So Tired of Being Fat...

Updated on April 02, 2013
Y.C. asks from Frederick, MD
30 answers

First of all, let me preface this. I have good self esteem, and I'm in a loving marriage, and I have four great children, and I'm happy and have a great outlook on life. Unlike some of my siblings who have borderline abusive spouses, nobody berates me about my weight. I have a good (desk) job, and my economic future seems fairly secure. But I'm morbidly obese, and it makes me sad.

I don't hate to exercise once I'm doing it, but the inertia and ambivalence I feel about getting started is ridiculous! I don't hate to eat healthy, but it's so easy to get disorganized about it and then it's back to what's quickest. And sometimes I go to food for comfort or as a 'reward'. I'm just SO type easy on myself. I want so much to retrain my brain.

I work full time, and I have two kids under 5 in daycare all day during the week, so I don't feel right about taking more time away from them in the evenings...but my husband puts them to bed every other night, and I could work out then. I can also work out some days during my lunch hour. So, no excuses, right? I have no excuse not to be working on this.

A few years back I went to a psychologist to try to get past the question of why I had such a hard time making real progress in this area of my life, when I didn't have that problem in other areas (finances, housework, parenting, relationships, work, personal growth). She basically told me that my whole family was fat, so it was genetic, and that I had better just make peace with it. She also told me I would have to exercise for like 6 hours a day to reach my goals, which, of course, was not possible. And she gave me a book on self-esteem for fat women. I never went back. If it was genetic, all my kids would be little butterballs too, right? But they are not! That was so NOT what I needed to hear.

Sometimes I wonder if our generation (I'm 42) is just screwed, because we were raised at the height of the growth of processed food and low-fat philosophies, formula-fed, corn-fed, etc. and those things led to a lot more fat in our bodies than people before our generation had...or hopefully that generations after ours will have. But mostly I think that is another bullsh*t excuse I've come up with. :)

I would need to lose about 140lbs to be at a 'normal' weight. But I don't need to get all the way there...just 75-100 lbs would make such a difference, if I could keep it off!!! That's what I struggle with the most, that sense of inevitability of gaining everything back...that stupid 'counselor's' words ringing in my ears. Even though I am this heavy, I don't have any chronic injuries, and I'm not diabetic, and don't have high blood pressure or anything...but I know that stuff is right around the corner if I don't get my act together. I'm completely against the idea of bariatric surgery - I've heard too many horror stories. So if it's going to happen, it needs to be me changing the way I live. far as a question anyone else in this same boat? Did anyone else use to be in this boat, but found the strength to make a real change? And if you did make the change, how did you do it? Thanks to everyone for reading this long post.

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answers from Harrisburg on

I just loaded My Fitness Pal app on my's free, basically it is a calorie counting program. I started Feb 11 and have lost about 20 pounds.
I have not started exercising yet. I wanted to ease into this so that I wouldn't totally hate my life all at once. I have to say there are a few days I am starving, but most days I am ok. And now my pants are all too big, so that is a nice feeling! I am similar to you, I'd like to lose 100 lbs. Now I have 80 to go. It is really one day at a time though. I use the Weight Watcher message boards to find low calorie ideas.

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answers from Washington DC on

Just wanted to tell you that I'm rooting for you! I've battled my weight all my life but over the last 1.5 years I was able to get some of it off and keep it off. Nothing feels better than losing the's the biggest motivation out there to keep up the good work! So get going now and make it happen. You'll see results which will help you keep those gears in motion.

The first step is realizing you need to make the changes. You know what the next steps are!! And take it one day at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!! :)

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answers from Chicago on

OK...I'm going to make the following statement...and please understand I'm not trying to be mean or cruel.

This entire post is nothing but a list of excuses and whoa-is-me whining.

Here are some basic facts to help:
1. Diet, especially after 35, is 80% of weight loss. It's less about working out (although you should, to be healthy), and more about calories in/out.

So...count them. Get a food scale. Read labels. And count them. You can make the same stuff you always did...same comfort foods. Just eat less. Period. Once you see real progress, it'll be all the motivation you need.
And if you're morbidly obese, it will be VERY easy to make a few small changes and see BIG results quickly. Within weeks.

2. Stop whining, and do it. Or deal with it. There is no magic pill, and no one that can talk you into it. You will do if you want to. Period. And right now, based on this don't want to.

Again. I'm not trying to be cruel. I'm just a very matter of fact person. Who made lifestyle changes 10 yrs ago and lost 20 lbs by doing it.
If you don't WANT to put in the effort, it won't happen. It has to be a choice by you and for you, without thinking of anyone or anything else.

And it may need to dominate your life for the next several months. Measuring, tracking, calories, etc... But that's the only way it's going to happen.

I say all of this with love and encouragement.
YOU CAN DO IT...if you want to.
Best of luck!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, I'll share my "average busy mom looking to drop a few pounds" discoveries with you.
*Join a gym.
If I had to work out at home it would BEVER happen. For me, I gotta get in the car, drive to the gym, spend a hour there & drive home! Then it happens. At home I'd always be able to find another load of laundry,another room to pick up, vacuum, etc. join & GO!
Many places have 24 hr access now.
*Change O. small thing. Take a walk at lunchtime, quit drinking soda, banish the vending machines at work, etc.
*Try a different approach. My aunt has had great success after reading Wheat Belly diet.
*Plan your meals and grocery shopping trips. So the tail can stop wagging the dog

Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I am not in the same boat. I'm just putting that out there at that outset because I am one of those people who is fit, but has to "work" at it to maintain a healthy weight.

1. It's not "our generation" of processed foods... it's our generation of "instant gratification". If it doesn't happen quickly, why bother? Well... healthy weight loss doesn't happen quickly. It happens slowly and with it comes substantial lifestyle changes.

2. You don't need to drop 140 pounds in the next 6 months to stay alive, right? I bet if you lost 2 pounds per week... you would feel great in 6 months and amazing in 12! You would be 50 pounds (at minimum) lighter and be on your way to "normal" weight.

3. MOVE! I worked for several years as a personal trainer and the best advice I can give you is to MOVE. Take a 10 minute walk during your lunch every single day and take another 15 minute walk at night- you can take your kids with you in a stroller. That's 25-30 minutes of exercise each day.

4. Consult a nutritionist. You can do this through your primary care physician and most insurance carriers will cover it if you are considered morbidly obese. My aunt has always been very heavy (obese, but not morbidly so) and her doctor referred her to a nutritionist. What she discovered is that while she ate generally healthy foods... she was eating "too much" (portion size) and imbalanced (fruit isn't as good for you as you think). You will be genuinely surprised by a nutritionist's analysis. I know I was when I had one done a few years ago.

5. Set small and achievable (short term goals) that have NOTHING to do with pounds. Your goal for week 1: 20 minutes of exercise 4 days out of 7 (example).

6. Keep track of it visually on a chart or a phone app. Track your exercise, calorie intake, weight...whatever... but hold yourself accountable. I love "My Fitness Pal". It's free and easy to use.

After my second child I didn't drop the weight as quickly. Three months after she was born, I was at 146 pounds, which was 20 pounds more than I weighed when I got pregnant. A year later I am at 112 doing exactly what I outlined above. It didn't happen quickly, but it did happen.

Good luck and GET UP AND MOVING!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

I only have one little bitty piece of advice:


At work, during every break. Walk up and down the hallways, or around the building if it's nice. Get a pedometer and try to walk X,000 steps every day (a friend of mine walks 70,000 steps per week).

Walking is exceptionally awesome low impact exercise. And you'll see the pounds fall away. :-)


4 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

Good morning... I have struggled with my body image for years.. I don't say weight because I think it's been less about that and more about how I perceive myself.. When I was thin (I didn't think I was thin) and now, since being heavier... Some days, I feel ok being a size 10-12 and other days, I think.. oh you still could lose a little... (this according to the doctor's chart)

That said.. I now attend OA.. While some think OA is a weight loss program,I am here to tell you, it's less about losing weight and more about the mind, body and spiritual connection.. (spiritual as each individual defines it for themselves)

anyway, I would invite you to check out the OA website.. they have a list of questions on there you can answer to see IF OA is right for you..

if it is, then they have meetings ALL over town.. even online if you can't get out too much... Why not give it a try... you ll come to realize Y., that you aren't alone.. there are MANY people in OA who have lost 100s of lbs.. who have busy lives, kids, work... etc etc.. and they are working a program that when they work it, it works :)

I did traditional talk therapy as well and it was just ok.... with OA, you learn actual tools that can help you... it's not like the therapist which is " tell me your problems" and then go and live the next 23 hrs in a positive fashion..

With OA, you learn good working tools and gain resources that can help you achieve more than your weight goals... since joining back In Mid Oct, I am down ten pounds... Now, that might not seem like much to some.. but I haven't been rushing matters... I've needed to delve into things and have decided that as my mind changes so does my body.. I only have about 15 more to lose... but I just take it one day at a time...

Y., I hear your struggle and can relate... You've done what might be the hardest... which is.. admitting there is a problem... I invite you to at least review OA... It's free and hey, if you hate it, then you are NEVER obligated to go.... no sign up fees.. no nothing..

what do you have to lose..

whatever you decide, I wish you all the best..

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

Start slow. Like another poster said, just start moving. I do think genetics plays a lot into it, but that psychologist sounds like a dumb*ss.

Get a fitbit. Seriously. I am fortunate that I dont struggle much with weight but I am seriously addicted to my fitbit. The one l have tracks how many steps you take a day, flights of stairs climbed, how far you have traveled and calories burned. (the calories are not going to include any weight training etc, but it will track how many calories burned by how many steps you have taken and just breathing.) You better believe that I am more motivated to walk around more so I can reach my daily 10,000 steps a day goal. It even links you up to a website where you can track your daily progress and you can log food if you want.

Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Clean your house...I find it to be the best exercise. Vacuum, scub tiles, dust and the like.
When you are home and you feel like eating "just because", go clean a toilet. It is very rewarding to see the fruit of your efforts.
When you are at work and you feel like eating "just because", go get a glass of water, go pee, repeat.
Good Luck, at the very least, your house will look awesome and it doen't cost a thing!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Y., I can say that you are a beautiful and courageous woman for writing this. Have you been to your doctor and gotten a full health work-up? Please do this first, to make sure you don't have a thyroid, metabolism, or some other physical imbalance that is in your way. Thyroid issues can screw up your weight AND make you very tired. Make sure that your body is healthy first. Then ask your doctor to recommend someone who can help you change your life slowly and healthily. Maybe a boot camp would work - but that's not my thing either.

In the meantime, change 1 thing - just one. Find the easiest thing and do that. I started putting 1/4 diet into my regular soda. It's minor, but better than nothing. Diet soda will not help because your brain thinks it's sweet and reacts accordingly, but if I'm going to drink fountain soda, I'm going to tweak the calories to keep the flavor.

ZUMBA is GREAT - it is an exercise I look forward to all the time. You can go at your own speed and bouncyness (LOL). I go to the YMCA where the childcare is free. BUT if you search Youtube, I found a lady - zumba by davida and I will do her workout clips on the weekend when they don't have classes. The women in my classes are all sizes, and even one of the teachers is a full figured gal, but she can MOVE and it's working for her. Some weight training when you get going also helps because muscle burns more calories than fat. So if you can build up your muscle a bit, your body will start helping you burn calories as you exercise.

That counselor was not a doctor and was an idiot. Find another counselor in case there is an issue contributing to the weight - sometimes weight is a way of hiding our true selves. When we get shut down too much as kids, we can give up and hide. I did it in books.

Baby steps, dear. One thing at a time. Get some help and make it fun for yourself.


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answers from New York on

Hi there!

First - I think you have a great foundation to work from because you're so positive about the rest of your life. You're probably ahead of the curve and set up for more success than most.

I'm not in your position, but I have a very good friend who is and he has been working on being healthier for exactly one year today. He has a lot of weight to lose, but he's decided not to approach it as a weight-loss mission, he's going for overall better health. He has lost a lot of weight in the past year, and the great thing was that he didn't let himself get discouraged when he hit plateaus or beat himself up if he didn't eat "perfectly"; he knew every decision he was making was contributing to him getting "healthier", not "perfect".

The thing he did that made the biggest impact on his ability to change his old habits and form new ones was to TELL everyone in his life about his journey. He requested support. If plans were made to go out to eat with friends, they chose non-fast-food restaurants. He posts workout plans on facebook (even just little stuff, walks around the neighborhood, etc), and friends encourage him, ask how it went, and often offer to join him. He and his girlfriend started using Sundays to grocery shop and then cook/assemble food for the week (even if you don't cook complete meals, even just having a big container of steamed veggies in the fridge that you can pull from all week can help. Season as you go).

Now that the weather is getting nicer, can you gather the whole family and go for a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood after dinner every evening? That way you're not taking away from family time and you still get some exercise. Walking is a great time for talking and connecting.

Good luck - no step is too small when you're going in the right direction!

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answers from Tampa on

First you don't have to exercise 6 hrs a day to reach your goal. I lost 90pounds in about a year, all I did was eat healthy and go to the gym 1 1/2 hrs a day. Which was 45 mins of cardio and the rest weights/resistance training. My friend has lost a total of 135 pounds in just over 2 years following the same principal. Good luck I know how hard the journey is.

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answers from Houston on

I am on weight watchers and have lost 22lbs so far :). I have 3 boys 5 and under and I homeschool the oldest two, it's nuts. My house is messy quite often and I am definitely not the most organized person. I hav had a ton of things happen lately and the weight loss is slower than I want, but hey, it is coming off! I set super small goals like 5lbs at a time and if I go off points, I forgive myself and start again, it isn't all or nothing, it's do the best you can. If it takes two years, so what, I will then be skinny for the rest of my life. I also use an exercise program called T-Tapp, it rocks, google it. Really fat people use it with awesome results, 15 minutes a day girl, so do-able! I still have about 90lbs to go but I feel so good about myself because I am trying to fix it. I just worry about how I can be successful today. The T-Tapp approach also has an eating program tha is a non diet approach, so you can check that out as well. I just use weigh watchers bc I like a diet approach, cuz I have to think less! The workout is great bc there is no jumping etc, but it is HARD!!!! It's like Pilates on steroids. Good luck! You can do it! Why not set a small goal for today in honor of your choice to change your life? Are you a soda head, drink only water today, are you a sugar nut, no more sugar just today. You can change it just takes a plan, perseverance, forgetting the desire to be perfect and TIME!!! Good luck!!

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answers from Chicago on

My mom has a thyroid problem and is lossing weight. She is doing a what is a life style change.. Weight Watchers. Mostly what works is the tracking, sometimes you do not realize what you are putting in your mouth.

I don;t know how you eat, but any time I am on WW or something like that excercise is not what takes my weight off it is the food and tracking what I am eating.

My Latest experience with losing wieght came when I put my son on a Gluten free diet. I lost weight with out trying.. For me Gluten was a bad thing, and I did not even know it. While I have glutend foods here and there, I mostly stay with GF foods. it is making a big differnce.

You can do what ever you put your mind to.. Shop the permiter of the store.. Fuit, veggies and meat. keep it fresh, stop with the fast convience foods.

FYI I make my own convience foods.. I use the weekend to cook and prep for the week. You can easily make foods, freeze them and then cook. I have two kids under 5 and work full time.

Good luck

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answers from New York on

Might I recommend getting/ fostering a dog, and making it your responsibility? Dogs must be walked at least 2x a day. You can start with just down the street. The dog will want more, and they are hard to refuse. It can be a family activity, and with an average 8-12 year lifespan, et viola, an exercise program with built in positive reinforcement.

As for the food choices, can you start making changes each time you grocery shop? Sounds like you want minimally processed foods for your kids, eat the same yourself. When there are no oreos in the house, and your treat is another hunk of melon, I imagine everyone is a winner.

Also, to re-tool your diet/ reduce your calorie consumption, try the "eat half/ eat more" diet strategy. You split all of your regular meals in half, and precede each with a cup of water and a cup of something healthy/ low cal.

Your ordinary food day looks like this-
bowl of cereal and a short stack of pancakes, orange juice and coffee for breakfast.
a big mac, fries and a large soda for lunch
steak, potato and cheesy brocolli for dinner and apple pie for dessert.

Your eat 1/2 eat more food day would look like this-
a glass of water, two clementines a half bowl of cereal, half stack of pancakes, half galss of ok and half a cup of coffee for breakfast. an hour to an hour and a half later, you would then drink a glass of water, have a handful of almonds, and eat as much of the remaining 1/2 breakfast as you can manage.
for lunch, its a glass of water, something healthy and low cal like a cup of raw spinach, then 1/2 of your big mac etc.
wait an hour or an hour and a half and then drink a glass of water, a bunch of baby carrots, and as much of the remaining 1/2 lunch as you can manage.
the same holds true for dinner and so on.

This works by introducing healthy foods. Not creating a sense of deprivation, and by promoting gradual change and increased water consumption. At the end of the day, however, calories are calories, so you must make sure that you are actually introducing healthy, low cal options in the eat more arena; that you are not unwittingly increasing your portion size in the eat half arena; and that you are slowly eating less of the old foods as you get sated on the new ones.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

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answers from Norfolk on

Exercise is good for you in SO many ways - it helps your circulation, it helps your muscle tone, you burn cholesterol, you breathe better, you have more energy, etc.

It totally sucks for losing weight.

It has a tendency to stimulate your appetite - and people over compensate for that little bit of hunger, end up eating way more calories than they burnt off - and then they are mystified when the scale goes up.
Exercise has never helped me weight wise.

What HAS helped me is seeing my doctor and following his instructions.
My first appointment was beginning of December and as of right now I am down 40+ lbs.
I see my Dr every month.
He said to use a food diary (there are lot's of free ones online - Spark People, My Fitness Pal, etc) and count calories for everything that goes into my mouth, do not go over 1200 calories per day (and don't go very much under that either), drink at least eight 8 oz glasses of water per day, and he put me on Adipex (it's just a brand name of phentermine).
So far I've been losing 10 lbs per month.
Walking is encouraged - and I walk for 30 min about 3 times per week.
I've got a ways to go, but I've made some good progress.
I can eat ANYTHING I want - just as long as I don't go over my 1200 calories per day.
I take a daily multivitamin.
I have an occasional hamburger, I've even have a piece of pie once in awhile.
The way I LIKE coffee is way too many calories to have on a daily basis, but I do have it once every few weeks and drink unsweetened tea the rest of the time.
See your doctor and see what they say.
10 lbs a month is only 2.5 lbs per week, but it adds up over time and losing it slowly is the safe and sustainable way to do it.

I considered asking about some of the new weight loss drugs.
REALLY read up on the possible side affects.
I KNOW how I react to phentermine (very well) but the topamax side effects just scared me.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

Krista P. has given awesome advice.

The big thing is just getting started. Don't make dramatic changes, just small ones to get yourself going and motivated.

Go for a walk during your lunch break and work up from there.

I did Weight Watchers several years ago and what I learned is that you shouldn't have to give up any foods entirely and progress should be slow and steady. If you go way off the deep end (e.g. not eating a favorite food anymore or drinking smoothies as meals) you're going to be doomed to failure.

You can do this!

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answers from Chicago on

Hi Y., I will be watching this post to see your responses. I am in exactly the same boat and am looking for a way to make real changes in my lifestyle as well. I beat myself up, go on a diet for a couple of days, then too easily let myself slip back into my old ways. Then I beat myself up again and start the whole process over again. I need consistency! I don't know why I can't figure out how to stay on track.

Best wishes!

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answers from Colorado Springs on

Talk to your doctor. Get a thorough examination. Get a recommendation from him/her about what person or group is good in your area to help you with your lifestyle change.

A longtime friend of mine has consulted closely with her doctor, has developed an eating plan, has joined a gym, and goes to T.O.P.S, which is a support group rather than a diet plan. In four years she has lost... well, a whole person. She's older than you are and has always, always been obese. She has lost more than half her starting weight, feels like a new person with lots of energy, and plans to maintain this style of living for another fifty years or longer.

The challenge is in the head, as you know. It's not a quick fix - a diet to lose so many pounds and turn into Miss America. There's no instant gratification, although there are little changes you notice every few weeks. It's a life change.

Here's the first thing to do, and it's easier said than done, but I know it's essential because I've had to do it. Quit hiding behind excuses. Make them no more. None. Nada. You were disappointed with the counselor. So what? Forget the genetics, the stress of life, the to-do list, the other stuff. No excuses. Forever.

I started taking my health seriously about ten years ago. I love to work out - once I'm there. I still have to MAKE myself go exercise. I can think of all sorts of reasons not to! But then, I have the same problem getting up in the morning, and I have a set, no-brainer routine so that I'll do it without having to think about it! I have to do the same thing with the exercise.

Don't follow your heart; that is, don't let your feelings dictate what to do and what not to do. Feelings change by the minute, as you can well attest. If your child were diagnosed with diabetes, would you let him/her decide what to do about it based on emotion? If you yourself were diagnosed with diabetes, you would have no choice about changing your habits and your attitudes - unless you wanted to, well, die. Just beat the diabetes to it. Why should you NEED to wait until disaster strikes? Do it now. No excuses. No emotions.

(The people on that TV show - you know which one - exercise six hours a day to lose their weight. Real people can get healthy without working at a gym six hours a day. You just won't lose 100 pounds in twelve weeks, that's all. Don't let misinformation make you give up.)

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answers from Dallas on

I am in the exact same boat except I am already at the high blood pressure & pre-diabetes stage. The bad part is I do great with a nutritionist and have done good with WW in the past. But I either can't afford to continue or get off track and gain some weight and am embarrassed to go back. Then I gain it all back plus some. I am at the heaviest I have ever been and I hate it ! I have decided though to do at the other posters have recommended - walk 30 min a day at least 3 days a week, drink my water, and count calories. I think the calories are going to be a huge part of it. BTW - I am the same age as you and it is so much harder now that before ! I'll be interested to see what anyone else says. Good luck on your journey & keep me updated on how you are doing.

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answers from Minneapolis on

So it wasn't 75-100 pounds, but I had to change my diet and lifestyle about 8 years ago for a health condition and lost 15 pounds. I agree with the others--start slowly by walking. Walk whenever and however much you can. Don't think of it as a diet; think of it as a lifestyle change. Make small changes in your diet--it can make a huge difference. Don't deprive yourself of everything all at once. Finally, change takes time to get used to. I've heard it takes at least three weeks of regularly doing something to make it a new habit. So don't give up. Change takes time.

I had to significantly cut the fat in my diet, but I had to do it without significantly increasing fiber, which is challenging. Here are some small changes I've made that have stuck--I always use light or reduced fat condiments such as mayonnaise and peanut butter (although be careful and read lablels because sometimes "reduced fat" can mean "increased sugar"). Most times I skip the mayo altogether and substitute mustard or plain yogurt. I read labels for fat grams. For awhile I avoided all fried foods and actually lost my taste for them. I found that greasy fried foods left a horrible aftertaste and residue in my mouth if I wasn't used to it. I cut back on red meat and eat it only a few times per week. I love pizza, but instead of pepperoni now I get spinach or mushroom and olive pizza. I have frozen, low fat yogurt when I'm craving ice cream. I get either meat OR cheese in a sandwich, but rarely both. Reduced fat cheeses work in some recipes and in tacos, etc. I love french fries, but I can make my own healthier version in the oven by roasting thinly sliced potatoes in a little olive oil. Even my kids love those now.

I had tried "dieting" too to lose my "baby weight," but it was only when a health crisis required me to make a "lifestyle change" that I was successful. Good luck!

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answers from Boca Raton on

Well, I agree with the psychologist that it sounds genetic for you - but I disagree with her conclusion (just get used to it).

I have a theory that some genetic profiles have difficulty detoxing and/or absorbing the nutrients that are consumed. Therefore the body is driven to satisfy what is actually a physical desire/need by continuing to eat. As you said, you are able to make progress in other areas of your life when you see the need to do so. But how can you make progress with your body when it's not getting what it needs to function optimally? It's like expecting a car to run well with very little oil.

If I were you I'd get with a really good integrative physician and do a complete physical work-up. What is your vitamin status? Do you have an MTHFR mutation? What is your homocysteine? Lipids? Do you have markers for inflammation?

It's not fun to be overweight and you are right to want to work on this.

I also think people eat to fulfill neurotransmitter dysfunction in their brains (serotonin being one).

Just a thought. And it could be completely behavioral. But I would want to know what is going on with me physically.

ETA: I also agree with walking. Get a pedometer and try to get 10,000 steps a day (provided your physican approves with that level of exercise).

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answers from Louisville on

Me too! Part of my problem is not knowing how to cook & being vegetarian.

I dropped 40 lbs before my wedding so I know I can do it - I did weight watchers. But the progress is so slow that I feel discouraged before even starting.

At my next physical, I'm going to ask my doctor for that new weight loss drug (combo of topamax & phentermine) to get me jump started. Hopefully some early success will help me keep going.

Good luck!

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answers from Norfolk on

Hi, Y.:

Have you thought about the Overeaters Anonymous support group?

check the web for one in your area.

Good luck.



answers from Washington DC on

First off, good for you for posting this question, that really shows that you sincerely WANT to make a change, and I applaud you. What about finding the right type of support system? Forget the therapist, there are good ones and bad ones, and unfortunately, you ran into a bad one. I have a friend that had a goal just like yours, and she started with small little goals to slowly get to the big goal (plan for a year, set goals by month). Walking at lunch time (my office has "walking groups," perhaps so does yours?) is a good idea. Walk to work if you can. Next, join a group like Weight Watchers (I suggest going this route rather than finding another therapist). They often have meetings once or twice a month during lunch time in many office locations, so you can go and meet people that are looking to make a change just like you. Go on walks with your kids after daycare, thats a great way to spend time with them, dont stay at home, go excercise with them, itll benefit you in many ways - they will burn some energy and you will burn some calories!! Also, there are easy ways to make healthy meals, treat yourself to a healthy cook book, and clean out the kitchen, throw out all the processed and unhealthy junk. If you lose steam, think about your children. Thankfully, it sounds like they are not at an unhealthy weight, but you are their role model, and they are learning how to eat and how to approach life from you. Show them to eat healthy, show them to love the outdoors and show them that exercise is important. Most importantly, show them that hard work pays off!!!! Set some short goals and every time you accomplish one, celebrate by going out for yogurt as a treat!!! Also, make it a FAMILY/TEAM effort - have the entire family start eating healthy, it doesnt help when mom is eating apples and dad breaks out with a piece of chocolate cake, Ive been there and it makes it harder!! Dont forget to change your lunch habits, go get a salad or sandwich instead of chinnese (thats how my sister gained 30 pounds!) Good luck!!



answers from Richmond on

I just want to tell you that I feel your pain and I completely understand! I could have written this post - our circumstances are almost exactly the same! I'm not morbidly obese but I am obese. I have great restraint when it comes to finances, housework, parenting, relationships, work, etc. just like you said but put some chocolate in front of me and I can't resist. And once I get going with exercise, I'm okay but cannot seem to fight the inertia and ambivalence towards it just like you said. I don't have any sage advice for you but I hope you understand that food addiction is very real, you are not alone, that counselor was a freaking idiot (FORGET what she said!!!), there can be a genetic component but it's not that simple and you are WONDERFUL no matter what! I wish we lived closer, maybe we could motivate one another.



answers from Charlottesville on

You are not alone!!!! I am right there with you. I need to lose about 75 pounds to hit the top magic number on the doctor's charts, but would be happy to just lose 20-30 pounds and keep it off for more than a short while. Part of my problem is genetic, but it only means I should work harder, not give up the battle. I have found certain things help. Eating breakfast within the first hour of waking up - just coffee doesn't count as breakfast; eating more protein and fewer processed carbohydrates - fresh fruits and vegetables are okay; and just moving more. When I actually do these things, I start to slowly lose weight, when I stop doing them, I gain weight. Keeping a food diary has helped - if I have to write down that I ate candy, chips, etc. I am less likely to eat it that day. If I could stick to doing all of this, I would be closer to where I want to be in less than a year. However, I am a stress eater, and as a human being it seems that I am always stressed out.
Anyway, you are not alone!!!



answers from San Antonio on

I used Spark People...a free on-line site that allowed me to track what I was eating...there were so many calories to have each day to lose the amount of weight I wanted about 1 to 1.5 pounds a week...and to track my exercise, and to track the amount of water I drank each day.

There was no guilt because if you had a bad day or days you could just keep on going...if you had a good one it was okay too.

I had extra help because my husband got a new job and wasn't home until around I took the kids and went to the gym four nights a week from 6 to 8pm. Hour of cardio and hour of either yoga or pilates...

BUT I wasn't working full that also made it easier...

Now I just maintain the weight I am...but I should get back into gym dropped the childcare and so it was hard to go...

Just start tracking calories and go from there...knowing I was going to write them down did help me make some better choices...

HUGS to you!!



answers from Kalamazoo on

I read the book 'Master Your Metabolism' by Jillian Michaels, after my second pregnancy. I had been on bed rest and unable to keep moving during my last 3 months of pregnancy. I usually eat well and am fit, but that pregnancy left me almost 50 lbs overweight, with little muscle tone and unmotivated. The book had a lot of great information, which recharged my motivation to eat well and take care of myself. You sound motivated to make a change. I found that book to be an easy to follow 'how-to', and the weight came off, slowly and steadily.

Good luck on your journey!



answers from Washington DC on

First of all, congratulations for wanting to change your health! I'm trying to get back into shape after baby #2, and I've had really good results with Weight Watchers and joining the gym by my office. With Weight Watchers, you can make healthy changes to your diet and since you have to write everything down that you eat, it really makes you wonder how much you want that cookie, chocolate, ice cream, etc. (and I have a huge sweet tooth)! I also pack my lunch and snacks from home. The biggest change has been going to the gym every day at lunch for an hour. It's a bummer to have to eat alone at my desk afterwards, but I feel great getting my exercise out of the way. I was trying to do it at home after the kids are in bed, but by then I was usually too tired and had too many chores to do. I've noticed after just a few weeks I have much better energy and feel much stronger already.
Best of luck to you!

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