Snoring husband...keeping Me Awake

Updated on March 24, 2008
M.F. asks from Saint Paul, MN
34 answers

My husband snores terribly. And its loud. Often times I fall asleep before him but within a few hours im awake because of his snoring, or often times he falls asleep first and I cant fall asleep listening to the chain saw. He is aware of the problem, and very aware that its keeping me up. I have asked him to go to the Dr. for a sleep apnea test (which I am 100% sure he has, because he does stop breathing for short periods of time), but puts it off as Insurance won't cover it 100%. Has anyone ever had procedures done to eliminate this problem? We've tried all those gimmick things that they sell and even the breathe right strips...no luck.
I've heard of a procedure that they insert soemthing into the roof of your mouth??? Any advice or ways to rid the problem naturally would be GREATLY appreciated.

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R.B.

answers from Madison on

It won't necessarily help him - but I've found that earplugs work wonders if you're not able to sleep. I'm usually still able to hear the alarm clock or the phone ring, but they block out just enough noise so that I can sleep while he snores.

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M.H.

answers from Iowa City on

My son use to snore so much at night, he had a constant sore thoat. His doctor suggested removing his adenoids. They can obstruct nasal breathing. It worked for him.
My husband talks all night in his sleep.

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G.S.

answers from Eau Claire on

If he still has his tonsils, that would also be a reason. Allergies can play a part. My husband snores too. A different pillow can also help.

He has to be willing to make a change, whatever it is.

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C.S.

answers from Grand Forks on

You have my sympathy. I'm married to a chain saw 25years. Long story shot: his snoring was killing our marriage. He accused me of trying to "get him under the knife" so I started to sleep in another room OR have a kid sleep in our bed because the child would roll under him when he'd lay on his side and then he couldn't lay on his back and snore, choke,gasp etc. Finally, he went in for a sleep study. They woke him within 2 hours because he needed oxygen. They put him on a machine (CPAP) which I didn't mind, but it didn't fit him right and he'd rip it off at night and it'd be blowing in my face. Then, he had blurry vision and needed surgery on his eye. when he went in for his pre-op his heart had an irregulr beat and they chewed him out for not wearing the machine etc, now the eye surgery was delayed and he could
lose some vision. He wore the CPAP until he got the ok for his eye surg and hasn't worn it since. I sleep in a very quiet room upstairs, and am well rested. I'm resentful that he doesn't take care of himself and could die and leave me and our 6 children. Sleep apnea is very h*** o* a persons heart because it has to work so hard when they have apnea episodes, that may have even caused his blurry vision. I've done and said all that I can do so I just pray. Men are stubborn about listening to their wives, maybe you could have a male friend suggest he sees an ear, nose, throat doc first.

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J.O.

answers from Wausau on

That sounds just like my dad! He won't go have any tests done either.

For my mom's own sanity, she wears ear plugs.

Unfortunately, you can't really MAKE your hubby take care of his health. (You CAN of course make it more desirable for him to do so, like sleeping on the couch yourself or mentioning that if you could sleep better you'd be less crabby and more energetic and more willing to be "intimate" more often. Men sometimes don't see that they need to take care of their health to help themselves and their families, but when they realize their sex life is suffering, the light bulb finally pops on LOL).

I'd definitely get some ear plugs though- you need your rest, regardless of what hubby decides to do, especially while you're pregnant (congrats!).

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M.H.

answers from Rapid City on

I have heard of several surgical procedures, but as far as I know, none of them are a guaranteed, permanent solution. They may not work at all, and they may work at first and then the snoring returns. If you can hear him stop breathing, he probably needs a cPAP machine, which basically forces a gentle stream of air into his lungs all night long (and thus, he can't stop breathing). Other things that can help are: lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, allergy testing etc. But if it is apnea, none of those things will cure it, and it is very dangerous as it also raises blood pressure, and leaves the sufferer (not just the person who has to sleep next to him) dangerously tired (think falling asleep at the wheel). We don't even have health insurance at all, and had to pay about $2,000 out of pocket for a sleep study, and then about $800 for the machine, but our lives are so much better for it.

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A.D.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Hi! It certainly sounds like your husband has sleep apnea if he is gasping for air or if he stops breathing while he sleeps. I was diagnosed 6 yrs ago with apnea. I was the chainsaw in our bed! I have a friend that has had the pillar procedure done and has had mixed success. He says he can feel it in his soft palate. I slept with a CPAP machine for 5 years. It made a huge difference in my energy level. Before I got it I could fall asleep anytime, anywhere and often did. It took some adjustment but its important. I recently had a surgery called UPPP which stands for something almost unpronouncable. I have had awesome results from it! I would strongly encourage you to have the study done because sleep apnea when untreated can lead to High blood pressure, diabetes and stroke. In some cases it has caused such a low oxygen level in the blood it has been deadly. It sounds like a joke that you snore enough to raise the roof but it is really an alarm that should not be ignored.
Best of luck!

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

Sleep apnea is a dangerous problem. I have it and the first night with the c-pap machine was amazing. While I hate the mask and it gives me some trouble here and there at night, when i try to go without it, I have a real hard time. My daughter in law noticed that when I would cuddle and nap with my granddaughter in the recliner, I would stop breathing up to 45 seconds. That is what got me into the doctors. Since being on the machine, my blood pressure dropped down to normal, I hardly ever need a nap during the day and I don't think I snack as much on sweets, not needing to keep myself awake.

As far as your husbands insurance goes, remind him that if it was a heart problem, he wouldn't complain that the insurance wouldn't cover it all. Sleep Apnea can cause strokes and/or death. Because you have 2 nights in which you stay at the clinic, once to check if you have it, the other to see how you do with the c-pap, it does get expensive. He should check into it. Dentists can also fit him with a mouth piece which will keep the airway open. That sometimes works according to the research, but not as well as the c-paps machine. Also, maybe it isn't so much sleep apnea but a drop in oxygen in which he might need oxygen only during the night. He won't know unless he has it checked out.

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L.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

try eleavating the head of your bed with blocks, the slight incline helps reduce snoring. Hope the tip helps

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A.S.

answers from Des Moines on

Sounds like you are talking about having the uvula removed. The only other thing I know for sure that is natural for snoring relief is if he is overweight to lose weight. I know for myself when I gain weight I snore, and when I lose weight I don't. If he is overweight, which is sometimes one of the causes of sleep apnea, it might clear that up also, if that is the reason for it.

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K.G.

answers from Madison on

My knowledge of sleep apnea doesn't come from my spouse, but my father. The whole time I was growing up the my mother complained about my dad's snoring. When we would go on vacations and sleep all together in the same hotel room I couldn't sleep from the noise. My father would be sleepy during the day and we feared that he would fall asleep at the wheel when driving. He also became over weight because he ate to stay awake. About 15 years ago I heard of a man that had similar symptoms as my dad, that went to a sleep clinic and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. I made an appointment at the clinic for my dad and it changed his life. He doesn't snore, he gets a good night sleep, he doesn't have problem staying awake during the day. He sleeps with a Cpap machine. It looks a little funny, but is well worth it. Sleep apnea is a very serious condition. It take a major toll on the heart. Get your husband into a sleep clinic, it will be life changing for both of you. Good Luck.

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T.C.

answers from Lincoln on

I don't know if weight is an issue with your husband. My husband was a huge snorer, but after he lost a significant amount of weight he rarely ever snores...just a thought!

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S.S.

answers from Lincoln on

M. F!!!
Please get your hubby to the Dr. even if he doesn't want to go and insurance won't pay 100%. Ours didn't either but it was worth the co-pay to know that my hubby was now safe and sleeping so much better and myself. My hubby snored just as bad for the first 7-8 years of our marriage, it progressively got worse, until one day we were on our way to a family gathering and he dosed off while driving and crossed the center line with all of us at the time our 2 girls now 3 girls, I then took over driving and the very next day I called the DR. and told him about we didn't even need to go see our family physician he went straight to plan A and we went to see a specialist who scheduled a sleep apnea test. Within 2 weeks of having the CPAP machine he was no longer falling asleep on the couch watching tv and can go to work on only 5-6 hours if he has too, he has more energy and has since joined me in losing some of our excess weight. I STRONGLY urge you to get him to the doctor, if I hadn't gotten mine there I'm sad to say I would probably be a widow right now, because since he has confessed that he 'fell' asleep behind the wheel many times. Good luck.
S.

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N.I.

answers from Davenport on

When my husband was tested they did a preliminary test where he just had to sleep with a monitor on his finger that looked at the oxygen levels in his blood. My guess is that will be the first step.
Oh.. something my grandmother did for her snoring that might be worth a try is raising the head of the bed with some blocks or phone books. Not too high but enough to where he is not lying flat on his back.

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C.F.

answers from Sioux City on

Many times, just losing some weight will stop the snoring. Also eliminating possible food allergies.

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M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree that he needs a sleep test. Show him all the scary things that can happen to him (heart attack, falling asleep while driving, etc.). Maybe say if he loves you and the rest of his family, he would get the test so he can be healthier and around for a while. My husband had the test and got the CPAP machine. It took him awhile for him to get used to it, but now he uses it every night -- and no snoring! The funny part of this story is that I used to tell my doctor how tired I was all the time. I went on thyroid meds and other meds, but nothing seemed to help. So he sent me for a sleep test. I figured I would humor him, but I knew I didn't have sleep apnea. Hah! The test showed I had sleep apnea so bad it would probably take me more than a month to catch up on my important REM sleep. And I was comfortable with the CPAP mask right from the first night. It is soooooooo nice to get restful sleep. It has only been a few months, but I feel so much better. And since I also have Fibromyalgia, getting my rest is very important.
Mama D

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H.R.

answers from Rapid City on

You might try getting rid of the dairy and sweets in his diet. You also might try one of those sports mouth guards... one that protects both the top and bottom teeth (also make sure it has a hole in the middle between the teeth). If he has a significant overbite this might help draw his jaw away from his throat enought to clear his airway. Just some thoughts. Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Des Moines on

I hope you get an answer to your question as I have the same problem only I have been married for almost 48 years to a man that sounds like a freight train. I too have tried to get him to get checked for sleep apnea, but he says he doesn't have a problem, I do. Then put a dog in bed with you that snores also. I try to sleep before him and that helps, but what really helps is when the cat or dog has to go potty , he gets up to let them out and then he stays out on the couch or the recliner and falls asleep. Don't know if this helps any , but at least you know you aren't the only one out there with this problem. J. W

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K.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Follow the advice about going to the doctor especially since your hubby stops breathing during the night(very dangerous and scary)...my father had sleep apnea and once he had it diagnosed and started treatment (surgry and the CPAP machine) he slept better, he did not fall asleep driving (he got into a bad accident one night and was very lucky to survive) and did not have any breathing problems at night. Plus it was much quieter in the house :)

I know insurance is a pain but sometimes it is worth having to pay for this than the alternative.

Good Luck and I hope all the advice helps

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K.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

I also used to snore. I am not over weigh. 5'2 115 pounds. However I smoke. I have always had bad sinus problems. I had sinus so bad one time. Had to have surgery to get rid of the sinus. I stop smoking also. I do not snore any more. However I do keep the top part of my bed lifted. Hope this helps.

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T.G.

answers from La Crosse on

i have the same problem my advice to you is ear plugs thats the only thing that worked for me that procedure you are talking about they say its not 100% and can make it worse in some cases

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J.G.

answers from Omaha on

My father has sleep apnea and he didnt want togo to the doc either but once I printed out the symtoms for him to read and my mom talked to him about of of the things he didnt know he did. He went right away to the doc. It is a very serious thing it cant be over looked. HE has a machine now and is doing so much better. He had trouble at 1st trying to sleep with it but now he doesnt even realise he has it on anymore.
I hope you can convince your husband to go to the doc no matter wht your insurance will pay for or not its his life that is at stake.

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K.E.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

My hubby has sleep apnea. A friend of ours had an extra C-pacand loaned it to hubby. It works wonders, I can finally sleep. We do need to get him into the sleep clinic to get the machine adjusted correctly for him.
Have your husband go to the Dr. and have Dr. explain the dangers of not getting this fixed. We know a young girl whose husband died 2 years ago because he wasn't using his machine. Sleep Apnea is a very dangerous thing. Check with our insurance company and see what they will cover, especially if they recommend the test.

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D.F.

answers from Des Moines on

I too think he should be checked out to rule out sleep apena. THere is an over the counter throat spray called 'breathe right' it's usually near the nose sprays. There's a small bottle that's a spray, then there's a larger bottle of blue liquid for rinsing.....I use it to refil the spray bottle. ;-)

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H.A.

answers from Waterloo on

Have him checked out! It will be the best thing you ever did. And not just for you but for HIM too. My husband had his tonesils and adnoids removed, and had his soft pallet shortened and it was the best thing we ever did. That was 10 years ago and we've both gotten good nights sleep ever since.

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L.L.

answers from Lincoln on

Mama JF,

Tell him to get to the doctor right away! You are right he has sleep apnea. The cardiologist my son sees (and he is only 29 years old) says that snoring is associated with sleep apnea and sleep apnea can cause a heart attack. Tell your hubby his life is more important than insurance coverage.

L. :)

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

If sleep apnea is truly the problem then I don't know if there is a remedy that would help.
My husband does not have sleep apnea but sometimes snores like a freight train. I had him use a nasal spray called XClear that has Xylitol in it. It was like a miracle!!! What a relief!
I hope you find a solution! Have a great day and here's to peaceful nights!

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J.M.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

My husband went in for a sleep apnea test and was told, he didn't have it, but that a dentist could help him with his snoring. There is something that the dentist fits him for and goes in the back of the mouth. I'm not sure if it is the same thing that you mentioned or not - my husband didn't mention anything about there being a procedure to have it inserted, just something for him to put in at night time. My husband hasn't checked it out yet - he's waiting for his next appointment. I would check with your dentist and see if there is anything he can do. Good luck, I know how it is when your husband falls asleep first and you lay there listening to him!

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L.S.

answers from Wausau on

Please push your husband into taking the Sleep Apnea test. 8 years ago my husband had a Heart Attack and it damaged a 1/3 of his heart.
The Dr's. ran every test they could think of to see what cause his Heart Attack. His blood pressure was good, cholesterol was up a little.
Then we started talking about his snoring, the Dr. had him do the sleep test. We found out that he stopped breathing way to may times when he was sleeping.
The Dr. told us the sleep Apnea is what caused his Heart Attack at 38 years old.
Plus you will get a good nights sleep, I sleep so good now.
Good Luck
L.

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E.W.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi M. F,

Just re-read your post a second time and realized you are expecting another baby this year.....so, especially given that, I would URGE your husband to do something about this NOW so he (and YOU!!!) will be sleeping better by the time the baby arrives.

My husband was snoring and stopping breathing, etc. several years ago and it got so severe that he would have to fight off sleep while he was driving, sitting in meetings, etc. His energy level was just GONE because he was getting so little good sleep due to the apneas. He felt so terrible that he was willing to go through with the sleep test. So, my advice on convincing your husband is to focus on how HE is feeling, not how the obnoxious the snoring is (although obviously this is horrible too and effects you greatly). Unfortunately, men are stubborn, and at times are more likely to respond to something that is about THEM instead of you, sad but true.

My husband was quickly diagnosed with sleep apnea and put on the CPAP machine. It was amazing the difference it made in his life and how quickly too. Now here is some really GOOD news....at least for my husband, he was only on the machine for a few months and as soon as he lost some weight, the apneas were GONE!! So, another plug for WEIGHT LOSS as well.

This is an ongoing struggle at our house, I notice the snoring returning as soon as my husband puts on a few pounds, so we really have to keep an eye on it so it does not get as bad as it was before. He has not had to go back on the machine, thank goodness (it is not very comfortable and hard to get used to, etc.)

Oh, and the cost is not too bad, we paid out of pocket as well....I think it was $1200-1500 all togther. When you consider the health benefits and emotional benefits to your life and marriage, that is definitely WORTH it!!!

Good luck!
E.

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S.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I agree with the rest...he should have a sleep study done. I grew up with my mom snoring REALLY loudly and it disrupted the whole family. I traveled with her a year ago and since she was diagnosed with sleep apnia she sleeps with a machine and you can hardly hear her...just the light rumbling of the machine so I wore earplugs, but no big deal considering what she used to sound like! I'm no good on no sleep! I wish you the best!

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M.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I diagnosed my husband with sleep apnea (not really). He snored terribly and I drove me nuts and I couldn't sleep -ever! One night instead of being annoyed with him for snoring I listened to him snore. I noticed that he would stop breathing for a few seconds. It scared me so I called a nurse hot-line. They told me what I suspected-He should get checked out for sleep apnea. Symptoms are excessive daytime sleepiness (hypersomnia), loud snoring,Observed episodes of breathing cessation during sleep,abrupt awakenings accompanied by shortness of breath,awakening with a dry mouth or sore throat, morning headache and difficulty staying asleep (insomnia). He had virtually all of them. Sleep Apnea is life threatening. My husband was diagnosed and now has a machine to help him breath. He hated it at first. Now he can't sleep without it. I sleep better now. Sleeping is a dream for me. I HIGHLY recommend it for your husband's health and yours.

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D.S.

answers from Detroit on

mama jf ; i roll over and plug his nose, ahahhahahah this only works for a short period of time, ahahahha but its fun too, no answers for yah sorry, D. s

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S.C.

answers from Madison on

Hello, How I have solved this problem is by inserting ear plugs in my ears. If I fall asleep before my husband than the ear plugs deaden the sound enough to keep me asleep. Your ears will have to become accostumed to wearing them, but you will get used to it if you decide to try it.

Sincerly,
S. C.

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