Social Skills Development for Autistic 4.5 Yr Old

Greetings C.: I have had my computer down for several days and just found your post. I have a 21 year old son with Aspberger's Syndrome which is a form of Autism. I asked him to give you advice: Hi my name is Jon. This is all norml behavior for a child with Autism. People with this tend to be more comfortable by themselves and in their own world than with other people and in the out side world. He can interact with others but this learning disability will stunt him in this area for the rest of his life. For the most part, its because its a sfaty thing. In the world he knows and can controle, he feels safe. Once he leaves that, namley by interacting with others, he looses that safty net, so he'll need help with this. He may even need to be shown how to interact with others, and constant incuragment to do so. Always try to stimulate his brain. Animals are perfect with this as people with Autisom tend to gravitate towards animals and things more then to people. If you can, find a dog specialy trained to help special needs children. Music is another way to stimulate it. See if there are any instraments he can learn such as Piano, guitar, flute, clarenate, drums, or what ever.

If you need more help, contact my mother through momasource.

Have you investigated "floortime" by stanley greenspan? It's a theory that has seen many results in my practice.
An autism diagnosis also is usually eligible for your local regional center, which should provide a behaviorist for in home help. Also, because of your son's age he should be eligible via your school district (after age 3). Many school districts provide home programs.

Social skills groups and therapeutic recreation are wonderful. Check to see what is offered nearby. You can also hire a teen who can mentor your child and help him join in with other kids.

The only advice I have which I know you're on it already is too, give him lots of love, don't stop researching information about Autism, watch his diet, and be very patient.

I have some quesitons for you.... How did you find out, what test were done to determine that he was Autisic? Did you notice a change after his shots? How was your pregnancy? I'm sorry about all the questions, it just the whole break out with Autism just has me really curious...

I have a son with Autism and I have so many helpful resources for you. I have so many to list so please feel free to email me at ____@____.com

I know this is late, but I just read your post. Your son sounds EXACTLY like my granddaughter who wasn't diagnosed until she was 5. she is an only child, so social interaction only happened for her really at my house. (I have six other grandchildren.) She will play with the other grandkids for a very short period of time, and like you say, it has to be her way. She will get tired of them or they will get tired of having to do it her way all the time and then they go their separate ways. i don't bother her too much about it - if it's what she wants and she's happy being by herself doing everything her way. In fact, she acts like the other kids are just in her way so I don't push it. She interacts just fine with the other kids in school and after three years in special ed, will be mainstreaming to a regular classroom next year. when she comes to spend the weekend, which doesn't happen often - She doesn't like change or anything new - I do make her go out in the backyard and play with the other kids for short periods of time. Like I'll tell her she can watch one hour of TV (her favorite thing to do) and then she has to go out and play for thirty minutes. When it comes time to go outside, she's angry and a lot of times will just sit in a chair on the back patio and wait out her time until she can come back in which is fine with me. She can spend her time any way she pleases, but she will be outside with the other kids. All I'm really saying, is don't push him too hard. He will progress with his social skills, especially after he gets in school, but as far as I can see with my granddaughter, they will never be at the same level as a non-autistic child but they are happy in their own little world and really that's what most important - that they are happy and well-adjusted to their surroundings!

There is an organization called Parents Helping Parents, which will probably be very helpful to you in answering questions, giving referrals, and having other parents to meet with. I read another response with some good advice about playgroups and seeking services from your school district (yes, even before he starts school).
Remember that Autism is a "spectrum" disorder, with a big range--thus some of the kids may not seem very different---sometimes it's the little things. Your son may be already happy, but may need some intervention to assure that he stays happy as he gets older (peer behavior expectations will change, peer interests will change).
Autistic kids learn differently, and often have trouble integrating new info with what they already know. What you teach him will work best if it comes in small pieces and gets added in gradually, in steps (A, B, A+B, C, A+C, B+C, A+B+C, and so on). This is for social and communication stuff too, not just academics.
You sound like a great mom. If you and your son's dad both get involved in helping him, your son should have good odds of achieving social success.

Hi C.,

Consistent with what the other mamas said, get involved in some agencies/organizations that can provide you with professional help. Early intervention with autism is critical, so try to find a place that can help you navigate the system. The one org mentioned below, Parents Helping Parents, can provide you referrals, guidance, support, lessons learned from other parents. Call them and get educated, but do get plugged in to something so you can maximize his potential. Ask your doctor for referrals, too. And feel free to get a 2nd opinion. Sometimes doctors/professionals label things, but they don't always agree. Good luck, and kudos to you for reaching out.

Hi C.,

Sorry to hear about that. But, with all the medical professional helping him. There are special schools for children with Austism as well. I think your son will be okay. Just give him alot of love and attention. Focus on what he really is into and support him on that. Austism doesn't make them different. Just unique. Take care.

Hi There,
I would contact TACA, (Talk about Curing Autism Now) and go to one of their meetings. (there is one in Santa Rosa on the second tuesday night of the month) Do you have North Bay Regional Center resources? Does he have an IEP? You should be getting a home teacher to come work with him, and there are many social groups through Early Start of Rohnert Park, and RPTA in Santa Rosa. I'm not sure where you are located. My son has been "in the system" for seven years with special needs. Please email me privately if I can be of any help to you. There are so many rewards to raising a child with special needs, the little victories are so much bigger. I recommend you get as much support as possible. Look into Matrix parents network, I am part of an online support group that has been helpful. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

W.

C.,

Community Gatepath, a Burlingame nonprofit that has been serving children with special needs for over 35 years has just added Psychologists to their staff. They are planning to start Social Skills classes which might be perfect for your son.

Additionally, they have parent education series that you might be interested in. The next one coming up also seems like it might be of interest to you:

Increasing social, language and play skills of young children
Date & Time: Monday, Feb. 8, 2010 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Location: McCarthy Center for Children & Families
1764 Marco Polo Way, Burlingame 94010

Description: Fun, play-based games for parents to try at home. This presentation will review ways parents can support the social, language and play skills of their young children at home. Specific suggestions will be outlined and parents will leave with a range of fun, play-based games to try with their children

Contact: Gatepath Children's Services
###-###-####
____@____.com

Best of luck!

Hi, looks like you got a lot of info, and there is a world more of it out there. Good luck sorting through it all! Since you asked about social skills with game playing, here's one technique: Set up some play time, and tell your son he has to play the other kids' game for one minute, then they will play his game for 5 minutes. You can play with the time depending on your son and his personality. The idea is to get him used to a little give and take, and turn taking. And make it really worth it for him. You could even start with 10 seconds if thats what works. Start small and go from there. There is a great visual tool called the Time Timer to help with understanding time. Its a big timer (get the big one, small one doesn't help as much) check it out. www.timetimer.com
you don't have to go out and buy it, but it has helped for some kids.
Anyway, hope that helps out. Cheers, L

I know you've received so many great responses already, but I just wanted to chime in quickly about something another poster brought up. Looking someone in the eye can be almost impossible for some Autistic kids. Forcing them to do so can be like putting a claustraphobic kid in a closet. It is scary and un-natural for them. A good alternative is to have your son look at people's mouths when they speak. This will help him to focus on what they are saying (and you will know he is listening to you), without putting him in a frightening situation.
Obviously since Autism is a sprectrum disorder, different people will have different 'symptoms' associated with it. Your son may have no issues with eye contact, but if he does this is a great alternative until he get's comfortable looking others in the eye.

Please remember that Autism is really just a different way of being, not a wrong way of being.

Hi C.,

I work with children that have special needs. If you are interested in learning how to make a difference in your child's health let me know and I will send you a DVD on a child that was severely autistic and how his quality of life was changed.

There is also going to be a childrens wellness expo in Sept in Oakland.

Have a great weekend.

N. Marie

Hi C.,

Contact your local school district and look into their special ed programs. If the district offers a preschool autism class I suggest you start there - the earlier the diagnosis and care, the better success rate your son will have for developing social skills. For starters, make him look you in the eye when he speaks and remind him to look at his friends when he speaks to them. Take pictures of him showing different emotions and talk to him about faces and what they mean. Talk to him about his different emotions - while they are happening so he associates the feeling with the name of the emotion. Give him a lot of praise "I'm so proud of you for using good eye contact" etc. Again, check with the schools and look into any autism programs they may have. The teachers will work with you to develop a program for your son.
J.

Along with the other advice you received, I wondered if you knew a family that has an older child, age 9 or 10. My son never played well with kids his age because he would also want to control the activity, but older children are very patient with little ones.

God bless you and your dear child.....

the web site for Parents Helping Parents is www.php.com

Check out some of the support groups:
PHP Asperger Support Group
Parents Helping Parents
Sobrato Center for Nonprofits - San Jose
1400 Parkmoor Avenue, Ste. 100
San Jose, CA 95126
###-###-#### x118

C.:
The first thing I did for my little boy with autism was to treat him "biomedically", because he was very sick: mercury poisoned (by the shots), with enterocolitis (from the MMR shot) and in a lot of abdominal pain that would prevent him from having any interaction with people.
As I was detoxifying him, he would improve in all areas. He lost the diagnose in one year aprox.
Take him to a DAN dr who can treat him biomedically.
If you can combine biomedical treatments with behavioral help, this will work very well.
Some kids will not improve under behavioral therapies, because they are not being treated biomedically.
Check out the www.generationrescue.org
site and TACAnow site.
Check out my yahoo group for the chelating creams (I don't sell them, they are the ones I used with my son), they were amazing and part of the miracle.
____@____.com (chelating creams -detoxifying creams- and supplements for autism).\

Good luck and blessings

Hi C.:
You can look into social skills groups designed for children who have various sorts of social challenges (autism, ADD, etc.). My daughter (Asperger's/High functioning autism) benefitted from the Cornerstone therapy playgroup at the Ann Martin Center in Oakland http://www.annmartin.org/cornerstone.html - it's a group of about 4-6 kids and a couple therapists and assistants who help engage the children in play activities (they have an assortment of things like K'nex, legos, art supplies, building toys, etc.) and guide them towards learning to interact appropriately with the other children in the group.

I've also heard good things about CommunicationWorks in Oakland and their play therapy groups for children: http://www.cwtherapy.com/groups.html

Have you contacted your local school district about early intervention and other support services that your son might be eligible for?

Good luck!