Son Getting Bit at Daycare

Updated on June 09, 2013
J.S. asks from Kalamazoo, MI
8 answers

I am asking this on my sister's behalf: her son, who is 13 months old, is getting bit at daycare. This has happened at least 8 times. The daycare claims it is him, as an instigator, as he doesn't like to share. Really? He is 1!!

My sister has had discussions with the daycare director, but she (my sis) doesn't feel there is any accountability set up for the workers to correct the situation. Supposedly a worker is suppose to shadow the biter all the time, but I don't know if that is helping. They can't really afford to switch to another daycare.

Any suggestions? Ideas for the daycare to implement?

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answers from New York on

Is he one or two? I would want to know what he is doing to have been bitten that many times. How old is the biter? Might just need to switch daycares.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Biting happens. If they are shadowing the child they are doing everything they legally can. They cannot restrict this child, can you imagine how his parents would feel knowing their child spent the day in a play pen or some other sort of restrictive device.

She needs to understand that kids bite. She needs to keep in contact with the teachers and with the director. She might even take the day and go spend it there. Just to see what they're doing, she might be surprised how hard it is and how fast those little ones truly are. This might make her feel better.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Boca Raton on

I have been on both sides of this. My child being bitten over and over and my child being the biter. This happens with young children. The red flag here is how the school is handling it. To say that a 1 or two year old is an instigator shows a complete lack of responsibility and accountability of the school. I pulled my son from his preschool when they said something similar about him at a year and a half, really??? That is so unprofessional and completely inaccurate about young children. The school should be shadowing and staying close by. They should be able to identify triggers and redirect the biting child. It may take a little time for the child to learn more appropriate behaviors but it does not have to be at the expense of other children. Teachers need to be down on the floor in the center of play with the kids to help in this situation but it is apparent that the school does not think they share any responsibility in this. I would pull my kid but if it is financially not possible, research everything about biting in toddlers and provide them a list of preventative measures they should be taking as well as a lesson on age appropriate behavior for a 1-2 year old.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I'm not sure how a 2 year old can instigate getting bitten?? Your sister is paying them to supervise, entertain, and keep her child safe. They are not doing that. If changing is not an option she needs to speak with the director again and if that still doesn't do it give a call to the PA daycare licensing board and inform them about their shortcomings

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answers from Miami on

The daycare isn't going to implement ANYTHING, J.. They don't understand child development AT ALL. Your sister needs to find another daycare.

13 month olds don't instigate. That's BS. They are still babies. No 13 month old shares, ever. He isn't getting bitten because she doesn't share. He's getting bitten because the other child is a biter, pure and simple.

The daycare doesn't care that her child is getting bitten. The proof is in the pudding because they blame her son. She needs to get him out of there and get him in a different center.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Salinas on

Call whichever agency oversees daycares in your state. In California it is Community Care Licensing. Ask what the protocol is in this situation first. If you feel it is not being followed, report the daycare.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with everyone who says that no 13 month old shares. After having 2 kids in daycare, I also know that biting happens in this age group. It's upsetting, but developmentally normal for the kids to do it.

But here is my question - is there a single biter in the room? Has the child been bitten 8 times by the same other child? Or is this a room with an out-of-control biting problem and many of the kids are biting out of frustration? Or, it is several biters, but they are all targeting your nephew?

It makes a big difference in how the director/teachers handle it. If it's one child, then the director needs to put an extra teacher in the room that does nothing but shadow that child and distract him when he starts to get into tussles with other kids over toys. If there are several biters, but all targeting your nephew only, then a teacher needs to shadow your nephew to prevent tussles.

If many kids are biting and several kids are being bitten, then the director needs to reorganize the room. They should be breaking the room of kids into several smaller groups where they can have more control - smaller groups within the classroom, more organized activities, less free play time (because it sounds like that is when the biting is happening). Even if the ratio is the same, 3 teachers each in separate parts of the room each with 4 kids is a lot less chaotic (and less conductive to biting) than 1 teacher watching 12 kids play while another teacher changes diapers and the third teacher does paperwork.

My point is that the biting, in and of itself, is unfortunately, a part of daycare. What is disturbing is that the center director isn't coming up with any of these ideas. Throwing her hands up and saying "we don't know what to do" isn't an acceptible response.


answers from Houston on

Please do not report the day care. What will happen is that the poor, underpaid teacher will get fired and then the daycare can show that it was actign on the complaint.

Stay home and care for your own child or find another center.

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