Sneaking Food

Updated on October 18, 2011
J.T. asks from New Kensington, PA
26 answers

I am raising my grandchildren and my 9 year old grandson is sneaking food. The doctor has recommended watching his weight because his BMI is way too high. He doesn't want him eating so much. He eats as much as an adult - and more - if left alone. So, I fix his plate and then find granola bar wrappers, pop tart wrappers, etc. hidden everywhere. If I leave food in the kitchen some always comes up missing and when he is questioned - he says he took it. He will eat breakfast before school and then eat again at school. He eats lunch, gets a snack when he gets home, eats dinner and gets dessert. I just don't know what to do. He seems to defy me everytime I tell him not to do it.
I really don't know what to do.

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So What Happened?

I thank you all for your answers. The poptarts, etc are NOT in our house - we think they come from school or friends. He plays soccer so he does get exercise. He is having emotional problems. He is being seen by a therapist as well as his pediatrician. We just keep praying that he will work things out with our help.

Thanks again.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Could there be an emotional reason for his eating? Trama or instability in his life could have him comfort eating. His pedi should be able to make a theripist referal if that might be the case.

6 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Orlando on

I know exacly how you feel! My little guy is only 5 and weighs about 68 pounds, WAY over a child his age should be. So What kinds of snacks is he getting? I would suggest keeping fruits and veggies only in the house for snacks, or if he wants something sweet those chocolate rice cakes are pretty good. I definatly would get rid of the pop tarts. And have him drink lots of water before eating so he will feel full. I have also made it a habit to go for walks with my son after dinner just as some last min exercise before bed.

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

Maybe you could keep a supply of healthy snacks, that he can eat when he wants. Things like fruits and veggies would be ideal.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suggest he has an emotional issue surrounding food. I urge you to have him evaluated by a child psychologist who can then help you deal with the issue. This is a form of an eating disorder.

6 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

People will often mistake thirst for hunger and over eat. How much water does your grandson drink? Not juice, soda, energy drinks etc but plain ol water. We run into this with my eldest. We are aware of it and get on him to drink more water when we see him trolling for snacks.

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A.J.

answers from Seattle on

Has any one addressed this child's emotional needs? Many people eat because they are depressed or bored. If you are his Grandmother, where is his mother and his father? He may be trying to fill a void. Food gives most people a feeling of comfort and security because it is a basic need. Questioning him over it like he is in trouble may make him feel ashamed of the fact that he is binge eating and cause the cycle to keep repeating itself or even get worse..Is he receiving any therapy? Also it sounds to me like you are setting him up for failure. Why keep junk like pop tarts in the house? Put a fruit bowl on the counter. Take a nutritionist cooking class with him. He needs to be educated about food and what it does for the body in a good or bad way. Leave little containers of cut up fruits and veggies in your fridge. Make sure that he is getting plenty of water, because some people mistake thirst for hunger. He may also be preparing for a growth spurt. My 12 year nephew would always be starving right before he'd hit one.

I personally think that locking your food up like he is some wild animal is abusive and any one who would do that to their family needs help. Are we really that concerned with weight that you would make your children feel like prisoners in their own home? I am aware that there are certain health problems that come with weight and the teasing they might endure at school...But you are setting your child up for an unhealthy relationship with Food. I would rather have a fat kid then a child that suffered from anorexia or bulimia.

5 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Get him in a sport and stop buying the junk food.

5 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Redding on

Sounds like he's an emotional eater. Best thing you can do is keep healthy snacks only in the house. If he wants something to munch on have him slather some pnut butter on some celery and always keep a fruit bowl on the table. Better to eat 5 apples than one poptart.. Get rid of the poptarts, those are poison..... they are good to use for something like "camping" as a treat but not something they should eat on a daily basis, they cause "craving" of other bad foods..... poptarts are addictive.
Kids that are bottomless pits and gaining weight are dealing with emotional issues, the food feels good and that's why they do it. Find out what's bugging your grandson and try to get him into some team sports or interested in something to keep him busy, happy and occupied so the fridge isnt his best friend anymore. Poor little guy.
My friend lost her daughter earlier this year in a car wreck, now she and her 11 yr old son are both getting huge, they eat constantly, it's very sad. Now the kids at school are making fun of her son for being fat and she is mad that people are bullying him for it. She knows they are eating for comfort but she can't seem to figure out how to stop. I'm sure counseling would be the thing to try, but I know most people wont go to counseling.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

God bless you for raising your grandchildren, i'm doing the same with my 2.5 year old.

Keep the high fat and sugary foods out of the house, Pop tarts, granola bars, chips, sugary cereals and drinks, etc., no one needs them. (Once in a while as a special treat ; ) Concentrate of having healthy foods to snack on like fruit, veggies, whole grain crackers, light yogurt, etc., that everyone can eat. Have a platter of celery sticks, raw cauliflower and broccoli florets, carrot sticks made up, along with fresh fruit ready for anyone who wants a snack, and serve fruit for dessert.

Don't make up his plate anymore, either, have him sit next to you at meals so you can keep a check on portion control, but always eat family style where everyone serves themselves, even younger ones. (The Head Start program does this with little ones as young as 3, part of their focus on enhancing the social and cognitive development of children.)

Make sure he's getting plenty of physical exercise every day, before watching TV or getting on the computer. And that he is drinking lots of water, which sometimes a lack of triggers excess eating.

If he continues to sneak food talk to his pediatrician and ask for some additional testing to rule out a thyroid or diabetic problem, and if nothing is found a referral to a therapist. His health could be affected by excess weight and even at 9 he can benefit by talking to someone.

{{Hugs}}

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

The only thing you can do is not have it in the house or lock it up where only you have access. But it also sounds like more than eating because he's hungry. I'm not sure what the situation is that has led to you raising your grandchildren, but kids, like adults, use all kinds of coping mechanisms to deal with hard things. Is it possible that your grandson is using food to cope with whatever is going on with his family, whatever has necessitated him moving in with you? If so, recognize that he may need counseling to address the underlying problems, which may need to be treated before he will actually lose weight. Treating the underlying problems will also target the behaviors that lead him to sneak food. It might be a route worth looking into.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe you should get him checked at the pediatrician first and make sure there isn't something medical going on. Does he drink a lot too? How long has this been going on for? If you mention him having a high BMI, plus a large appetite and drinking more than normal, he could be diabetic. Not to be an alarmist, but I think you should really try to rule-out a medical reason first, or see if it's simply a growth spurt, before resorting to restricting his food intake. Emotional overeating could be an issue too. Do NOT keep junk like Pop Tarts, granola bars, and processed snack-type foods in the house for him to snack on - fresh fruits and veggies and whole grain products, fiber, etc. will fill him up better and be healthier for him. No soda, Gatorade or other sugary drinks either. My SIL lets her 2 year old drink fruit punch pouches all the time, calls them "juice" and then wonders why she's such a sugar addict.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I have a pantry with a padlock on it, and I hide the key. It's a cheap tv type armoir. Its' the only way I can keep my boys from sneaking food. Any type of snack type food/pantry item is in there. I suggest you do something similar. Or, if he really is hungry, give him appropriate snacks, carrot sticks, celery sticks with low fat peanut butter, banana, apple, trail mix, ice water, grapes, something that is not as fattening and loaded with sugar as a pop tart.... remove the temptation for the junk food by no longer purchasing them. It will be better for everyone that way. I buy pop-tarts maybe once every 8 months, for a special 'treat'.

He could also be snacking out of boredom or stress. Make sure he is involved in a lots of good, physical activities and emotionally healthy.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I worked with foster children. Sometimes children who were neglected and did not have food reliably would steal or hoard food when they first started living in a home where food was always available. If your grandson came from that kind of environment maybe you want to try counseling. Also you could make him a designated spot (shelf or box in the fridge or cabinet) for snacks and keep it full of healthier snacks. Keeping the junk food out of the house (or cutting down a lot) probably can't hurt (though the rest of the family may complain). If you do go the locking up the junk food route make sure he has access to some kind of healthy food he knows he is allowed to eat when he wants.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think when it comes to cutting back on food (esp junk food) it has to be a GROUP effort. I imagine that although your grandson sneaks food, he is not the only one with a junk food (eating problem) I say this by virtue of the food that is in the house. Therefore, the best way that I think you can help him is to rid the house of junk and add more healthy selections. this includes getting rid of those granola bars, which depending what type you get, they are high in calories but moreover, processed carbs (unless you are eating the RAW ones) ... try add more healthy choices such as cutting up fruit ahead of time so that when the "food mood" strikes, perhaps one can reach for that type of food. also, the more processed carbs you eat, the more a person craves them.... get rid of those pop tarts as well...
again, this has to be a group effort. don't forget he is growing and kids do get hungrier at times. My son is big for his age as well and while he doesn't sneak food, he does like larger amounts. In which case, when we do eat, I give him things that will also help curb his appetite such as protein and too, I always add some type of raw veggie or fruit as I think fiber is so important and definitely helps stave off hunger.. lastly, we NEVER ever have soda or sports drinks or processed juice in the house. all those are empty calories.
lastly, consider either getting him into sports OR do as I do, I get outside and play with my son, for example, today, we played frisbee and we also walk as many places as possible.. again, I make it a family program as we could all stand to get in better shape. I would also add that my son likes to cook... so we aim for healthy meals. maybe you can allow your grandson to help out in the kitchen and tell him, if he wants to snack, you will show him how to make a healthy snack.. this could help him curb the sneaking of food while at the same time, help him learn more about the food he is eating..

best of luck to you

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

He is using food to cope. I would suggest some counseling to help him come to terms with whatever he is using food for. The other thing I will tell u is that the more you make a big deal of this and fight him on it the worse it will get. Get rid of the snacks in your house so he can only access healthy things. Then get him into an activity that he likes and incorporate exercise into your routine.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Has his thyroid been checked? A relative of mine was always sneaking food as a kid and it later turned out that she had a thyroid imbalance. As soon as it was corrected she was fine and stopped overnight!

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

NEVER fight about food-- take it from a VERY fat lady who USED to be a slightly chubby kid-- it makes things worse not better!

I HIGHLY reccomend Spark Peoples Ten Commandments-- that's what's taped on my fridge and what I TRY to live up too! http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.as...

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L.L.

answers from Rochester on

This is not necessarily about emotions...I wouldn't be so quick to judge on that one. He's nine. He's probably hungry.

That being said, you are the one buying candy bars, PopTarts, granola bars, etc...whatever it is. I used to buy that stuff, too...but children aren't great at moderating. I remember eating a huge (huge) chocolate chip cookie EVERY day for lunch in seventh grade, and that was it. In eighth grade, I had a bean burrito and a Dr. Pepper every day. Not the best choices, but they were there and I could. I'm grateful I wasn't overweight.

So, what I've done in my own home is buy filling but (mostly) healthy snacks. String cheese, yogurt, apples, bananas, oranges, pears, etc...graham crackers are about as wild as I go. I actually let my six year old pick ONE junk food each month when we shop, and she usually picks a box of HoneyBuns and there are only six...so six in a month, with no other junk, I can handle. If she wants her snacks sweeter, I add whipped cream, which really isn't the worst thing you could do (way better than adding sugar, syrup, etc.)

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V.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree about getting the unhealthful food out of the house. Try making a smoothie for him with spinach. Mixing in blueberries will hide the green color and cover the taste. You don't need a fancy blender.
I also agree about getting him checked for diabetes. At best he is likely pre-diabetic.
Talk to his school counselor. She can be of help or recommend a good counselor.
Pack his lunch for him. School lunches here are almost totally lacking in nutrition.
What are the after school hours like? He is busy enough to not think about food?
I do not agree about locking the pantry.
Good luck and God bless.

1 mom found this helpful

N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Either don't buy easy to smuggle things like pop tarts and granola bars which are high calorie treats or put a padlock on the cabinets. The only way he's not going to sneak the food is if a.) it's not there to sneak or b.) he can't access it. He's proven he cant' be trusted to stay away at his word so, put a bowl of fruit out on the counter and a lock on the rest of it.

If you don't want to ruin your nice cabinetry with a lock, buy something cheap and store all the "no no" foods in there and lock it up, leaving only acceptable foods in easy reach. Oatmeal packets and apples etc.

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

No junk food in the house, period, that means only whole foods: lean meats/beans, whole grains (bread, pasta, rice) veggies/fruit, no juice or soda. We go OUT for ice cream, it's a treat, we don't keep it in the freezer, you can do it!!! Teaching our kids how to be healthy is a choice and it is SO worth it!!!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

you know the answer to this right? i mean you do, you just don't want to do it...get rid of the junk. he won't eat it if it's not in the house. keep fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, etc...watch dr. oz and google healthy eating habits. everyone will tell you the first thing to do is not have it IN the house. he can't eat it if it's not there. and yes, the whole familiy should be eating better. might as well take the plunge.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

This isn't about the food. This is about emotions. Trying to control the food will not do a thing except impose shame. It sounds like you need to check in with him emotionally. He is crying out for help. It might be time, like others suggested to take him to a therapist trained in eating disorders. Hoarding and binge eating is just as much an eating disorder as anorexia. It's time to intervene now.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

He is overweight because there is junk food at his disposal. Throw it out. THen buy only healthy fruits and keep them washed and in the fridge.
Let him have fresh veggies with a little dip make from lite sour cream or yogurt.
Or teach him how to cook an egg,
make celery boats with raisins and peanut butter
make cookies with Fiber cereal or oatmeal
Let him fix his own plate, food has become his power, help him curb it ,but not by punishing him.
And you have to model the behavior you want him to have. So if you eat poptarts then that is exactly what he will eat.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

His sneaking food is setting him up for an eating disorder later in life. Buy healthy snacks then don't buy the rest. If you have to do this for him then everyone does it too. No junk food at all. My grand-kids will do the same thing, they like yummy calorie ridden food. But they do lots of activities and stay skinny to slim. They are 50/50 on the index. 50% for height and 50% for weight. The have muscle and very little body fat. I don't know what I would do if their health was at risk due to something like this. But them sneaking, that's bad in the long run. It makes food a control issue and not just food anymore.

You can be assured he is eating stuff at school not allowed and if he goes to a friends house too. Maybe the doc needs to do some more research and find out if there is a metabolic issue going on here.

Good luck, we are Grandparents raising Grandchildren too.

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