Slow Talker at Age 5

I had a child like this it was my second child. A mother knows when there is something wrong. My family doctor was an idot. I finally got her into a program in South Bend. By the hospital it is called First Steps. It's free. They started reading to her. This really works. I know it could be hard as you have others at home. My child also had low mustle tone and couldn't crawl till 1yr or walk till 22 months. This was real hard for me. Well she is now 12 and she is very intelligent in the top of her class. Matter of fact she has skipped a grade. Just be patient.

Hi T..

I have a lot of suggestions, as we've been through very similar with our son. He's now 6 1/2. He started school on time, but he had a difficult year in Kindergarten. His speech therapist was great, but his teacher was often frustrated with him. We eventually took him to the Vanderbilt Clinic in Nashville, TN, where they told us he has a mixed/receptive language disorder, and they assured us he'd be caught up in speech by the third grade.
In the meantime, we're fortunate that he taught himself how to read by age three. Reading seems to be the way he learned to communicate with us. He reads at a third grade level. He's also very proficient on the computer. Lots of programs helped him learn to read. Few helped with the speech, except Team Up With Teamo. If your son likes computers, that's a good program. It's a friendly computer face who encourages your child to speak. You set it up with a microphone so he can hear his words played back. It also builds up vocabulary, which is a big need for late talkers.
Our son had a lot of trouble with potty training AND W questions. Not sure how they're related. I know one day he just took over his potty needs, without me having to ask, and he never wet the bed, always does a great job. I guess he has to do things perfectly.
With the W questions, those are still a little difficult for him. He will ask me a question, and I will correct the W word he meant. Such as, "What is Dad?"
"Where is Dad?"
"Yeah, where is dad?"

We read a lot. I have sought out very patient friends and their kids to spend time with. People who won't put the pressure on for a quick response. People who give him a chance to think about what he wants to say. That's made a big difference with his confidence.
He's doing great. Considering he was misdiagnosed with Autism two years ago, the boy we have today is a slow talker in social settings, and it still takes him awhile to process what he's just heard, but he was undeniably the top of his class at Kindergarten in academics, which helped reassure skeptics that he understands a lot more than his speech suggests. We're also very grateful for his fantastic speech therapist, who was always coming up with ways to help him. For instance, she would take him on days he wasn't normally scheduled for speech, and she would have him read to the rest of the group. Had him be her little assistant, in other words, which made him feel proud. She built up the trust with him that he needs before taking risks with speech. If he feels he's going to disappoint someone, he will stay quiet. If someone makes him feel slow, he'll avoid them.

Our son loves putting on skits and plays. The Vanderbilt clinic recommended we get him into theatre at age seven. He can read and memorize, and acting is perfect for his strengths.

I could go on and on, but wanted to offer some support. I'll think of more of what's worked for us if you want to write me:
____@____.com
He starts first grade this fall. We're excited for the first time ever. His new school will be very helpful in giving him the support he needs, and they've been great at encouraging his strengths. We already know he likes riding the bus, and he's made friends in the neighborhood who will look out for him the first few critical days of learning his routine.

I've decided to give him a lot more responsibilities this summer, and he's really taken to being treated like a big kid. It helps him stay focused. Lots of times he's in a dreamy state, acting out things in his head, but giving him a job to do brings him back to earth. He still gets plenty of imagination time, but the one-to-one that we spend together makes a big difference with his communication. If I really focus on speaking to him, asking him questions, answering, explaining what's going on...he stays engaged and seems like a completely caught up speaker.

It's been quite a ride. But a great one.

Good luck, and I hope to hear from you.

Sincerely,
Ange

I agree, Healthy families is a great place to start. You could also check with the school system he'll be attending. In Huntington preschool children are evaluated and come into the school to work with a speech pathologist. That serves two-fold as it also gets them acclimated to the school facility so next year will go a little smoother. One of the things I've heard pathologists talk about with slow speakers is making sure they have lots of opportunity. Especially with older children interacting, it's easy for a family to just "do" for the younger child without requiring them to use their words to ask for things. You can also reward talking (use whatever appeals to the child - yet something small, ie. one m&m), then as frequency increases, slow down the rewards (ie. at first reward every speech, then slow it to every other, then daily, etc.)

Is your son in preschool? In Elkhart there is a program called PACE and they work with speech and language therapy through the schools/preschools. Our son attends Hillcrest Preschool in Elkhart and was evaluated last year. He was on the borderline but took language therapy for 3 months and made a huge improvement! It is free and a wonderful program. I believe you can find out more information through the Elkhart Career Center.

You can call either Healthy Families or First Steps (I think that's what it's called.) They are free organizations in Fort Wayne that help with the development of little ones. They will come out to your house and work with your son. We belong to Healthy Families and our home visitor is awesome! Good luck!

T.: I have 5 children, My son(he is now 13) had a seizure when he was 18 months old he never really talked much (not that I did not try to get him to speak) well I took him to doctor after doctor to see what was wrong.Noone know.. Well it turned out he had so many ear infections that he had lost his hearing. he had two sets of tubes and then I called the public school (once a child turns 3yr old they are reasonable for your child its called early intervention) this did wonders for him. It is a shame but not many doctors know about the early intervention classes so they do not tell the parents about it. You could check into the head start programs also and speech class... He may need OT also They worked wonders. talk to your doctor about this problem. Also when he starts school they have to give him Speech and OT if you request he be tested for it... He would be on a IEP ask the school and doctor about it.... good luck

I don't have any advice just encouragement. I am the middle child with a brother on either side. My younger brother was held back from kindergarten when he was a kid. The next year he was ready, he had done a lot of growing in that one year. Just be patient you never know what will happen in a year. Maybe he will grow up to be like my brother the top of his class in high school and college because he was ready. Be proud of yourself for makeing a tough decsion that will help your child.

Hi T.,

I am a mom of 3 boys and while my oldest wasn't a slow talker, my 5 yr old and 4 yr old have been and is. Right now, my 4 yr old does alot of what we would call gibberish, and momma and bye. He however, is very smart and can count on his fingers and interacts well with learning programs on tv. I say all this because I was very worried with my 5 yr old (being almost 4 at the time) when he finally began to talk. He could make you understand what he wanted and I had no trouble getting him potty-trained. His pediatrician assured me all kids learn at different levels and when older siblings are involved they can be lazy at talking when everything is done or said for them. I am trying not to worry about my 4 yr old but it is hard to potty-train him. I didn't start him in preschool this year due to not being potty-trained and not talking much, but realize he does have to start school with-in the next year. Believe it not, you're not the only one that worries and asks is this normal for my child? Do I give it more time or have him tested? I don't believe there are any right or wrong answers. I have chosen to wait until my son turns 5, which will be in Jan and in that time if he is not showing improvement in talking I will definitely be talking to his doctor. Remember, you are not alone in this and there is always options, questions to ask, and professionals to seek help from. Good luck and hang in there.

A.