Sleepover Nightmare

Updated on May 12, 2014
D.L. asks from Philadelphia, PA
47 answers

My daughter Madeline is very much into her aerobics classes that she has recently taken up and has made many new friends there. It was her 8th birthday the other weekend and she really wanted to invite the other girls from her class around for a birthday sleepover party. My husband and I debated about it for a few days and eventually agreed that she could have 3 of her best friends around from the aerobics class.

Come 4 the afternoon of her birthday all 3 girls arrived with presents and smiling faces and I thought this whole sleepover thing would be a piece of cake, big mistake their mom!
The girls arrived very excited, ran around laughing, screaming, and talking about One Direction until dinner.(The dog also got very excited and created a few messes for me to clean up while I was trying to order the pizza.) What I expected: they went through 2 cheese pizzas and a gallon of lemonade in about 10 min. What I didn't expect: they threw marshmallows at each other and talked about farting and constipation while at the table. Madeline thought it would be funny to burp every five minutes while eating to try and impress her friends which is behaviour that is certainly not acceptable from her. I went through a tub of baby wipes and 2 rolls of paper towels cleaning up random messes.

Things went alright for the next few hours with a movie and an hour session of beauty makeovers which all the girls really seemed to enjoy. Come 10 o'clock we decided it was time for lights out and I asked the girls to get into their onsies for bed. This is when the real trouble began. These girls just would not go to sleep and always had an excuse for getting up, one was thirsty, 3 got up and complained that they had to go potty and one was even scared of how dark the room was. Her best friend Clara, was in tears and nearly wanted to go home but we were able to calm her down eventually. I nearly lost it though when Maddy came to our room for the last time and complained that they'd all gone to bed feeling gassy and now her room smelled from them having a farting contest.

My hubby was the one that finally quieten them down and around 2am we had them all asleep though this time two in bed with me and two on sleeping bags in our room. My poor husband had to take the guest bedroom. Let me tell you when you've got four 8 year olds randomly talking in their sleep, constantly moving, bumping you in your sleep or passing gas its definitely hard to get any sleep of your own.
I will say I'm a little lost right now as to whether or not to allow another one for July or whether she should be a little more mature to host events like these.

What can I do next?

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answers from Richland on

How many profiles do you have and why are you so fascinated with farting!

As soon as I saw aerobics I knew it was the fart troll!!

12 moms found this helpful


answers from Danville on

Ah yes...memories!!

This is why I have always called them 'spendovers'. There was never much sleep involved for anyone!

11 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

You think that was a nightmare? That sounds normal. And fun for an 8 year old. What exactly were you expecting 8 year olds to do?

You won't get sleep when hosting a sleepover. Host them when you're prepared to be tired the next day. That's what moms do.

7 moms found this helpful

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answers from Reading on

I'm thinking troll, but just in case...

I think I would not want to come to a sleepover at your house. Not because the kids were wild, but because you are too judgmental and intolerant. They were acting their age, the way they act when parents aren't around. I can't believe you're even criticizing a kid for being scared of the dark. Great empathy there, mom. No, unless you can find a way to loosen up, you should not do any more sleepovers.

13 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Totally sounds normal. Had you never been to a sleep over when you were young?

Girls arrive, play , they are loud, excited and many times they stay that way.

I let them eat alone, no food throwing allowed. And yes, they eat all night. Pizza, veggie platter with dip, fresh fruit, brownies, cookies, popcorn, pretzels, ice cream, it will look like a group of locust went through your fridge and cabinets if you do not have enough options.

They want to be together and they are just goofy.

No bad language, burping and farting jokes can be fairly normal at this age, just remind them, this is not considered good manners.. But do it with a smile.

Play outside running around, play board games, have about 3 or 4 videos ready to watch, but I promise they will laugh and talk the entire time instead of sitting there quietly watching.

And FYI, a sleepover is what it is called, it does not mean they get any sleep. They are too excited. TOTALLY normal.

Put the dog outside or in your bedroom, if he cannot handle all of the loud noises.

I think you may have had some preconceived ideas but not actual experience. What you wrote sounds like every sleepover I ever attended and pretty much the way our daughters sleepovers went down.

12 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Ha! Try it with 8 boys!


Ha! Try it with 8 boys!

11 moms found this helpful


answers from Erie on

Sounds like the only thing missing is the tent made out of couch cushions and blankets :D
I agree, you may not be cut out for this kind of thing, not all parents are. I love hosting sleepovers and have had many of them. But we are night owls, and don't typically go to sleep ourselves until 1-2am. We don't intervene unless someone is feeling left out or unwell. I doubt I would have let any children that were not my own sleep with me, and I would have called the parents of any child that didn't want to stay, regardless of the time.
Two things: they should have helped clean up in the morning, and yes, kids talk about farts a lot. The ones you think do not do so just do it out earshot of their parents.

I am also laughing at the moms here who are "appalled" that little girls would behave this way. They shouldn't host sleepovers.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Yep, that would be a slumber party!

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Did you ever go on or host a sleepover when you were a kid?

What you are describing sounds pretty normal to me for a sleepover. The girls just let go and enjoy themselves. As for any messes, I always had them clean up after themselves.

It sounds like you had a different expectation of what a sleepover is. The children do NOT just come over, eat, watch a movie and go to sleep. The whole point for some of the children is to be awake all night, talk, laugh, do dumb things they would not do in public otherwise, eat like crazy.

Maybe it would be best if you let your child experience sleepovers elsewhere because you sound like you are wound up a little too tight for a group of girls. I've has as many as 12 -15 sleepover at my house and I never got as riled up as you have with 3. Some people just aren't cut out for it. That is ok, just don't let your daughter miss out because you hate sleepovers.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Williamsport on

Holy zonkers. Um, these girls are not used to boundaries I see. My oldest is 8 and she has sleepovers with a rowdy (actually downright bad at times) friend, and HELL NO this would not be tolerated.

Allowed: Fun snacks, staying up late, goofing off.

Not Allowed: Awful behavior, throwing things, making huge messes, burping and passing gas on purpose SO MANY POSTS SAY THIS IS NORMAL NOWADAYS??!!! What is going on with little girls acting like this??!! I was never raised to think it was OK to burp and fart at will and would NEVER do it at a friends' house!!!! I do not get it!!!! Taking over parent's bedroom???!! wth??!!

When the girls are at my house, I firmly draw the line at any "bad" behavior. And the kids are used to that, so it's not an uncontrollable situation at that moment. They are allowed a little more leeway at the friend's house because her grandma is more lenient, but still, nothing this crazy. If anything they play more video games than I would allow-since we don't even have video games here, and stay up a little too late and my daughter is tired the next day, so we don't do the sleepovers often.

When I attended sleepovers as a kid, we goofed off and stayed up snickering wildly all night quietly enough not to get in trouble in our rooms or we KNEW the parents would take us home or never let us do it again.

So I am BAFFLED at this level of behavior.

No. No more sleepovers until these girls are MUCH older, or until all the parents in charge of them have taught them some minimum amount of manners. Terrorizing a host family is so not OK by any stretch of the imagination as far as I'm concerned.

Ditto Suz T, we went NUTS and half the fun was trying NOT to be heard by the parents!!! And we all knew if we acted "scared" or couldn't go potty (WHAT??!?) we'd never be allowed to have another worked for everyone.. I guess that was back in ancient times when parents kept kids "in their place" more..

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Sounds like a normal sleepover to me!

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

Did you have sleepovers as a kid? They haven't changed much. I remember trying to stay up all night and giggling over some pretty silly stuff. I remember one of my friends laughing and making milk come out of her nose and the rest of us spent the rest of the night trying to make milk come out of our noses. My boys have been having/attending sleepovers since they were four or five. They do act silly when in a group and I try to step back, let them have fun and not micromanage. This is behaviour that may not be appropriate for school or church, but it is appropriate for a group of 8 year olds amongst themselves. As for sleeping, do not have expectations of kids going to bed to sleep at 10:00pm. I never send the kids to bed on a sleepover. I set them up in the livingroom/recroom with sleeping bags in front of the tv and let them watch movies until they fall asleep. They fall asleep much faster if I am not sending them to a quiet room and telling them to go to sleep. I probably would have called Clara's parents if she were that upset. When the kids get rowdy in the house, or start throwing food I send them outside. They can eat on the deck and run around and tire themselves out.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from New London on

Sounds pretty typical minus the marshmellow throwing. I personally would allow another one but have some set rules.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Denver on

Ha ha ha ha - sorry but you just had your 1st sleep-over party! Everyone lived, they had fun - it was a success.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Boise on

We have had many sleepovers, many were with more that 10 girls at a time. (Largest I can think of was 16 girls, not including my own). You have to go in with a mindset of not getting much sleep, having lots of personalities and temperaments. What helps me is going into my room after meals, snacks, pj's, activities.and such and just let them hang out and wind down. Everyone knows that there's not much sleep at a sleepover. I would definitely go in around 12 or 1 a.m., though, and tell them to settle down and be ready for sleep. This, of course, means they will not sleep til around 2 a.m.. As for the gas jokes and such, well, they are kids... kids joke about their bodies and what noises, smells, etc... come from them. It's a part of childhood.

All in all, lighten up, go with the flow and it sounds like they all had a fun time. This is a typical sleepover. BTW, next time, have them all sleep in sleeping bags on the floor in a large room like a living room, family room or spare room, so everyone is on the floor, in their own bags with their own pillows; no bed for anyone. :)

7 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I think your party was a big success! I'm sorry it wasn't what you wanted or expected. But it sounds like you gave your daughter a great memory and a wonderful time. :) I remember growing up and this was totally what our parties were like. Sometimes we never went to sleep. I'm impressed with you actually... I think you did a good job.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

Yep...... sleepovers at that age...

Pretty typical.

As far as the farting, I'm not surprised.... potty humor is still really big with that age! I remember you telling about the big fart over the microphone.

Throwing marshmallows? Nope..... when that started, you should have had them pick them up.... they make a mess, they clean it up.

I really don't remember when my kids started having sleep-overs.....

Next time, I would just start with one person at a sleep-over, not a slumber party. That helps start the expectation of certain behavior/sleeping at someone's house.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

sounds about right for a sleepover with four 8 year olds...

Question is when can YOU handle another round? It won't get any better.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

That pretty much sounds like every sleepover I've ever heard of! (Which is why I've never hosted one. LOL)

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

From what I see on this and other sites, parents are allowing sleepovers at younger and younger ages. While eight is now pretty typical for a sleepover today, we would have been at least 10 to 12 when we started having them. With girls the age of yours, the key is to have activities and more activities planned -- in other words, you have to be ready to redirect and distract like you've got a bunch of toddlers on your hands; when kids of eight get in a group they can get pretty wild, as you found. So when the food fight starts, you instantly stop it; have THEM, not you, clean it up, and then move them immediately on to something else you have planned, set up and ready: Jewelry making (a boatload of beads and strings and charms is fine); decorating t-shirts or tote bags with fabric markers and glue-on jewels (on an old sheet spread on the floor and when they are wearing clothes than can get messed up, just in case); and whatever else works. Yep, you have to hit the craft store and be prepared, or have an extra movie and be cool with letting them watch two instead of one; or have cookies baked and let them use squeezable decorator frosting tubes to decorate their own cookies and take pictures of them before they eat them.....

It sounds like I'm telling you to be Martha Stewart (no) and to micromanage their night (kind of). But what it comes down to is that it helps to be ready to move them on when things get wild. And have them clean up if they create a mess -- I would not have spent that time and those paper towels doing it myself!

Let your daughter plan the activities before the event. She will love doing it, and it gives her ownership so she will want to do those activities more because she planned them with you.

As for the farting contest -- I wonder how real that was? I would bet that they were more restless and kind of scared to go to sleep than actually overcome by their own smells.

Next time keep it to one other kid, not a group, too. And maybe wait a couple of years. I know of families that do a "non-sleepover" where kids come for food, games, a movie, and then leave by maybe 10 and go to their own homes.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Sounds very normal for that age. I would have another one...but maybe sit your daughter down and tell her midnight is when you expect them to quiet down. Do you have a basement? Sleepovers are in the basement in our house when there is more than 1 or 2 guests...then they can be louder longer and bother less of us :).

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Toledo on

Personally, I think 8 is very young for as limber party because so many kids still need to sleep in there own bed or with one of their parents. I know lots of kids do it, but my oldest is 7 1/2 and I'm just not ready to host one. Most of your struggles after 10:00 were related to their ages.

I'm a little surprised you were so bothered by the farting and burping contest and conversation. Sure it's not ladylike, but it's a bunch of girls together with no boys around. They don't need to be on their best "dinner party" behavior. Relax and let them be silly. You don't have to find it humorous, but you do kind of have to pick your battles and this isn't one I'd choose,

I would not have been ok with throwing marshmallows. Not sure what else they did to make a mess, but that would have bothered me too.

She probably is too young for a sleepover, but do remember some of this for next time so you can be more specific about your expectations.

And I'm not sure it's ever realistic for parents to get much sleep at sleepovers. Just not going to happen.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Sounds like you never went to any sleep over parties when you were that age....

I am surprised you got them to go to sleep at all, most of the time they stay up until they fall asleep one by one.

No reason they couldn't have the lights on all night too. If the were afraid of the room being so dark you should have left the lights on. You were just trying to make them go to sleep when that was not an expected thing to do at all.

I suggest you let your girl go to sleep overs from now on at other peoples houses so they get to do the normal sleep over stuff. If you're able to let it go and expect they're going to stay up pretty much all night then let them have another sleep over.

The messes? I'd have made them clean up after themselves. Say "Hey you guys, grab some paper towels and clean this mess up before you start the movie". Done.

Also, I have NEVER been able to get the kids to do ANY planned activity other than some movies, that I approved of first. They want to run amok and have fun, not sit at a table and do stuff. Other than makeovers and nails they just aren't going to want to sit down and do stuff.

So don't be disappointed if you do plan activities then they don't do them the way you think they would have.

Also, do start it after dinner time, late dinner is what I usually do, tell the parents to send them hungry. I grab a bunch of Little Ceasar's pizzas. Cheese and pepperoni is pretty much all they'll eat.

Then they eat and eat, alone, in the kitchen around the island. When they're all done they clean up their trash. I go in after they're done and wash it all down. Easy peasy.

When they are full I let them go outside if it's possible and do what every. Water play is a lot of fun. A simple garden hose with some attachment on it to make the water spray up is fine. Then some water guns and stuff makes them stay outside running around.

They are going to be hungry again so be prepared to feed them again. Probably more sweets than protein. I usually make a ton of brownies without any nuts or other stuff that are high allergens. After an evening snack I still keep chips and dip, the brownies, fruit, even some veggies tray stuff, and some other snack foods around for them to graze on too. And a couple of gallons of milk too.

I wouldn't have put the movie in until around 10pm. I put the kids in the den/family room/living room and make the area between the furniture a huge pallet of blankets. I take all the pillows off the couch and chairs and the kids use them as pillows to recline/lean back on. So they have, in effect, chaise like places to sit and lean back comfortably.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

sounds like exactly what 8 year olds do when they're not given firm enough boundaries. you're a sweet mom, and didn't want to step on the fun, which i get. but when you are willing to be stern about some basics, it just makes it easier for everyone.
'girls, if you're going to run and scream, take it outside. now.'
'we do not throw food in this house. i hope i don't have to take the marshmallows away.'
'i know farts can be funny, but at the dinner table they are not. please excuse yourself and go the bathroom if you need to pass gas.'
don't smile or act casual when you're issuing an edict.
kids DON'T sleep at sleepovers, but there's no reason they should be disturbing you. heck, my merry band of miscreants at that age would have been turning ourselves inside out NOT to wake the parents. why on earth did 8 year olds have to have help going to the bathroom? put a nightlight in their room, and the bathroom, and tell them you'd better not hear any noise after midnight (or whatever) and that's that. i'm very surprised that they all WANTED to sleep with the adults present.
i'd allow another one in july, but just allow 2 girls, and be more firm and clear about what's allowed. sleepovers are part of childhood's enchantment, i hope you don't rule them out.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

this is pretty normal. but what the place you maybe got side tracked is you don't have the sleep over start til about 7. they get there get settled in have pizza, watch a movie do nails etc and then bed. don't expect them to actually sleep til way late. and have pick up time be set for like 9am lol

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Sounds typical. Kids get silly and engage in behaviors that they need to get out of their system. Kids don't sleep at sleepovers - they all get tired and cranky and then all the parents have a crappy day the next day. That's the rebellion in the kids and it's okay on some level if they get a little ridiculous.

You can't allow food throwing particularly when there is a dog who could get into it. So that's where you should have stepped in and said, "Girls, we're not throwing food. Let's all stop and pick things up before the dog gets into it and you have to clean up doggie vomit." You don't sit at the table while they burp and fart. You give them one warning about appropriate table talk while people are eating, and if it continues, you get up and you clear the plates, and tell them if they are hungry later you can heat up the leftover pizza. Then you leave the room or send them to the other room.

I would not have put the kids in bed with you. I would have told them to work it out, and I would have made sure there was one room with a good nightlight and one room that was dark IF that was required. But first I would have put the nervous child next to the nightlight and the other kids further away but in the same room. I would have sent them to bed at 10 but expected them to stay up until 12 or so. I'd have given her some air freshener and told her that they stunk up the room so they can unstink it.

Finally, I'd wait 6 months for another sleepover at your house because they just aren't ready for it. But if they have another at someone's house, you can talk to Maddy about the lousy time she had at this last one and how you're not sending her to someone else's house to be disgusting in front of the other kid's parents. Let her earn that privilege by showing you she's mature enough.

I think these girls just didn't have enough experience with sleepovers. I think it might be better to have 1 girl at a time until they learn more about controlling themselves, eating so much they get sick, and so on.

Otherwise, chalk it up to experience. When they get tired of feeling badly, they'll make better choices!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

I would limit sleep overs to one friend at a time for now, while you establish some rules with her about how friends behave when they come over.

And now you know to keep the dog outside when the kids are running around crazy.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Slumber parties are rarely about sleep. We put the kids in a central room (like the rec room) and then if there are problem kids, we can move them to other spaces to sleep. At the table, I would have said simply and firmly that the behavior was impolite, joke's over, this is dinnertime. Took the marshmallows away. Made them help clean up their mess. Maybe SD just had a better group of friends, but I don't recall ever having to tell a group of girls to quit farting/burping at the table.

Since they are 8, it may have been their first sleepover and they didn't know what to do with themselves. We have had to call a parent (or be called) when a child doesn't want to stay for whatever reason. I would have called the parents of the girl if she was not to be consoled. No harm, no foul.

We also do "lights out" and if there is a lot of noise after that, then we split them up to keep them quiet. When they got older, they would move on their own and we'd find 2 in the basement, one on each couch and SD in her own room.

What you might consider next time is 1 or 2 seasoned sleepover vets to stay only. It's also easier in the summer to invite just one pal vs the whole class since they're not in school and comparing notes on Monday. One kid who is a known quantity is easier than 4 or 5.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

I have had a few girls at once for my daughters at that age and they did sleep. The rowdiness I would have endured some but not a ton and I get mad when they won't go to sleep by a certain point. 2am? No way. These kids are young. I think people are remembering more like 12 or 13 year olds. My 8 year old went to a sleepover and they were up till 11. My easy going husband was shocked. So 2am? That would have made me crazy.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

Sounds like a fairly typical sleepover to me.

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answers from Amarillo on

You had four girls in your house at one time and there were 8 years old and one of them was your daughter.

This is the beginning of what is to come. Perhaps not in sleepovers but if they remain good friends they will buddy around for the next 4 to 8 years and do many things together.

I was a bit older and had several sleepovers with about 6 friends each and we had the whole basement to clown around in. We did the snacks, hair makeup, dance contests, laughed and giggled, played records yes back in the stone age, and finally fell asleep around 2 in the morning. We usually got up around 8 and did clean up any messes we made and they would write a thank you note to my aunt for letting them stay the night.

Of course we were tired out but that was part of the effects of the sleepover.

Sorry you didn't know what to expect. Sorry your husband was moved from his bedroom. (That would not have happened in my home.) So try with one girl for a bit and add another as you go until you can handle several girls spending the night at your home.

You can cancel the July event until later in the year or next year. Nothing is set in stone.

Get some good rest, have a glass of wine and enjoy the peace and quiet.

the other S.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

When my daughter was that age, we had sleepovers too. What you described is typical behavior. The girls get wound up and act silly. After one sleepover where I caught two girls sneaking out in the middle of the night, I decided no more sleepovers. Plus, the mornings were bad since most of them were irritable due to lack of sleep. Cleaning up was also a dreadful task.

My suggestion for you is that if you are going to continue having sleepovers, make sure that an adult is awake at all times to supervise. Take shifts sleeping during the day so that someone is up at night.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

Totally normal and the reason I won't ever allow another sleepover b'day party in my house. My 8yr old and her friends were up 'til 1am (not as bad as 2am), but still pretty bad. I was a tired wreck the next day, my house was a disaster, my daughter (and I'm sure all her friends) were a grumpy mess all day from lack of sleep, I really hated the entire experience. You've described a very typical slumber party. Some people can tolerate them. I learned that I cannot.

One friend at a time from now on for sleepovers.

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answers from San Francisco on

Sounds normal to me! Not sleeping at a slumber party? Check. And come on, farts are funny!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

Some is normal, others is not. I've hosted sleepovers with over 12 rowdy boys (and my boys started having sleepovers at 4 years old). I expect them to be loud, crazy, run around, stay up late. I would also have expected proper table/etiquette manners and told them that burping and farting purposely was not ok in my home. Also, yes they make messes, but I would have also handed the mess maker a paper towel and instructed them to clean it up. You just have to have realistic expectations and set boundaries. Don't be afraid to enforce those boundaries with the other children.

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answers from Norfolk on

When I was growing up, we didn't do sleep overs till we were teens (like 15 - not young teens) and we pitched a tent out in the back yard for sleeping arrangements - not that anyone really slept.
We did our hair, nails and talked about boys, ate pizza, popcorn, watched horror movies, had stale pizza/popcorn for breakfast then went home next morning to get some real sleep.
These days people seem to do sleep overs at much younger ages and there's just no need for it.
I wouldn't do it - I'd stick with doing it when they are older teens.
Our son use to go to parents night out lock ins at his taekwondo place.
He went when he was 9, there was LOTS of kids and plenty of adult supervision.
You get to set the rules and it's ok to say 'NO' to sleep overs.
If/when you do this again, set the rules - the kids sleep in the designated area and they do NOT invade your bedroom or ransack the house.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I would not expect a kids sleepover group to sit at the family table for a formal "dinner time" Get the pizzas, paper plates and cups and let them eat informally in a rec room. Yes, expect a fair amount of mess. But let them be, and expect it normal for burping, farting, and talk of constipation, etc. They can do that in their own space, away from the adults. Gross, but harmless. Throwing marshmallows, not the worst thing ever, but definitely NOT around a dog, and they need to clean it up asap before it becomes a worse mess.

If some of this group had to sleep in bed with you or in your bedroom, they are too young and/or not ready. They need at least a few more years, most of them.

Next time try just one friend. I sympathize. I'm not a fan of slumber parties either. My older DD had only 1, and it was too stressful for her. Since then, its only been one friend at a time at our house. My younger DD has had just 2 of those.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

I'd say you are not cut out for this, which is okay, neither am I. My sister has all the patience and totally understands that kids are kids. She just lets them fizzle out when they are good and ready, with no rules and no bed time.

As for the burping, it is a regular occasion in this house between my daughter and her dad. I can't stand it, but it still goes on.

As for the dark room, I stayed at my aunts last summer and had to borrow the night light from the restroom because the room was too dark for me too. It was so dang dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my face.

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answers from Boca Raton on

I'm with Amy J. on this one though I don't have girls. I did grow up as a girl (with sisters) and I'm amazed at some of the responses here.

If my parents ever heard I was intentionally making bodily noises at someone else's home that would have been the end of sleep-overs for awhile.

No being destructive either.


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Huntington on

You have already received many answers. I just wanted to chime in that this must be "normal" 8-9 year old behavior, at least when groups of girls get together. My daughter just turned 9 and invited 2 of her friends over for a party. She is normally quite well-behaved, and we have had no problems when having just one friend over. But, add in sugar and a third friend, and it was the same sort of obnoxious disaster you described. It was like they were all trying to impress each other with their "funniness" and it was really over the top inappropriate and not at all what I expected.

I am sorry the party was hard on you. While I do think that many girls that age behave like this in groups, it did make me decide that I am not up for it in the future. I am happy to host 1 friend at a time and I am not willing to do sleepovers at this time. It is not worth it if it exhausts me like that. I really find the whole sleepover thing to be difficult and unnecessary anyway.

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answers from Honolulu on

When my daughter was about 9, she had her first sleep over for her friends at our house.
She had 5 friends over. That was the agreement.
The girls arrived at the designated time.
Prior, I had already talked to the girl's Moms, and about drop off times and pick up times and what we would be doing.
It was very casual. But planned.
And everything was fine.
The girls had fun.
It was sane.
There was no trouble.
The girls did what they wanted, they were very independent. They were mannered. They had fun. I did not have to hover over them. They went to bed fine. They did chat away while in their sleeping bags and while the lights were already turned off. There was no horseplay. Me and the girl's parents, all knew full well that they would be falling asleep late. Because it was a sleepover. It was fine. I told the girls that they are to keep the lights off, they have their flashlights with them, if they are still up talking & chatting....that is fine, but do NOT be loud and wake us all up. And they were fine.
If they wanted to get up and go to the kitchen to get a snack, fine. They knew how. My daughter was mature enough to assist her friends. They know our house, it was fine. And I told them that at any time, if they need me for anything, my daughter can come and wake me. Even if it is 3:00 in the morning. But it was fine.
They were not high maintenance. They were behaved but still had fun and were being typical of their age. And I told them all: IF you wake up EARLY in the morning or during the night.... do NOT BE LOUD because the rest of the family or the other girls are still sleeping. And they were fine.
And they cleaned up after themselves, too.
At the age my daughter was and her friends, and with her sleep over, my daughter and the other girls were fine.
They can get up and go to the bathroom by themselves.
They ALL had flashlights with them.
I also had nightlights in the bathroom and hallways & kitchen. So the house was not all dark.
They did not sleep in "onesies." They are too old for that.
If one of them wanted to call her Mom, fine, she did.
They did not make a mess in my house. And if they made a mess by accident, they cleaned it up. They even cooked their own breakfast. They wanted to. And they washed their dishes after. I didn't have to force them.
If they ate all the food that was designated for the sleep over, I said "Sorry, that is all I have. You all ate it up! The rest is for breakfast tomorrow morning."
And it was fine.

Sleepovers, can be full of activity and girls being gad about.
And they do fall asleep late.

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answers from Anchorage on

Up until you said they all ended up sleeping with you it sounded like a perfectly normal sleep over. Kids do things (like potty humor) together they know is not okay to do around adults. And, it is a sleep over, they are supposed to stay up late. We would alway put in a move around 10 and ask the kids to stay in their sleeping bags and watch the movie, so maybe next time move the movie to the end of the night, at the very least if forces everyone to slow down and settle in and makes sleeping after much easier.

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answers from Seattle on

I don't understand why it was a nightmare. From the title, it sounded like something really dreadful had happened. This sounds kind of in the "typical" range for a sleepover, except for the sleeping with you part. They probably would have eventually run out of steam on their own had you let them be.

Unless the marshmallows were already roasted, I'm not sure why this was so messy. Generally, you only have to pick them up and throw them out.

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answers from Chicago on

Sleepovers are stupid! I have never hosted one, and have only let my 12 yr old daughter go on one just one time. She came home tired and SO crabby that I couldn't stand to be around her...which is exactly what I expected. Never again!

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answers from Chicago on

Sounds like cousins' sleepovers many years ago at my house. I kind of miss them. At least I knew where they were, what they were doing (even if it was gross) and that they were laughing and having fun.



answers from Des Moines on

Sounds typical, and the reason I will NEVER host one.



answers from Washington DC on

My DD is 10 and I absolutely won't do a slumber party. Almost every slumber party for other kids she's gone to over the years has resulted in a few girls calling their parents and leaving early. Of course they don't get sleep....and usually it leaves them tired and cranky.

I agree....have only one at a time for a sleepover.

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