****SO WHAT HAPPENED Added****posting of 'Mine' on Facebook

Updated on April 16, 2013
F.W. asks from Union Hall, VA
37 answers

Is anyone else upset by this? (mandatory question).

I feel as though, in a private time of grief...not only was my post 'shared' (without any notification...at all), BUT, they also got the 'relationship' wrong!

I feel violated...and the 'wimpy' apology JUST DOES NOT CUT IT FOR ME!

I want mamapedia to know just how violated I feel. I have been a member in good standing since it was mamasource. I would like to believe that I have helped some parents here...at least more than I have pissed off!

I have felt great support from the parents here...and took risks by sharing 'my' stories - with the intent of both giving AND receiving help.

My grief is greater now...and I sincerely doubt *I* will post here much again.

I caution others to be aware...be VERY aware...that the next thing you post here may be 'fodder' for a facebook page. According to the 'rules' (or even common sense) what is posted is surely 'out there'...but it never occured to me that it would be flagrantly posted (with NO reading of preceeding posts to clarify relationships and FACTS).

Best to all...Be cautious!
michele/cat

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So What Happened?

What happened to me happened...It is done. I hope it will serve as a caution to us ALL that what is posted ANYWHERE on line is really just 'out there'.

I vented. I thank you for your support.

I have moved on to planning the 'celebration' of my peter's life. He wanted NO memorial...so, I hope, with a few weeks from his death, a celebration will not offend him.

Food, drink, stories, pictures, music, friends and family will all be included. Hope he does not 'send' a tornado (flood...locusts...lol!)

I am OK...and will be.

So will we all.

Featured Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

To everyone with FB. Find the official Mamapedia FB page, "like" it, then scroll down to look for the story about losing a child. I would like to strangle the Mamapedia employee who mans the FB page who was too lazy to find out what the post was really about. 2 or 3 clicks on this woman's profile would've revealed the actual story. Extreme laziness has caused unforgivable struggle, for a regular poster of great substance whose thoughtful responses have touched the life of countless moms, for YEARS. I don't get really mad very often, but today I have fucking had it.

Love you Cat.

:(

25 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Madison on

I'm very sad that all this has happened. Yes we're all aware that nothing posted on the Internet is private, but for MMP to choose that particular story to 'pimp' their website is seriously gross to me. Cat's story is heartbreaking and VERY personal. When I read Cat's original post about her SO, I was very touched and heartbroken for her. But since I'm not a long time user of the site and haven't gotten to 'know' Cat like many of you have, I felt a little out of line even reading her story....I felt like she posted that for her MMP friends to share, not for 'strangers'. I know that's probably not the case, but that was my feeling upon reading it. For MMP to use it to promote the business is shockingly inappropriate to me.

I'm bummed that everyone now feels the need to change their names and info (although I totally understand and will be doing the same). As I said, I'm not a long time user, but I had found a few Mama's whose opinions I shared and insight I valued and i always looked for them to see how they felt about a topic. Now we'll have to start all over, and I feel I've lost a big part of what made this site special to me.

16 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

They seem to keep finding new ways to show only hits are important to them and the revenue they generate. The people that make the hits and their feelings seem unimportant.

11 moms found this helpful

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Cat:

Oh my God!!! i JUST saw it! I am soooo sorry!!! I am very saddened by their response to it as well.

"Mamapedia Our apologies to C.W. for implying that she lost her son instead of her significant other. Still, we wish her comfort in this time of loss and we hope that the attention her post has received has been a source of comfort to her as that was the intention."

VERY saddened by their lack of respect. They should have at least asked you if they could post it. Their intentions may have been "good" but really!?!? WOW!!

I guess I need to read the T&C again to see if they can do that.

I am sooooo sorry Cat! VERY SORRY!

13 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I'm so sorry they did this........ please don't let this stop you. You've had great wisdom for many others through the years.

I just changed my name, also....... but I'm sure I will be a bit more hesitant to give advice, also.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Remember, that no one answering did this. None of us agree with it, and we all are so very sad for you in this time. I'm really sorry about this mess here.
While I totally agree with your anger (I would feel the exact same way,) I guess it's a sad reminder...that nothing we post on here is "ours." Kind of sad, for that to be the takeaway. :(

12 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh my gosh! I had no idea they had a fb page. WQhen I first read your post I had no idea what you were talking about, then I figured it and took a look.

I am so sorry this happened to you. The idea of them posting stuff from here to fb really bothers me. I can't explain why, but it really does.

12 moms found this helpful
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K.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I really had no idea Mamapedia was doing this with our posts, and it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. If anything, out of courtesy and to show respect for our members' privacy, the site admins should AT LEAST be asking permission to repost the stories/posts on FB.

Get with the program Mamapedia... and shame, shame for letting the corporate greed monster drive you to humiliate and betray your members. Time to get back to basics. The personal stories of your members are not fodder for the very public forum of FB and your members are worth more than whatever money the FB "likes" and traffic will earn you. There PEOPLE with EMOTIONS here, not "products" and our stories are not for you to peddle for your own gain.

12 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

omg!!!
this is HORRIBLE!!!
i am so sorry this happened to you!
:( khairete
S.

12 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Cat,

There are a lot of us on this site who stand in solidarity with you. It's hard to see something so personal, which you assumed would stay within this community, be used in the way it was.

I want you to know that the indiscretion of the person responsible for throwing that onto the FB site *does not* diminish the value you--and what you share--bring to this forum. You must do what you feel is best for you for right now, and I can understand your anger. I'll likely be more careful regarding what I post as well and may very well change my username.

My thoughts are with you.

12 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

Thank you for your comments here. I'm so sorry - MP is only about MONEY. They don't care about you or me or any of us.

Marc, I hope you're reading this. Shame on you people. You know, this site is NOTHING without the questions and answers. Stuff like this just means you lose what MADE this site great.

Cat, just want you to know we care about you. So many of these moms care about each other. I just hate that you won't be here. I really do.

11 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Cat, I am so upset that MMP did what they did with your post. It makes me sick to my stomach. XXOO

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L.P.

answers from Boca Raton on

wow. really? you mean mamapedia shared your post on fb? is that is true, You (mamapedia) people suck

11 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I'm so sorry they took your pouring out your feelings here and felt they could copy and paste your words anywhere. It does seem like a violation!
I can only say that maybe your words helped another who is going thru grief? I agree it was morally wrong of them Let's hope it at least helped someone while it hurt you.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I am so sorry your soulful post was linked to Facebook. I am not on Facebook and had no idea MMP would do something like that.

We are Mamapedia. It's the community of moms from different experiences and view points mixed with wisdom that make the site attractive.
The ability of these moms to offer support with restraint of language and respect of different views along with straight talk that pulls at masks and protects children and heals marriages IS mmp.

I don't like this kind of behavior. Confidentiality is not promised on the Internet but the moms that make MMP deserve BETTER!

As for Me, after today,I plan on boycotting this site for one week. Then I will see if anything changes.

May you have Peace, Cat.

11 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from New Orleans on

Love you, Michele.

I think MMP was way wrong on this.
Some things MMP should just leave alone.

10 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

That really sucks. I've always enjoyed this site, and the camaraderie and support. It does feel violating to know this is something they can do with what we write. One of the best things about this site was the ability to be semi-anonymous, but at the same time get to know each others personalities and lifestyles, opinions, sense of humor. I hate the thought that we all have to become more anonymous now and change our names and details. How am I gonna recognize my "friends"? I'm already confused by some of your new names :( MP just cant seem to get it right. I feel like "WE" are mamapedia and its always a harsh reminder that "we" are NOT the site itself.

9 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I am very sorry both for your loss and for MP's callous exploitation of it.

I think that Mamapedia can forget in their pursuit of a buck that those of us who post here are personally invested in each other. They forget that we are people, and instead they think we are merely part of their product. It doesn't excuse their behavior, but perhaps it can help us to understand that what we hold to be sacred is not held as such by the message board.

9 moms found this helpful
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S..

answers from Los Angeles on

Cat you have my condolences and heartfelt support in your time of grief...I am very angry that your life was exploited for the entertainment/money making/greed of a corporate entity.

I had no idea there was an official facebook page...I knew some members made a "private" FB page for members who wanted to visit there (I was invited, but declined as I liked my "privacy").... I went to the actual "official" FB page this morning and was shocked, that there was a site actually linked to this one.

I am saddened that what I felt was our semi-private world of help and support has been offered up to the facebook gods to make some more money for the site owners. yeah, I know it is a business...this drives THAT home...

I know I can't delete my account, but I will change my name again and start working on deleting my questions and answers...slowly as I have been here sense mamasource days...there have to be hundreds of them...plenty of fodder for the masses on FB...

Now I can save one to two hours a day of my time...thanks Mamapedia for finally breaking me free from your addictive chains.

This is my last post...."Seacrest" OUT!!

9 moms found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

Thank you for being vocal about this. It is tacky of them to use your (or anyone's) post this way. It is taking your emotions and using them for advertising their site. To us, this is a community and a lot of us have bonded, communicate away from this site, and know more about each other than we even know about friends in our neighborhoods. To the admins, it's a job they do a certain number of hours per week. They couldn't even take the time to get your story right. Tacky.

9 moms found this helpful

V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Thank you for bringing this to still others' attention. Tactless, is but one word to describe it. I am sorry you (of all people) were used in that way.

I am quite irritated by what I saw over there.

9 moms found this helpful

I.W.

answers from Portland on

I saw your post on FB. Shame on them! especially for getting the facts wrong.

9 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

yup, it pissed me off too.
So, I changed where I live, I changed my picture, and I changed my username.
It will be interesting to see if anyone can figure me out! lol

8 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I guess I kind of assumed that any of the posts here were fair game for MamaPedia to use however they choose. Once we post something it's no longer "ours" but "theirs" and they don't need our permission to share the threads on the connected Facebook page. There's probably something in the guidelines about it, and if there's not there should be. But the fact that the FB share links are on every single post in every single thread as well as at the bottom of every thread AND within the original post, I think it's safe to say that the Powers That Be will continue to use and share any thread they fancy.

I never, ever function under the belief that what we post here is private or sacred.

I do believe that their choice to share that particular post was insensitive and common sense should have told them to choose something else. But don't let that drive you away. WE are not THEM. WE are what make the community... they just facilitate it.

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

Uncool. Uncouth. Inconsiderate.

Boycotting.

Anyone else?

8 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Fargo on

Mamapedia screwed up!!!! I wonder if they will link THIS question to their facebook page?

Cat, I am so sorry that this happened to you, especially on top of all that you have endured. I am sure that Mamapedia has their behind covered in their terms, but this seems so very violating. My heart goes out to you!

8 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am so sorry this happened. How utterly insensitive and stupid. I feel violated for you Michele.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am so sorry anything would compound your grief. Please know that so many, like myself, who do not know you are sending you love and praying for you. I hope the celebration of life is healing and brings you peace. Many blessings sent your way.

7 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

That is awful. I don't post on here very often any more, and now I probably won't post at all any more. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that MMP added insult to injury. Take care.

7 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

This is not cool. I will be VERY careful of anything else I post here. I am very disappointed in this forum.

7 moms found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

This makes me sick to my stomach. How dare they? Without permission. To promote their own self-preservation.

Michele, I am so, so sorry.

7 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Columbus on

I reported their post to FB as "harassing a friend" and asked it to be removed. I think everyone should do the same. If they get a warning or suspension from FB maybe they will think twice before sharing personal things.

7 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think if questions get a certain amount of responses, they post them to Facebook. Personally, I dont 'like' mamapedia on Facebook because I like to keep them separate. I didnt see what they posted, but very sorry if it upset you.

6 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

I'm so confused......

ETA.....................................................................

Did a little sleuthing and now understand this post. First I am so sorry for your loss.

I am kinda like Jessicawessica when it comes to posting online. Once it's out there it becomes the sites to do with as they please, and while they did get the facts wrong, I don't think their intentions were to hurt, but instead to show support.

Again, I am sorry for your loss.

6 moms found this helpful

M.O.

answers from Cleveland on

I changed all my information as well. (I'm sure people can figure out who I am, but that's not the point.)

I will be boycotting this website for a while. It's sad when this website takes a very private moment and uses it for it's own personal gain and then claims to be doing it in order to garner "support" for you while you're grieving. (But couldn't be bothered to get the details right.)

6 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know the details of what happened beyond what you've shared here, so I'll respond just to that information.

On the one hand I think sharing people posts is in bad taste... and really just plain mean if it was done to make the author the butt of a joke or group criticism.

On the other hand... it isn't like they had to copy and paste your words... There is a "Share" on Facebook button to click at the bottom of EVERY post! I mean the button is right there.

There's nothing private about anything posted here, it's a public forum. You're PUBLISHING your thoughts. Anyone, member or not, can read EVERY post, so why would we be more bothered by it being posted on Facebook than here?

I would probably feel violated if my personal situation was posted on facebook, but I would feel violated if it was posted HERE as well.

You are entitled to your own feelings and process, however.

Hugs to you.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Roanoke on

BOOO Mamapedia!! What good is the site anymore if we can't feel comfortable to post personal thoughts/feelings? Defeats the purpose of the site. Now we can just talk about surface things.... what do you all think of the weather today?
Lame...

2 moms found this helpful
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