So Frustrated with Doctors!

Don't know if you want the drive, but The Children's Clinic rocks! I go to the one in Tualatin, but there is one in Portland. I just don't know anything about it. But Dr. Canon will sit in that room with you until every question - whether it's about how much TV she thinks is too much, potty training or a red welt behind the ear - is asked. Love love love her!

Try Dr. Kara Kassay at the Lake Oswegeo Medical and Dental Clnic. She owns her own practice and has been my family doctor for 6 years. She sees both of my kids as well and will always take the time to answer any question you have. Will give you alternatives, and respond to questions or suggestions about home rememdies and is not always quick to medicate. I have a wonderful relationship with her and her medical assistant. I live in Beaverton and GLADLY travel to Lake O to see her!
Good luck
her web site
http://www.karakassay.com/

"I'm about ready to give up on western medicine altogether, get our shots at the health dept. and pay out of pocket to see a naturopath."

This is what I did. ABSOLUTELY worth it.

I see Dr. Dan Sisco at Alameda Clinic. This man takes HUGE amounts of time, it blew my MIND after all the MDs ... and I left my MD of 10-ish years ... my MD was a very caring, intelligent man, who knew my entire family, but the financial realities of MD offices make more than 10 minutes simply terribly rare. (I also at the time worked with a health insurer, so I knew exactly how impossible was the battle to get more time. I did it anyhow, but I knew why I could see the doctors mentally counting every second once we got past 10 minutes.)

If you stick with MDs/nurses and don't immediately find a good fit (I'm glad to see the recommendation below), DEMAND time: bring a list of questions written out so that you can say "I'm not finished yet " and point to them. Start the appointment with "I have several questions I need to have answered before I leave." And if they aren't answering them (that nurse! Benadryl?!?!), tell them to their face: "What other ideas do you have? Who here in the office can I talk to who can help me with this problem?"

And naturopaths and acupuncturists and etc can be just as ridiculous. Although, most of them will at least allow a 10-minute "hello" session for free (last time I was looking at MDs they charged $50 for this), so you can get an initial hit on whether you might like them and whether they will really listen to you. But I once went to an Chinese-from-China acupuncturist who was more patriarchal and less listening than any MD I ever saw ...

[and it just occurred to me, reading your request, that naturopathy (and chiropractic and homeopathy) is a western medicine, actually, it has just been demonized by the allopathic medical establishment ;).]

Best of luck, follow your instincts, make sure you have supportive care for your family, you deserve not to have to fight for care. Noone should have to fight for care.

I work in a doctors office so I want to give you some hints to make things work from our perspective.

-Doctors' schedules are incredibly tight especially at pediatricians' offices because they add on sick kids throughout the day. In order to stay on time so people don't get grumpy about waiting they have to get in and out in the time frame allowed on the schedule - usually 15 minutes. That being said, when you schedule your appointment let them know you have numerous questions you wish to discuss with the physician so they schedule accordingly.
-Write down all of your questions and give a copy to the nurse or MA on arrival so the doctor can review them before coming into the exam room, he then can bring with him any printed information he feels would help.
-If you aren't interested in medicating your child, start your questions with, "I am looking for a way to deal with _____ problem without medication". Doctors see patients with very differing views and opinions about medications, if you let them know your goals about reaching a good outcome for you then they can tailor their responses to your needs.
-The cost of a 10 minute visit does seem incredibly high. However, the cost goes to pay the staff, the office rental fees, the equiment costs, etc. There were at least 4-5 staff members who had a part in the planning for your child's visit. There is a large amount of prep work that goes into each visit.

From this Mama's perspective. I have a wonderful son and we love our pediatrician Dr deRenne who is at Evergreen peds in Vancouver. During routine visits he asks the routine questions about my son's health and offers printed information about the upcoming stages my son will go through and at the end he spends time answering my questions. We also love his nurse Melissa who takes our calls in between visits. I would encourage you to try sticking with one physician for more than one visit at a time, go at least 3 visits before making a change. It does take time to get to know each other and it is good to have a physician that really knows your child.

Take your questions about feeding, sleeping, etc. to your local lactation support group or other moms group. Save the doctor visits for when your kid is sick. I have a great pediatritian at East Portland Pediatrics by Adventist. I also know of another one in Albany, Dr. Nancy Daugherty. These doctors will take as much time as you need with them. But I get the most help and support from other moms in the groups I attend. Moms know the most!

I also second Dr. Pritchard. We switched to her after a less than satisfactory experience with our first pediatrician and have been happy ever since. Like another responder, I found my initial support through other moms' groups-- the one through the hospital was invaluable and had an online support as well. I found I could post something at 2 in the morning when I had been up much of the night with a sick child and I would get some great responses and suggestions in very little time. Books from Dr. Sears were also very helpful especially the one about babies. Man, this mama stuff isn't easy!

Best of luck to you. Go with your gut and you will do well.

Hi N.,

I too got frustrated with the medical community and switched my daughter around until I found our current Pediatrican. We have Dr. Monique Pritchard at Sellwood Medical Clinic on SE 13th. I know lots of mammas who have recommended her and so we switched and have been happy ever since. She is medically trained as well has holistically. Sometimes she does kind of railroad over me a bit with information, but a friend of mine, who takes her daughters to she Dr. Pritchard, just asked that a note be put in her girls files that the Dr take the time to ask mom if she has any questions at the end of the Dr schpeel. That worked well for my friend and the Dr. Just a bit of information. Hope this helps. I know you weren't exactly looking for advise but I thought I would respond anyway. Take care!

J.

Hi,

I can sympathize with your situation. I did feel like we had a nice pediatrician before we stopped seeing them, but again--attitude at from the office, they are always late, we see the doctor for 5-10 minutes, and I swear her nurse didn't like us. The last visit was a horrible one and I looked for pediatric naturopaths as a viable option. We ended up going to Bloom Natural Healthcare and it was fabulous. They have now moved from the original location, but the experience is always wonderful. My daughter actually thinks it's fun to go to the doctor. The first time we visited her, she spent an hour with my daughter and subsequent visits have lasted 30-45 min. She always listens to my concerns and gives a lot of great advice and suggestions. We only go about once a year, but it is always a great experience and well worth the $120 we pay out of pocket.

I also highly recommend Dr. Jared Zeff in Vancouver, who is my doctor, but also sees a lot of kids and has seen my daughter 2x. Also invaluble for the amount we pay out of pocket. He is amazing for health concerns you might feel that are immediately pressing, in addition to general stuff.

We see Dr. Beverly Wittkopp at The Children's Clinic in the Peterkort building at Providence St. Vincent. She's nearing retirement, so I don't know if she's taking new patients, but she and all of the other docs there are fabulous!!! I've never felt rushed out the door, and she always takes the time to answer my questions, typically asks if I have any other questions at the end of a visit, and gave me a lot of guidance (with specific details) on the types of issues that you're looking for help with. They also do a good job of appt scheduling, and unless you're "squeezing in" as a last minute appt., I've rarely had to wait more than 10-15 minutes in the waiting room. Typically, they're right on time. I only mention this because waiting for the doctor has always been my pet peeve :)

Good luck, just know that there ARE some fabulous doctors out there who love their job working with our precious kiddos :)

I'm pretty happy with Dr. Karen Lickteig at Metropolitan Pediatrics in NW. Never feel rushed even for routine visits. The last time I was there for both my daughters' checkups and I swear we were there over an hour with her. Good luck, I know how frustrating that experience can be.

You have lots of good advice and perspective already, and I'll throw in one more. I am also the type of mom that expects a doctor to be available and be happily willing to speak to me and not rush an appointment. In fact, I expect doctors to be available on the phone at off hours as well. My daughter is also healthy, but there are just so many things we want to discuss. So, I interviewed quite a few peds before selecting mine: Her name is Dr Gopal and she's with Pediatric Associates of the Northwest (two locations look at www.portlandpediatric.com). Not only does she clearly care and make the time, but her practice supports that philosophy as well. My daughter was running a 103.8 fever over Thanksgiving when I was in California, and the doctor on call called me within 30 minutes and was clearly available to speak with me - no rush.

All that aside - like the other moms said, mom groups and the web are great resources, but I don't always feel confident relying on those sources for any medical advice (of course it is great for all other mothering topics), so I also have a great reference book that you may wish to add to your library; THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL GUIDE TO YOUR CHILD'S HEALTH AND DEVELOPMENT (by the Boston Children's Hospital). Absolutely great. In addition to all the developmental and parenting info, what I really like about it is that it has an alphabetic section on childhoold illnesses and injuries as well as an emergency section (how to prepare for and handle)- the book outlines essential facts, signs and symptoms, when to call a doctor, causes, what you can do, and prevention. It's just a great resource.

We've used Providence pediatricians for our two boys over the last three years. Currently we see Dr. Sweeney at the Providence Sherwood offices and have always felt great about our visits. He takes the time to answer any questions goes through the milestone calendar and even prints off the latest growth chart, milestone chart, and any literature we ask for. I have also heard great things about the Children's Clinic from other parents.

Personally, I've found that speaking with other moms is a lot easier then waiting till our next appointment to speak with the ped. But of course there are a lot of differences in opinions on things like sleeping issues, feeding etc. The biggest thing is that every child is different and so what works for one won't always work for another. But having the support of other moms and getting ideas about what worked or didn't for them can help you to find what will work for your daughter. Try looking into a moms group.

As for the Benadryl advice from the nurse, I would say that was out of line. Unless, really needed you shouldn't ever have to "drug" your child. Especially since she is so young.

Hi N.,
You've gotten some fantastic advice already but I wanted to throw in one more little bit. Seems a lot of these questions can be answered by other means than an MD. My daughter's pedi seems to have one opinion on these things and won't budge. So I went to other sources to find information about what is appropriate/normal and advice. For example - at the 6 month well-baby check up the Pediatrician said basically to let her cry it out to sleep ("extinguish" is what she called it. How terrible of a name is that?) and that night feedings were not essential. I knew that for MY baby these things were not right, yet she not only didn't offer any other solution she was long gone before I could even ask. So I sought more information from parenting/breastfeeding/baby sites online. One particular one that I love is kellymom.com. It has provided valuable info for me and the online forums put me in contact with moms and professionals (lactation consultants, etc.) who are there to answer any questions and provide support.

Good luck. You are doing a great job, mom!
A.

I don't like dealing with doctors. I know everyone loves Dr. Prichard, when I called she wasn't accepting new patients. We went with Dr. Barry Davis in Clackamas. He's doesn't rush visits, but I haven't trusted doctors to answer questions about breastfeeding, solids, sleep etc...

I think the best way to find out about that stuff is in a mom's group, Dr. Sears, La Leche League or Nursing Mothers Counsel or Oregon. I have heard of lots of weird advice from doctors. Also these groups all have websites which are very informative too.

I've been going to doctors for 66 years. I took my daughter to doctors and now I'm the one who takes the grandkids. What makes this work is to find one doctor with whom you feel comfortable, even tho he doesn't answer your questions, and stay with that one. Over time you will develop a more personal relationship with the dr and he will understand that he needs to make time for your questions.

When I had BC/BS my primary doctor was the first one I saw at the Broadway Clinic. He has always answered my questions and is willing to say "I don't know but I'll look it up." I learned to write down my questions. HIs MA took the list from me and gave them to the doctor before he saw me. That went really well.

If I had a specific question about one topic I could call the nurse who would either answer the question or refer me to the dr who would then talk with me on the phone.

It is very important to get to know your doctor and let your doctor know you and your baby. I think you'll find that the doctor will be more available for questions once you've developed that relationship.

I understand you to say you've been to 4 different doctors even tho your baby is well. As you said you pay a bunch for 10 minutes with the dr. The dr. isn't the one to ask your questions. He/she has a tight schedule that he has to adhere to so patients won't have to wait to be seen. That would be frustrating too. And he gets the big bucks. Answering questions not related to illness is an inappropriate use of his time. Unless......he knows you. Then he's more willing to spend more time.

I get my information primarily thru reading. So did my daughter when her first was born. Yes, you will see different ways of doing things. You choose which fits you and your baby.

I suggest that talking with parents plus the reading will give you more answers and be more supportive of you.

Hospitals have support groups for new mamas. Did you go to one after delivering. You could call hospitals and see if they have a group for mother's of older babies.

Also the library has story time, learning sign language, etc for mother's and their babies. You could meet other mother's who would like to get together to support one another.

I am in favor of naturopathic medicine. My daughter is going to take her daughter to a naturopatic dr for possible ADHD issues. But she will also continue check ups and routine things with her regular pediatrian because insuranc won't cover the naturopath.

Some insurance companies do cover alternative medicine such as naturopaths. I have Kaiser and it does. Perhaps you could find one that does. If your insurance is thru your husband's work and the office only contracts with one insurance company you probably can't change insurance. I've been paying for private insurance coverage and it costs around $450. Providence has some good plans. My daughter applied because she found that she would be paying less and get more service by going private. Her payment was going to be less than $300/month. However her application was declined because her daughter has asthma and my daughter takes meds to help even out her moods and to be less anxious. Pre-existing conditions make getting insurance more difficult.

Some medical offices have social workers who can answer your questions.

So....I've not been frustrated with doctors. I think it's because I've learned how to use the system. If you could relax and "go with the flow" with one doctor, I think that you'll have better success. Another component is to read up on issues that concern you. And let go of the idea that a doctor knows everything and that he should be able to do everything that you want him to do.

Do you know that as your daughter's mother you have certain "gut" feelings that will guide you in giving her care? Babies are tough. There are very few things that will "damage" her. Mothers mainly need to be able to love and nurture their baby, responding to cries, showing empathy when baby is having a difficult time. Cuddling is important. If you're connected to your baby you'll know what both of you need much of the time.

A word of warning, avoid Willamette Pediatrics all together. They were horrible for my daughter. She developed asthma at 10 months of age and it took numerous visits, videotape evidence of a nightly asthma attack, and pneumonia before they finally reluctantly agreed with me! We saw every doctor at that clinic and we have nothing good to say about any of them. I am not surprised that the nurse mentioned Benadryl as a sleeping remedy, we found all the staff to be extremely unprofessional.

We have had pleasant experiences with Dr Resk in Oregon City and Dr Kathleen Mooney in Happy Valley (Oregon Pediatrics).

Best of luck!

Our pediatrician, Dr. Joel Amundson, was with The Children's Clinic at Peterkort and left to open his own practice (Dr. Joel's Clinic) for the exact reason of being rushed, not having enough time with patients -- insurance dictating too much -- and the philosphy of preventative care versus just treating you if you're sick. Here's the link to his website where he outlines his philosophy for his clinic -- under About Us. It's on the East side but we feel it's been well worth the extra drive. http://www.drjoelsclinic.com/

I also agree that leveraging other moms is a great, great resource!