Son Is Having Eye surgery....I Am a Wreck

My son has had 4 eye muscle surgeries during his life, he is sixteen, he also has a disease where his brain can't tell his eyes to look up. Also he has one dominant eye, which he loves to read and by the end of the day it takes over and only reads with the stronger eye, which is making the weaker eye vision worse. We have done many things to prevent this. I know your sons surgery is different, but realize you are doing what is best for him, and trust God to see you and your son through this. J. B

One mom said it best kids are strong. Just be his rock. My son had surgery and i was scared to death. The doc did tell me it was better now because my son wouldnt remember. The scar isnt there anymore either. He was in pain and upset in the hospital. By the time we got him home around family he was himself again. A little too much. lol. but he bounced back fast. As long as it doenst upset the site of surgery and recovery let him play as much as he wants. be his rock and be strong. And about the eye not closing my eyes never did fully. ( I think they are too big lol) it may seem weird to you but you will still enjoy the look of your sleeping baby. If this is helping him dont feel guilty. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs to you sweetie.

Be thankful it is not something more serious! And be thankful they can fix it!
I had a muscle problem in my right eye that they fixed surgically and also had my eyelids cosmetically altered; so I can tell you there really isn't that much pain. The stitches were a little itchy and annoying, and the swelling, but it wasn't really painful.
Also, I have a niece who was born without muscles to open and close her eyelids. She has been through several surgeries and was just fine.
Pray that God will keep him safe and make him well; then put it in God's hands.
God bless you.

dear T.,

i have to make this kinda quick because i have to get the kids from school here soon. but i read what u wrote and my heart went out to you!

i have never had this exact issue to deal with, but with my 3rd born almost 21 yrs ago he had to have hernia surgery at 6 weeks old! i was already having post partum depression and didn't know it. i also have a phobia to needles, etc. you talk about GUILT and being scared! i felt like i must have become a pro on each instantly! i cried ALL the time. seriously cried an entire weekend. and before surgery was more of a completely wreck than u can imagine. i was freaking because i felt SO guilty on him not being allowed to eat 12 hours before. i kept asking myself. how do you look into such an innocent face, knowing they look at you for every comfort, and explain to him, sorry baby, you can't eat?! then i was also freaked out about needles, etc. and then also about the pain afterwards. when it comes to the after pain issue, i am telling you, it was a miracle! here in my precious 6 wk old baby and he wakes up and smiled at me, and continued being his happy self thru the ENTIRE recoop period. he acted as if nothing had ever happend. he smiled, laughed, stretched his little body out(which made me cringe), etc. he seriously never acted like a thing bothered him!

anyways, it wasn't nearly as bad as i made it to be, though i can't say i ever want to go thru anything like that again. hopefully you and your little guy won't have too bad a time with his either. i wish you luck, and will keep you in my thoughts. take good care of both of you.

C.

T.,

First of all, I'll be keeping you and your son in my thoughts - I know how difficult it is for you to see your baby go through something so traumatic. My baby girl had to have surgery when she was 2 days old, and I too was afraid about things like pain management, how long and hard her recovery would be, etc. I can give you a little bit of reassurance, though, that might ease your mind a little:

1. Doctors and surgeons take working on babies VERY seriously - they are keenly aware that babies can't tell you when they are in pain or scared, and in my experience they really go the extra mile to make sure your baby is comfortable and pain free. It's not like when adults have surgery at all!

2. Motrin really works for pain management in babies - I was doubtful that my daughter could have major surgery and all she would get was Motrin/Tylenol for the pain of recovery, but she never seemed uncomfortable or in pain at any time, which made me heave a huge sigh of relief. It did make her tired, though, and she slept alot.

3. Babies heal REALLY FAST! My daughter had a huge incision in her stomach 5 months ago, and you can barely even see a scar. It's amazing - your little boy will be up and running in no time and you'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about:)

4. You can't feel guilty about doing something to fix a condition that will ultimately hurt his quality of life if you leave it! Believe me, he will thank you later when he can see clearly.

I know this is a tough time, and it will be so hard to give your baby over to a surgeon where you have no control over what happens and you cannot be there to comfort him, but you will get through it. Getting more information about the procedure itself might help ease your worries too - ask your doctor what the recovery will be like, when the stiches come out, how long before he can run around again, etc. so you feel like there are no surprises.

I'll be sending good thoughts your baby's way this week for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery!

C.

Do NOT feel guilty...there is nothing to feel guilty about.
Get yourself together right now OR your apprehension etc. will be communicated to your boy which will NOT be good for him.
You are doing what is best for him, so just go with what the doctors tell you.
Do what is necessary for the best outcome for him.
Be matter-of-fact and do NOT be a hovering, over-protective mother.
THAT would NOT be the best thing for him.
You will all get through this just fine, and be the better for it.

You are using sound judgement, you are looking out for the well being of your child, this is something positive that you are doing for him.You are being a great parent, sorry I can't say anything to take your worry away, when you see him after the surgery you will feel better. Here are some I'm really worried mommy tips. Drink some tea. Cuddle with your baby and hold him close. Cry in the shower not on your baby. Continue being the mom that you are. Motrin works better than pain pills in most situations, plus it doesn't have the side effects, and it decreases inflammation. Godspeed.

T.,
I just want to say that as a mother if your weren't
worried about your son, there would definitely be something
wrong with you. On a positive note, your son will come
thru his surgery with flying colors. My daughter was
3 days old when she had to have major surgery so I understand what you are going thru. Kids are alot better
patients that we adults are.

K.

Hi T.! I have no idea what the surgery is that you are talking about, but I thought I could give you some words of encouragement. My daugter, Kaylee, was diagnosed with what they called CCAM during my ultrasound when I was about 5mo along. I had to have twice weekly appts and ultrasounds from that point on, and also faced the possibility of them doing surgery while she was in my belly. I had left her abusive father, so I was dealing with it alone. I was induced with the NICU team standing by to scoop her away. She spent the first week in the hospital for observation and tests. It turned out to not be CCAM, but pulmonary sequestration. We had follow up visits with a pulmonary specialist at 9mo, 2yrs, and 5yrs. At the 5yr appt., they could not even see it anymore! She is a healthy, happy, almost 8yr old now. The power of prayer does indeed work, and I will pray for you and your family.

Dear T.,

I am religious and I do believe in God. I have not been through what you are going through. My children are 23, 24, & 25. Also have a 21 month old granddaughter who I am blessed to see quite often.
I have had cancer 2 times. If it was not for Gods power and many prayers from all people I would not be here today. I believe in His healing power. I will pray for healing not only for your son but also for a healing and calming of your soul. Will also pray for blessing for your upcoming marriage.

T. ,
Take a deep breath and breathe your son will be just fine. You don't need to feel guilty, these kind of things happen to children and all we can do is keep them comfortable and Love them.He really should not need any more than Motrin Really. Calm down and remember you are having the surgery to help him not harm him. Creator will also help him heal as he should. I say Creator because I don't want to offend any religion as I am Native American. Sending you a big Hug and please get some sleep , your tension will make your child tense even if he doesn't understand it.
Debbie

Hi,
I just wanted to let you know it will be okay. My son is 6 and has already had 3 surgeries and maybe one more on the way. He also has an eye muscle condition, extropia, which he will probably have to have surgery to fix. He is also sensitive, but weirdly enough, the surgeries that he's had did not bother him. Kids have a very good pain tolerance I found out. Don't feel guilty about this surgery. If it will help him in the long run then you are doing a very good thing. I was very terrified when my son first had surgery, I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. It's just very scary. You are reacting normally. I hope this helps you. I feel for you.

I feel for you T.. Knowing that your son will be in pain is the hardest thing for a mommy to experience. Just give him lots of love and cuddles. My son had a surgery when he was 7 mos old and the fear that my husband and I felt was overwelming. Just remember to not let your little guy know how scared you are...which will be hard... so that his emotions and fears stay within reason. I can tell you that it will be an emotional day...take blankie, paci, a favorite stuffed toy to the hospital with him so that he'll have something that he knows, since he will be around a lot of strange faces that day. Remember, too, that you are doing this for the sake of his health! Don't feel guilty. He'll get through it...you seem like a caring mommy and that is exactly what he'll need for a speedy recovery!!!
~K.

Relax mom! It's harder on the parent than the child and IF the child feels mom's stress then it'd affect him/her. The healing process is quicker and easier on the child and the pain level decreases daily. Once it's over - it's not all that bad. The doctor propably prescribe eye drops to keep his eyes moist. When you go in for the surgery - take a book to read or puzzle to do or a friend.

THat is so weird that you posted today I was wondering how you were doing. I know that he will do wonderful. You are going to be just fine too just breath because the more anxious you are the worse he will be. You are doign the right thing by him getting this taken care of, I am sure you did your research on this place where he is having the surgery. So sit back take a breath and he will do wonderfuly. Kids are resiliant(SP)!!!!

T.,

You have to research this procedure and get a second/third opinion. What are the risks if you wait a little while longer?

T.,

Good luck. My daughter had surgery for muscles that did not develop as well. Her surgery was only 1 1/2. So hopefully your son will not be in actual surgery for 8 hours. We were at the hospital for approx. 8 hours in total time before we left. And the healing time was about 2 months...with check ups up to 12 months later. It is truly not as bad as it sounds...I know I was a nervous wreck!

N.

T.,
The surgery is the best thing you can do for your son at this time. He is young and won't remember any pain or discomfort. If you wait or he does not have it done the painful life he will lead as he get's older with not being able to see, or the other children making fun of him, will hurt a lot more then the discomfort from the surgery at this age.
My daughter was 2 when she had eye surgery, and had to stay in the hospital for 3 days. That was 28 years ago and I still remember the thoughts of being so scared for her and going under the anaesthetic. But we had faith and the Lord took care of her and he will take care of your son as well. Praise God that he is having it done today and not 28 years ago Doctors know so much more now
Blessings to you all
M.

Here's the long run story....my brother in law is 30 and he has the same kind of eye surgery. In fact, he had to have 3 or 4 on his eyes when he was little. His eyes weren't droopy, but the muscles didn't develop either. He does quite well now. His eyes aren't perfect, but he doesn't wear glasses or contacts. I know it seems awful when young ones have surgery, but they do tolerate pain better than most adults do!

If you are still unsure, you might as the dr. if he can refer you to someone else who has had the same or similiar surgery that you can talk to face to face.

Hang in there, Mom!!! I'll be praying for you both!!!

I am having eye surgery on Friday, also. You are doing what's best for your son so don't second guess yourself. Kids deal with pain better than adults do in most cases. I have faith he will be just fine. I will say a prayer for his quick recovery and while I am prepping for my surgery, I will be thinking about him. :)
K.