of that item. If he refuses to eat anything, have him sit quietly at the table till all of you are finished eating. Or you can do what we used to do.

Picky eaters need to be taught to be "Brave Tasters". Encourage the young one to eat 3 bites of food and not spit it out. Also no ugly faces or ugly comments. For each successful brave taste he can be given a sticker. When he reaches an agreed amount, he can be allowed to suggest a meal for the family for another night or as suggested by another mom a fun activity.

Do not make special foods for him. In our family, if you do not want what is for dinner (or any meal), you are allowed to make yourself a bowl of cereal (non sugar)and nobody makes a big deal or makes a comment.

Hang in there mom, he will grow out of this. Many kids are very aware of texture.. Toast and chicken nuggets have a similar texture.

My two year old is the same way. I don't understand but whenever I start to prepare any meal, breakfast, lunch, snack, or dinner, she eats whatever I'm prepping. I let her pull up a chair and kinda help. She will eat enough to satisfy me. I always get excited because I think she is going to eat when it is all finished and at the table she never does. If you have stuff that they can access they will eat it. Bananas or apples on the counter, yogurt in the fridge, whatever she thinks she isn't suppose to have she eats.

One of my kids is super picky. He's 2.5 and has been this was since he switched to table food. I give him the store brand of Carnation powered breakfast drink (Kroger sells them) every morning. And, then I keep offering him different things. It's hit or miss with him. Some days he'll eat a strawberry and then he won't again for months. That makes it difficult to leave food for him when he has a babysitter. He's still growing fine. And, I give him vitamins.

Yep, listen to your "inner mommy" - no need to stress. He will grow out of it. The more attention that you give to the coughing and gagging, the more he'll do it. He'll survive fine on toast and chicken until he decides to try new things. I would be sure to eat a range of foods yourself in front of him and eventually, he'll ask you for some. Good luck and no stress!

My grandson (7 yrs old) is the same way. Forever he loved mashed potatoes and gravy. Now he will only eat the with bacon bits and NO gravy! He loves chicken (sticks, drumsticks or planks), mozzarella cheese sticks, grapes and ONLY "green" apples. I try to give him all kinds of meat and tell him it is chicken. He loves bacon. When he was little, he loved the yogurt sticks that also helped with his teething and now he wants yogurt cups only.. Loved applesauce, now hates it.. Loves hard boiled eggs but not scrambled. He loves hot chocolate year round and will drink milk or juice or lemonaid but hates sodas! He wants a hot dog but no bun and it must be chopped in pieces.. Loves lima beans - this week.. go figure.. Just keep trying a few different things. Maybe cheerios, raisins, nuts and marshmallows in a baggie and let him choose a "new BIG MAN food"?? Hang in there. He will surprise you.

Many of us have been there. You really can't starve him. PLEASE relax, serve regular meals to everyone, and don't comment if he doesn't eat. He will try new things if they are the only options. Missing a meal will NOT hurt him. Stay on his regular meal schedule, make sure you have something he likes once a day, and don't fuss over it. He'll eventually try new stuff. Don't stress, don't make it a battle of wills. I KNOW this is frustrating, I had one of those too. He now eats most things (he is 21 after all), but still sniffs things to see if he like them:)

My 4 year old is the same way. He only eats chicken. He will eat some fruit, but meat and vegies are out of the question! I wanted to let you know I just signed him up for a class at Christus St. John Hospital in Nassau Bay called "Picky Eaters". My nephew did it last year and did really well, they got him to try celery and carrots and lots of other fruits and vegies. They made it fun and had things like peanut butter and ranch to dip things in. It starts in June and is every friday for six weeks. The class is an hour and a half I think. If you are interested, respond to me and I will get you the number to call and sign up.

I unfortunately have no advice, since my son is the same way. I hope this class helps!~

This is a normal developmental stage, but the gagging and coughing can also be associated with sensory processing disorder. I am leery of all the new childhood problems, but it is always worth a look see...if nothing else to get ideas about coping.

My daughter is not picky when it comes to flavors, but she suddenly got weird about textures and foods being mixed together right before she turned two. I am a big vegetable hider. My best trick is grinding frozen spinach in the food processor and mixing it into everything.

Maybe try some other "nugget" as a substitute just to get a new flavor and maybe some different nutrients.

I make a small plate with a variety of acceptable foods...but not so much of one thing that she gets full on it. Whatever is left comes out again later.

She never starves, but we do have a battle of the wills from time to time. I neutrally reinforce that this is what we are eating. I also get ranch yogurt dressing and she will eat salad! I am sure not to offer too many things and she definitely understands "all gone" or "no more". She may not be happy at first, but will usually eat something else.

Overall, I try to only have things available that I wouldn't mind her eating and let her have as much as she wants. I just the slip in some variety when it seems like she won't fight it. It sometimes isn't worth the battle. Right now, I am spending a small fortune on honey greek yogurt.

I have an 18 month old & he still eats stage 2 babyfood, If I give him something he don't want or a texture he doesn't like will do the same thing, cough, gag & throw up, He does eat crackers & the yogurt melts & the baby cheetos but Im having the same problem with him. I've just come to the realization that when he is ready for something different he will eat it. He ate his first banana last week. I cut it up in small cubes & he ate it.Im just waiting it out. He will eventually try different things, until then he is perfectly healthy, so i'm not real concerned....but I must admit, at first I was.
Good Luck!

My daughter is somewhat picky, and not a big eater. I often worry that she is not getting proper nutrition, and her pediatrician suggested Pediasure shakes. I only give her one a day instead of 8 oz of milk as a supplement, but I believe 4 shakes is a complete day of nutrition for a little one. They are expensive, but HEB has a generic brand for a lot less.

Also, I still offer her a healthy meal three times a day, like whole grain waffles or pancakes, cereal (rice krispies, corn flakes, cheerios, chex, kix with whole milk) Hormel natural lunch meat, fruit, noodles, whole grain toast or crackers, guacamole mixed with baby cereal or plain, organic hot dogs cut into small pieces, shredded cheddar cheese. For dinner, I offer her what we are eating.

The good news for you is he is getting grains through the toast and protein through the chicken, so at least he is getting something. Just don't give up, and hopefully he will come around. I hope you can find a solution!

I don't think that letting your child get hungry is a ridiculous suggestion. What you have on your hands is a power struggle. When your child gets really hungry, he will eat the food you give him. It is important to establish healthy eating habits and if your child has to skip a meal or two to do so, it seems like a no brainer to me. You should not be so judgemental about the suggestions you get. When you call them ridiculous and ignorant, you are the one being rude. If you are not open to different perspectives, perhaps you should not post questions on such a diverse platform. Good luck with this issue.

Hi L.
Sorry yuo have had some rude comments- not like most moms I have known-
I have one grand son who ate nothing except cheese and doritoes until he was almost in Jr. hi- he would sometimes branch out with a HB if it was from a certain shop- or a piece of chicken if it was from a particular store- he would not drink anything except soft drinks .....no matter what his parents did he would not eat- so my advice to you is just don;t force him- eat what your family normally eats- offer it to him and if he refuses to eat- just ignore that and give him what he wants so he won;t be hungry---he will eventually outgrow some of this and in order not to give him food anxieties- pick your battles wisely.........I know this is not easy but it is not worth the battle.......good luck and many, many blessings

So sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having with your son. I can't imagine how frustrating it can be at times. As a mom, we are constantly worrying about making sure our children are well cared for and eating healthy. I think you are doing a great job. I have not had a whole lot of experience with a picky eater myself. My son did however go through a stage where he didn't want to eat certain foods. But that only lasted for about a month. But, what i did first was not freak out and stress out about it too much because i was at a point where I was just happy he was even eating period. Even though it was the same food over and over again. But, what I chose to do was put a variety of foods on his plate regardless of whether I knew he was going to eat it or not along with something I knew he liked. I would put it in front of him and yes, he ended up eating only what he liked. But after a while he started trying the other foods on his plate. I say, just keep offering different foods, maybe even adding different spices to see if there's a particular flavor he likes in his food. Another thing, there is this book out of recipes for picky eaters but is great for everyone, it was written by Jerry Seinfeld;s wife, she was on Oprah last summer and I thought was a great book. Her recipes hid vegetables in regular everyday foods like chicken nuggets. IT was pretty cool. You may want to look into that. I hope I helped. But, hang in there, you are doing great even though you may feel like your not. We are our own worst critics.

from
BeeMom

It may be a power struggle thing, another manifestation of the "terrible two's" search for the beginnings of autonomy. At this point you could just keep a variety of foods available at his level and leave him alone.
I think the key is not to "approach" him with the food. Let him think that eating is his idea. These might be good foods to make available: peanut butter and celery boats with raisin crews could be fun. Finger food for self feeding might be good, such as cheese cubes or fruit slices,Goldfish crackers, Vienna sausages, animal crackers, carrot sticks, even fish sticks which are similar to the chicken nuggets.
Also, think if there are any other changes that might be contributing. How long has he been doing this? When my next to youngest son was that age, our cat had kittens and 3 of his cousins came to stay with us for an extended visit. He decided he wanted to be a kitten and refused people food and wanted to eat kitten chow, not the best idea. We found a cereal that resembled the kitty food and gave it to him. After a week or so he returned to a normal diet.
Has he seen a dentist? I notice that what he will eat requires a minimum of chewing. Are his new molars bothering him?
Does he have play dates with other children his age that include snacks? Maybe a bit of peer pressure could help. Don't worry and stress yourself. When he learns that he has more control of his world, he will be more adventurous in his diet. Best wishes.

In my family the KING of picky was my little cousin, he would only eat hamburgers (which for him was a slice of ham on a bun) cheeseburgers (which was a slice of cheese on a bun and if you melted the cheese you had to start over) and cheerios. This lasted until he was a teenager. He is now 25 and at 6'2" I think he is doing fine.

Both of my boys are picky eaters and I have taken a page from my aunts book. We offer them what we are eating and don't make a fuss when they don't want it. I just make sure that the chicken nuggets that I get are real CHICKEN, some of them out there are mostly fat.

I know that at 2 little boys are hard to reason with, just give it some time and for now let him eat whatever he will eat. Once he gets older there are some "tricks" you can try. I trick my boys into trying new stuff and I'm not ashamed to say i bribe them with dessert.

I pray that your family is well and that you get to bring your baby home soon. God Bless You

Jen

This sounds so much like my daughter (now 24 yrs old). My advice is just to ignore it. Since he is not loading up on sweets, then, so what if he does not eat a large variety of foods. just make sure he gets vitamins since he is a growing child.

Of course, as moms, we dont need the burden of preparing two meals. and, we dont like to think that a toddler is "maipulating" us either. So, when in this situation,i just spoke with my daughter and found out what she would eat. i made sure i kept those items in the house, and she began to prepare her own meals (more like snacks) as young as 4 years old. She has never been a big "sweets" eater either nor a soda drinker - and she has stayed thin.

Of course now we have learned that eating many smaller meals is much better for us than three large meals. I have been doing this lately just to loose some weight - and it has worked!

My mom was always of the opinion that if the child really had a strong dislike for foods, then there was a reason. For example, my daughter has learned that she must eat smaller meals more frequently or she gets nauseous.

also as a young child, she was picky and used to complain of stomach aches a lot. They were never so severe that they kept her from having fun, so i thought she was just whining. Many years later, while in the ARMY, she discovered she was lactose intolerant, and the milk had been causing her stomach aches all those years! Now she does eat a lot more foods than before, but is still rather picky - but she has never starved.

She hates it that people are always focusing on what she eats (her boyfriend's parents frequently make comments). Now as an adult, when attending family events,she always brings a dish of something she likes to eat.

With my youngest, 4, we have had some of the same problems. Not to the extent, but, I find that sometimes CHEESE helps with eating fresh veggies. We sometimes melt cheese over broccoli. Also...what about some kinds of organic juices. (carrot juice, or other sweet veggies) Maybe that would acclamate him to the tastes. Hope things work out. I will pray for you and your family. What about ENSURE for children? This would give him the nourishment that he needs. I wonder if he would like the taste. Also...what if you pureed the fruits and veggies and made popsicles? Just a thought. ALso, I read somewhere that children have to have things put in front of them 7 times before they aquire a taste for it...I think it is 7. Happy trying!!

When my oldest daughter was approx. 18 months old all she would eat was vienna sausage. Wouldn't touch anything else. I gave her vienna sausage, but I also put on her plate what else was being served. In our family we had to try 3 "brownie bites" of everything on our plate. We didn't have to eat all of it, but we did have to eat those 3 "brownie bites." I am glad they did this because some of the foods that I hated as a child (spinach & squash) are now some of my favorites. That didn't work with the liver though. But it does teach kids to at least TRY different foods. Hope this helps.

Because they were also very picky, each of my three children--now all "twenty-something" --were still drinking bottles of formula at your son's age. Nutrition was my first concern, and they're all smart, healthy omnivores now. Walking around with bottles didn't hurt their teeth or coordination, and when the pedi asked if they were on 2% milk from a cup, I said, "of course!" If formula is too far behind him, maybe the kids' Ensure is a possibility...

My son is a little younger but my doctor encourages us to put new foods on his plate with foods he likes. Last night we tried a new number 3 baby food that had a lot more chewing than others and after about 3 bites he wouldn't have anything to do with it. So I put it aside and moved on. I will bring it out tonight and try again. It worked great for raw green peppers. I put them on his tray every night for a week and by the end of the week he would pick them up and eat them.

My parents came up with a rule that was enforced when we were about 4-5. We had to try everything on our plate. It had to be a fork or spoon full. I hated potato salad but ate a bite every time. We also hated peas. So the rule was you ate the number of your age. Ever time peas showed up on the plate my sisters and I would count. My little sister still hates peas and life goes on.

My sister has a picky now 3 year old. The rule she set in place was you had to at least put it in your mouth to try it and then could spit it out and eat something else. Now that he is 3 she is making him swallow one bite.

Hope this helps. Just a little variety of ideas.