Someone Has to Have an Answer

Updated on October 13, 2011
S.L. asks from Moab, UT
19 answers

Background to this question:
4 month old who is having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. At 2 months we tried Zantac because she was having trouble with watery stools and arching her back and fidgeting while she was eating (dr was calling it acid reflux). When Zantac didn't work, and my supply was running really low, we took her off breastmilk and put her on Gentlease formula due to what I thought was a lactose overload. Things got better, but were still not great so we tried Axcid. She was on that and every time we increased her dosage, she would do really good for two or three nights and then back to normal. We finally tried Prevacid, and aside from the expense, it really didn't make any difference either. Last Monday we switched her to Soy formula, hoping that it was a milk protein sensitivity. She was good for 4 nights and then back to her normal again.

We have tried the Miracle Blanket with an additional blanket to keep her legs wrapped up, elevating one end of her bed, putting her down on her side, back, and tummy, turning a fan on, and with white noise in the background. We have also tried to put her to bed earlier, later, with a bottle right before bed, a bottle not so close to bed time, with rice cereal just once during the day and right before bedtime. We have also tried all gas drops and Gripe Water. I have also read the Happiest Baby on the Block and tired all the S methods etc, and nothing.

During the day she is on an awesome nap schedule already and she has been going to be at night at a regular time as well. She will go to sleep easily most nights around 7:45. If she is having a good night, she goes down on time and only wakes up at 2ish for a bottle and then goes right back to sleep.

So here is the problem. When she has a bad night, which seems to be 4 or 5 nights out of 7, she will be up 4-6 times in a night. Many times is just wants a binky or needs to be re-swaddled (not sure how she gets out of the miracle blanket but she does). If you pick her up, generally she is back to sleep before you even get her all the way to your chest. When you pick her up she doesn’t have gas or anything (although I wouldn’t be surprised if that is what wakes her up because she has a lot of gas at night- even though the soy has seemed to take care of the gas during the day). Other times, she is arching her back and twisting and turning until she almost falls out of my arms. She is so fidgety that we have to put her in a swaddle just to get her to eat sometimes.

Is it time to start letting her cry for a bit at night and see if she can put herself back to sleep? I can tell you this theory does not work with her during the day when she is flipping out over something and I am busy and can’t get to her right away. Should I contact the doctor again and see if we should put her on a stronger prescription? I hate the idea of giving her something stronger, but at the same time I really need to sleep.

There has to be something that makes this kid sleep!! My first was so much easier!

Let me just add that I don't mind waking up once or even twice to eat or just to be held, but its starting to get out of control. Right now I am sitting at my desk at work and can barely find the energy to do anything of value and working for two people who don't have kids- that isn't going to work.

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

As you know, every baby is different, and although their basic needs are the same, they can manifest in very different ways.

If it were me, and I'm not saying this is the right or wrong way to deal with your situation, this is what I'd do. Put her in bed with me. It's what I did with my son. My son, breastfed baby, woke at least that much, every night, until he was 18 months. He was a high needs baby. See www.askdrsears.com for more info on high needs babies. You may find you also have one. Having my son sleep next to me allowed him to sleep more peacefully, which allowed me to sleep more peacefully. We were more accessible to each other for feedings, comfort, whatever, and I didn't have to get out of bed to do any of it. It saved my sanity, truly.

I know co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone, and I was adamantly opposed to it, until I had my son, and realized how sleep-deprivation was destroying me. Then I read more about co-sleeping, and tried it out of necessity, and found it to be a completely wonderful experience for both of us.

Just my $ .02.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Sounds like she is just not a good sleeper. Our little girl will be one next week and still gets up 3 times a night for a little snack and she is back to sleep. A good friend of mine has a little girl who is also almost one and still gets up every 2 hours(they tried letting her cry and she would do it for 2 + hours, so they stopped)
Something to think about......I have a friend who's family owns a chiropractic business, they see a lot of babies with reflux, for most of them it dissappears after only couple of visits.
For me when my babies are up at night I just rock them and thank God for the amazing gift.First year goes by so fast, and years after that even faster. So i just try to take it in, even when I am tired.............it won't be like this for long.....(I LOVE THIS SONG by Darius Rucker)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5zCaRaJ-kE&ob=av2n

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

My pediatrician is a wise father of 5 who tells me frequently, "Mom, there's 3 things you can't make your child do: Eat, sleep or use the toilet." Didn't realize the wisdom of this until I went through 2 years with each child of waking 2 or more times a night, struggling to get a child to fall asleep in the evening after a long exhausting day, trying to convince a preschooler to eat dinner, and toilet training my son who could hold a bowel for 5 days straight. I tell you this because I hear the desperation in your post and I can relate. However, sometimes in my life I have found that instead of trying to change the habits of my child, I needed to adapt myself to deal with each child's uniqueness. Because you are working, you are technically working TWO full-time jobs, 1 is parenting and the other is your occupation. I'm not sure you can do both well right now given the baby God has handed to you. I came to the conclusion when I had my first child that I could be replaced at work in a heartbeat, but I was irreplacable as my daughter's mother.
Some kids sleep well from the womb, and others don't. I have 3 kids, 2 of which didn't sleep through the night until age 2 and I'm currently getting up 2-4 times a night with my last one who is 21 months. Parenting is HARD and some children just take more effort than others. When I read a book by Elizabeth Pantley called the "No Cry Sleep Solution" I learned that a large percentage of infants (don't recall the number) DO NOT sleep through the night until after age 1 and 1/3 of all preschoolers wake at least 1 time during the night. The expectation parents have that babies and toddlers will sleep through the night from 6 weeks is just unrealistic.
Please resist the urge to let your little girl cry it out. Research shows it can be damaging especially very early in infancy: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-.... Please check out www.askdrsears.com for better ways to soothe a sleepless child (there's other great tools there too like medication dosages). Caution with teething tablets as many contain a powerful sedative, an opiate called belladona, in varying concentrations. It can be addictive and even fatal if given in large quantities.
As another responder said with a song....It won't be like this for long! Nurse Midwife Mom of 3

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★.O.

answers from Tampa on

You may want to get back to breastfeeding... which is easy. Seems she has the same symptoms regardless of her liquid diet... and breastmilk would definitely be better for her.

Breastfed babies do have a lot more liquidy stool with little rice/kernel/seed looking things in it - that shows how well the milk was digested and used... the firmer the poop the more waste there is.

Along with breastfeeding, I strongly advise bed-sharing. Some babies NEED that while some others can be forced to accept sleeping alone. Give it a try for at least a week once you've re-established nursing (should only take 2-3 days). If u have questions about relactating... PM me.

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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

Feed her, she's hungry. I don't think there's anything wrong with her at all. It just sounds like she isn't a baby that's going to sleep several hours in a row at such a young age. It's completely normal for babies to eat 3 or 4 times at night.

You could also try co-sleeping. My oldest was not a great sleeper (didn't sleep through the night until 16 months). He began every night in his bed, but the first time he woke up we brought him in to bed with us, and everyone went right back to sleep. He's 5 years old and is now a fabulous sleeper. Hardly ever wakes up and sleeps a good 10 to 11 hours every night.

It really will get easier, but I think you might be asking too much right now.

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✿.R.

answers from Boston on

Ultimate Aloe juice. It's amazing. The link is below so you can check it out. It's all natural and safe for baby. Strawberry Kiwi is usually the one kids like. All my boys had acid reflux and were on zantac. I got them all off their meds with this product. It will also super charge her immune system so she won't get sick as often. Common colds and stuff. :)
My first son slept in his swing for the first 4 - 5 months of his life because he wouldn't sleep any other way. :) That may help you get a couple hours sleep anyway.
Good luck. Let me know if you have any questions.
By the way this site is offering free shipping on this product right now.

http://bit.ly/ripp5j

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

If she's falling right back to sleep with the pacifier or before you even get her to the bed, I'd try letting her cry for a bit. When we did this method, we would still check on our baby first to make sure she wasn't stuck, poopy, or something that needed to be taken care of. But we didn't pick her up or speak to her. We just went in, checked her over, gave her the paci, patted her back, and then left. The most she ever cried was like 7 minutes, and then she started self-soothing and could fall back to sleep on her own.

Once they get to the age where they can pick up the paci and put it back in their mouth, you'll be in heaven. :)

Don't try to get her to go all night if she's still hungry at midnight/2am. Although, some doctors say that once a baby is at 12 pounds, she should be able to sleep through the night without needing to eat.

Be patient - I know you're probably at the stage where you're screaming "I just want some sleep!!!!" It will come.

Like a few others said, too, we had our second daughter sleeping in her swing for awhile. That was the only way she'd sleep for more than an hour or two, and I needed it!

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B.S.

answers from Springfield on

You got a lot of great ideas - have you tried chiropractics - they do amazing things with babies.

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K.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son had slot of the same symptoms as your baby, i also hated having to give him all the medication at such a young age. We got him on the formula Nutramigen, it's made by enfamil, and this formula was truly a miracle, it sounds like she is having tummy aches the way you said she arches her back and twists almost out of your arms, my son did the same thing. Also, how she is waking at night, have you maybe thought she might be teething? My son got his first bottom teeth at 4 months, try the teething tablets, see if that helps. Good luck! Hope you can find some relief soon. :)

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H.R.

answers from Anchorage on

It's called being an infant and wanting attention from your mommy, being all alone, maybe scared, whatever it is, you need to tend to her needs... some babies can sleep through the night, others wake up 6+ times a night. Just as every individual in life is different, so to are infants.

I am really surprised to see that your answer is to drug up your little baby. This is frightening. Stop with giving her all these toxic drugs, did you ever think that she is having a reaction to all these drugs in her little system ??!!! I wouldn't give her any drugs.

I also wanted to mention that soy formula is so bad for babies. Read a few articles here about it (that could also be the problem):

http://search.mercola.com/search/Pages/results.aspx?k=soy...

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/0...

Infants fed soy formula have an increased risk of:

Food allergies and digestive distress
Behavioral problems
Asthma
Thyroid disorders
Early puberty and fertility problems (including anovulatory cycles; the inability to menstruate)
Cancer -- It's also important for pregnant women to avoid eating non-fermented soy, as a high estrogenic environment in utero may increase their child's subsequent breast cancer risk. Boys could increase their prostate cancer and testicular cancer risk. Vegan moms who use soy as both milk and meat replacements AND are trying to take in more protein are at very high risk.
As you can see, the health risks far outweigh any "benefits" soy formula promises.
Now, we can also add fibroid tumors in adulthood to this list.

******

Do not let her cry it out - that old theory is barbaric. Turn the tables and think 'how would I feel if the only person in this world who can take care of me abandons me at the very moment I need them most ?' God doesn't do it to us, we shouldn't do it to our kids. Be there when she is crying, comfort her, do you want a trusting bond, where your child knows they can count on you - or do you want to be a mom that is cold, uncaring and your child loses hope...?

Your sleep will come in time, be patient. Every mom knows what you are going through. Try to take naps when your child is sleeping. Just be there for your child - because once they are a few years older, they will be so much more independent and then you will wish for the days when they actually needed you...

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L.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi S.,

It sounds to me like she is just acting like a 4 month old. It took my first daughter 2.5 years to sleep through the night. Luckily, my second only took about 6 months. Every child is different.

It could be so many things. She could be hungry, or maybe the cereal is constipating her. Four months is early for cereal. She might be sleeping too much during the day, or maybe she just needs some love from mommy. She is so young still - crying it out should definitely not be used at such a young age. It is meant for older infants who understand how to use crying to get attention. In the first 6 months of life, a baby's primary concern is survival - eat, sleep, and cuddle. They should be fed and held on demand.

I know this causes exhaustion, but that comes with the territory. Welcome to the world of Mommy Zombies. :)

Good luck,
L.

PS - Just read some other answers - I am a huge supporter of co-sleeping!! It is actually safer than crib sleeping (less SIDS deaths in co-sleeping babies) - check out Attachment Parenting to learn more.

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J.C.

answers from St. Louis on

My kids never slept through the night. They ate cereal bottles through the night & even went through spells where they would wake to play an hour or two in the night. They were happy, fed, changed but wide awake. Babies do this. I have never figured out the people whose babies sleep through the night by the time they are weeks old. I think she is very normal and is going through growth spurts, schedule changes. I don't know if they still make them but they used to have pacifier pals & they connected to their sleeper & my kids learned to find the string & get the binky to their mouth at a very young age. Desk jobs suck when you don't get sleep....I was much better at wating tables without sleep because the moving kept me going...now that I have a desk job (& I am older), if I lack sleep it sucks...If she is SAFE, DRIED, FED & OF COURSE NOT SICK, you do not have to run to her everytime she wimpers. She will be fine. You may try to start not running to her everytime during the day first.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Does she sleep propped up? Sometimes if someone has reflux or heartburn issues, sleeping on an incline can help. Put a pillow under her mattress at the head of her bed.

I would snuggle her for the moments she needs it if that seems to help. At 4 months, she's still a tiny baby. My DD was still nursing in the night then, and sometimes they just need some TLC.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Check out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." Four months is just about the age where you can start trying to work on their sleep schedule. It can take 3 weeks or more to adjust to any changes. Mary's advice was very helpful for my boys when they were younger and had sleep issues.

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H.M.

answers from Denver on

I'm not a doctor but it appears that you've tried lots of things in a short period of time. Perhaps you need to stick with one thing (formula, sleep habits, etc) for a longer time frame to see what really works.

Also - if you think formula is the issue (appears that way from your post) I could recommend Nutramigan - my daughter was on it and while quite expensive it is the closest thing to breast milk and least likely to irritate.

Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We had the same problem with our daughter and for the most part did exactly what you have been doing. Unfortunately we were exhausted and miserable, as I would imagine she was to, till she hit about 6 months of age then she slowly but surely began to grow out of this "faze". I don't have any wonderful advice for you as again, we tried everything you did and nothing worked. I know she was just a gassy kid with acid reflux and we even think she was a bit colicky. We swaddled but she always managed to get out of it. If she got up in the middle of the night she could and did scream for almost two hours. It was aweful. Be as patient as you can and good luck!!!

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J.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you tried a bottle when she wakes at night? At 4 months old they still need a couple bottles during the night too. None of my three kids slept through the night that young. My youngest that just turned one recently was up every 2-3 hours through the night to eat until he was on all solids and milk.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

First of all she may be having digestion issues due to not being old enough to have solids yet. Her tummy cannot digest it yet. It is sitting in her tummy making gas.

Try sitting her up in a bouncy seat or her car seat so that her tummy is not flat. Our little guy slept like this until he was about 6 months old, he started getting fussy and would not stay asleep. Hubby took him out and laid him on his back flat. Little guy rolled over on his tummy and slept like a rock.

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J.T.

answers from St. Louis on

All three of mine did that, slept great but then around 4 months started waking up at random times. For baby #1 we just got up and gave paci and she fell back asleep. Around 6 months she started sleeping through.
For our twins, we resorted to letting them cry it out (Baby Whisperer did not work for kids sharing a room!) at six months. It took two days and they slept through the night. I wish we would have done it sooner! Our doc said after four months it was fine to do. You may want to double-check with your doc but if it's okay with him/her I say go for it! Everyone I know who has done CIO said it worked. I used the Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book as a guide. Basically at night you let them cry with no limit and at nap time no more than an hour. Good luck!

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