Someone Always Complains About Dinner

Updated on March 21, 2011
A.P. asks from Gainesville, FL
24 answers

My question is what do you do to get your kids to stop fussing about dinner.. I have 3 girls who all eat very differently. It seems like no matter what I make for dinner there is someone complaining. I don't feed them something else, i am not a short order cook! they eat dinner and have one snack before bed, (no snack if they don't eat what was for dinner) We do eat out once a week and rotate who gets to pick the place. And there are just a few things everybody likes but ...

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So What Happened?

My girls are 13, 10 & 7, I used to allow a bowl of cereal or to make their own dinner if they didn't like what i made, but my 13 year old abused this priveledge and then they all started to follow suit. For example I made home mead mac n cheese (granted I made everyweek for 3 weeks running) and they all wanted to just have cereal! So now I ignore fusses and they can't choose anything but what is for dinner - last night was roasted chicken, noodles and mixed vegetables and I had to make my 13 yr old take no thank you helping of chicken. I guess what bugs me the most is that they keep changing what they like and don't like and it seems ther is just no pleasing them sometimes. My fiance is the one who eats with no fusses and he also usually makes dinner (I make menu). He is a much better cook on that we all agree. He also has a much wider variety of foods he eats so he lets me decide what to maeke...

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Let them learn to cook or help to prepare the meal. When they see how hard it is to come up with a menu, they might change their minds. Not only that, they get to eat their own creation.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I say keep doing what you are doing...there is no way that I would cook differently for 3 different kids. Perhaps try to make a menu ahead of time and involve the kids on what you decide to cook.

3 moms found this helpful

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Too bad so sad...they have the choice that you serve and that's it. I have three kids and I am in the same boat...Someone is always grumbling...even DH sometimes....Like you I am not a short order cook...Because it is important to eat healthy these days I've been cooking dinner that way...I get the ewwwwww. Whether you work fulltime or you're a SAHM cooking is a lot of work. Stick to your guns! Do your best to make meals enjoyable but don't stress over it. I've stopped and if the kids go hungry at night...There's breakfast when they get up :)

5 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

In our house if they choose to yuck my food they can go without.
I didn't even start this. HUbby was sick and tired of the 4 yr old one night and to bed he went. Since then if the little ones said yuck my older son let them know what Daddy did to him and they have kept their opinions to themselves.
I do try to make meals that they all enjoy and mine are not picky eaters.
It really helps when hubby likes what you cook and enforces the rules at the table.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.J.

answers from Miami on

Can you pick one night out of the week where each child gets to pick what THEY want? That way if they complain about wanting something else you can remind them that "Fridays are "choose your own meal" night, you can request that dish then".

I also agree with Teresa S.

Best of luck!!

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

LOL, I just responded to a similar post, I copied and pasted it below.
I feel for you and let me just say you will almost NEVER please everyone, just as in life. Just keep serving it up and they can either take it or leave it :)
(prev post)
As kids grow their appetites and tastes vary and change. All three of my kids (now 17, 15 and 11) went through periods of eating too little, too much and not much variety.
Did it stress me out? No, and I'll tell you why: they were always very healthy and strong, growing and developing normally so I just didn't worry about it. I was NOT a short order cook, I just tried to keep the meals simple and make sure the choices were healthy.
I know moms are concerned about nutrition but it dismays me to see so many disciplining their kids when it comes to food. They will get what they need over time. I like the idea of having him sit at the table until everyone is finished though, because meal time is family time.
If I make something for dinner that the kids don't like they are welcome to make themselves a sandwich or have a bowl of cereal (low or no sugar) and milk instead. They started doing that early on, around age 3. Also, you can keep a colorful basket of snacks on hand either in the fridge or cabinet: cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs, fresh fruit, nuts, cereal, fruit leather, yogurt, etc. That way, if he doesn't like what's being served he has options. Relax and have FUN with it! Good luck :)

4 moms found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I think at the root of this problem is a lack of thankfulness. I would attack it from that angle. This is a common problem with children. Blessings!

3 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I have learned to make sure there are at least two 'reasonably eatable' choices on my son's plate. This means two foods I know he'll regularly eat. And then, I simply ignore the "I don't like it's", because it's not a conversation I want to encourage.

I once worked for a family where each child was rather 'catered to' by the parents in this regard. I think you are wise to make the one meal. Kids are going to complain, even if we make their favorite things, sometimes. They are still immature and 'want' something else at dinner, just because they come to the table either tired and grumpy, or with expectations.

How old are your girls, anyway? I know when my son (almost 4) is being unpleasant at the table, we sometimes tell him that we'd like to eat our meal, and that he may come back and finish when WE are done eating, and send him off to play. We are trying to teach him that there are things which are appropriate to be discussing at the table (potty talk is NOT one of them) and that when you are rude or whiny at the table, it's unpleasant for others. So, rather than engaging with him about this, sending him to play so that we may eat in peace is our answer.And he's learning that if he wants our company, it's worth it to meet expectations.

So I guess my answer to your question is this: ignore the usual groans and vents, and if the whining is prolonged, give your child context for what they are doing. They may go grumble in their room and come back when they're ready to eat, or when you find you are ready for their company again.

And try not to take it personally. They are little complainers somedays, huh?!

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

This drives me crazy too.

I've gotten to where - if you don't like what's for dinner - feel free to make yourself a peanut butter sandwich. And don't whine to anyone else about it.

It is so frustrating to work very hard to put a meal together and then hear complaints on a regular basis.

One thing I started doing (we homeschool) is to have my sons rustle up breakfast and lunch on Tuesday and Thursday (I provide easy ingredients). That seemed to help them be a bit more thankful for meals that are provided.

Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You don't say how old they are, but if they are old enough to complain, they are old enough to start cooking and planning meals for the family.
If they are young, give each child one night where they can be your special kitchen helper and they help you mix up, put together, cook the evening meal together. Initially they can make sandwiches and salads, etc. You handle the actual cooking part on the stove or in the oven for anything else.
As they get older, they can handle making most of the meal themselves.
People who are involved in the preparation are much less likely to complain.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Does Dad complain? I find that is the chief thing that will cause it. So the only thing we agreed on is that no matter what he doesn't say anything that isn't positive in front of the kids, if my older son pipes up he checks him and tells him to thank me for dinner. That is what we do!!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

You tell them that they can start making dinner if they don't like what you make. And they need to make enough for everyone! Oh, they're not old enough? Then they keep quiet and eat what you made or they don't eat anything at all. A couple of missed dinners and they will keep their opinions to themselves.
L.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes, I HATE this too! Like someone else said, we offer plain versions of the same meal, sauces on the side, "try it" cups for spicy or dishes the kids are unfamilar with instead of putting a heaping portion right on their plates. Mostly, I just make sure there are a few things out on the table that I know they like, a cup of fruit, raw veggies, breadstick, pasta side dish, etc. I try to rotate the meals to hit everyone's favorites at some point. We eat the things certain family members detest when they are not home. The kids can always fill up on healthy sides of fruit and veggies, milk, etc. *I* don't make separate meals for anyone, but, every once in awhile, we allow my youngest to make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of what we are having for dinner. We allow this because it only occurs about once a month (usually when we have some type of stir fry which the rest of us enjoy). If the kids start complaining when they sit down, depending on the severity of the rudeness, we will either ignore it and change the subject, or send that child away from the table until they can be respectful.

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

You are doing the right things. We had this problem for a while, and the way I got it to stop was by making a new rule. If a child disparages or complains about what I have cooked, I pick up their plate, dump their dinner in the trash, and send them to bed hungry. My older daughter did it exactly one time before learning her lesson, and my younger (stubborn) daughter did it twice. And NEVER AGAIN. It's a memorable consequence, and they don't want to repeat it! They know better than to be rude and disrespectful to me now. ;)

For the record, they are allowed to say what they liked or did not like about dinner, but they are NOT allowed to be rude about it. For instance, "Mommy, next time, do you think we could have broccoli instead of asparagus?" is fine, while, "GROSS! Asparagus! EEEEEW! DISGUSTING!" is not. They also do not have to eat everything on their plate. If they don't want to eat it, that's fine and I don't care, but they can't say, "I'm not going to eat this. What do I do with it?" They just simply leave it there on their plates untouched.

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S.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

Have a sit down with them and explain that from now on if they complain about the meal, they are excused from the table. And then follow through!! Shouldn't be too long till you have happy "customers". :)

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Keep doing what you are doing! No matter what you won't be able to please everyone each night. You will lose your mind if you try to make everyone happy!

2 moms found this helpful
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R.L.

answers from Roanoke on

Maybe you could have them decide the menu together in advance, and if they don't agree on something, then mommy gets to pick what's for dinner. :)

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

you didnt state how old they were but here is an idea. make a chart with various main dinner choices along with sides. let them come together and decide on a meal that will please the 3 of them. but the key is that they all have to agree on the main meal and 2 sides (or whatever you serve with dinner).

what i do with my 4 year old is that she can eat whats served or go hungry.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

For the most part our kids eat what we eat. We don't make separate meals. We don't really argue or fuss about food either. We have always had the "no yuck, no gross and no face" rule in our house. We tried to teach them early on that these reactions are rude. We try everything and if you don't like it you simply say "no thank you" to seconds. I always try to mix it up, for instance I know my son isn't a huge fan of squash, so we make sure we cook something he does enjoy like rice or chicken, with it. You can't force a kid to like something, but you can teach them nicer ways to react.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I like what Teresa and the other moms have said. said. Meal time should just be a a meal and family time. Make the meal and TEACH your children it is considered rude to make ugly comments and faces about what is served. If they refuse to eat ANY of the meal and IF you are willing, allow them to make a small bowl of non sugar cereal or a peanut butter sandwich.

Remind then they do this out in public it is not acceptable and at home they are being rude to you and it hurts your feelings.

I am sure you do your best to feed them healthy and well, their part is to eat and be grateful. I did not look up the age of your children so pick what may work.

Do allow them to help make up some menus for family meals.. This summer actually give them a budget for a few meals or a few days and have them look through the ads, look up recipes, take them shopping and have them pay. If they go over the budget, let them decide what needs to be put back.. Then have them unload the car, put it all away have them cook it, and clean it all up..

You decide if you think this project should continue even once school starts in the fall.. They will learn to appreciate that this ONE thing you do for them, is not quick and it is not always easy..

I was going to suggest once they serve it you and your husband talk about how you do not like this or that or it does not smell good, or make the same comments they do, but I think it would probably hurt THEIR feelings too much.

Just speak to them about it makes you feel.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Some of you are lucky!

My kids both have gastroenterological problems. My daughters wasn't too bad, and she eats pretty much anything. My son however was so sick for so long, I fed him anything just to get him to eat. I also have a friend who's daughter has such severe gastro reflux that she doesn't eat. At 6 I think she weighed 30 lbs. The only thing she'll risk eating is pancakes -- nothing else was worth the pain. There were nights she would wake up crying she was so hungry and go in and ask her Dad for IHOP at 2AM, and you never saw some one dress and drive faster.

Just figured you might want to see another side. Some of us would be happy as long as they eat -- we would be happy if they wanted something else, as long as they ate.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Teach the kids to say, "No thank you" if they don't like it.

We offered the kids "like" substitutions. So if my stepson wouldn't eat peas, he could fix himself a salad. But no green jello. And everyone has to have a little bit of the main meal. They had to taste it before they made PBJ or something.

We also put sauces and noodles separate, so if I like curry but the girls will eat stir fry without anything on it or one kid wants soy, we can accommodate everyone easily.

And once a week we have leftover night so everyone gets what they like - so long as it's a real meal.

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J.M.

answers from Tampa on

Most of the time everyone eats everything or a few things when I make dinner. If I make chicken, rice a roni, green beans and applesauce (example) my oldest will eat everything but the rice a roni. So, she eats chicken green beans and applesauce. My youngest will eat it all but some days doesn't want green beans. Hubby usually eats it all. Another day I might make Salsa chicken with rice (all will eat). Then there are pork chop days when I make pork chops sour kraut and dumplings. They might just eat the pork chops and then I open a can of corn or beans and they have applesauce. I can let them choose without making sides on top of my main dish. Tonight I made burgers and hot dogs on the grill with microwave potato's (cut up potato with onion, butter, salt and pepper), Caesar salad (from a mix) and dinner was served. Everyone ate what they wanted and felt full. Needless to say all that was left was 3 hot dogs. I overcook when I use the grill. Offer small variety but insist they eat the main course. My kids snack too at night and during the day on cheese it's (sp) and fruits/veggies and yogurt. I'm lucky my family isn't picky eaters like my sister in laws and nephew. They only like pizza, burgers, fries and candy. Not much of a choice with them. And when they visit they either eat what I have or they bring what they want.

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